What did you do?
by SouthernHemmy
Summary: Puck reverts to his old ways...Kurt never left WMHS and Karosky never kissed him...Thanks to everyone for making this story/journey...The reviews have been so great and I hope I continue to make it worthwhile...Thanks everyone...Hemmy
1. Chapter 1

I have been watching the first season of Glee, it was my Christmas present from my family. The writers blew it when they made Kurt's first kiss with Karofsky. It should have been with Puck. He is the one the show built up being a bully to Kurt since they were in Grammar school. And just for the record I really don't like Blaine, he is tooooo perfect and Bland!

Their first time….

Kurt has seen Puck look at him, watch him with fear and hate in his eyes. His behavior has become unbearable to Kurt, the bullying has started again. Puck never calls him any nasty names just roughly grabs him and shoves him in to the walls of the bathroom or the lockers in the hallways.

Finn notices the change in Puck's behavior towards his step brother and calls him out about it. Puck merely shrugs his shoulders and tells him to fuck off, which leads to an all out fist fight between the two best friends. (Yeah they had been working on their friendship.) For once Finn is the victor of the battle, leaving a beaten and bloody Puck in the boys locker room. _Don't touch him again Puck, or next time you go to the ER. _The words echoed in quiet room.

Kurt watches for Puck to come out of the locker room. He knows that Finn just left with a battered face and bloody knuckles, he knows that Finn was defending him. His wait is not long as Puck emerges from the steel door way hunched over spitting nasty balls of bloody goop as he walks towards his truck.

When Kurt sees Puck pull out of the parking lot he fires up the old car he borrowed from his Dad's garage and starts to follow Puck. He wants to confront Puck about what is going on, he has an idea but he really wants to be wrong. He is confused when Puck doesn't head home but turns down an old farm road that leads to Elam's Mill.

_Great, wonderful, I am following him straight to my own beating or death…..No witnesses…No one to place Puck at the scene of the crime….Maybe I should turn around…._

But Kurt doesn't, he continues to follow Puck to the old Mill. He hangs back a little ways so that Puck doesn't see him following him, plus the dry gravel road is kicking up enough dust that Kurt is having a hard time seeing in front of him. The dust from the road is thinning out some, Kurt knows that Puck has either stopped or turned off the road so he slows down until the white cloud is almost completely gone. He sees Puck pull in by the creek parking his truck. Kurt stops by the side of the road just watching Puck, waiting to see what he is going to do next.

Puck gets out of his old truck, walking to the edge of the creek and sits down. Kurt can hear to music from his truck blaring out some rock music and slowly eases the car closer to where Puck parked his truck. Kurt has one final thought as he decides to block the small entrance Puck used with his car. _This stops today, whether Puck beats me to a pulp or kills me, it stops today_. Kurt steps from the car and begins to walk to where Puck is sitting throwing rocks at the running water.

"What the fuck? What do you want Kurt?" Puck looks up as Kurt approaches him. _I cant even escape you out here? _"Did you come to gloat? To see what your stepbrother did to me?" He all but growls at Kurt, his fists clenched so tightly he doesn't even notice the rocks cutting the palms of his hands.

"I came out here to find out what the hell I did to you Noah? You've gone back to being a douche to me, the last three weeks have been hell. I thought you had changed in the last year or so. **I want to know what I did to you**?" Kurt's voice is strong not betraying the fear that is coiling up inside of him. He looks at Puck's face seeing the different emotions flicker in his eyes.

"My…Name…Is….Puck! Stop…Calling…Me….Noah! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME? YOU WANT TO KNOW? I CANT GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD! I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU! I CANT STOP…I..AM…NOT…LIKE…YOU….NOT….GAY…I'M..NOT…GAY!" Puck the last words shouted to the sky as he looks everywhere but at Kurt.

_Oh my Gaga! Puck is having a sexual crisis and he is blaming me? What the fuck? He cant stop thinking about me? Denial…._Kurt's thoughts are literally going by so fast. _Yeah I've had a sort of crush on the mohawked teen off and on again since we started high school, but this…Shit what am I suppose to do? How am I suppose to make him stop thinking about me?_

Kurt watches Puck stomp towards him and he has know idea why he does what he does…..

When Puck stops in front of him, he roughly grabs Puck by the neck, his hands bruising the soft skin. He pulls himself up and kisses Puck hard with his soft lips tasting his blood. He can feel Pucks body go rigid, but he doesn't pull away. It is a full minute before Puck tries to pry Kurt's hands away from around his neck.

Kurt breaks the kiss first, fighting against Puck's attempts to remove him from his neck. Looking in Puck's eyes he sees, fear. He hears Puck's words stammer from his lips, _K-kurt, p-please_. The words whisper across Kurt's lips. He knows the older jock could rip his hands easily away from his neck and proceed to beat him until he was nothing but a dead body, but Puck's attempts are sluggish.

He kisses Puck again, this time Puck kisses him back. The violence of the kiss, teeth scraping against lips, Kurt's tongue demanding entrance into Puck's mouth when the taller boy whimpered in surrender. He can feel the tremors in Puck's body, as he explores his mouth, suckling his tongue.

Suddenly Kurt feels Puck's arms wrap around his waist jerking him flush against Puck's hard body. Kurt fists Puck's mowhawk roughly scraping his nails along the stubble. He rolls his hips against Puck's hard cock, moaning at the friction and heat between their bodies.

Somehow they end up on the grassy creek bank. Kurt underneath Puck with his legs locked around Puck's waist. Their hips grinding unmercifully against each other. Hard cocks rubbing against each other, trapped by the fabric of their pants, straining for release. Deep growls and loud moans could be heard mingling with the music playing from Puck's truck.

Their touches weren't soft or tender, but hard and jagged leaving marks wherever their bodies met. Bruises were left by hands, lips, teeth. No soft words were spoken, no words were needed at this point.

Kurt could feel Puck's orgasm building, the thrusting became faster, harder. Kurt's neck felt the pain of Puck's hard bite as he came in his jeans, the animalistic growl buffered by the soft neck. Kurt followed Puck over the edge, the pain from the bite causing him to explode into a millions pieces. A deep moan escaped his swollen lips as his body shook from his first sexual experience with another boy.

Puck rolls off Kurt when he feels the soprano's hands push at his shoulders. He cant believe what he just did with Kurt. He feels the stark reality of what he just did drying on his skin and boxers.

Kurt stands looking at his disheveled appearance. Blood prints from Puck's hands and lips litter his designer clothes with dirt and grass stains mixed in from the ground. He watches Puck through his dark lashes; the sun reflecting the tears falling down the tanned cheeks.

"Until you can handle whatever just happened….Until you can be honest with yourself…Stay away from me Puck…" Kurt says in a low and even voice before he walks back to his car.


	2. Slamming the Closet Door

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed or alerted to this story…I have researched the drug abuse relating to gay teenagers, it is really scary what kids will do to themselves to forget what they are feeling and who they really are inside. I do not condone drug use or underage drinking….What we need is acceptance not ways of hiding who we are….I hope that I captured Puck's reaction in a way that makes sense to you the reader. Please let me know what you think and if you feel I got anything wrong in his reaction…._

Part 2

Slamming the Closet Door

He watches Kurt walk away back to his car, the words hanging there in the air…_until you can be honest…stay away…._Puck turns back to the creek willing it to give him the answers, to tell him what to do now.

_I just kissed and dry humped a guy! And I got off on it! Kissing and making out with Kurt "Capital G" Hummel….I SHOT MY LOAD OFF IN MY OWN PANTS! I couldn't stop….I didn't want to stop….It was intense…White hot…Scary…..It felt wrong, yet it felt natural….But I'm not gay right?_

He feels shame, humiliation, frustration at what just happened with Kurt. He pulls his knees up against his chest, burying his face in the denim fabric of his jeans. The material soaking up his free falling tears. He hugs himself tighter, sobbing harder…

He cant stop the cold fear that is growing in his chest; spreading like a disease. He stays in the same spot for a while letting the cancer take root in his mind. He isn't suppose to like guys. He isn't suppose to like kissing guys. This wasn't _normal_, this wasn't _right_.

The sun begins to slip slowly from the horizon. Puck, standing on shaky and unsure legs; walks back to his truck. He climbs in and heads to a destination he hasn't been to in a long time. Somewhere he hasn't _needed_ to go to for _help _in a long time.

The drive took twenty minutes and led to the roughest part of town. This rundown area of town was known as the projects. It was a government housing area for the poor. You could find any drug you desired if you knew the right people to ask, if you didn't then you might not make it back out to the _right_ side of town.

Puck knew the right people. Forty dollars and ten xanax bars later he headed to his next stop, the liquor store. He showed the clerk his fake id and bought a fifth of vodka. He headed home to forget the kisses, the way Kurt felt in his arms, under his body, the dried cum stuck on his body….He wanted to forget it all…


	3. Sliding Down

**Hello everyone! Thanks for the reviews…Just a couple of things…NO suicide is happening, at least not yet…My Kurt is strong but at the same time he is just as confused and hurt as Puck…**

**Chapter 3**

**Sliding Down**

_Kurt POV _

Kurt walked back to the car without a single backward glance at Puck and drove away. He couldn't look at Puck, not after seeing the tears leaving wet trails down his dark cheeks. He didn't want to see the regret or confusion he knew was in the older teen's hazel eyes.

He had known Noah-The straightest guy at WMHS-Puckerman most of his life. Kindergarten through sixth grade was tolerable with Noah, he even stood up for Kurt when his mother died and the other kids were teasing him about crying. But it all changed in Middle School, Noah became Puck the badass, the bully, his tormentor.

So confusion to Puck meant anger. Anger meant fists, fists meant pain, dumpster dives, slushies, shoulder checks into lockers. Kurt did the one thing he has always done for so many years, he spoke his mind and walked away with his head held high.

Now in the safety of the borrowed car he had time to process everything from the choir room incident a few weeks ago to what happened a few minutes ago with Puck.

Kurt knew that day in the choir room something changed between Puck and himself. He had no control of the events that day. If anyone could be blamed it was Finn and his inability to perform simple dance steps. Doofus really was an appropriate nickname for his stepbrother. Finn couldn't get the spin/turn right and threw that big ass arm of his out hitting Kurt square in the middle of the back, sending him literally flying through the air and straight into Puck's body.

Kurt remembers every detail of that encounter with Puck. The electric charge that curled his toes when he landed against Puck's hard body and felt Puck's hands grip his ass holding him there for a few seconds. Kurt's own hands had gripped the well defined chest muscles, feeling the outline of Puck's nipple ring against his palm. Kurt could feel the famous Puckzilla against his crotch. (Shit! The rumors are true…The size of that thing!) He could feel Puck's warm breath against his neck, the soft scratch of the stubble on Puck's cheek tickling the sensitive spot just below his ear. Puck just let him go, he never said a word.

Kurt thought it only changed him, he had no idea it had changed Puck until the following Monday morning at school. He was standing with Mercedes beside a row of lockers when Puck brutally shoulder checked him into the row of lockers. The force of the blow left him stunned and sliding down the metal cabinets. If Mercedes hadn't been there he would have slid down to the floor, but she kept him on his feet. She was yelling about cutting off Puckzilla with a dull spoon.

When Kurt turned to look at Puck, he only saw the back of the jock's Mohawk and being given a one finger salute. Kurt was too stunned to say anything. He knew then that Puck had been effected by it, but he thought it was disgust the jock felt not desire. And now after three weeks of bruising locker checks he knows it wasn't.…

_His first kiss had been with Puck…His first sexual encounter with a boy had been with Puck…_

_This whole thing is surreal_

_My first kiss…My first make out session… Puck…The boy who has tormented me, made my life hell for years was my first. The hickey on his neck throbs each time he thinks of Puck. But why me? _

_I have officially gone to the Twilight Zone and I'm not talking about vampires either, but it really wouldn't surprise me right now if Rachel turned into Bella, she really is a whiny bitch….Finn would have to be Jacob…**Stop it Kurt**_**_, you can't make this go away with stupid thoughts…He giggles to himself…Hysteria is not far off in his state of mind…._**

He pulls over when the giggles turn to a full blown melt down. The tears blurring his vision. He cries for the loss of his innocence, the loss of his first kiss to someone that doesn't care about him. Puck being confused did not give him the right to cause this to happen. But so much more was explained by the fact that Puck kissed him back and then everything got crazy.

_NO it wasn't Puck's fault. I kissed him, I grabbed him and I kissed him. I wanted to kiss him, to know what that intimacy felt like, to have someone touch me, to want me. I didn't expect it to go as far as to having my first orgasm with someone. _

_I am a human being, I crave touch just like everyone else. If you lived like I do you would have done the same thing. No one touches me, not even my Dad. Sure he hugs me when he thinks I am going to crack or squeezes my shoulder when he thinks I need it. _

_But what I really need is for someone to care enough about me; to hold me when I am scared, lonely, upset, reach out to me when I need someone. A boyfriend who will always be there for me. And that is definitely not Puck. I could never fall in love with him. He could never be the person I need in my life._

_Now what happens? It will never be the same. I will never be the same. _

Kurt drives the rest of the way home, his world destroyed with no hope of sharing what happened today with anyone. Mercedes would freak out and she would tell someone. Finn would try to kill Puck, no matter how many times he told him it was him that kissed Puck. He couldn't tell anyone….


	4. Where to turn?

Chapter 4

Where to turn?

_Sorry for leaving off where I did last night but I wasn't sure how I would write this part…Kurt is morphing into his own in this story….He is writing himself…LOL…But I do like where he is going with his side…I hope you like it…And this chapter is short….But the next will make up for it….Please thoughts or comments are appreciated…_

Kurt arrives home to an empty house. Burt and Carol are out on a "date night", Finn is with Rachel of course, so there is no one to question him about his appearance. He heads down to his room in the basement but he stops at the refrigerator and grabs the bottle of wine Carol had opened last night to go with dinner. He doesn't bother to grab a glass as he heads downstairs. April taught him well..

He sits at his vanity without looking in the mirror, he doesn't want to look at his reflection. All he wants to do is forget about the creek and what it felt like being in Puck's arms, what his lips felt like… He takes a long pull off the bottle of wine, the bitter drink burning all the way down.

He walks into the bathroom and begins to undress with his back to the mirror. He takes the stained clothes and places them in the garbage can. The shower is hot enough to scald him as he steps in bracing against the pain. He sees the bruises on his hips, his cock sore and tender. He scrubs until his skin is red and raw. He steps out and grabs his white robe, wrapping it around his small body.

Kurt sits back down at his vanity and drinks more of the bitter wine before he looks in the mirror. The face staring back at him he doesn't recognize, the eyes are hollow. There is no brightness to his blue eyes, no sparkle. He looks at the hickey on his neck, red and blackish blue, he can see Puck's teeth prints. His fingertips graze over it, feeling his pulse pounding against them. _Fuck me running, cover up is so not going to work. Gonna be a scarf week at least…. _He drinks more of the wine.

Kurt's thoughts

_I refuse to cry anymore. I refuse to destroy my life over one screw up. I made a choice, not really a good one, but it was MY choice. And I will live through it. I just want, no need someone to hold me right now. Tell me everything is going to be okay, to make everything okay. _

_Why cant I find someone to love me? Why cant I have one friend that I know I can trust completely with my secrets? I really love Mercedes but the girl loves to gossip. I am not really close enough to the rest of the girls to talk about this to them. And how exactly would tell someone what happened? Uh, Puck and I dry fucked today and now I don't know what I am feeling? Yeah, it sounds crazy in my head let alone out loud to someone. I need to talk to someone….Please let them answer…._

Taking a another long drink from the wine bottle, he reaches for his phone and texts….


	5. I Feel Fine

Thanks to everyone that has marked this story for alerts and for the reviews…Shout out to Yuki Chan, Grace C for listening to me…I hope this chapter is good…I have been on Xanbars and its hard to describe what you feel, except that you feel good…Nothing bothers you….Nothing stays in your mind bugging you…Its like its all good in the world…And alcohol only intensifies this feeling…You honestly forget everything that is bothering you….

I Feel Fine

Chapter 5

Puck takes a Xanax as soon as he pulls into his driveway, washing it down with a shot of vodka. The alcohol burns all the way down his scratchy throat. But he likes the pain and the warmth that is spreading through his body from the drink. He was so cold on the ride home and it is at least seventy degrees outside.

He notices his mom isn't home and he hopes that his sister is over a friends house. He just really wants to be alone right now. He just wants a hot shower, his guitar and peace. He takes another drink before getting out of his truck and walking into the house. He hides the bottle in his backpack.

The house is empty. _Thank God_…. He heads upstairs to his room to hide his _medicine_ and drink before heading into the bathroom. He looks at himself in the mirror. The bruises on his neck along with the hickey are what he notices. _Fuck it, it looks like I got lucky that's all. I am Puck after all, sex shark of WMHS and Lima…_He strips and steps into the shower.

The shower doesn't take long and his _medicine_ is working as soon he steps out of the shower. He could feel the lightness to his body, the way his stubble tingled when he towels off hair. He leans back against the vanity closing his eyes just letting the feeling wash over him. He opts for a pair of sweat pants and loose fitting tee shirt and gets dressed.

He goes downstairs and grabs a soda and an empty glass, he isn't hungry so he heads back upstairs to his room. He locks the door and grabs the vodka filling the glass half way before putting the bottle back in its hiding place in his closet.

He sits on his bed with his back against the headboard, grabs his guitar and begins playing random songs. He takes a break every now and then for a drink. His thoughts are calm and muted now, nothing staying up front in his mind. He is finally relaxing, the liquor making him feel warm and the pill making the world seem less dark.

He knew the Xanax would take the pain away. They make him forget. They help him not to feel. Not to cry anymore. _He took them for a little while after Quinn gave Beth away. _The euphoric buzz heightened by the drink sitting on his night stand and no food in his stomach since lunch. They help him to feel normal, to feel right again. _No feelings for Kurt is right, right?_

He check his phone when he gets a message from his mother letting him know that his sister is staying over at a friend's house for the night and that she would be working a double shift. He texts her back that he is fine and he will see her in the morning.

He looks around his room, the posters, the pictures of his family, the books in his book case….._Yeah I have read all of them…Surprise! I am literate…And I am smart too…I don't go to class cause it is boring! No one knows my real grades, but me and my Ma…I love to sketch… …Painting is another thing I love to do….But I always burn anything I create so no one knows…._

_Everyone wants me to be the stupid jock that thinks with his fists, so that is what I am….And you know after a while you start being the thing you pretend to be….A bully, an asshole…Most of all lonely…Its like you play the part and then they have the excuse to walk away from what they helped create….It doesn't matter anymore…Nothing matters anymore…_

He drinks the rest vodka in the glass and sets his guitar on its stand by the bed. He is getting ready to lay down and let his hazel eyes close for a while, when his phone buzzes with a text message. He opens the message….

Santana-

Are you home cause I'm horny as hell and need to fuck!

Puck-

Yeah. The front door is open.

Santana-

Be there in five and you better make it good!

Puck-

It's always good bitch. Don't wear any panties either…

Santana-

Didn't plan on it…

Puck thinks this is just what he needs, a good fuck with a girl, his girl. The way it is suppose to be…A girl, tits and a pussy to bury his dick into…He gets up and unlocks his door, strips and then lays back down on the bed…He hears the front door open and close…He can hear her pad up the stairs…_She must be horny, she was already here when she text me. _

His door opens and she is standing there in a trench coat. She drops it off of her shoulders to the floor, she was completely naked underneath it….She seductively crawls on all fours to his bed, he reaches for her pulling her up to lay with him. He kisses her roughly feeling her nails drag across his chest.

She grinds into him letting him know she wants it now. She was never one for foreplay. She just to feel him stretching her, fucking her senseless into the lumpy mattress. She just wants to cum, to feel sexy…But something isn't quite right…

Puckzilla wouldn't come out and play, no matter what she tries, he just lays there like he is dead. She uses her mouth, her hand, talked dirty and he was still limp as a huge wet noodle. Puck tells her he must be tired is all. He even offers to _help_ her out, but that isn't what she wanted from him…

Santana isn't happy, horny and angry are a bad combination for her. She blames him, of course. He's never been too tired to fuck before now, so what the fuck? Caught up in her own emotions and tirade she never notices the hickey on his neck or the other bruises on his neck and groin.

She accuses him of being a fag, a queer, calling him Captain Homo. She screams at him as she pulls the trench coat back over her nude body. He tells her to go fuck herself or Brittany and to get the hell out of his house. She leaves screaming insults at his anatomy and threatening to get even with him for wasting her time.

He hears the front door slam and is happy that she is gone. He lays there for a few minutes before he gets up and walks to his closet. He grabs the bottle back out and just drinks straight from it. He wonders what the hell just happened, why his dick wouldn't work. But after a couple of big drinks his buzz is starting to fall back into place in his mind and he goes back to his bed after hiding the bottle again. His blood shot eyes finally close for the night, letting him have a little bit of peace before the morning light brings another fucked up day…


	6. Doin Some Accepting Of His Own

_Now you know who Kurt text….To me Artie is the one person in Glee that can keep a secret…Especially one like this….Plus the relationship between Puck and Artie is growing this season…So he knows some of Puck's secrets, like not really being such a badass in Juvie….I can only hope that I caught both Artie and Kurt….Guys do gossip, but not the way girls do….I wrote this kinda in a script style since they are talking on the phone…_

Kurt-

Hey can you talk?

Artie-

Yeah…What's up?

Kurt-

Something happened and I need to talk to someone…Artie can you call me so we can talk instead of texting?

Kurt's phone rings…

K

Artie…

A

What's wrong Kurt?

K

I kissed a boy and made out with him today….It was Puck…

A

What the…Puck's been bullying you Kurt! Explain to me what is going on..

K

I followed him out to Elam's Mill…I just wanted to find out what I did to him…What I did to cause him to start the crap up again…He kept telling me he wasn't gay…That he wasn't like me…We started yelling at each other…I was so terrified…

A

Did he force you Kurt? Be honest with me dude!

K

No! Artie.. I kissed him…I don't know how to explain what I felt or why I did it, cause I really don't know. I just grabbed him and kissed him…He was so scared Artie…I could see it in his eyes…

A

Hmmff…Puck scared…Yeah right…Are you sure he wasn't playing you Kurt? Trying to get you worked up to use it against you? I know he's changed but…

K

No it wasn't like that Artie…It wasn't like that at all…I'm not comfortable saying what we did, but he was into it as much as I was….I have never seen Puck afraid of anything but I saw the fear in his eyes and I felt it in his touch…I said some pretty harsh things to him afterwards, basically told him to come out or stay away from me…

A

Why were you mean to him Kurt? If you liked what happened why be mean to him especially if he was afraid of what was happening to him?

K

Because for years he has been my bully, my tormentor…He has hurt me before and I guess I wanted to hurt him back…Maybe self preservation…I don't want him to hurt me like this, not my heart…I don't know what to do now…I will see him tomorrow in school and I don't know what I am suppose to do…

A

Just act like you always do…Wait and see how he reacts…If he wants to talk about it then talk to him! If he is scared then he is going to need you…If he walks on by and acts like nothing happened then let it go…Let him come to you…If you can that is…I think there is more that you're not telling me…

K

Artie, please don't say anything to anyone about this…Puck could get physically hurt over this…I know what the homophobes have done to me and it would only be much more aggressive with Puck…He was one of them…He was their leader for a long time…I know he can fight back but there are too many of them at school….I don't know if he would survive the harassment….

A

Kurt, you know I am not going to say anything…Puck and I are friends or we were until he started back to bullying you…I knew there was a reason, but I really didn't think of it being something like this….But it does make sense…Puck lashes out when he is scared, remember when they threatened to put him back in Juvie? …He went off in Figgin's office and trashed it…That is when we started being real friends…I saw him frightened that day…That was the first time we actually talked to each other…It was like seeing a different person in his eyes…I think that was the first time I got to see Noah…

K

Noah? What do you mean Artie?

A

Puck is just this mask that Noah wears…I don't know why…But he never really shows who he is to anyone but his little sister…I have seen Noah a couple of times when we hung out together…When we had jam sessions with our guitars, he would go off into this place in his head…I could see the change in his eyes, in his face….He looked peaceful, happy…I saw it with his sister one day…She wanted to have a tea party with us…Puck asked me if I minded…I told him it was cool…He carried me upstairs to her room….He just picked me up and carried me…It was kinda strange but nice at the same time…He said it was easier than his sister dragging all her dolls and stuffed animals to the dining room table…So we sat in her room at this little table drinking tea from these little cups and eating cookies for an hour or so…Believe it or not we had fun…She had fun and that was what was important to him…You cant repeat that either Kurt…

K-

Puck at a tea party? Kurt starts laughing like a hyena. Sorry Artie, I just…Well I'm picturing Puck and ….hehehehehe…You surrounded by dolls and stuffed animals…Playing house…That is too funny! Hehehehehehe _Kurt cant stop giggling….He needed to laugh…._I wont say a word Artie...

A-

Glad I could provide the comic relief…Kurt why did you call me instead of Mercedes? She is your best friend, right? So why not talk to her? You and I aren't that friendly with each other…._Artie doesn't like the fact that Kurt is finding this soooo humorous._

K-

I love Sadie, I really do but…But after yelling multiple threats and trying to be understanding, she would tell Quinn….Who would tell Sam…And so on…She cant keep a secret…I don't want anyone to know….I wanted to talk to a guy about it…I am a guy remember? I don't have any guy friends except the male half of Glee and none of you really associate with me….

A-

Well Kurt you really don't hang around us…You hang out with the girls….Sometimes you are more stuck up than Rachel….I thought you and Finn were getting along better…You two are brothers now….He told me that he was going after Puck after practice, saying something about how it was his job to protect you…I stayed out of it….Are you going to tell him about this?

K-

Oh Gaga NO! He would only hear Puck kissed me, not that I kissed Puck…I don't want him to get hurt again because of me…I was the one who followed him to Elam's Mill and started yelling at him first…Finn would try to kill him for real this time….Puck is messed up enough without adding a trip to the hospital…..

A-

Kurt what do you think really started all this….Mess?

K-

I think it all started that day Finn launched me into Puck during rehearsal…I thought everything was alright, you know? That what happened, was just an accident…No big deal…Puck never said a word to me about it…He just kept me from falling and then pushed me away….

A-

If I remember correctly both of his hands were….er…uh….holding you up by your ass…And you were….uh….holding on pretty tight to his chest….No one said anything to the two of you, but it looked really intense to everyone else in the room…Like you both were enjoying it….Some of us talked about it after practice….

K-

I wont lie Artie, it was kinda nice other than being terrified he was going to hit me…Puck is hot if you are a guy that's gay…But he isn't boyfriend material…He has never been in a true relationship with anyone….Even when Quinn was pregnant, Puck couldn't be faithful to her…He couldn't stop being a whore…I don't want to be his experiment….To start caring only to be hurt by him…..

A-

I don't think that Quinn gave much of a chance or a choice in babygate…She wouldn't even acknowledge him as the father until Rachel told Finn the truth…Puck really wanted to be a father to Beth, to take the responsibility of being the father but she wanted Finn…And now they both live in their own private hell….

K-

I know…Quinn and I became friends when she moved in with Mercedes…She wanted what she thought was best for her, not Puck…And really not for Beth…She wanted her old life back…To be _normal _again…I think she regrets her decision now…And I have a feeling it hurt Puck more than he ever showed to anyone….

A-

We talked one day about Beth…He really wanted to be a father to his daughter…He wanted to be the kind of father his father wasn't….Quinn didn't give him that chance…He did what she wanted, not what he wanted….Its like he does what is expected of him…To fail…To screw up….To be Puck the Delinquent….Everyone that has cared about him or he has cared about, has walked away from him….After he does what they expect him to do….His father….Quinn….Finn…Beth….His own mother blames him for everything because he looks just like his father…There is a lot more to Puck than everyone thinks….

K-

You know, this is the first time I have ever heard anyone talk about Puck as a person…Everyone talks about who he is screwing or bullying….They talk about what fight he got into…But no one ever talks about HIM as a person….What his life is like….What he is really like…They just talk about what he does...I remember what he was like in grade school and I do miss that person…He was so different then…He was my friend…That is who I wished I had kissed instead of Puck…

A-

Kurt you did…They are the same guy underneath it all…Puck is the mask and Noah is the real thing hiding underneath it….Like I said earlier…Just wait and see what happens at school tomorrow…If you need me just text me okay?

K-

K…thanks for listening Artie…And for being my friend….

A-

No problem…Got to call Brittany before it gets too late…Later

Kurt sets his phone on the night stand. He hears someone moving around upstairs and knows that Finn is home. He hopes he will just go on to bed and leave him alone. Kurt really doesn't feel like talking, he needs to think and to maybe do some accepting of his own…

_Puck is Noah….Noah is Puck….Who the hell did I kiss? Puck? Noah? Who kissed me back? He remembers the words whispered across his lips, "Kurt, please" ….The stutter, the unsure voice…Maybe I did kiss Noah….I am not going to make it tomorrow…_

He turns the lamp out and tries to sleep…


	7. Not A Time To Breakdown

Hello everyone! Thanks for all the reviews and alerts once again! It is like feeding me chocolate! :D Now for the story…This chapter reveals a couple of things that will be happening later on…

Chapter 7

Not A Time To Breakdown

Puck woke up the next morning to something in his bed that hadn't been there in a very long time. He placed his hands on the front of his still damp sweat pants. _Shit. What the hell? _He really cant remember the last time he had a wet dream. He gets up and heads to the shower trying to remember the dream. His mind is still to foggy from the previous night's vices to think clearly.

After the shower he dresses quickly and locks his bedroom door. He goes to the hiding spot where he put the vodka and pills in his closet. He retrieves both, taking one of the pills putting it in the pocket of his button up shirt and pours some vodka in an empty water bottle sitting beside his bed. He puts the water bottle in his back pack. He puts everything back like it was in his closet, unlocks his bedroom door and heads to school.

He sees Finn and Rachel as soon as he pulls into the parking lot of the school. _Great, just fucking great! _He watches them walk away from her car towards the school. Puck steps out of his truck looking around for anyone else who might try to give him a hard time, seeing no one, starts walking towards the cafeteria entrance. He is seriously in need of some food.

He knows the other kids are staring at him as he walks past them. Hell he would stare at him too. The fight with Finn yesterday left him with a couple of cuts on his face, a black eye and a split lip. But he knew Finn looked just as bad as he does, he got in a few good hits on Finn.

Puck reaches up and touches the pill in his pocket. He knows he needs to eat before he takes it or he could end up in the nurse's office for real. He continues on to the cafeteria keeping his head down and ignoring everyone around him. He grabs a couple of waffles and bottle of juice before he heads to his locker.

The food is gone by the time he reaches hallway, the juice just outside of the double doors that open to the hallway. He turns to walk towards his locker when a flash of red and white grabs him and slams him to the row of lockers in the hallway.

"So this is why you couldn't fuck me last night?" Santana screams at him as she pulls his collar open exposing the hickeys that Kurt left on his neck. "Who is she? Who is the little whore Puckerman?" The fury blazing in her dark brown eyes as she slams him into the lockers again.

Puck remembers the creek and Kurt. The images of what happened playing in his mind. His face flushes a deep red in shame and embarrassment. He remembers the dream he had last night. Kurt and that wonderful mouth, those soft hands. He feels sick to his stomach at the memories. He shoves Santana away from him.

"It's none of your fucking business Lopez. We only fuck remember, it's not like we are anything but a body to each other. You don't give a shit about me. You only care about yourself." Puck growls at her in a voice that tells her not to push him anymore, but she is Santana after all…

"Fuck you Puckerman! You were never that good anyway! I've had better than you and bigger too! Go crawl back into your closet with the little slut you had last night. You will never have this again!" She waves her hands in front of her body. She never expected what happens next.

Puck grabs her and shoves her back against the lockers, his eyes blazing with unabashed hatred for the Latino girl. He has never hit a girl before and he isn't going to start now. He hit's the locker by her head so hard that a dent forms in the hard metal, bloody smears are left by his knuckles. "I don't ever want to see you again Lopez. Stay the fuck away from me." He tells her before walking away to find the nearest bathroom.

Santana has seen Puck fight, not the shit he does here at this lame ass school and for the first time in her life she was afraid of him. She had pushed him in the past, they both got off on rough sex, but he had never reacted this way. Santana is going to find out what is going on with Puck and who the little slut is occupying his bed.

She looks at everyone looking at her with pity in their eyes and screams, "What the hell are you losers looking at?", before she pushes off the lockers and walks away. She grabs Jewfro as she walks by him with every intent of slamming him into the lockers until an idea came to her. She pulls him into an empty classroom and offers him a deal.

"Look here loser I have a proposition for you, so shut up and listen." She glares at him with her hand on her hip. "I will tell all the jocks to lay off bullying you if you will help me do something, but no one can know what you are up to. I want you to follow Puck around, discreetly, and report back to me what he is doing and who he is doing. Got it?"

"Um, I don't think I have much choice do I?" The scared jewish boy asks in a timid voice. "But I would like one more thing since I am risking certain death here."

"What's that loser? A kiss from me? A look up my skirt?" Santana taunts him.

"Uh, no. I want a pair of Rachel Berry's panties. A pair that she has worn." The orange haired nerd speaks with more certainty in his voice with a leer in his eyes. "You want me to follow the school's biggest badass around and spy on him. I think it is a fair trade."

"Done loser. But I want video or pictures, proof or no panties. Now get to it!" Santana all but throws him out of the room. She turns and looks out the window. She has no idea who would be stupid enough to go against her for Puck. But she sure as hell was going to find out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kurt hears about what happened with Santana and Puck. The fight and how Puck reacted to Santana's rant about his sexual powers or lack of. He had hell covering up the bite mark and hickey Puck had left on his own skin before school. He had forgotten about the bruises he left on Puck. Now he just wants to avoid Puck at all costs.

He decides to step in the boy's restroom and be late for class, that way the halls would be empty and he could avoid everyone. He pushes the door open and without looking inside to make sure it was clear, he steps in locking the door. He turns to see the very person he was running from staring at him.

_Shit! Dammit! Now what? _Kurt is willing his feet to move back out the door until he sees the blood dripping off Puck's hand on to the dirty tile floor. His feet decide to move on their own, but towards the scowling jock standing by the sinks.

Kurt reaches out for Puck's hand turning the cold water on with his other hand. He takes the bloody appendage and places it under the cold running water. He hears the sharp intake of Puck's breath at the sting of pain, but Puck doesn't pull away.

He hands his bag to Puck and reaches inside of it for a small first aid kit. He places it on the ledge under the mirror. Puck places Kurt's bag on the window sill and looks at the younger teen taking care of his injured hand. He knows this is wrong but he cant bring himself to stop Kurt.

Kurt washes the blood off Puck's hand finding the open abrasions on his knuckles. He quickly cleans them with an alcohol swatch, applies some triple antibiotic crème and a couple of large band aids to cover the wounds. His hands shake the entire time but he never falters in what he is doing to the injured hand. He never looks at Puck directly, he is afraid of what he will see in his eyes again.

Once he is finished he reaches around Puck and grabs his bag off the sill, placing the first aid kit back in it. He walks to the door unlocking it and walks back out into the hallway on trembling legs. He never looks back at Puck or says a word to the older teen.

Puck watches as Kurt leaves, he wanted to thank Kurt for what he did for him, but the words wouldn't leave his dry mouth. He just stands there for a minute trying to figure out what was happening to him, before he reaches into his shirt pocket pulling out the Xanax.

He reaches for the water bottle in his back pack opening it. He places the pill on his tongue and takes a long drink of the vodka willing the drug to kick in soon so he could just forget everything. He places the water bottle back in his back pack and walks out of the restroom to head to his class.

The rest of the day is spent in a blur. He goes to his classes, but focusing is out of the question. He simply sits there sketching different things in his notebook. He always sits in the back in all of his classes so no one sees what he is really doing. He simply looks like he is taking notes.

The kids in the hallways and in his classes avoid him. They may whisper about him but no one has the guts to approach him and he is fine with that. Lunch is spent in the bleachers by the football field, where he washes down the stale sandwich from the cafeteria with the vodka in his back pack.

When the last bell sounds at the end of the day he ditches Glee and heads to the creek. He just wants to be away from everyone and everything. He stops by his house first to refill his water bottle and to grab another Xanax.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kurt's day is not so simple. He wonders why he helped Puck. He wonders why he cared the tanned jock was hurt. He knew that Puck more or less took a swing at Santana but it didn't matter when he saw the bloodied hand. Deep down he knew that Puck would never hit a girl, he was a badass not a bastard. Deep down he knows why he helped Puck too….

He spent lunch with Tina, Mercedes, Artie and Rachel. They all talked about what happened between Puck and Santana. Most of the people at the table thought he was losing his mind. Kurt discreetly text Artie to meet with him after Glee, that they needed to talk. Artie nodded to Kurt from across the table.

Glee was uncomfortable for Kurt. Puck was the focal point of conversation. Santana just laughed it off as that was how their relationship worked, rough sex was great. No one believed her though, the videos circulating school showed the rage in Puck's eyes.

Rachel kept droning on about how he needed professional help and that her therapist would be able to work wonders with Puck's emotional issues. Kurt almost laughed out loud when she said that. _If the stupid twit only knew what kind of emotional issues Puck was really dealing with, would she be so bold in her offer of help? But of course, she has two gay dads. _Kurt smiles at his own silent snide comment.

Mercedes only said that at least the stupid jock had left her best friend alone, he didn't once come after Kurt today. He just walked on by like he didn't see him.

Finn made a comment that if Puck knew what was good for him he would never bother his little brother again. Kurt wanted to punch Finn himself, little brother. _Dumbass, I am older than you_.

Even Mr. Shue made a comment about how Puck need counseling to deal with his personal issues. How he needed to go see Ms. Pillsbury and talk with her. Maybe she could help him find a good therapist.

The rest of the group; Sam, Quinn, Mike and Tina, simply agrees with everything that is being said. They don't even bother to voice their own opinions of Puck's behavior. They simply sit and let the others talk..

Kurt stands up, he has finally had enough and let's everyone know what is on his mind…..

_Excuse me! Have any of you asked him what is wrong? Have any of you been a real friend to him? Do any of you know anything about Puck outside of school? _

Finn jumps up, he cant believe that Kurt is defending Puck after all the bullying the last couple of weeks. He starts going off on Kurt….

_How can you defend the guy that has been knocking you into lockers again? How can you question us about that asshole? He has been a total douche to you, to the rest of us…He took a swing at Santana this morning…How can you defend him? _

Kurt looks Finn directly in the eyes choosing his words carefully….

_I saw the video of them and if Puck had wanted to REALLY take a swing at Santana I doubt she would still be here at school…She would be at the hospital….He hit the locker instead of her…How can I defend him? Because something is wrong with him…Something is scaring the hell out of the biggest badass of McKinley…The only time Puck lashes out is when he is frightened…I can defend him because I have done the same thing and not one of you took the time to find out what was wrong with me either….And thanks to your violent outburst yesterday he did leave me alone today…But I am not grateful to you…I don't think you really helped, I think you may have caused more damage than good Finn.._

The argument becomes more heated between Kurt, Finn and the rest of the Glee club as they all cant believe that Kurt is defending his tormentor. Everyone but Artie and Brittany, they sit quietly listening to the others yell at Kurt. When Rachel and Kurt start screaming at each other Brittany sits in Artie's lap, the screaming is hurting her ears.

Mr. Shue finally calls it quits for the day. Nothing is being accomplished except for creating ill feelings between Kurt and the group. He tells them that they will reschedule practice and for everyone to go home and cool off.

Kurt and Artie meet up at the bleachers by the football field. They talk about how Puck is acting and what they think really happened by the lockers. Artie wants to know why Kurt exploded in Glee, defending Puck to everyone.

"Artie, thanks for meeting me" Kurt offers a small smile to his new friend sitting down on the bottom row. "I sat up after we talked last night Artie and thought about what you said. None of us except for you know the real Puck. And you have only seen glimpses of Noah. You made me think about what/who made him the bullying asshole that he is now."

"It's simple Kurt. We all made him, Puck. We stopped caring about him because we were too wrapped up in our own lives. We wanted to be popular or at least not be bullied so we ignored him. My accident. You being gay. Finn wanted to be the football jock. Quinn wanted Finn and to be head Cheerio." Artie looks at Kurt wondering when Kurt fell for the older jock. "We knew what we wanted to be or what fate had decided for us to be. We also had family that cared about us, he didn't have that support system. Puck relied on his peers/jocks to help him make decisions. The wrong decisions. So Noah became Puck the badass of both McKinley Middle and High Schools."

"I saw him this morning after the hallway incident. I was going to hide out in the restroom until class started so I wouldn't run in to him. But fate really doesn't like me. Puck was already in the restroom. I wanted to run back out, but then I saw his bloody hand and my body wouldn't listen to me." Artie can hear the deeper meaning behind Kurt's words, the slight tremble in his voice.

"I took care of him Artie, I cleaned up his hand and then I walked out without saying anything to him. I didn't know what to say to him. I couldn't look him in the eyes. I just took care of him and left. I walked away from him again…" Kurt's words are full of anguish and uncertainty.

"Kurt you have to stop walking away from him or you have to stop being there for him. You are only confusing him more and causing him more pain. You know that." Artie really hates being hard on Kurt but this will not end well if he doesn't tell him exactly what he needs to hear.

"You cant just be there for a minute and then leave him alone. It's not helping him, you or anyone else for that matter. I don't think he would have actually hit Santana this morning but he got real close to losing what little bit of control he has left." Artie looks directly Kurt hoping that he is really listening to him.

"I know Artie, but…You're right…I just have to stay away from him…I just have to not care about him…That's not what I meant…" Kurt's words tumble out.

"Yeah it is Kurt. You have feelings for Puck. You are just as confused as he is. You have to admit it to yourself." Artie grabs Kurt's hand making him look at him as he speaks.

"You almost gave yourself away in the choir room. The way you defended Puck was more than just from friendship, it was from real feelings. I told you last night let him come to you….Let him figure out what he wants and you need to do the same thing."

"What if he does come to me Artie? What if he tells me he is falling for me? What if he tells me that he wants a chance with me? How do I not run away? How do I give him a chance?" The fear is real in Kurt's voice.

"That is what YOU have to figure out Kurt….Do you want to give him a chance? Do you run away? I think you both deserve a chance at real happiness. I think you are what he needs…And you need him too…But you both have to figure that out for yourselves….No one can help you do that part but each other…." Artie really does believe they would be good for each other. Noah would keep Kurt grounded and Kurt would help Noah be who he really is inside.

"Thanks Artie…I know you're right….I will do my best to stay away from Puck and to figure out what I want….Just keep an eye on him and try to make sure he is okay for me, please…" The emotions are thick in Kurt's voice and in his eyes.

"If he will let me…I'll see you tomorrow Kurt…" Artie's phone buzzes letting him know his dad is there to pick him up.

Both boys leave school and head home….Artie to make out with Brittany….Kurt to try and decide what he wants…Could he make a relationship work with either Puck or Noah? Could he forgive Puck/Noah for all the scars on his body? On his soul?


	8. The Great Divide

_Update finally…Some of you may not agree with how the Gleeks react, but what happens really does happen in real life…The social order of a high school is a delicate thing…Kept in balance by the "cool" kids….If the order is thrown off balance, turmoil ensues….That is the one thing that was drilled into our heads during the first season….A special shout out to Yuki-Chan! CPU! Utelena! You girls rock! Lets all make some noise about Kurt being Puck's boy for real on the show! Get rid of Dalton and Bland Blaine…Sorry had to have a moment there…Peace and feed me chocolate/reviews!_

Chapter 8

The Great Divide

Puck spent that afternoon just as he would the next several afternoons, taking his _**medicine**_, sitting by the creek drinking vodka from his water bottle and watching the water run by until the sunset. He would then drag his ass home for a shower and to sleep.

Sometimes he would sketch, but it was always Kurt's face that would be staring back at him on the pad. He burned each sketch except for one, a pair of hands holding on to each other. One hand was darker, larger than the other one. He kept it folded up in his back pack.

School was really just a blur. Santana had left him alone and he was grateful. He didn't want her, he didn't need to meaningless sex or the accusations that would come with his refusal to have sex with her. He had scared himself when he punched the locker beside her head, but she wouldn't shut up and told him to go back to his closet. _If she only knew what was really hiding in my closet…_

Coach Beiste said that he was off the football team if he missed anymore practices. He told her he would drop off his gear sometime soon, that he just didn't have time to play anymore and that he really didn't want to play football. He didn't stick around to answer her questions.

Mr. Shue had told him he couldn't hold his spot on New Directions for much longer and they really needed him. But then he spoiled it by saying how Puck really needed to go talk to Ms. Pillsbury about his issues. That really pissed Puck off. Puck told him he quit Glee and to take his advice and shove it. He didn't need any help, he was fine. After that day he didn't speak to Mr. Shue at school.

The only other person to attempt to talk to him was Artie. Artie approached him at lunch one day by the bleachers and told him that if he needed anyone to talk to that he would listen and he wouldn't say anything to anyone about what they talked about. Puck nodded his head at Artie and but told him "thanks, but he was fine." Artie almost argued with Puck instead he simply told him that when he was ready he would listen to him. Then he wheeled himself away.

Puck was tempted to yell at him to stop and to tell him everything, but his mouth never opened…_How do you tell another guy that you think….No scratch that…You know you are falling in love a guy? That you are doing some serious drugs and alcohol to just feel normal…To make it all go away….That you are so terrified of what you're feeling because it is wrong….Because you know as soon as you tell Artie he is going to look at you differently, like you are sick, dirty, something stuck on the bottom of his shoe…..Its better this way…I just have to forget about it all…._

No one else approached him. No one else asked him if he was okay. Everyone avoided any contact with him. He was existing in his own world of Xanax and vodka. No one noticed the dark circles under his that grew darker, the way his face held an empty expression, or the way his body seemed to hunch over farther into itself. He was slowly disappearing and he thought no one noticed it….But someone did…..

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kurt noticed Puck everyday, even if he would not look directly at the jock. He saw the physical changes and the blank expression he wore like a mask. He had heard from Artie that Puck had quit football, no explanation given except that he just really didn't want to play anymore and some of the jocks were upset over it.

Mr. Shue offered the explanation of needing time to deal with personal issues when he announced Puck quit Glee. He offered no more words than those to the class. Everyone in the room talked between themselves.

Most comments were that they really didn't need him, that his personal issues would only bring them down. Some of the Gleeks said that the true Puck was finally showing through. No one showed any interest in finding out what was going on with the troubled jock, it was just good riddance to the bad seed. At least that is how Kurt took it.

_How can these people claim to be any type of human being….They don't care that someone that has been a part of the Glee family for the last couple of years is suddenly falling apart…How can they not care about someone they have known for most of their lives? How can they let him slip through the cracks and fall into a self destructive abyss? _

Finn is sitting over there telling Rachel how they never really needed Puck to win any of the competitions, that he only joined to get some action from the girls in the club….Rachel is agreeing with every thing that is spilling out of Finn's horrible mouth….Quinn is telling Sam how this is Puck's style, if he cant get something out of it he will just walk away…Just like he did with the baby, she wouldn't put out so he walked away…_Fucking bitch! She was the reason he walked away from his child! She made the choice for him! Puck wanted his child! He wanted to be a Dad! He did what she wanted him to and then broke his heart with Sam. _Kurt just wants to rip her head off her shoulders.

Mercedes is just mumbling about how its strange Puck has just stopped being a douche to everyone once again…Like it is part of his plan….That we should all watch our backs…_I love you girl, but shut up _Kurt wants to scream…

Santana is agreeing with Mercedes…That he is up to something and we all know that it wont be good….She keeps fueling some of the conversations with little bits of sarcasm aimed at Puck…She thinks if she can help push everyone away he will have no choice but to come back to her….To her bed, to be hers again…

Mike and Tina are just sitting there holding hands neither one saying anything. Both are lost in their own thoughts. Puck and Mike were friends. Tina and Puck were just…acquaintance's more or less…because of Glee…But neither one still didn't think what the others were saying was right…It was like having a pack mentality and Puck was the prey…

It was frightening to Tina, making her wonder if something made her suddenly change would they talk about her like this? Almost like Mike sensed her thoughts, he pulls her close and tells her everything will be okay. She simply nods and lays her head on his shoulder.

Artie and Brittany asked to be excused since no one is practicing. Kurt asks the same as he is getting close to exploding on the people who were suppose to be friends of Puck's. Mike and Tina also want to leave. Mr. Shue just throws his hands up in the air and tells them to go home. Maybe everyone needs time to regroup and they will have rehearsal tomorrow.

The dividing line was being drawn with no one realizing it; down the middle of Glee. Everyone that had made comments were on one side while the ones that didn't follow the pack were on the other side. The hierarchy of school had finally entered Glee.

_**Kurt's thoughts on what was happening to Glee.**_

The next day the dividing line was showing loud and clear as the two different sides sat completely away from each other at lunch and in Glee. Mercedes had tried to talk to Kurt but he simply walked away from her. He couldn't believe that she would chose to put someone else down when she used to be on the bottom of the of the list herself and in some aspects she still was, just like the rest of them.

Kurt had always known that Finn and Quinn needed to be popular at any cost. They both thrived on the feeling of everyone bowing down to them. To being better than everyone else. To being the IT people of WMHS. They both blamed Puck for baby gate and the loss of their popularity that year, even though Puck suffered the most. No one would have anything to do with him outside of Glee. And now that was changing too.

Sam was the same way as Finn and Quinn. He wanted to be the quarter back, to date the Prom Queen, to be the Prom King. He wanted his place in the social ladder of school to be on top. He gave off being a nice guy, but he was just like the rest of the snobs.

Rachel would agree with Finn if he told her the sky was green and the grass was blue. She didn't want to lose the co-captain of the club or being the girlfriend of the quarter back when Sam wasn't being the quarter back. She was also a complete diva when it came to being the sole star of Glee.

Santana was always out for herself first. Yeah she loved singing and dancing, but she looked out for number one first. Kurt knew that about the Latino girl. But he had the feeling she was up to something more. She had kept giving info about Puck and what he could be up to next. It was like she was setting something up.

Kurt looks at the group sitting on Puck's side of the room. Tina and Mike were holding hands talking softly to each other. Artie and Brittany were discussing the new stuffed animal Brittany thought just appeared in her room overnight. It kind of scared her. Artie was reassuring the blond Cheerio that she had always had the frog and that he didn't just jump in the window.

That wasn't what was strange though. What was strange was the fact that Brittany had avoided Santana all day. There was no pinky holding or walking together. Brittany was glued to Artie in the halls, during lunch and now in Glee. She wouldn't even look at the dark skinned Cheerio. Kurt knows he needs to talk to Artie after practice.

He doesn't even bother with the other side of the room. They are all treating the rest of the club like they have some thing that they will catch. Finn was the only one besides Mercedes that had tried to talk to him this morning. Letting him know that all he had to do was let him know if Puck starting bothering him again and he would take care of it. Kurt told Finn to stay out of his business that he didn't need him protecting him from anything. Finn told him not to chose the wrong side. Walking off Kurt thought, _you are on the wrong side you homophobe bastard_.

Kurt and Artie talk after class. Brittany is there this time watching the clouds float by while the boys talk about what is happening in Glee. Neither boy is surprised by the sudden division of the club. Kurt asks Brittany what happened between her and Santana that made her not want to be friends anymore with the loud Latino girl.

_She told me I had to chose between her and Artie. That if I wanted to stay popular I had to stop seeing Artie. You all think I am stupid and I'm not. I just say whatever comes into my mind. And I told her what I thought at that moment. She is a mean spirited bitch that only wanted to cause trouble cause she was so unhappy. I told her that I really do love Artie and that I wouldn't stop seeing him even if it meant I had to stop being on the Cheerio's. She's mad at Puck right now cause he scared her and told her to stay away from him. I know he meant it, I was there. He scared me too. But she attacked him. So she is going to try and turn everyone against him so that she can be his only friend. She told me so last night._

_Puck doesn't deserve the way everyone is talking about him in Glee. He is just confused about Kurt. He loves Kurt and he doesn't think its right. I used to see him look at you Kurt, the way Artie looks at me. But I have known Puck a long time and he is scared of his feelings. That's why he went back to being mean to you, because he likes you. _

They look at Brittany with astonishment in their eyes. She basically told them what they already knew and some things they didn't, but she made complete sentences and not once did she talk about something irrelevant. Artie smiled at his girlfriend and reached for her hand.

Kurt asks Brittany if she has told anyone else what she just told them and she shakes her head no. Artie tells her that she cant tell anyone, that Puck could get hurt if the jocks found out he likes Kurt. Brittany tells them she knows this and that is why she hasn't said anything since Puck grabbed Kurt's cute ass.

Artie lets Kurt know that he talked with Puck at lunch and told him if he needed to talk that he could trust him not to say anything. But Puck told him he was fine. Artie tells Kurt that something else is going on with Puck, something they aren't seeing for themselves. Both boys and Brittany agree to keep an eye on Puck at school before they head home.

For the next few days the three keep an eye out for Puck. But Puck's routine doesn't change. He comes to school, goes to class and goes home. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't sit with anyone at lunch. He never makes eye contact with anyone.

Kurt watches Puck in the hallways and in class. He wants to say something, to reach out and hold him but he remembers what Artie told him. So he just watches until that following Friday when a note appears in his locker…..


	9. Gentle Caressess of Timid Hearts

_Lyrics are in italics and bold…All are written by Chris Daughtry…They seem to fit what Purt is going through….Thanks to everyone who reviews and to tag this story for alerts…Special shout out to Yuki-Chan, CPU, and Utena! Thanks guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter…It has been written for a while…It is what really inspired the story…Smut warning, but done tastefully I think….The title is curtesy of Yuki-Chan thanks so much my friend! Enjoy_

Chapter 9

Gentle Caresses of Timid Hearts

After a note is slipped into a Kurt's locker with the words….**MEET ME WHERE I CAN BE ME AND WE CAN BE FREE**…Kurt doesn't hesitate driving back to where he kissed his first boy…

The drive to the creek gives Puck time to think. He starts to believe it/this was a mistake, that he shouldn't have slipped the note in Kurt's locker. He grabs the vodka bottle out of his backpack when he parks his truck. He puts a CD in his stereo turning the volume up full, letting the music wash over him. After the first song he steps out of his truck walking to the creek bank.

_**Let's start over **_

_**I'll try to do it right this time around **_

_**It's not over **_

_**Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground **_

_**This love is killing me **_

_**But you're the only one **_

_**It's not over **_

_**Let's start over **_

_**Its not over, Oh yeah, yeah! **_

_**This love is killing me **_

_**But you're the only one **_

_**It's not over...**_

Kurt parks his Navigator close to Puck's truck hearing the rock music pouring out of the speakers. He's not sure who the artist is but the lyrics fit what is happening between them.

_**Shadows fill an empty heart**_

_**As love is fading, **_

_**From all the things that we are**_

_**But are not saying**_

_**Can we see beyond the stars**_

_**And make it to the dawn?**_

_**Change the colors **__**of the sky**_

_**And open up to**_

_**The ways you made me feel alive**_

_**The ways I loved you**_

_**For all the things that never died**_

_**To make it through the night, **_

_**Love will find you.**_

Puck tries to tell Kurt to leave, but he really doesn't want that, he wants Kurt to hold him, to kiss him again….Every feeling that he has tried to bury over the last few weeks are coming to the surface…So he says nothing, he just looks out over the water….The drugs and alcohol make it seem okay to him….

Kurt wants to know what is wrong with Noah, its more than just what is happening between them….The way he has been acting the last several days is scaring him more than the bullying did…The blank expressions on his face, quitting Glee, quitting football…The way he is walking around like a zombie….No emotions, no nothing showing on his face or his beautiful eyes…He sees the bottle in Puck's hand but even that doesn't explain it all…

Puck just laughs when Kurt starts questioning him…_Like I am going to tell him that the pills and vodka are helping me to cope…Well he knows I'm drinking but I sure as hell aint going to tell him about my medicine…That's my secret…My helper…_Puck sits down on the grass taking a drink from the vodka bottle.

Kurt sits beside him not caring if he ruins his designer clothing. He takes the bottle from Puck's hand and takes a big drink, never coughing, handing the bottle back to Puck. He is not going to leave again, not walk away from the one person he needs….The one person that needs him….

Puck doesn't even react to it, he merely takes the bottle from Kurt's hand and takes another drink himself. He watches Kurt out of the corner of his eye. The face that is burned into his mind, the eyes that he could lose himself in. The boy that has his heart gripped in complete terror.

Kurt's hand is resting on the ground next to Puck's, before either boy realizes it they are intertwined clutching each other, like they are drowning and maybe they are in a way. The music tells the story to both of them. They sit there for a while just holding on to each other's hand.

_**What about now?**_

_**What about today?**_

_**What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?**_

_**What if our love had never went away?**_

_**What if it's lost behind words we could never find?**_

_**Baby, before it's too late, **_

_**Baby, before it's too late,**_

_**Baby, before it's too late, **_

_**What about now**_

Puck leans over to Kurt and initiates the kiss…It is awkward and gentle…Rough chapped lips moving across soft vanilla flavored lips…Puck isn't sure what he is suppose to do, where he is suppose to put his hands…This is the second time he has kissed the same boy. He feels Kurt's hand cup his cheek, his thumb stroking across his cheekbone, he leans into the soft small hand. A groan escapes his lips at the feel of the tender touch. He doesn't think, he just feels….

Puck pulls Kurt down on top of him as he lays back on the grass. He can feel one of Kurt's legs slip in between his, nudging his knees to open. Puck can feel the hard bulge in the front of Kurt pants, but it doesn't repulse him, he knows that his own member is getting hard from Kurt's touch and the way his body feels against his own.

Kurt gently kisses Puck's lips slowly, the vodka making his body even warmer with the lust that is burning through his body. He feels Puck's tongue begin to explore his mouth, he cant help but moan at the sensations that are sparking everywhere in his body. He strokes the dark teen's Mohawk, letting his fingertips drag across the stubble that is on either side. He loves the way it is smooth and soft. He feels Puck's grip tighten on his hand while his body arches up, moaning into Kurt's mouth.

Kurt feels the way Puck's hand and arm are trembling against his back, he knows Puck is unsure of what to do… They are both frightened of what this is, what it is becoming, the feelings neither one wanted to experience with the other…But they cant stop their bodies or their hearts…Neither one wants to….

_Just touch me the way you want to Noah, you won't hurt me_…..He whispers against Puck's lips..

_Kurt, I've never done this with a…guy….I don't know what to do….Help me please_…._I want you….I need you Kurt_…._Don't let me go…Don't walk away again…._Puck quietly cries against Kurt's pale cheek. The tears silently slip down from the hazel eyes.

_**And then I crashed into you,**_

_**And I went up in flames**_

_**Could 've been the death of me,**_

_**But then you breathed your breath in me**_

_**I crashed into you,**_

_**Like a runaway train**_

_**You will consume me,**_

_**But I can't walk away.**_

Kurt raises up on his free arm looking at Puck, gently stroking his cheek wiping the tears away. He untangles his hand from Puck placing it on his chest. _Just hold on to me, hold me…..Don't be afraid of me, of this, of us_…._I'm not going anywhere Noah…As long as you want me, I will be here for you…._Kurt knows what he is saying is the truth. He is falling for Puck/Noah and he isn't going to be another person that fails the fragile jock…

_**Somehow, I couldn't stop myself.**_

_**I just wanted to know how it felt**_

_****_

Too strong, I couldn't hold on,

__Yeah, yeah

Now I'm just tryin' to make some sense

Out of how and why this happened

Where we're heading, there's just no knowing,

yeah yeah.

He gently kisses Puck feeling his warm arms circle his body his large hands timidly sliding across his back resting on his shoulders. His lips move to the tanned neck breathing in the male scent that can only be Puck's. A cross between musk and woods, all male to Kurt's senses.

Puck feels his body respond, the way his cock twitches with each tender kiss Kurt places on his sensitive neck. The small pale hand that is clutching his shirt, not letting him go. The fear is being replaced entirely by desire and something else, a feeling he has never felt before, a feeling of being complete.

_**From your face, your eyes**_

_**Are burning to me**_

_**You saved me, you gave me**_

_**Just what I need**_

_**Oh , just what I need**_

He lets his hands wander freely, moving slowly across the muscled planes of Kurt's back up into his soft dark hair. He threads his fingers through the thick tresses holding him in place at his neck. He buries his nose into Kurt's hair inhaling the soft scent of his shampoo, groaning into his ear as Kurt begins to bite his pulse point.

Kurt is so alive right now, his body being touched, held by Noah. He hears Puck moan when he starts suckling on his neck, letting his tongue flick across flesh in between his lips. He feels Noah fist his hair holding on, holding him in place. He begins to rock his hips against Noah feeling the aroused teen's hand cup his ass pulling him tighter against him.

Kurt groans against Puck's neck, he begins to kiss a wet trail down to the first fastened button of his shirt. With nimble fingers he begins to undo the buttons opening the shirt until it falls to either side of Puck's hard dark chest. His fingers tracing the outlines of muscle that is etched into Puck's body. He feels the quivers that shake Puck's body as his fingertips ghost over his nipples. He hears the growl deep in the chiseled chest as he pulls the nipple ring in between his lips, his tongue playing with it.

Puck's body arches up into Kurt at the feel of his nipple ring being sweetly tortured by lips and a slick tongue. He can feel his cock weeping inside of his too tight jeans. He pulls Kurt's shirt free of the skinny jeans and lets his hands wander over the smooth soft skin underneath. He can feel Kurt gasp at the skin on skin contact, moaning against his chest. He is shocked at his own need to feel Kurt's bare skin against his own.

Kurt begins to kiss a trail down the well defined abs letting his hand graze the button of Puck's jeans. He feels Puck stiffen at the touch and he pulls back for a moment.

_Noah don't be afraid…Just lay back and let me take care of you, give you what you need right now…I need this as much as you do_…._I want to do this Noah_…Kurt looks up into the hazel eyes that are full of fear once again.

_Kurt I'm scared of what I am feeling…It feels so good, but a part of me…Its still wrong…its not how it is suppose to be…Kurt I'm so fucked up…So fucking scared of you, me, this, us…It hurts…But I don't want to stop feeling this…I thought I did, but I don't….Just go slow with me, I may have been with a lot of chicks, but none of them have ever made me feel like this…I've never been afraid, until you….Please Kurt…._Puck says exactly what is in his heart, what he is really feeling. The pain and fear is laced into every word he speaks to Kurt. The once sure Puck being replaced with a frightened Noah.

Kurt heard the change Puck/Noah was going through in the tremble of his voice; the hurt, the fear, loud and clear in a whisper of a voice. He reaches up and kisses Noah, _yes that is who is he now_, so tenderly that a tear falls from his own blue eyes. He pulls back looking into the hazel eyes, stroking the place where Noah's heart lays beneath.

_Noah, I would never do anything that would hurt you….I would never do anything that you don't want to do…I am as afraid as you are….I have never been with anyone…I have never been touched by anyone until you…This, us, you, scares the hell out of me too…But I don't want to stop feeling this either…I don't want to stop this…This is natural…Let me show you…Let me touch you, give you release_…Kurt whispers the words to Noah as he places soft tender kisses all over Noah's face. He feels Noah nod as he captures his mouth for a deep kiss. He feels Noah's shaking hands slip back under his shirt making him moan.

Kurt traces patterns along the planes of muscle, feeling Noah relax more at his touch. He lets his fingers ghost over the band of Noah's jeans, stopping at the button waiting for a sign that he wanted him to stop. When Noah pulls him tighter against him, he lets his hand slip down and palm the massive hardness, gently stroking Noah through the rough material.

Puck cant help the way his body bucks with each stroke of Kurt's palm. He almost loses it in his pants again, but Kurt pulls away from him. He looks up into the bluest eyes feeling his heart hammer against his chest. He can feel Kurt's fingers undoing the button of his jeans, feeling the zipper slide down. His breath hitches in his throat as Kurt's small hand pulls him free of his pants.

Kurt gently handles Noah's cock, letting his fingers use the precum to coat the large hard shaft. He explores the soft velvet skin, feeling each vein pulse from his touches. He grips it harder, slowly pumping, feeling Noah's hips buck in time with his hand. As more precum leaks out, Kurt lets his thumb circle the head of Noah's member letting his nail trace the weeping slit, eliciting a full blown name growl from Noah.

_KURT! … Oh God! …Kurt please….PLEASE! _Puck has never felt anything this intense, yet tender. His mind, body and heart are so full of emotions. He cant stop the feelings. Most of all the feeling of being whole…Kurt's hand working him, the soft murmurs against his skin telling him to let go….It has never felt like this with anyone…Noah's back arches off the grass, his hips thrusting hard against Kurt's soft firm hand. He grips Kurt's back, holding on while his world explodes into a bright flash of light. He explodes over Kurt's hand and his own stomach. Kurt strokes him until the last of his orgasm is over.

Kurt lays his head down on Noah's chest, listening to his heartbeat slow down from the rush of his orgasm. He strokes Noah's abdomen with small circles, his fingertips soothing the now sated teen's body. He can still feel the slight tremors that course through Noah's body, the lingering after effects of the orgasm.

Puck feels reality settling back down as he looks at Kurt through his dark lashes. He wraps his arms around the smaller teen's body, pulling him closer, needing to feel the connection of their bodies, of their hearts. _Yeah, I am falling for the soprano, the pale body that just made me feel so complete. I don't want to let him go…I don't want to let this go…_

Puck knows that Kurt is still hard, he can feel Kurt's arousal against his leg. He rolls over holding on to Kurt so that he is underneath him. The smaller teen squeaks at the sudden shift looking up into Puck's warm eyes. Puck simply kisses him, he breaks the kiss to be honest with Kurt.

_I don't know if I am going to do this right, but I want to touch you….To learn what makes you moan my name, to scream my name…What makes you happy…Try to make you feel what I just did….I know that I have jerked myself off, but I have never touched another guy's dick before….I never wanted to until you… _His voice is hesitant speaking those words. _You are my first too Kurt…The first guy I have ever wanted to kiss, to touch, to hold hands with…The first person that I can't stop thinking about no matter how hard I try….Tell me if I am doing this wrong…._

He grabs the bottom of Kurt's shirt and tugs it up, over his back and finally over his head. He tosses the offending garment to the side. He feels Kurt shudder at the exposure of his skin to the air and grass. He looks at the smaller teen's body, letting the breath he had no idea he was holding out.

_**Just say the word and I'll be running fast as I can to you**_

_**No there's nothing I won't do for you right now**_

_**And afterwards after making it through all the stormy weather**_

_**We can put the pieces back together**_

_**So come on back to me, come on back to me**_

_**Out of everything you've said, I still have the urge to say**_

_**Come on back to me, come on back to me **__**yeah**_

_**Come on back to me, Come on back to me,**_

_**Come on back to me, yeah**_

Noah's POV

My hands explore his soft smooth chest. Slide across each plane of muscle never stopping, never being interrupted by the bump of a breast. His skin is white as snow, a beautiful creamy white. Softer than any girls I have ever felt. I start kissing a trail from his cheek down his neck. I can feel the slight shiver of his body as my thumbs circle his nipples, making them stand out in tight buds. I hear the moan that escapes Kurt's lips as my tongue traces one of his nipples, flicking across it. I can feel him roll his hips against my thigh, the hardness needing friction. I look up to see blue eyes staring into my own, searching them…I don't want to label/explain what I am feeling…I just want/need this…I need Kurt…I want this with Kurt…

I know I should be freaked out….I have been freaked out for so long now…But this…This feels right….Yeah, I'm scared…But all I have to do is look into those clear blue eyes and its all okay…I like touching his body…Feeling him squirm under me when I touch him just right…I love when he moans my name, **my real name**….The way his lips taste, the way he kisses me…The way I feel when he touches me….My skin is alive with every touch of his hand….

Kurt looks into Noah's dark hazel eyes seeing warmth, curiosity, wonderment, need…He was so afraid he would see repulsion, disgust…He can feel Noah's calloused hand grazing across his skin, feel the softness of his palms in contrast to the rough pads on his finger tips…. _Maybe clothes are overrated_…The feel of Noah's touch is intoxicating to him. This is what he has craved for so long, to honestly be touched with tenderness…. To be wanted, to be desired…..For someone to want to touch him like this…The joy flowing through his body is only surpassed by the desire.

Kurt reaches up and pulls Noah's lips to his, for a deep soul rendering kiss. Both tongues moving together to a music only their bodies hear. He gently takes Noah's hand from the band of his jeans and slips it down to the hard bulge, cupping it with both of their hands. Kurt's hips arch into the touch as both boys moan in to the kiss.

He can feel Noah pull his hand away and whimpers until he feels the calloused finger tips struggling with the button of his too tight jeans. He tries to help Noah, only to have his hand pushed away. There is a determined look on Noah's face as he struggles with the button. Noah finally looks up at Kurt…_I don't know what I am doing wrong_….Kurt uses both of his hands to undo the button, leaving the zipper for Noah…He watches as Noah's hand lingers over his belly button.

Noah's hand hesitantly moves down to the zipper sliding it down, opening Kurt's tight jeans. His hand is shaking as he reaches out and traces the outline of Kurt's dick with his fingers, watching it jump at his touch in the soft boxers. He hears Kurt moan _**his name **_as he slips his hand under the waistband of the boxers. His fingertips brush the head feeling the slick precum, he slides his thumb across weeping slit. Kurt bucks up into Noah's hand saying, _please Noah touch me… _He can feel Kurt's nails digging into his shoulders…Kurt's head is thrown back against the grass, his eyes glazed over with passion…

Noah pushes the boxers down and out of the way freeing Kurt's aching member. He looks at it. It is smaller than his own, but larger than he thought it would be….He closes his eyes feeling the soft skin against the palm of his hand…He wraps his fingers around the shaft making a fist and begins to slowly pump Kurt…He pumps faster when he hears Kurt moaning his name over and over…He can feel Kurt start to swell bigger, he opens his eyes watching Kurt's face and his own hand…A warmth spreads through his chest causing his heart to skip a beat…

He leans down and kisses Kurt just as the smaller boy explodes over both their bodies…He swallows the loud cry that leaves Kurt's beautiful mouth as he falls over the edge of his orgasm….Kurt clings to Noah as his body crashes against the waves, burying his face in Noah's neck…He gently continues to stroke Kurt until the last of the waves of pleasure subside….

Both boys cling to each other, hands gripping each other's bodies. Neither one says anything. They lay there in the soft grass just holding each other. The sun slowly starts to set before either boy tries to move away from the other.

Noah is the first to move. He slowly unwraps his arms from around Kurt. He gently pulls Kurt with him as he stands. Both boys adjust their clothing and Noah leads Kurt to the side of the creek. He kneels down and begins to wash the residue of their intimate moment from his body with the fresh cold creek water.

Kurt squeals as Noah splashes the cold water on his bare chest. He kneels down beside Noah and begins to cautiously splash, until Noah takes a handful of the cold liquid and drenches Kurt chest. Kurt shrieks in surprise and outrage, but stops his rant. For the first time in many years Kurt hears Noah laugh, a hard full belly laugh. He straddles Noah waist, pushing the older teen back on the grass and kisses him.

For the first time in, Kurt really couldn't remember, his smile reached his own eyes as he looked at the boy who now held his heart in the palm of his rough calloused hand…


	10. We Just Are

_Thanks to everyone that has reviewed this story! CPU..Utena..aedy…Yuki-Chan…You guys make it worth writing it….This chapter is kinda filler and a little bit of a cliffy….The next chapter will start a horrible journey for both of the boys…I will say that what happens will come with warnings and it will not be what you expect…So please keep reviewing and I hope that you enjoy this chapter…Peace my friends_…

Chapter 10

We Just Are

They both looked at each other in wonder. Neither boy wanted the afternoon to end but it had when the last of the sun rays were fading to night. Kurt leaning his head on Noah's shoulder as they walked back to their car and truck hand in hand. Quiet words were spoken between them….

_Noah call me or text me when you get home so I don't worry about you…I mean, if you want to you can let me know if you made if home safe…Or if you want I can call you when I get home…I just, I need to know you are okay_…Kurt scuffs his shoe on the gravel before he looks up into the hazel eyes that are full of warmth and something else…_Love maybe?_

_That's kind of nice….Someone to worry about me, that __**you **__worry about me….I'm sorry for everything Kurt, the way I treated you the last few weeks….Hell the way I treated you for years…I never meant to hurt you, physically hurt you….I promise I will never hurt you again…_Noah's eyes showing remorse and pain at the physicality in the memories. He wishes he could take all of it back, make it that it never happened but he cant…

_That is something we have to work through Noah….I know why you did it now and before….And it seems strange that I have fallen for my tormentor…But if we both try we can make it through all of the bad stuff from our pasts…_Kurt strokes Noah's cheek, feeling the older teen nuzzle into the his hand. _I want to be with you Noah…Don't forget that or this…_Kurt reaches up and kisses Noah slowly, gently. He can feel Noah's hands circle his small waist, wrapping around his body, holding him close.

_I don't want to let you go Kurt…I want to be with you…Whatever it takes, I want this with you….I want this chance with you…._Noah dips his head down letting his forehead rest on Kurt's. _I will text you when I get home….Thank you…._

_For what Noah? _Kurt looks up into the umber eyes, losing himself for a moment.

_For wanting me…For caring about me….For worrying about me…For being here with me…._Noah kisses Kurt softly before letting him go and opening the door to his Navigator. He watches Kurt touch his lips with his hand and smile.

Kurt steps into his Navigator wishing he could tell Noah to come home with him but he knows Finn is there and it would not be a good idea to put the jocks in the same room together. He simply waves goodbye at boy who is now…What? His boyfriend? His friend? Both?

Noah walks to his truck and gets in. He watches Kurt drive away smiling at what he feels in his heart. _This just might work….._He texts Kurt when arrives home. He asks him if he would like to meet back at the creek tomorrow. Kurt's texts back that he can be there after lunch. Noah tells him he will be there waiting on him. Kurt's response is good, but to leave the vodka at home. He will bring a picnic lunch with him. Noah tells him no problem that he doesn't need the alcohol anymore, but he cant tell him about the pills. He's not ready for that yet. He still has to get through school. He says goodnight and for the first time in what feels like years, he sleeps deep and peacefully.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

They spend the rest of the weekend at the creek talking, laughing, crying, forgiving, holding on to each other….Kisses are stolen and given….Tickle spots are found on each boy….They make out but nothing more than kissing and holding each other….This time is more about finding each other without the sex and alcohol….Noah is still taking the Xanaxs but not drinking around Kurt….

Kurt is leaning back against Noah's chest sitting between the shy older teen's legs, holding the hand that is resting on his side…._Noah, are we…I mean I know I am falling for you…What are we?_? Kurt is scared of the answer but he needs to hear the answer.

Noah takes a deep breath before he answers Kurt. He knew Kurt would want to know what this was and he was afraid he wouldn't like the answer. _We just are Kurt…I don't want to label this, I just know that I need you…That I want to be with you…I know I'm falling for you too…But I'm not ready for the public thing yet….Can it be enough for you, for us to just be? To be together like this? _Noah buries his face in Kurt's hair.

_Yes it's enough for now Noah. I don't want you to suffer the way I have at school or in public. The jocks at school would be far worse on you because you used to be one of them…You were their leader for a long time…It would be dangerous for you…_Kurt kisses the back of Noah's hand that he is holding. It may not have answered his question completely but Noah was honest and that is what mattered the most to Kurt. _He's falling for me too! _Kurt wants to sing it out loud….

Noah pulls Kurt back tight against his chest, just holding him. He isn't used to someone worrying or caring about him. A warmth spreads through his heart at the thought of the tiny soprano being there for him.

Their routine continues even when they go back to school on Monday. They text each other at night and during school. Both boys know that they cant really acknowledge each other at school, but they can text one another. Just say hi and that they miss each other. As soon as the bell sounds for last period they both are out the doors heading to where they can be with each other.

Kurt lets Artie know what is going on at school and Artie is happy for them both. He has noticed a change in Puck, nothing that anyone else would see but it is there. Artie tells Kurt to be careful, not to let anyone else know what is going on between them. Artie isn't the only one that knows though.

A certain Hummel tow truck spotted a certain Navigator parked at Elam's Mill Creek while out making a tow call. Beside it was a certain old Chevy truck. Burt heard his son scream and started out of his truck with the intent of murdering one Noah Puckerman with his bare hands until he saw both boys.

He stopped dead in his tracks. Kurt was running from Puckerman holding the kids shirt high in his hand laughing. _My son is laughing, really laughing. _Puckerman smiling like Kurt was his whole world, caught his son in a tender embrace, swinging him around to face him.

Burt had never really wanted to see Kurt kiss another boy but he did that day. And yeah it was kinda gross to him but he had accepted Kurt being gay a long time ago and knew someday this would happen. But to happen with Noah Puckerman? The kid that has tormented Kurt for years being his first, _deep breath_, boyfriend? But as Burt watched he realized something…

He actually saw the tenderness between the two boys. The way Kurt smiled, _it wasn't fake, it was real, _at Puckerman. The way Puckerman kissed Kurt's nose when the kiss was over. And it wasn't one of those, let's see how far I can stick my tongue down your throat kisses either. _Thank God! _Just a slow gentle kiss. Burt walked back to his truck and knowing that Kurt was where he wanted to be and he left. He never said a word to Kurt. He would wait for him to talk about it.

_Yet again someone else has been watching them too…._


	11. Destruction Of A Soul

**This was by far the hardest thing I have written to date….I actually cried writing some parts of it…I will warn all readers…This is a hate crime being examined, being described in this chapter…It is not easy to write and it will not be easy to read….I spent several nights researching the topic and I decided to make it as realistic as possible….The words and descriptions may offend you…If it does I apologize in advance….But please stick with me as the whole story unfolds…BUT REMEMBER WARNING FOR GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS AND SITUATIONS! THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT REVIEWS AND TO YUKI FOR BEING A GOOD LISTNER AND TITLE PICKER….PEACE EVERYONE**

Kurt is sitting in his first period class just after the bell signals school to begin. Mercedes, Finn, and Mike are the members in Glee that share this class with him. He is smiling this morning, Noah gave him a nickname last night. Baby Blue. He said it was because of the color of Kurt's eyes. _The eyes that he could lose himself into no problem. Eyes that would never lie to him…_

Kurt had text Noah before school but he hadn't heard from him yet. But that wasn't unusual, Noah was not a morning person. He normally didn't text him back until he got to school. Kurt wasn't worried about Noah…..Then his phone buzzed in his pants pocket…..

It was a video from Noah. Kurt kept his phone under his desk as he hit the okay button on his screen to open it. As the video began to play, Kurt's scream mixed with the scream Noah was emitting in the video.

The whole class turned to look at Kurt who just kept staring at the screen with his mouth open. The video was ripping Kurt's world apart. The screams kept coming out of the speaker on his phone and then the words of _**how do you like your boyfriend now**_ eerily sounded out in the now silent classroom.

The words seemed to bring Kurt out of his trancelike state, he started punching his screen stopping the video and calling the only other person that could help him, his Dad. He was ignoring the teacher, the other Gleeks, the other students who were shouting at him. He just wanted his daddy to make this go away, to tell him it wasn't happening.

Kurt jumps up from his desk and starts to run out of the classroom door as his father answers the phone. _Daddy, please, I need you…No I'm not okay…Please Daddy Noah is hurt…Please meet me at the football field…Please I think they…Oh God Daddy I think he's dead…Please hurry!_

Mike Chang was the first person out the door after Kurt. He heard what Kurt had said about Noah, dead, and the football field. He passed Kurt and kept running towards the football field. He called Tina while he was running and said for her to get Artie and Brittany down to the field it was bad…

Finn was next out the door followed by the rest of the class. He didn't understand why Kurt was so upset over Puck being hurt, the guy had attacked Kurt. Finn thought Kurt should be happy that Puck got what was coming to him. He shouldn't be calling his dad for help and then running off to the field like Puck was something special.

By this time most of the school, thanks to cell phones, had heard about Kurt's melt down in class and that he was headed to the football field; they flooded out of the doorways. Teachers lost control of their classes as the students started running to the football field to see what was going on, even Figgins and Sylvester couldn't stop mob in the hallway.

Mike Chang was throwing up as Kurt reached the football field, between the running and the sight in front of him, Mike lost his breakfast.

Kurt saw Noah and started screaming no over and over.

Mike told himself he had to get it together and help Puck. He heard a truck approaching as he was trying in vain to untie the rope from the goal post, he turned to see Burt Hummel's tow truck plowing up the field to where they were.

It seemed as if everyone from the school was at the football field or running to it. Most of the kids were taking pictures and pointing at the battered body hanging in front of them. No one offered or tried to help Puck or the people that were trying to save his life.

Burt Hummel knew it was bad, it had been years since his son called him Daddy. He didn't even hesitate as he jumped into the tow truck and with tires squealing headed to the football field. His one thought, they went after Kurt's boyfriend instead of Kurt and that would hurt Kurt more than if they had beat up Kurt themselves. Sick bastards…(His shop was only a few minutes from the school.)

Burt Hummel didn't waste time opening the gate of the football field normally, he drove his truck straight through the closed and locked gate knocking it off its hinges, he could hear his son screaming in the distance. The sight that greeted Burt made him push the gas pedal to the floor of his truck not caring if he ruined the field.

Noah Puckerman was hanging from a cross that was suspended over the goal post He had been tied to a cross made out of two by fours. He had literally been crucified, his wrists and ankles strapped down with rope. His naked torso was covered with paint in anti semantic and anti gay slurs. Kike. Fag. Homo. Jesus Killer was spray painted on the grass of the in zone. ._**Oh dear God!**_

His son was clinging to Noah's legs sobbing and screaming for someone to help him. Burt quickly told Mike to hold his legs as he cut Noah and the cross down. He saw Finn and told him to help Mike with Noah.

Finn didn't want to help and if Burt knew the truth he would leave Puck where he was at, Puck deserved it. But he looked around at all the students that had now gathered on the field and knew he had no choice but to help Burt. He helped Mike set Puck down on the ground after Burt cut the rope that was holding Puck and the cross up.

Artie, Tina, and Brittany had made it to the field as Burt Hummel was cutting the rope on the goal post. All three let out a garbled scream when they saw Puck's body hanging there. Brittany was clutching Tina's hand shaking her head no. Artie started crying he knew Puck was dead from all the blood that was covering his body.

Mercedes had fallen to her knees at the sight and started praying to God. She asked for him let Puck to be okay. She felt her own hot tears scalding her face as she said the prayer her mother would say with her every night. By the end of the prayer she was sobbing uncontrollably into her hands.

Sam was holding a hysterical Quinn who kept screaming _it's not real, it's not real_. Sam was having a hard time keeping her from running up to where Puck was being cared for. He kept whispering softly to her that Puck would be okay. And Sam thought to himself _he had to be okay_.

Coach Beiste was there at that point telling Artie to call 911 for an ambulance and the police. He heard Coach Beiste yelling at him and he reached for his phone trying to calm his voice…She wasn't a very religious person but what she saw in front of her made her pray for Noah Puckerman to be alright, to just be alive.

Will Shuester was trying to work his way through the crowd with Ms. Pillsbury when he happened to glance at a students phone seeing the picture of Puck. It made his skin crawl. _Who could do that to someone? _He got to the front of mob and started telling the students to go back to class as he looked at Burt Hummel taking care of Puck.

Coach Sylvester had arrived and started barking orders that no one was listening to until Tina and Brittany started running for the locker room after blankets and towels. Bringing them back, handing them to Burt Hummel.

He tells Mike to keep Kurt back while he checks on Noah. The young jock is covered in blood, from his face to his legs. The slurs looked like something from a horror movie, the blood had left red rivulets' through the black lettering. He takes the blanket covering Noah's cold pale body. He finds a weak pulse hearing the sirens getting closer. _Please let them get here soon…The boy is barely holding on…_

Kurt wrenches free from Mike and kneels down beside Noah. He gently strokes the blood soaked Mohawk telling to him hang on, that he loves him and he cant leave him. Kurt makes a gagging sound as he looks at Noah's hand. The hand that he held just last night, the hand that loved to find his most sensitive ticklish spot, the hand that was the first touch of a boy…._Oh my….They nailed his hands to the wood…They nailed his hands to the wood…._

The ambulance finally arrives and after several minutes and help from some bolt cutters from Burt's truck, Noah is freed from the cross. They load him in the ambulance and Burt puts Kurt in the ambulance with his boyfriend. The EMT's had never seen something like this before, this was their first hate crime scene. Both would have nightmares for weeks….

The police wanted statements from everyone and to question anyone that was involved in the crime. Burt Hummel told them that they could get their statements at the hospital as that was where they were heading. He loaded up Mike, Tina, Artie, Brittany into his truck cab telling the kids to hold on as he sped away to the ER. He told Finn to meet him there, that Kurt would need him and so would Noah. No one tried to stop them.

They arrived a couple of minutes after the ambulance, all of them piling into the waiting room looking for Kurt. They spotted him arguing with a nurse about being in the trauma room with Noah. Burt gently pulled his son to the side and told him to let the doctors do their job. The nurse thanked Burt and walked back to the trauma room.

Mike, Tina, Artie, and Brittany tried to keep Kurt from losing his mind. He kept pacing and bursting out in tears. Muttering about how Noah needed him back there with him. Burt kept telling him that the doctors would let them know something soon.

The other Gleeks showed up over the next hour. Mercedes had ridden with Sam and Quinn, all three could not believe that this was happening to someone that they knew. Quinn was staring off into space clutching the cross around her neck.

Rachel and Finn showed up after them. Rachel talking nonstop to her fathers on the phone letting them know that Puck would need the name of their lawyer so that he could protect himself. The hate crime really hit home for her. One of her dad's was gay and Jewish. They told her to let Puck know whatever he needed they would make sure he got it.

Finn was simply being there offering little to the conversations watching everyone being so concerned over an asshole like Puck. Puck hurt everyone he ever came into contact with, Quinn, Beth, Kurt, bullying the Gleeks and Puck had hurt him too. So what if Puck was laying beat up in the ER, that was what he told him would happen to him if he didn't leave Kurt alone. Finn was a man of his word.

The doctor finally came out asking for any family members of Noah Puckerman. When Burt stepped forward the doctor asked him if he was Burt Hummel. Burt told him yes that his son was dating Noah Puckerman. The doctor asked to speak to him in private…Burt followed him into a small alcove located across the hall from the waiting room….

Mr. Hummel we contacted his mother and I am afraid the response was not what we wanted or expected from a mother. She said to _**let someone else take care of the bastard, that she didn't have time to deal with his shit**_.

Burt could only stare at the doctor. He could never say something like that about Kurt. How could anyone, a mother, say something like that about their own child? He looks at the doctor, _I am that someone else. I will take full responsibility for the boy._

_I thought you might_, the doctor answers. _We have contacted Child Services and asked them to step in and appoint a temporary guardianship to someone, I will be more than happy to tell them you will do it. We have also followed all police protocol in regards to documenting his injuries and photographing them. In all honesty Mr. Hummel, this is my first hate crime. And it makes me sick to my stomach what the kid has gone through…_

_The boy has literally been tortured, the worst injuries are seven stitches to the right side of his cranium and they took a box cutter to his lower abdomen, carving the word faggot and a swastika into his skin. The carvings will be with him the rest of his life, I'm sorry. We had to give him a unit of blood and he was completely dehydrated when he arrived in the ER. He is on limited pain medication due to the concussion. We will be able to handle his pain better tomorrow. _

_His right arm was pulled out of socket, we put it back in place. The lesser wounds are to his hands, wrists, ankles, bruising to his chest and back and four cracked ribs. The injuries to his hands were minimal, no nerve endings were damaged by the nails. The young man is extremely lucky to be alive. _

_The nurses are preparing to transfer him to a private room. It should only take about fifteen minutes and your son will be able to visit him soon. Noah has been asking for you if you would like to see him. He is in and out of consciousness so please don't stay long. _

Burt thanks the doctor for taking care of Noah and for allowing him to be Noah's family member. The doctor shakes his hand and shows Burt where Noah is resting.


	12. Thought I Knew You

_To start this chapter off, I would like to apologize for the miss spelling of the word Semitic…I am truly sorry for that…I am also sorry if I offended anyone…I wanted this to be realistic as I stated in the last chapter….We watch the media follow the crime, but we never really get to see the aftermath….Nor do we get to have insight into the reasons behind the crime…Fear is most common the reason, fear of something or someone that is different from us….People that we thought we really knew, we never actually knew them at all…The monsters that we all keep hidden in our souls, sometimes they do show themselves….So please follow this story….And please as Brittany would say stop the violence and the hate…._

**Chapter 12**

**Thought I Knew You**

While his father is with Noah's doctor, Kurt's friends begin to tell him about Coach Sylvester's meltdown after the ambulance left. They hope it will make him feel better. Kurt listens as Sam and Mercedes try to sound like Sue Sylvester, but it is the words they repeat that makes him really listen to them. Everyone but Finn who stares off into space.

**What Coach Sylvester says to the students on the football field….**

_**I want everyone's attention NOW! I want everyone of you to put your damn phones in your pockets and to stop talking people! I want a moment of silence for what we all saw just a few minutes ago!**_

After several silent moments from the students and the police officers'…. Sue begins to speak again….Anger, grief, and tears fill her voice….

_**I want each and every one of you to look at the people standing next you, around you. I am guessing that you think they are your friends or that they would not harm you….You think that they would never betray you, persecute you for your beliefs or what your sexuality is….You all are WRONG! **_

_**The person next to you could hate you enough to hurt you…They may not show it to your face but inside they would like nothing better than to make you suffer because you are different from them…You may not dress like them, you may not talk like them, you may not be the same religion or to them you may like the wrong sex….But they notice that you are not like them, that you are different and they hate you for it….They hate you enough maybe to want to hurt you….They will hurt you and you will have no one to blame but yourselves after this debacle….Because you allowed it to continue…Because you didn't stand up for someone or yourself….**_

_**These people/bullies are cowards….They hate because they refuse to accept something or someone that is different…They want to destroy it or make it/them become what they are…Scared cowards! And those of you who stood by this morning and did nothing are just as bad people! **_

_**This is high school people…Your adult lives start here…The way you behave here is the starting point of how you will act as adults…And from what we all just witnessed, that is one fucking scary thought….Wake up people! Start making a difference and stop this hatred, stop the violence that has entered our school full force today! **_

_**Noah Puckerman ran this school, he was the epitome of being a badass mother who didn't let anyone get the upper hand on him….But that changed last night….I know it took several cowards to take down the mighty Puckerman….The hate slurs painted on him, on the grass shows the ignorance of the cowards…I respected Noah Puckerman, he didn't bow down to anyone! He could part the hallways better than I could some days….So I promise you all this….**_

_**I will find out who did this and I will personally make sure that everyone involved will get a cell with Bubba at the state pen! I will make sure you find out what it is like to be hated yourselves…I will hunt you down and I will make it my life's mission to create the same hell you just created for Puckerman, if he lives….You all better hope and pray that he lives because if he doesn't I will take my vengeance out on all of you for failing him, for failing yourselves…Now anyone that knows anything, anything at all come and see ME! For once in your miserable lives stand up for someone and yourselves…**_

Sue Sylvester doesn't notice the tears that are raging down her cheeks…All she can see is Noah Puckerman hanging there….She meant every word she said about him….She did respect the young man….She knew he had been a bully but he had changed since the baby, since joining hair product boy's Glee club….But he still walked his own path…At least she thought he did until she saw the words painted on his chest…Those words hurt her very core, not because it meant he was gay, but because he kept it hidden away from the world. But she understood why now….Sue prayed for the first time in what seemed like forever, asking God to let Puckerman live and to let him get through the hell that was waiting for him….She walked away back to her office, she needed time to think, time to plan how she could find the cowards….

The students stand there in silence watching the mighty Coach Sylvester walk away. They know what she says is true. No one had ever seen the Coach cry before or speak with such feeling about something or someone. The students and the police officers had no doubt that she meant every word she said….

_**Back at the hospital….**_

Kurt was crying by the time Sam and Mercedes finished Coach Sylvester's speech. He had always thought she was a cold heartless bitch, but the words she spoke showed a completely different side of the Coach. He looked around at his friends, everyone was crying silently, except for Finn. Kurt knew the boy didn't like to cry in public so he didn't think anything was out of place.

Kurt watched as his dad followed the doctor to talk to him. He wanted to go, to hear what the doctor said, but one look from the older Hummel made him stay put….

_**After talking with the doctor….**_

Burt Hummel followed the doctor to the curtain that kept Noah's privacy. Burt was a tough guy in every way except for his son. Kurt was the one weakness Burt had and to know that the kid behind the curtain had been tortured and nailed to a makeshift cross because he was seeing Kurt, was ripping him apart inside. The doctor pulled the curtain back and Burt kept his emotions in check the best he could.

Burt walked to the side of Noah gently saying his name. He watched as terrified eyes flickered open to meet his. The boy was a mess of bandages, rope burns, bruises. Burt tried to calm Noah….

_You're safe Noah….You are at the hospital…Your friends are here and Kurt is waiting outside to see you….But you are safe now….I wont let anyone hurt you…._Burt sees the tears in Noah's eyes and the pain that is etching his face.

_K-k-kurt is okay?_ Noah's voice harsh and breaking with the words. _M-mr. H-hum-mel, K-kurt's n-next. They a-are g-going t-t-to h-hurt him wor-worse. P-please…._

_Shhh….Noah, Kurt is right outside….I promise you he is safe…I wont let the bastards get him….Finn is with him, he wont let anything happen to his step brother… or you either…_Burt sees absolute terror wash over Noah's face when he mentions Finn's name. He watches as Noah starts struggling with the covers, trying to get up. _Noah, son, you have to lay still….Please everything is going to be okay…I promise you Noah…._

_H-he wa-was there! F-finn was th-there! I-I b-begged him t-to hel-help me…H-he j-just w-walked a-away…H-he l-left m-me th-there! _Noah was hoarsely screaming at Burt, his voice all but gone. He had to make Burt understand what happened and to protect Kurt. The pain from his injuries making him collapse against Burt, sobbing into the man's shirt.

The doctor hearing the commotion told the nurse on duty to give Noah something stronger to help him calm down. The doctor couldn't sedate Noah due to the head injury but he could help to keep him a little bit calmer. The nurse administered the medication through Noah's IV as Burt held on to the broken boy until his sobs subsided and he relaxed into Burt's arms.

Burt Hummel to say the least was a strong man. He played football. He raised his son alone after his high school sweetheart had died of cancer. He owned a garage. He made it through a heart attack that was suppose to kill him. So why now did he feel like the life had just been sucked out of him hearing the words spoken by Noah. Why did they ring true in his ears….

He remembers the look on Finn's face when he said to help Mike get Noah down. The look he had on his face when Kurt kneeled down beside Noah begging him not to leave him…The fag comment made in the basement last year…The look on Finn's face when he found out he was marrying Carole…The way he just stood there in the waiting room, he wouldn't even comfort Kurt….._**Oh fuck no!**_

Burt Hummel gently eased Noah's body back against the pillows, silently promising Noah that no one, **absolutely no one** would hurt Kurt or him either. He had never been so full of rage, tears falling down his reddened cheeks. He storms out to the waiting room.

He spots Finn talking to Rachel in the hallway, he ignores Kurt's questions as he heads straight for Finn. He grabs the front of Finn's jacket and slams him into the wall. Burt's words shock everyone around them….

_**How could you? How could you do that to your friend? Do you hate Kurt that much**__? _Burt is oblivious to anyone else being there, he can only see and hear Noah sobbing in his arms to protect Kurt.

Kurt is standing next to his father trying to calm him down and to get his dad to turn loose of Finn's coat. _**What are you talking about Dad? Calm down Dad your heart, I cant lose the two men I love….Please**__…_

The other Gleeks are gathering around the spectacle. They can see the rage in Burt's eyes and the fury that he is barely containing. They are shocked at the words he speaks directed at Finn…No one can believe what Burt is saying….Rachel feels like someone just hit her with a fist...She is speechless as she watches..

_**Did you know Kurt was next on the list? Do you know what they have planned for my son? Are they going to nail him to a cross? Or are they going to tie him to a fence since like Matthew Shepard? **_Burt has lowered his voice but will not let go of Finn. The rage is dripping off each word he says.

_**How can you love that asshole? Kurt, Puck attacked you, I saw the clothes you threw away with the blood on them, I saw the pictures. I did what I was suppose to do. I protected my little brother. I told Puck if he hurt you again that I would send him to the ER. **_Finn looks at Kurt instead of Burt, talking to him. Finn feels pride and now it is out in the open so he accept their gratitude. He looks at Kurt waiting for him to say something…

_**What did you do? Oh God Finn, what did you do? He didn't attack me. The blood was his from where you beat the hell out of him in the locker room. I'm falling in love him Finn. We have been seeing each other for the past couple of weeks**__._ Kurt cant believe what Finn said to him. He looks at his Dad who still has a grip on the jacket holding Finn against the wall. He shoves a fist in his mouth to stifle the scream that is threatening to erupt from his lips. _**Finn did this to Noah….I'm next?**_

Mike reaches out to Kurt pulling him close to him. The rest gather around Kurt trying to shield him from the turmoil that is unfolding in front of them. Each one has the same question…_**Finn did this to Puck? This has to be wrong**__…._

_**Answer my questions boy….How could you do that to your friend? How could you set Kurt up to be next on the list? **_Burt is ready to pound Finn into the ground. The stupid idiot looks like he is proud of himself.

_**I don't know anything about a list….Puck got what he deserved…For what he did to me, to Quinn, to Beth, to Kurt**__…_Finn looks at Burt like he should understand what Puck did to him last year. The way he bullied Kurt. Slept with his girlfriend and knocked her up. If he had been the father the baby would still be with her parents. Not given away like something you didn't want, he wanted the baby. Burt should be proud of him for acting like a man.

_**He begged you to help him Finn…. He begged you for help and you just walked away from him….You set him up to be tortured and almost killed….And they told him that Kurt was next…That it would be worse for him….**_Burt throws Finn towards the exit doors. He know if he keeps his hands on him he will beat the tall teenager to a pulp…_**Get out of my sight! Get out of my house! Stay the hell away from Kurt and Noah! If you don't I will finish this, I will finish you Finn!**_

Kurt breaks free from his friends and steps in front of Finn. He cant believe what he is hearing or what he knows is the truth. He isn't sure how he does it, but he hits Finn in the jaw with everything he has in him. He watches as Finn falls back to the hard tile floor. _**I hate you Finn Hudson! If you ever come near Noah again I will finish you instead of my Dad! You are a pathetic person Finn! Noah would have done anything for you! Hell he has done everything for YOU! You made him the person he was, Puck, you helped to make the real Noah hide away in shame and fear! Hurt him again and I will end your miserable life Finn Hudson!**_

Kurt is shaking with unequivocal hatred for the tall teen in the floor. He wants nothing better than to beat the stupid hurt expression off of his face. To watch him suffer the way Noah has and he knows it is only beginning for Noah.

_**Fuck you Kurt! I did this for YOU! I did this cause you made Puck turn fucking queer! YOU did this Kurt! **_Finn screams at Kurt as he gets up and walks out of the door. He doesn't see Mike and Sam holding Mr. Hummel back.

Once Finn is out of the doors, the boys turn Mr. Hummel loose so that he can comfort his son. _Kurt this is not your fault…You didn't make Noah turn to anything…I watched you boys one day at the mill…You were actually smiling and laughing with Noah…Nothing fake about what you feel and from what I saw that day there was nothing fake or forced about the love I saw in Noah for you…There was real tenderness and love between the two of you that day…and I have noticed a change in you too….You were happy with Noah and you can still be happy with Noah…But YOU cant blame yourself in this fucked up mess….__**This IS NOT YOUR FAULT!**_

_You knew Dad? You saw us at the mill and you never said anything, why? _Kurt is shocked that his father knew about him and Noah…

_Because you were happy….Because it wasn't the fake happiness you show me and everyone else…It was real….The way you guys looked at each other….And I cant believe I'm saying this part…But the way you kissed each other was real…Full of love and tenderness….So I kept my mouth shut thinking you would tell me yourself when you were ready…_Burt grips his son's head between his hands, looking him straight in the eyes so that he will see the honesty in them….

Kurt can only throw his arms around his father. The complete trust his father just showed him was staggering to him. They stand there for a few minutes, a son holding onto his father with every ounce of love in his heart.

The doctor interrupts them to let them know what room Noah is being taken to and that they all can visit him. But to keep each visit brief so that Noah can rest and to make sure that Noah stays as calm as possible. Burt thanks him and shakes his hand. Kurt looks at his father, _Can I go see him now? _Burt signals for everyone to follow them as he leads a rag tag group of scared teenagers to their friend's room.

Outside of Noah's room it is decided that Kurt should go first. Burt wants to go with him, but he tells his father he has to do this alone. He walks into Noah's room alone and terrified of what he will find waiting for him.

He sees the figure laying in the bed, his boyfriend, the once tanned skin is pale, the bandages are visible on his head and hands. The bruises on his face are dark black or red. Kurt covers his mouth to stifle the rush of emotions that are running through his heart and soul. He watches as Noah stirs on the bed, like he knows he is there.

_Kurt? _The raspy voice is calling from the bed.

_Noah? I'm sorry baby. God I am so sorry. _The tears flow freely from Kurt's blue orbs as he all but runs to his boyfriends side. He gently takes the bandaged hand in his own, trying not to hurt him.

_Not your fault Baby Blue….Not your fault…._Noah's voice is all but a whisper, the warm hazel eyes red rimmed and full of tears. He tries to lean towards Kurt's body, seeking comfort from the one person that he knows cares about him.

Kurt tries to hold Noah, placing his head against Noah's, the side that didn't have a bandage, his hand stroking his Mohawk. He can feel Noah quietly cry against him, feeling Noah's bandaged hands trying to hold on to his shirt. Kurt whispers calming, _you're safe baby, no one is going to hurt you anymore….I got you Noah and no one is going to hurt us anymore….__**Finn is gone baby**__….Daddy thru him out of the hospital and the house….Shhhh….Its okay a mon bel amor….._

_**Don't…. leave….. Me… Kurt….. don't…. let….. Me… go…. I…. am…. Not…. Going… to…. Make….it….. Without…. You….. Please…. don't…. leave….. Me….**_Noah's voice hitches with every word. The pain both physical and emotional is breaking the once formidable jock.

The fear in Noah's voice is killing Kurt. He pulls back from Noah, cupping his face carefully… _**I am not going anywhere Noah….I promise you….I am not going anywhere…..You have to promise that you aren't going anywhere either baby….Promise me Noah…**_.

_**I promise…. **__not going anywhere without you….._Noah looks into the baby blues that make him feel safe, needed, wanted, loved…He needs Kurt like he needs air to be alive….

Kurt cradles Noah the best he can against his chest. They both need each other to get through the fallout of this mess, this crime…Kurt holds Noah until he feels the older jock relax and the sobs ebb to soft breaths…

Burt watches his son and Noah from the doorway. Ever the protective Dad, he just wanted to make sure both boys were okay…Yeah both boys….He had a feeling Noah Puckerman was joining his family now and for some strange reason he was really okay with that…He would just have to set down some rules and deal with his wife, Carole, about Finn….He didn't want to lose his wife, he loves her, but Kurt would always come first in his life….And as far as he was concerned Finn Hudson was never stepping foot back into his house….


	13. Introspection By The Gleeks

_Thanks to everyone for reviewing….This chapter is about the Gleeks and the conversations in the waiting room…We all see and know things…Small and big things that we see everyday, that are bullying…..But we for the most part walk away or ignore it….sometimes it takes someone you care about being hurt to make you realize that you are just as guilty as the bullies because you don't try and stop it….Reflection is a wonderful tool for introspection….But to use that tool to help ourselves and others is what needs to happen everyday….I pictured the kids sitting in the hard plastic chairs that are so uncomfortable, talking about what they did know and what some of them didn't….The way Rachel cant believe Finn was involved….That she…that they never saw something like this coming….And yes one Gleek is missing and we will find out why soon…..So please review and as always please keep following the story….Peace and Harmony….Hemmy_

Chapter 13

Introspection by the Gleeks

_This is written like a script…The emotions are there if you read the lines and you know the characters….The setting is a hospital waiting room with the Gleeks sitting in those damn uncomfortable chairs__…waiting..._

Mike

I didn't know Puck and Kurt were seeing each other. But it does kinda make sense now.

Brittany

Yeah. No one was suppose to know so this wouldn't happen. I wonder how anyone found out? Burt knew but he wouldn't tell anyone, he didn't even tell Kurt that he knew…

Artie

Remember when Finn knocked Kurt into Puck when we were rehearsing? I think that is when it started for both of them…Or at least Puck...

Mike

Yeah. They looked pretty….uh….interested in each other that day. But then Puck started bullying Kurt again the following week. So I thought he just pissed off at Kurt for falling into him….

Brittany

Puck was confused about having feelings for Kurt. He was scared that it wasn't NORMAL. You know guys I hate that word. No one really knows what normal is do they? Everyone thinks they are normal and I'm not….What's to say I am not the most normal person sitting here? Society?

Mercedes

I always thought Puck was interested in Kurt. The way he was always around Kurt. He was never afraid to touch Kurt when we performed or in public for that matter. He just always seemed to be there, near Kurt. That was NORMAL. The bullying that started up again wasn't and we should have known something, done something…

Tina

I saw him one day looking at Kurt, the way Mike looks at me sometimes when he thinks I don't see him. It was like Kurt was special to Puck. I am sorry Quinn but I don't think I ever saw Puck look at you or any other girl that way. It just seemed like the only thing he could see was Kurt.

What were we suppose to do? Confront him and get our collective asses kicked. We all know that Puck doesn't handle stress well. He lashes out…Oh my….That's what he was doing with Kurt, he couldn't handle his feelings so he lashed out at Kurt….Bullying him again….We should have known...

Quinn

I know he never looked at me the way he does Kurt. I have seen him look at Kurt. When I lived with him last year he would get this soft look on his face whenever we talked about Glee and Kurt's name came up. But then he would start acting like Puckzilla again, like it wasn't cool to like Kurt. I didn't say anything and I wasn't jealous.

You're right Tina…He was lashing out at Kurt because he couldn't handle his feelings for Kurt. They terrified him. We all should have seen that, but we didn't, we just saw Puck acting NORMAL….Being the bully we all see him as, all of us except for Kurt. Somehow they got together….Burt knew it….But none of the rest of us knew it….We just took it for granted that something happened to change it, to stop Puck from bullying Kurt….

Sam

I saw Puck slip a note in Kurt's locker last week. He looked around but he didn't see me. He would all but push the note through one of the slots and then pull it back out. He almost put it back in his pocket, but he finally pushed it all the way through the slot. He looked really scared when he couldn't get it back out. I didn't say anything to anyone. I knew it wasn't a hate note, that is was different. Just the look on his face, the way it took him forever to put the note all the way in the locker. It really meant something to him, something special….

Artie

Brittany and I knew what was going on….Kurt called me the night after him and Puck kinda got together the first time….He wouldn't tell me exactly what happened only that they kissed and made out…But then Kurt was a bitch to Puck and told him to stay away from him until he knew what he wanted, until he could admit he had feelings for Kurt…I told Kurt that was mean but I could understand too…

Then when Santana attacked Puck in the hallway the next day and Puck slammed his fist into the locker beside her head, well, Kurt was the one that took care of Puck's hand….I told Kurt he had to stop being there for Puck, to let him come to him….That it was only making Puck's confusion worse….Being there for a minute and walking away again…Then Puck and Kurt got together, I guess it was the day of the note…And they have been seeing each other everyday since then…They were happy….They would text each other in class and talk at night….Just like me and Brittany, they are good together….

Mercedes

Why didn't Kurt talk to me? Why didn't he tell me what was going on? I'm his best friend…._The hurt is evident in her voice as well as by the look on her face_….

Artie

Cause he knew that _Sadie_ couldn't keep a secret and he wanted to talk to a guy…To get a guy friend's advice….Besides he knew you would go after Puck and threaten him….Probably scare him away….Or hurt him…

_Mercedes shakes her head in agreement…she know what Artie is saying is true…She probably would have made it worse for both boys trying to help…._

Rachel

I'm sorry guys, but we need to talk about Finn right now. Do we really believe that Finn set this up? That he is responsible for Noah nearly dying today? I just cant accept the fact that Finn would walk away from Noah being tortured, that he would be the reason in the first place. They are friends, they are on the football team, they are in Glee together…..Finn is our friend…Burt just threw him out of the house….What are we going to do?

Artie

I was in the locker room the day he attacked Puck over Kurt. He kept saying all during practice how he was going to make Puck pay for everything. Quinn, the baby, Kurt, fucking him over…He just kept going on about all the shit Puck did to him. I finally told him that I wasn't involved and I walked/rolled away….I walked away from Finn, just like he did Puck…I'm just as bad as Finn…I could of stopped it that day, I could have told Puck that Finn was after him…So yeah I think Finn could be a part in this…Puck told Mr. Hummel that he was there and he left Puck there for those animals to hurt him…_Brittany wipes the tears that are falling down Artie's red cheeks.._

Mike

No Artie, I don't think you or anyone else could have stopped him that day. I heard what he was saying that day too. I could of told Puck or Coach Beiste, but I didn't….I walked away too….But yeah Rachel I think Finn was a part of this…Puck wouldn't lie…Not now….And we know Mr. Hummel wouldn't lie about something like this….Finn admitted it before he left…

Sam

He kept talking all day before practice… during class… during lunch… How he was going to make Puck pay for bullying Kurt and all the rest of the shit he did to him and everyone else….I could have told Puck or one of you….But I didn't….I just told Finn that I didn't want to hear it anymore and walked away too…..

Rachel he said Puck got what he deserved….Nobody deserves what happened to Puck…Except maybe the ones that did it to him…And that includes Finn….

Quinn

Its like Coach Sylvester said today….We all can stop this crap…The hate….The violence….But it is going to take all of us to do it….I know I changed last year because of Beth, but this year I have gone back to being the Ice Bitch from Hell….I know what my nickname is….I thought it meant respect….I thought it meant I was better than everyone else….

Now I feel….like I am less of a person…that I am just as bad as the people that did this to Puck….Like I am partly to blame…_Quinn suddenly feels the need to wash her hands, to wash her whole body at thought of being to blame in what happened to Puck_…..Rachel stop defending Finn…He admitted it…Puck told Mr. Hummel that Kurt was next on some list….That Kurt was going to be hurt worse….

Rachel

Why didn't I see what was going on? Why didn't I see Finn's real personality? How could he hide it from me? He was suppose to love me….I'm Jewish like Noah…The words they painted on him, on the grass….What they did to him…How could they hate Noah so much? How could Finn hate Noah that deeply? Why didn't we see it? Why didn't I see it?

Mercedes

None of us did…None of us saw the real Finn…He played his part really well….And he played us all too…Especially Puck and Kurt….I didn't know someone could hate that much…We all know who was involved….Or at least two of them that helped Finn set this up and that would have no problem doing the dirty work…..

Rachel

But I was with him everyday….I talked to him everyday….I thought he was trying to get his friendship back with Noah….I never thought he would really hurt Noah….I knew about the fight in the locker room but he told me that it was his job to defend Kurt…Because Kurt couldn't defend himself….I thought it was just guys being guys…You know, just being guys…I love Finn….But if he did this to Noah, could he do this to any of the rest of us? Does he hate us too?

Brittany

Artie, I'm scared now….What if Finn hates us because we knew about Kurt and Puck? What if he decides we need to be taught a lesson_? Brittany is really scared….She climbs onto Arties lap, clinging to him…_

Artie

I wont let anyone hurt you Britt….I don't think Finn would be stupid enough to come after us….Not after what happened with Mr. Hummel….I don't think he will hurt any of us…Not right now anyways…_Artie rubs her back, holding her close to him._

Mike

We just have to stay together at school….No one can be alone or apart from the rest of us….We have to keep Kurt close to us at all times….If they are planning on going after him next, we have to make sure he stays with us during school…I think Mr. Hummel will keep him and Puck safe outside of school….

Sam

I agree with Mike…None of us can be by ourselves at school…We know who the ring leaders are at school…Karofsky and Azimio….They both have bullied all of us and the rest of the loser population at school…And we know that some of the other jocks would help them out….

Tina

But we cant go and accuse anyone without proof…And we don't have any proof except against Finn….And that is just Puck's word against his….Even if he did admit to it in a round about way….It is still our word against theirs…And we all know how well that turns out at school with Figgins…

The kids watch as Mr. Hummel walks back into the waiting room. His eyes are full of unshed tears as he looks at each one of the kids for a long moment before he speaks. He can feel the tension in the room, but he can also feel the love these kids have for each other…..

Hey guys….Kurt is staying with Noah for a little while….I think they need to be together, to just be there….anyways….Um would you all mind staying here and keeping an eye on them for me? I need to go and talk to Carole about Finn….And the rest of the mess that is going on here….I am going to be Noah's temporary guardian for a while and I need to go sign some papers about that too….I just don't want either one of them to think they are alone….I am going to tell the nurses that you guys are the only ones allowed in the room with Noah…I don't want anyone else to get in there….Understand kids….NO ONE….Call security if you have to…Call the nurses….Okay?

Mike

Sure Mr. Hummel….But are they going to listen to us kids?

Burt Hummel

They don't have any choice now….They should have listened to you kids a long time ago….Then we wouldn't be sitting here in a hospital, praying that Noah is going to be alright…When we all know he isn't….not for a long time…But I will be back as soon as I can….Mike you did good today helping me…The rest of you did good too….Just keep it up…They both need you all, don't forget that…Please…

The kids all shake their heads yes and tell Burt they aren't going anywhere until he gets back…Burt offers them a small sad smile as he walks out of the room….


	14. Revealed Secrets and Hard Truths

**Thanks to everyone that has reviewed….this chapter was difficult in that I didn't want to make anyone in this story a scapegoat…Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, especially to save themselves….Mistakes are made in our lives….The regret is what we live with for the rest of our lives…Both are a part of our lives, but how much they effect our lives is up to us….Anywho….I hope you continue to follow this story…Special shout out to Yuki Chan for help with the title…Peace everyone….Shout to CPU, Sayuri Rose, JasonDragon…Thanks guys **

**Chapter 14**

**Revealed Secrets and Hard Truths**

**When Sue Sylvester reached her office, someone was waiting for her.**

_**Jacob Ben Israel, what the hell are you doing in my office? I am not commenting on your stupid blog about Puckerman so take you camera and your sorry ass out of my office now**_**!**

_I think you will want to s-see this Coach S-Sylvester…..It's about Puckerman and what happened to him…._Jacob Ben Israel pushes the play button his camcorder and turns up the volume.

Coach Sylvester turns a ghostly pallor as the recording starts playing in front of her eyes. She recognizes the faces that are on the small screen. She looks at Jacob and is tempted to punch the boy sitting in her office chair. _He taped it….the little prick taped it…_His body is shaking with quiet sobs as he watches the tape. She stops the tape as Puck is being attached to the cross. She cant take anymore. The begging, the screaming…

_You had better start at the beginning Jacob and I will know if you are lying or if you leave anything out. _Coach Sylvester grabs a water bottle to wash away the bile that is pushing its way up her throat.

It takes Jacob a few minutes to calm down enough to talk. He knows he is just as responsible for what happened to Puck as the boys on the tape. He could have called the law, he could have told Santana no, he could of done a lot of things differently. It scares the hell out of him that it could have been him on the tape instead of Puckerman….

_Santana Lopez made a deal with me….I was suppose to follow Puck around school to find out who he was sleeping with…She was pissed off because he told her to stay away from him…She told me that she would get the jocks to stop bullying me if I helped her….I told her I would do it but that I…_Jacob swallows hard, he knows the woman in front of him will want to hurt him_…..That I would do it for a pair of Rachel Berry's panties too….She said we had a deal…._

_I followed Puck around school for a week…He just went to class and then left…So she told me to follow him after school, to find out where the girl lived…She told me to get pictures of them together so she would have proof….Puck belonged to Santana…Everyone knew that…Her words, not mine…._

_I followed him to the old mill, Elam's Mill….He just sat out there for a while listening to music…Then Kurt Hummel showed up….They got into a fight, yelling at each other….Puck said that he couldn't stop thinking about Kurt…Then Kurt kissed him….And they, well they….made out….I took some pictures and I snuck away before they saw me….I kept following Puck after school….He stayed away from Kurt….Kurt stayed away from the mill….Then last Friday it seemed like they stopped fighting…They really care about each other…_

_I felt so bad taking the pictures….I really did, but I kept telling myself it would stop the jocks from bullying me….…I met up with Santana over the weekend and I gave her the pictures and she gave me a pair of Rachel's panties….I didn't ask her what she was going to do with them…._

_I overheard some of the jocks talking about what Puck had coming to him yesterday….That they would all meet up at the mill last night….They said Puck needed to be taught that homos were not welcomed at WMHS….I went to the mill that afternoon….I hid were no one could see me….Puck showed up later…He just sat beside the creek…._…._Puck was alone, Kurt wasn't there with him…._

_And then Karofsky showed up…I started filming, I didn't know what else to do….If I tried to stop it they would have killed me….You saw the tape….They were like animals around Puck….I threw up so many times….I was too scared to help him….I knew they would hurt me too….It could have been me….It could have been me….I'm so sorry….God help me I am so sorry! _Jacob breaks down in raging sobs.

Sue Sylvester pulls out her cell phone and calls Coach Beiste. She tells Beiste to tell the officer in charge to come to her office that she has some evidence that he really needs to see. Beiste asks her what it is and she tells her to come with the officer…Sue hangs up her cell phone and turns to Jacob…..

_I really just want to beat the shit out of you right now Israel….You should have called the police or at least someone so they could help Puckerman….But I also know how you have been treated here in school…But in all honesty some of it you brought on yourself…You poke the proverbial snake with your blogs…In some ways you bully the people that you talk about or write about…_

_We cant do anything about that now, but what we can do, what you can do is cooperate with the law…These people took bullying to a new level, a dangerous and deadly level…You are going to tell the officer in charge everything that you just told me…You are going to show him this tape and tell him what you saw last night…If you are charged with anything you will be a man and accept the hand that fate has dealt you in this mess…_

Coach Beiste and Detective Donovan walk into Sue's office….

Shannon Beiste is one tough woman….She has coached boys high school football for several years…There isn't a lot she is afraid of or a lot that she hasn't seen…She has seen countless fights between her players…Watched the toughest guy on the team cry like a baby when he found out his girlfriend cheated on him…But nothing in her coaching life had ever prepared her for what she saw on the video….The brutality of what those boys did to Puckerman would haunt her for years….His screams would haunt her nightmares for weeks…

Officer Donovan watched the tape with tears in his eyes. He had seen murder victims, he had seen women brutally beaten by their spouses or boyfriends, countless bar fights, you name it and he thought he had seen it all until now. What he watched on the small screen was horrific, something literally out of a movie. He gagged a couple of times when it showed the one letterman jacket cutting the boy's abdomen….

After watching the video, Officer Donovan took Jacob's statement and informed him it would be up to the DA if any charges would be pressed against him. And that the FBI would be involved since Hate Crimes were federal cases. He asked both coaches to keep what they had seen to themselves until the arrest warrants were issued by the judge. Both women agreed but told him it would be hard not to go and hunt the animals down in their classes.

**Burt and Carole in the hallway of the ER**

Carole is walking into the ER as Burt is walking down the hallway to the double exit doors. They see each other, neither one rushes to the other. They just stop in front of each other with sad hostile looks on their faces.

"Burt, Finn called me and said that you kicked him out of the house. That you blamed him for what happened with Puck. He said it was Kurt's fault what happened to Puck. Tell me you didn't kick him out of the house Burt." Carole is on the verge of coming unglued in the hallway. Her fists are clenched at her sides, her body shaking with rage at the man in front of her.

"Carole I was coming to find you, to talk to you about what is going on. Have you heard about what happened at school this morning?" Carole shakes her head no, that she was in meetings all morning.

"Noah Puckerman was tortured and left hanging off the football goal post last night. Some freak sent Kurt a video of what they did to him this morning during class. Kurt called me hysterical, saying that he thought Noah was dead and that he needed me to get to the football field. Noah would have died if we hadn't gotten there when we did. Carole I have never seen anything like what I saw this morning. Noah is in bad shape." He watches his wife's eyes brim with tears. He knows that she has known Noah for years, that he and Finn had grownup together since they were eight.

"The hospital called Noah's mom and she…well lets just say it wasn't something a parent should say about their child no matter what…I told the doctor I would take responsibility of Noah and his care. I am on my way to sign the papers at the judges office now."

"He asked to see me Carole, he had something to tell me. Those animals said that Kurt was next and that it would be worse for him. And forgive me honey, but Finn was there when they tortured Noah." He watches her face turn red with rage.

"What the hell are you talking about Burt? Finn would never hurt Kurt or Puck for that matter…No matter how much Puck hurt him last year with Quinn and the baby, he would never hurt Puck!" She is shaking her head no, waving her hands around in the air.

"Finn is Kurt's step brother. He would never hurt Kurt. You saw him at the wedding dedicating that song to Kurt, the way he is always taking up for Kurt. Why would he hurt Kurt?"

"Because Kurt and Noah have been seeing each other in secret. It seems that Finn found out about it and attacked Noah. He hates Noah, he said that he got what he deserved when I questioned him in the ER. He even blamed Kurt for turning Noah gay." Burt is trying to keep his temper under control but it is getting harder by the minute with Carole. He knows she loves her son, but she needs to know the truth.

Carole cannot believe that Burt is saying these things to her. Noah and Kurt have been seeing each other? Finn said that Noah got what he deserved? There has to be some mistake.

"I don't believe it Burt. I cant believe it. Finn would not be a part of this. You have to be wrong! Finn is sweet, kind, gentle. Everyone knows that Finn would never hurt anyone.'

"Fine you don't want to believe it, I will take you to Noah. You can see what shape he is in and then you can decide what you believe. Talk to him Carole, if he will see you. He is terrified right now. You have no idea what they did to him. They broke that boy, they broke his soul." Burt knows the only way she is going to believe is to see it and hear it for herself. He leads her to elevators.

**Noah's Room**

Kurt finally calmed Noah down to a light sleep. He is singing softly to Noah….

Love heals  
When you feel like you can't go on  
Love heals  
Hold on to love, it'll keep you strong  
Love heals  
When you feel like you can't go on  
Love heals  
Hold on to love, and it will bring you home

Love heals when pain's too much to bear  
When you reach out your hand, and only the wind is there.

When life's unfair  
When things like us are not to be.

Love heals when you feel so small, like a grain of sand  
Like nothing at all.

When you look out at the sea, thats where love will be  
Thats where you'll find me  
You'll find me.

He looks at Noah, really looks at the boy laying in the bed. The dark circles that are etched deep around his eyes. The way his body twitches, jerks because of a nightmare or memory of what he endured. The bandages that cover the palms of his hands, his fingers curling and uncurling into slight fists. Every movement reflects pain in his face.

Kurt knows this pain is the easy pain. The hard pain will come when he has to accept what happened and why it happened to him. The betrayal by Finn. The threat made against Kurt, that it would be worse. The way people will look at him, at them when he is well enough to go back to school. The whispers behind his back, the gossip. All of that will be more painful than the physical pain he is in now.

There is a commotion outside of Noah's room. Kurt walks to the doorway to see Mike, Sam, and Mercedes blocking the hallway. Kurt looks over their heads to see a woman and a camera man trying to get past them. Artie and Brittany were headed to the nurse's station for help. The woman keeps asking the Gleeks questions about Noah and what they saw this morning, but no one was answering them.

A nurse finally appears and tells the news people that they were not allowed past the visitors desk unless they had family members at the hospital. She politely tells them to leave or she will call security and have them physically removed from the premises. They leave, but not before spouting off about freedom of the press. She tells the Gleeks they did a good job protecting their friend, but that is only going to get worse with the media.

Rachel hearing what the nurse was saying immediately called her dads and asked them to help keep the media away from the hospital and their homes. They told her they would see what could be done with their lawyer and that they would call her back. Rachel smiled at Kurt who was standing in the doorway watching them.

Kurt steps out into the hallway, the other Gleeks gather around him.

"Kurt, can we see him?" Quinn is the first to ask, she is holding on to Sam's hand with a death grip.

"How is he?" Artie and Brittany ask together.

"Kurt I am so sorry about what happened…I am sorry about Finn too." Rachel knows it isn't her fault but Finn was her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend….

"It is bad. I am not going to lie to any of you. He is scared and in a lot of pain. They cant give him any real pain medicine until tomorrow because of the concussion. I just…I just want to thank you all for being here for Noah and for me." Kurt tries to hold his voice steady as well as his hands.

"We are here for you Kurt and for Puck too." Mercedes pulls her best friend in to a tight hug. "I just wish you didn't have to go through this."

"But you have friends Kurt. You both do. We aren't going to let anyone get near you or Puck at school or here. And we are staying here at hospital until your dad gets back." Tina offers Kurt a small smile.

"All night if you need us too. We could have a giant sleepover in the waiting room." Brittany offers to Kurt. The others just look at Brittany like she has lost her mind, but at the same time they think it a great idea.

Everyone turns around to see a very pissed off Carole Hudson-Hummel and Burt Hummel stepping out of the elevator walking towards them.


	15. A Mother's Denial and A Boy's Tears

_**Thank you JasonDragon, CPU, Kindre, kyubifreak, loppss, ireneisAMAZING…And a very special shout to Yuki-Chan for always helping me with the titles…This one is from her too! **_

_**Now to explain a little bit…A parents first loyalty is to their child…So I tried to write Carole with that in mind…Finn is Carole's world and has been since the day he was born…Kurt is Burt's whole world….So please keep that in mind….This chapter was hard emotionally for me…I think you will see when you read this one…There is so much emotion going on from everyone…And I gave a brief glimpse of what Noah is feeling…Please as always follow this story….Peace my friends Hemmy**_

Chapter 15

A Mother's Denial and A Boy's Tears

Burt takes Carole into Noah's room, asking Kurt to wait outside while they speak with Noah. Kurt tries to tell his dad that Noah is resting but Burt just waves at him to stay outside of the room.

Carole gasps at the sight in front of her. How could someone do this? How cold they believe that Finn could be a part of this? How could Puck say Finn was a part of this brutality?

"Carole, do you need to step outside? Sit down maybe?" Burt sees the anger, the confusion dance across her face. He tries to lead her outside but she wont make a move.

"You think Finn was a part of this? You think my son could be a part of something so cruel and brutal?" Carole's voice is becoming louder and more high pitched with each word. She is pointing at Puck.

"Carole he admitted it to me. He said that Puck got what he deserved. No one deserves that." Burt tells her pointing at Noah. He sees Noah begin to struggle under the covers. He walks to the side of the bed trying to comfort Noah.

Carole watches how compassionate Burt is with Puck. The way he talks softly to the thrashing boy. It makes her blood boil that he can show Puck mercy but he cant even believe Finn's innocence.

Noah's eyes open and he looks at Carole. He starts trembling, his eyes searching the room. Burt knows he is looking for Finn. _Don't worry Noah, you're safe. Finn's not here it's just Carole._

"Where's Kurt? Mr. Hummel, where's Kurt?" Noah's voice is frantic and full of pain.

"He's with the rest of your friends. Mike, Artie, Sam and the girls. They are all in the waiting room. He's safe Noah and you're safe." Burt doesn't know what else to do for Noah except try and reassure him that everything is okay.

The more Carole watches Burt with Noah, the more her anger boils until it spills out of her mouth.

"**Puck stop lying about Finn. He would never hurt you. He would never hurt Kurt. All he has ever done is be your friend and you accuse him of being a part of this?" **Carole is yelling at Puck as she points at him.

"He was…He was there…I begged him…help me…They kept…hitting me….He…left me….there….left me there…." Noah screams at the memories. "He…laughed….They held…me down…Finn…left me…there…."

"**You're lying Puck. Everyone knows you're a liar and a troublemaker. STOP LYING ABOUT MY SON!" **Carole screams at Puck, her face and voice full of hatred for the injured jock.

"**GET….OUT…CAROLE! LEAVE HIM ALONE AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HIS ROOM!" **Kurt walks back into the room yelling at Carole. He heard the yelling and Noah's screams. He goes straight to Noah and pulls the larger teen against his chest. He can hear Noah's raspy voice…_left me there…begged him….help me… _Kurt cant help the tears that fall from his blue eyes. He knows this is only going to get worse for Noah.

Burt grabs Carole by her arm and physically pulls her out of Noah's room. He cant believe she would say those things to Noah. The truth is hard to swallow but Burt knows that she is going to have to face the facts. Her son was there and he was a part of it. As Burt pulls Carole into the waiting room he tells Mercedes to go and get a nurse for Noah.

"Let me go Burt! Get your hands off of me! Why are you defending that delinquent? You know Finn would never do…that…to anyone! He's your step son Burt! You have to take his side in this!" Carole's face is bright red and streaming with tears. She jerks her arm free from Burt's hold and tries to leave the waiting room, but the kids stop her.

"Mrs. Hummel, Finn admitted that he was a part of it. He said in front of all of us that Puck got what he deserved and that it was Kurt's fault too. Finn hates Noah for many reasons. Quinn, the baby, Kurt, and I think most of all Finn was jealous of Noah." Rachel's voice breaks the silence of the room. She has had a lot of time to think about her EX BOYFRIEND, and she sees things differently now. Things that didn't use to make sense, make sense now to her.

"You are all his friends, how can you take that liar's side? You all know Finn. He's gentle. He's kind. He's not a monster!" Carole has a look of disbelief on her face. Rachel of all people is defending Puck? "He wasn't jealous of Puck. He is better than Puck. Finn never got into trouble with the law like Puck did, he wasn't the one that knocked up Quinn, he wasn't the one bullying the kids at school."

"Yes he bullied the kids at school. I was one of them. He would lock me in the port a potty. Steal my wheel chair. He would throw slushies at us. He just never got caught doing those things." Artie knows all this because Finn use to bully him. "He used to throw Kurt in the dumpsters. He never stood up for Kurt, until you started dating Mr. Hummel and then he made a point of telling everyone that it was his _job_ now. He didn't want to do it but it was his _job_. "

"Finn has always resented Puck. Puck always got the girls. He was better at football than Finn. Puck was popular without trying to be popular. Finn hated the fact that Puck was Puck. Even though he helped to create Puck himself." Quinn looks at Carole hoping that she can get through to her. "I have known both of them most of my life. Puck was what Finn wanted to be, but he didn't have the nerve so he would get Puck to do the things he was afraid of doing himself. I'm sorry but we all heard what Finn had to say and he was/is a part of what happened to Puck."

"None of you are his _real_ friends. If you were his _real_ friends then you would be on his side. You would be defending him instead of lying about him." Carole is in denial now. She sees the truth on each of the kid's faces but this is her son, her only son, they are talking about. "Burt we will be out of the house tonight. I will call the lawyer when I get home…_my home_…and start the proceedings. Don't contact me. If you need to contact me call my lawyer. I will leave the number on the kitchen counter of _your house_." She pushes her way through the kids standing in the doorway, she doesn't look back at Burt as she walks away.

Burt's shoulders slump in defeat. He knew that this would not go well, but he had had a small hope that she would believe the truth. That she would believe the kids. But if the tables were turned and it was Kurt being accused of something this heinous he would defend his son just like she did with Finn. He knew to just let her go, to let her cool off and think about everything.

"Mr. Hummel?"

"Yes." Burt turns to find a nurse walking into the waiting room.

"I gave Mr. Puckerman something to help him calm down. I am going to call the doctor and ask if I can give him a light sedative to help him sleep. I think if we closely monitor him that it shouldn't be a problem. I am a parent and what that boy is having to deal with, he needs to rest. I just wanted to let you know what was going on. Oh and you should be really proud of these kids. They kept the media away from him and they didn't answer any questions either." The nurse smiles at the kids and pats Burt's shoulder as she leaves the room.

"Um, excuse me, Nurse…."

"Richards. Nurse Richards kids. What can I help you with?" she walks back into the waiting room.

"We were wondering if we could spend the night here in the waiting room. I know it is probably against the rules. But they are our friends and they, both of them, need us right now. And so does Mr. Hummel." Brittany asks in a small voice. Her mom is a doctor and she knows that the hospital has rules.

"Let me see what I can arrange. But I think as long as it is okay with your parents it shouldn't be a problem." She knows the kids need to be there, for themselves.

**After Carole and Burt's exit….A moment in Noah's room**

Kurt is listening to Noah ramble about what he remembers. The words are jumbled and erratic out of Noah' mouth. But the words are terrifying to Kurt, even if they would make no sense to anyone else. He can hear the fear, the pain. He can feel the terror in Noah's trembling body.

Kurt holds onto Noah. He watches as the nurse walks in and injects something in his IV. She smiles at Kurt, it is understanding smile.

He holds Noah as tight as possible without hurting his ribs or any other part of his injured body. He feels the tears soaking the front of his shirt. He can feel the jagged breaths Noah is taking, the hitch that litters his voice as he speaks.

_**kept touching me…. wouldn't stop….touching… my pants….grabbing me…. Hit me… like it….stop….please…no…no…stop…help me….it hurts….wont stop….let me go….please….help me….stop…please….oh god it hurts….**_

He gently lays Noah back on the pillows, wiping away the tears that stain his cheeks. The once beautiful umber eyes now filled with fear and terror, blood shot from too many tears. He watches as they start to droop from the medicine in the IV.

_Baby you need to sleep….I know you're scared but you have to rest…It's just you and me in this room…No one else is in here but us…I'm sorry they hurt you baby….They hurt you because of me….But no one is going to hurt you anymore I promise….._Kurt swears the part on his own life.

_**Hurt me cause of me….Not you….baby…blue….they hurt me…said cause Ima dirty Jew…kike…not cause of you…don't wanna sleep….keep seeing it….keep feeling him cutting me….Oh God…it hurt so bad….my hands…could feel…the nails…begged…screamed…wouldn't stop…they wouldn't stop…. **_Noah tries to grasp Kurt's shirt but the bandages and pain wont let him. He watches as Kurt leans into him. Noah can feel Kurt's strong hands slip around his shoulders, cradling him. He buries his face in the crook of Kurt's neck and cries until his eyes close.

Kurt cries with Noah. For his pain. For his fear. For the helplessness both boys are feeling. Kurt cries because Noah will never be the same boy he once was, he may never even be Noah again.

They stay like that until Kurt is sure Noah has fallen asleep. He untangles his arms from around Noah's shoulders, trying not to disturb the finally sleeping jock. He watches Noah sleep, stroking the dark stripe of hair, praying for peace.

Burt lets the kids know that he is going to check on Noah and Kurt, then go to the judges office to sign the papers. But before he leaves he tells them all to call their parents, let them know what is going on and to ask permission for the sleepover. He knows the kids don't want to leave but he wants to make sure the parents are okay with it.

Burt looks in from the doorway at the two boys. Kurt is sitting on the side of the bed stroking the older teens Mohawk. He notices that Noah looks like he is resting better, he isn't struggling under the covers anymore. He doesn't walk in, he doesn't want to disturb the quiet of the room so he simply turns walking to the elevators.


	16. To Be A Part Of My Home

_I would like to thank everyone for reviewing! CPU, Kindre, Kyubifreak, Loppss, SayuriRose, IreneisAMAZING, Themarimosheep, ninja kitty-chan, silversalvation18, luchagirl, pinkkrane,beasty95, JasonDragon64, wolfrainSS, Lordjustdontcare. And Yuki-Chan who always helps me with the title and helps me to stay on track! _

_This chapter features the Gleeks…The world is fixing to get a lot crazier for everyone…The next chapter will also feature the Gleeks and Kurt…I hope everyone enjoys it…As for the drug abuse and detox, I thought this was more realistic in handling it…Just remember that the larger and smaller picture/scope of this story really does involve everyone to some degree….So please continue to follow the journey….Peace my friends Hemmy_

Chapter 16

To Be A Part Of My Home

The parents of the Gleeks in the waiting room descend upon the hospital. Each parent is worried about their child and what effect all of this is having upon them.

Rachel hears her two Dads before she sees them. They are arguing with each other about what they can actually do for Noah and they have brought her therapist just in case Rachel needs to talk. Rachel runs to her fathers and lets the tears she has held back fall as she holds on to both of them. She tells them she doesn't need her therapist, just her fathers.

Judy Fabre rounds the corner with a somewhat loud squeak when she sees her daughter. All that Judy can say is thank God you're alright as she hugs her daughter. Quinn breaks down in tears in her mother's arms. She keeps asking her mom, "Why Puck?"

Artie's father runs to his son and literally pulls the boy from his chair into a bear hug. He was so afraid that Artie had been a victim too. He just cries into his son's shoulder as he keeps repeating, can't lose you too. Artie knows he is thinking about his wife, Artie's mother. Artie lets his own tears fall as he holds on to his father.

Mercedes mother is the next one in the room. She is the most calm, until she sees her baby girl run to her with tears in her eyes. Both mother and daughter breakdown in tear filled prayers of thankfulness and prayers of hope for Noah. Mercedes hasn't cried like this since she was a little girl.

Sam's father grabs his son and starts scolding him for worrying him and his mother. Sam finally breaks down telling his father what he saw this morning. He tells his father that this wasn't suppose to happen here in Lima. Sam's father pulls him close and tells Sam that he is there for him.

Mike and Tina are engulfed in a wave of family members. A mixture of Korean and English is being spoken to both teens. From the tones both kids are being berated for not calling and letting them know they were okay. It is Tina who first hugs her mother and starts to cry telling her mother; it was bad, really bad.

Mike leans against his father whispering that he helped Mr. Hummel get Puck down. "I was so scared that he was dead." The emotions are too much for Mike as he breaks down telling his dad everything.

Brittany's mother makes a mad dash. She is due back in surgery, but one of the nurses had told her that Brittany was on the fourth floor in the waiting room. She tells Brittany that if the other parents think it is okay then she could have the sleepover in the waiting room. They just had to be extra quiet and make sure everyone followed the rules of the hospital. Brittany tells her mom that she is okay, she has to be for Puck.

The parents noticed the tv was off in the waiting room so the teenagers didn't know that the situation was national now. The kids have no idea how bad it really was outside of the hospital. The media, the lines that were being established between neighbors, between friends. The word hate being thrown around like a ball on the playground. Or better yet a game of hot potato of whose fault it really was, why a teenager was tortured because of who and what he is….

After many heartfelt tears, begging, and pleading looks the parents finally give their consent to the sleepover in the waiting room as long as each child contacts their parents every couple of hours to let them know they are doing alright. Brittany's mother assures the parents that the kids will be safe and guarded at the hospital.

Some of the parents offer prayers to Noah and Mr. Hummel, the teens let their parents know they will relay the messages to everyone. No one should have to go through the hell that Noah was and no parent should have to find out their step child was a part of it.

The parents also think that it would be safer for the kids to be in the hospital where there were guards to keep the media away. And to keep anyone that would want to hurt the group of friends. The parents aren't stupid, they all know that their children had been the targets of the school bullies since before high school began. Having gay parents, having multi-racial families, being a teenage mother/father, the child being gay, being handi-capable, being Jewish, just being different from the other kids and not conforming to society made them targets.

The parents say their goodbyes along with hugs and heart felt I Love Yous.

Burt arrives shortly after the parents leave. He gives the temporary guardianship papers to Nurse Richards so that she can make copies for the hospital records. He asks about Noah and is told that he is resting but they are going to have to check his bandages soon and she would like him, not Kurt, to be there. She knows that Kurt has not seen the abdominal wound and she doesn't think the young man can handle it.

Burt agrees with her. He knows his son. He knows that Kurt is barely keeping himself together for Noah. He needs to have some time away, maybe get something to eat or just take a walk for a minute. He tells her, "just say when and I will make sure Kurt is out of the room."

Burt's cell phone rings as he is walking to Noah's room. It is Detective Donovan asking if he could give a statement now and if Kurt was available to give his. Burt reluctantly tell the detective that now was a good time for both of them. Detective Donovan asks Burt if he knows where the other kids are as he needs to get their statements as well. Burt smiles a little and tells him that they are all in the fourth floor waiting room. The detective tells him he will be there in a half an hour. Burt sighs at the thought of everyone reliving the horror of the morning.

Burt turns from Noah's room and goes to the waiting room. He needs to tell the kids that the detective is going to be taking their statements. He knows that the kids will tell the truth and that no one will be spared, it is finally time to name the jocks that have been tormenting these kids for years. It just makes him sick that it took someone nearly dying for the truth to come out.

The kids greet him with the news that their parents all gave their consent to the sleepover. Burt smiles at the somewhat happy faces, he knows these kids need each other now, they are a family. He looks at the kids as a group. They are everything to each other. They are what we parents couldn't give them. A safe and comfortable haven as long as they are together.

"Kids, a Detective Donovan is coming to get your statements in a few minutes. I want each one of you to be honest and tell him what you know. I am talking about the bullying before this happened up to now. This has to stop guys and the only way it is going to stop is if you all tell the truth." Burt hopes that they will listen to him. "And I don't want the tv turned on until you give your statements, okay?"

"Sure Mr. Hummel. But why?" Artie asks Burt. He is sure he knows the reason but he really doesn't want to think about it.

"Because Noah, Kurt and the rest of you are the main focus of the news right now. It seems that this has made the national news. The media is everywhere in Lima right now. News crews, reporters, the tabloids, all looking for someone to talk to about what is happening.

They cant say your names because you all are minors, but they are talking about you anyways. They just bleep out your names when they talk about you. And several arrests have been made with more to come." He sees the looks that flash across each teenager's face, so many questions are behind each set of eyes. Burt holds his hands up to silence the group before they speak. He needs them to listen to him, to hear what he is telling them.

"I am not going to tell you who until after the police talk to you. I don't want anyone to prejudice what you say. And that comes straight from the judges chambers. He told me if you guys talk to anyone or listen to the tv that your statements could be treated as prejudiced in the eyes of the court. A way each of you could get back at the people that have tormented you."

"If you don't listen to what the media is saying then you cant be influenced by anything or than each other. You all were there this morning. Hell, you kids are the only ones that will really say what was going on at that school. "

"But Mr. Hummel, we wouldn't do that. We aren't after anyone. We just wanted it all to stop. I don't know how many times I reported what they did to me. How many times the teachers looked the other way when the bullies did things to me, to us." Artie looks at the group knowing that they feel the same as he does about the bullies. He didn't want anyone to be accused falsely, he wanted the ones that were guilty to be punished that was all.

"Mr. Hummel we, as a group, feel this way. We just want our high school years to be safe and happy ones. To be able to have good memories to look back on, not memories filled with fear or mistreatment. We just wanted to be treated kindly by everyone." Rachel agrees with Artie. She tears up at her own words. The memories they had made as a group were good, but they were still bullied as a group because of being in Glee too.

Burt is called away by the nurse at that point. Nurse Richards lets him know that they need to check on Noah, he remembers their conversation from earlier. He tells the nurse to give him just a minute and he walks back to the waiting room.

"I need for you guys to keep Kurt busy for a little while. The nurses need to check on Noah and they need to change his bandages. I don't want Kurt to see how bad Noah really is so if you guys could keep him distracted it would be great. And tell him what I said about the detective coming over too." Burt knows his son will be mad at him but he is doing this for his own good and for Noah's too.

The kids agree to keep Kurt busy and to let him know what is going on with everything and everyone. They can tell him about the sleepover, the detective, the prayers their parents sent to him and Noah.

Burt thanks the kids and heads with Nurse Richards to Noah's room. Burt walks in first tell Kurt that the other kids would like to talk to him. Kurt simply shakes his head no.

"Dad, I'm not leaving him."

'Yes, son you are for a few minutes. You need time to yourself."

"No, I don't. Noah needs me."

"I will be in here if Noah wakes up. You are going to go to the waiting room Kurt. I AM TELLING YOU TO GO TO THE WAITING ROOM. No discussion or arguments." Burt hopes that the finality of his voice is enough for Kurt. He doesn't want to yell at his son, but he knows that he isn't ready to see what lays underneath the bandage on Noah's abdomen.

Burt watches as his son gives him a go to hell look before gently kissing Noah's bruised cheek and quietly stomping from the room. He watches Kurt stop at the door.

"Let me know when I can return to MY boyfriend's room, Dad." Kurt retorts to his father. He walks out the door as his eyes brim with tears. His father just threw him out of the room.

Burt knows Kurt is angry about having to leave and that is the only reason he doesn't say something about his disrespectful mouth. He calmly tells the nurse they are ready. He looks at the quiet Noah and mentally kicks himself for this happening to the boy. He is finally resting and we have to disturb him.

"Mr. Hummel, I know this seems wrong to you, but I am going off shift soon and I would like to be the one to change his bandages. I just want to make sure it is done properly and that everything is done to procedure. It's not that I don't trust my colleagues but the news is showing how angry people are and I don't want to take any risks." Nurse Richards tells Burt honestly. And really it isn't that she doesn't trust them, but sometimes people's judgment can be clouded by what they hear and what they believe to be truths. Most of her coworkers were good people, but even good people could do stupid things.

Burt simply shakes his head in understanding. After today he is willing to believe anything is possible in the small town of Lima. He saw the way people looked at him when he was driving to the judge's office. People he knew wouldn't even wave at him. Some people actually flipped him off or spit at his truck.

Burt had checked on the shop while he was out and Pete his assistant manager said that the phone wouldn't stop ringing, news people wanting comments and some calls were extremely nasty about Kurt being gay. Some callers even said that the Jew got what was coming to him and that Kurt was next. That made Burt's skin crawl. He told Pete to call the law and tell them what was going on and to let him know what they said.

Burt looks at the teenager laying in the bed wishing with all that is in his heart that he could make all of this go away. That people would accept him and Kurt, the love that they shared, but he knew that wouldn't happen in this small town.

He watches as Nurse Richards starts to work on the bandage on Noah's head. She gently peels it away revealing the jagged line that is being held together by seven stitches, the wound looks red and angry. Burt tries to calm his breathing at the sight. _What the hell did they hit him with? _

Nurse Richards quickly cleans the stitches making sure they are dry before redressing them. She moves to Noah's hands next, unwrapping each one to reveal large, ripped holes in both palms. Burt feels sick, the bile threatening to push out from the back of his throat. She cleans both palms and puts some type of crème on each one before redressing them.

Noah begins to struggle when she pulls the covers back, the cool air making him stir. His eyes begin to flutter open, his hands trying to pull the covers back up. He looks at Burt reaching for him, his lips moving but no sounds can be heard.

"Its okay, Noah. Nurse Richards is trying to change the bandages and check to make sure you're healing okay. She isn't trying to hurt you, Noah." Burt gently holds Noah's hands in his own, trying desperately not to hurt frightened teen. He watches as Noah begins to tremble when the nurse starts to pull up the gown he is wearing.

"Please no….Please Mr. Hummel, I don't want…Don't let Kurt see….PLEASE!" Noah is becoming frantic, trying to fight both the nurse and Burt. He doesn't want Kurt to see what they did, what they cut into his skin.

"Noah, I made Kurt wait outside. He isn't in here. It's just you, me and the nurse. You have to stop fighting us Noah. I'm sorry kid but she has to change the bandage and make sure its okay. Come on Noah look at me." Burt's voice gentle but firm talking to Noah, it's the voice he would use with Kurt when he had to be tough with his son. He turns Noah's face to look at him.

"I just don't want Kurt to see. It's not his fault. He thinks it is, but it's my fault. I should have stayed away from him. I should have just kept taking the drugs and drinking him away like I was….I should have stayed away…" Noah looks at Burt, his hazel eyes begging, pleading Burt for understanding and help at the same time. He knows what they carved into his skin, he could feel each letter, each mark they made with the box cutter blade. He keeps fighting Nurse Richards and the covers.

"Son what kind of drugs were you taking? **NOAH! **You have to be honest with me." Burt is concerned more about the drugs than the alcohol. The doctors need to know what he had been taking and how much, it could effect the medications they were giving him.

"Xanaxs Mr. H. I would take one before school and one when I got out. I was drinking with them, even at school. It made everything okay. They made me feel normal for a while. But I knew I was falling for Kurt. I couldn't stop how I was feeling, what I was feeling for him….I need him…I need him to hold me, to touch me….To make the world go away….I just need him…" Noah knew he had to tell Burt the truth, Mr. H was not someone to lie to and live to tell about it. Besides he didn't want to lie anymore about anything.

"Noah what did the pills look like?" Nurse Richards asks, they needed to know because it might explain some things.

"Bars…White…2 on them"

"How long have you been taking them?" Nurse Richards needs to know this information, so she stops trying to get his covers pulled down from his chest.

"A couple of weeks maybe more…I don't remember exactly…I'm sorry Mr. H….I'm so sorry…" Noah doesn't want Burt to walk away from him, to be like every other adult in his life. His eyes show the fear of what he is feeling.

"We will definitely talk about that later when you are feeling better and out of the hospital. We will have a long conversation about that when we get you home. But for now you just need to be honest with Nurse Richards about this okay?" Burt isn't happy at the news of drug abuse but he has read enough about gay teens to know that it was a common thing especially when they were having a hard time accepting being gay. "And thank you for being honest with me Noah."

"Home? What? I don't understand Mr. Hummel." Noah is confused by Burt saying when they get home, his home? Mr. Hummel's house? Why would Kurt's dad want to take him to his house? Why hadn't he seen his mother yet? "Where's my Ma? Has she been to visit me yet?"

"Noah. I'm sorry but your mother said….Well I have temporary guardianship of you. I signed the papers at the judges office earlier this afternoon. Your mother hasn't been by to see you yet. I'm sorry Noah." Burt is genuinely sorry to have to tell him that, in so many words his mother didn't want him. He couldn't tell Noah what his mother said exactly, he couldn't do that to him. He watches Noah's eyes fill with tears.

"She wouldn't come would she? She told me the last time I got in trouble that she would give me away, let the courts figure out what to do with me. I guess she finally did it." The tears start falling down his cheeks. "How could she hate me so much? What did I do Mr. H? What did I do for her to hate me?"

"Noah, this isn't your fault. Your mother just….Well hell kid…It doesn't matter…You're going to stay with me and Kurt…I don't think she hates you Noah…" Burt has no idea what to say. He knows what the doctor told him she said and no child deserved to hear that from a parent. He wipes the tears away from Noah's cheeks.

"Yeah, she does….She always says it to me…I look too much like my old man…I am just like him….A Lima loser….She never wanted me….She would tell me I was a mistake…A fuck up in her life, in her happiness…" Noah turns his head away from Burt, he doesn't want him to see how much this hurts him. He is tired of crying in front of everyone.

"Noah, you are not a fuck up in anyones life. You were a gift to her that she gave away….**YOU ARE NOT A LIMA LOSER! YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE!** Kurt wouldn't love you if you were a mistake or a fuck up…You know that…Deep down in your heart you know that….And I want you, to be a part of my home…I will be honest…I know you have a past, but I think if you are given half a chance you can make better choices in your life…." Burt tells him the truth. He knows the kid laying in the bed has been in more trouble than most of the kids in his class, but he deserves a chance. "That's all I am offering to you Noah a chance at something better, it's up to you to take it."

"I want it Mr. H….I want to try…." Noah finally looks at Burt. Some of the fear is gone from his hazel eyes. "Thanks…For wanting me…in your home…" The last words spoken by Noah are almost a whisper as he swallows the lump in his throat.

"We will talk about everything later….Right now you have to let Nurse Richards do her job…I know its going to hurt, but she has to do this Noah…Don't fight her, the sooner she gets it done the quicker you can rest." Burt tries to sound like a friend and a father at the same time. His late wife was always better at making Kurt feel better about stuff, he had no idea if he was doing this right.

He watches Noah shake his head and turn the covers loose closing his eyes at the same time. The teenager's body goes completely rigid when he feels the covers being pulled away from his body. Burt holds one of Noah's wrapped hands between both of his own rough, calloused hands. He doesn't want to look either, so he keeps his eyes on Noah's face.

Noah can feel Burt's hands holding his, he tries to grip the hands but the bandages and pain make it difficult. But Burt helps him make it work. He doesn't want to watch as the gauze is removed from his abdomen. He doesn't want to see the word or the symbol that is going to be there the rest of his life.

He can hear the nurse telling him to breath, to try and relax. The tape and gauze are being pulled away gently from his skin. The air makes it hurt, makes it throb worse than it was before. The feel of the cool, wet cloth being dragged across his etched skin cleaning it.

He can hear the nurse telling him that she is going to have apply some antibiotic crème to help fight infections. He simply nods his head. He can feel the sting of the crème as it penetrates the cuts. The nurse tells him he is doing great. Burt just keeps holding on to him. The gauze is being gently laid across him and he can feel the tape sticking to his skin. His gown is being pulled back down and the covers back up.

Noah opens his eyes to see Burt Hummel still holding onto his hands. No one had ever cared enough about him to do that, except Kurt. He smiles a very small smile staring at his hand in Burt's. He feels a slight burn in his arm and turns to look at the nurse, she is pulling a syringe away from his IV tube. His eyes become droopy as he hears Burt Hummel say, "You did good kid. You did good."

Nurse Richards waits for Noah's breathing to become slow and even before she motions Burt out to the hallway. She needs to talk to him about detoxing Noah. Burt follows her outside of the room.

She explains to Burt how Noah's body is addicted to Xanax and how the alcohol helped to speed up the addiction. The chemicals in the drug mask what he is feeling by generating more GABA in the brain. It makes the mind calm and tricks it into thinking everything is going to be fine. It will be as long as Noah is on the medication. The alcohol only heightened the feel good feeling that the drug produced and made his body more susceptible to the addiction.

But once the medication and alcohol is gone the brain doesn't produce enough of the GABA on its own and the anxiety returns but with a greater force. The withdrawal of Xanax is painful and very dangerous. He is already exhibiting symptoms of withdrawal, the nurse tells Burt. She needs to talk to the doctor and let him know what is going on with his patient.

Noah needs to be on a detox program that will allow him to be weaned off the drug. It is basically the dosage is lessened each week to two weeks until the body has adjusted to the drug being completely out of his system. It is the safest way to take him off the drug. If he were to go cold turkey then he would run the risk of seizures/convulsions and other bodily withdrawal symptoms.

Burt nods his head in agreement. He tells Nurse Richards to do whatever is necessary to help Noah. He meant what he told Noah, he deserved a chance to have a better life, a better future.


	17. You've Got A Friend

_**Thanks to everyone that has reviewed or added a story alert…This chapter was hard but I think I am finally happy with it…Noah and Kurt both are and will continue to heal…And yes someone is still missing but she will show back up in a very dramatic way….That is her style….I will not name the assailants just yet…We know Finn and Santana are involved…And yes Jacob will be punished for his part in this….The rest will be revealed very soon…I am working on that now…The statement that Noah gives will be very…let's just say I will post warnings for that one…Please as always continue to follow this journey…Peace and Harmony…Hemmy**_

Chapter 17

You've Got A Friend

Kurt cant believe that his father just threw him out of Noah's room. He can feel the stinging tears slip down his cheeks. He walks towards the waiting room, but turns at the last minute and heads for the elevators. He needs to be alone, to think, to finally cry full force.

Brittany and Artie notice Kurt. They were both going to ask him if Puck was okay when they saw him turn and walk towards the elevators. Arties tells Brittany that he will go and see if Kurt wants to talk, but she stops him telling him that Puck trusts him more than anyone except Kurt right now, that he needs to stay. She kisses him softly and tells him she will take care of Kurt. She walks out of the waiting room unnoticed by the other Gleeks.

Kurt is stepping into the elevator when he notices a flash of blonde hair run in beside him. "Brittany what do you want?" Kurt tries to wipe away the tears before she sees them.

"Um, I am suppose to take care of you….So we are going to one of my favorite places in the hospital." Brittany reaches around Kurt and pushes the button that has an R on it. "Its quiet and no one will bother you there. I go there when I have to wait for my mom."

"Brittany, where the hell are we going? I need to be there when my Dad _ALLOWS_ me back in my boyfriend's room. Why doesn't anyone understand that Noah needs me?" First his dad and now Brittany. Kurt just wants to bang his head against the wall. He needs to be with Noah.

"Kurt _you_ need some time alone for a minute. _You_ need to let go of your emotions. Puck needs you but he needs you to be okay too. He needs you to be strong and you cant do that unless you take some time for yourself." Brittany slips her hand into Kurt's and starts to pull him from the elevator.

Kurt looks at his surroundings his mouth gaping open. Brittany had taken them to the helipad on the roof. They walk over to the edge of the building, standing next to the hand rail. The wind was blowing, but Brittany was right, it was quiet up there.

"Wow. Brittany, this is….nice…." Kurt is struck by the eeriness of the solitude he is feeling, even with Brittany beside him he feels totally alone looking at the sky. He breaths deep willing the tears to stay back behind his blue eyes.

"You know they did this to him because of me. They almost killed him because of me. Because I'm gay and Noah was the straightest guy in school. It's not my fault he fell for me. It's not my fault I love him. I stayed away from him like Artie said, but it hurt to see him in school everyday." Kurt's voice wavers as the tears finally fall down his pale cheeks. He didn't realize he was talking out loud until he feels Brittany put her arms around him from behind. It feels good to have someone to hold him.

"It hurt to see the pain in his eyes, to see the blank stare he gave everyone. He quit football and Glee. He was pulling away from everyone, from everything. He just stopped living. It was like watching someone die." Kurt takes a step away from Brittany and walks towards the edge of the roof.

He closes his eyes. It would be so easy to jump, to end everyone's problems. Carole and his dad could work through their problems. Noah could go back to being straight. It would be so much better on everyone if he just jumped.

Brittany brings him out of his dark thoughts.

"Kurt if you jump you will destroy the two people that love you. Puck was starting to live again because of you. You will destroy him the rest of the way. Puck has never loved anyone the way he loves you. He has had feelings for you a lot longer than you think." Brittany's voice is soft but firm as she stands beside Kurt on the edge of the roof.

"Your father needs you now Kurt. We all heard what Carole said. He needs you more than anything right now. If he loses what little bit of your mother he has left it will destroy him. You have always been your father's world. And now Puck is a part of your dad's world. They both need you. I need you and so does Artie. Glee needs you too.

Plus you will let the bastards that did this win. You cant let them win Kurt. You cant let them win because of Puck." Brittany is crying now. She doesn't want to lose anyone in her life. She loves her friends.

Kurt has always been nice to her, even when they made out when he was "straight" for a week. And she has always loved Noah. He would put things in her locker when she was having a bad day. She knew the difference between Noah and Puck.

"I'm not going to jump Brittany. I did think about it but I am not doing it. I cant let them win." Kurt hugs Brittany tight. He honestly respects what she has told him and knows that he has a true friend in her. "And I cant give up my dad or the guy that makes it okay for me to be me. I love the way Noah makes me feel, when he touches me, holds me. I don't mean sex, we haven't gone all the way yet. But I mean the warmth, the comfort. Can you understand that Brittany?" Kurt looks at her and wipes away the tears staining her pretty face.

"Yeah, its like me and Artie. Nobody thinks we will last but we will. I like it when he holds my hand or we are watching tv and he is holding me on the couch. I feel safe when I am with him, even if he is in a wheelchair. He makes me feel safe and happy. I love him Kurt, just like you love Noah. Its like finding a half of yourself that you never knew you lost until you found it." Brittany smiles at Kurt. She knows Kurt really loves Noah.

"That it is Brittany, that it is….I never thought….Never mind." Kurt looks at her confused by the wonderful and smart person standing in front of him. She simply amazed him.

"I love playing a dumb blonde Kurt…Artie knows I am smart and that is all that matters. He says I am too smart sometimes and that's why I act dumb….But I just think its fun to listen to what people will say in front of me because they think I don't understand them." Brittany smiles wickedly at Kurt.

She does enjoy the anonymity that comes with playing dumb. She knows so many secrets. Plus playing dumb was her defense against the bullies. If they ever found out how smart she was they would make her life hell too….

"Okay Miss Brittany. You must tell me about Finn and Noah. What do you think made Finn betray Noah so badly?" Kurt has to know what happened to really create Puck. He pulls Brittany over to place that they can sit down.

"You know that they both grew up without dads and that is how they bonded, became such good friends. The older they got the more Finn took charge and ordered Noah around. He would decide what they would do. Football, basketball, things like that. Finn had to be the quarterback even though Noah is better at football than Finn.

Noah was always fighting over what people said to him and to Finn. They would make fun of them about not having dads or always being together. Finn would always stay out of the fights. He would let Noah fight his battles for him. For a long time Finn was the same size as Noah. Before the freakish growth spurt a couple of years ago. So Noah thought it was his job to protect Finn. _That's what bros do_, is what Noah would say.

They were always together, hanging out. But one summer it all changed before we started high school. That was when Puck was really born. It started in middle school, but full blown Puck was born that summer.

He and Finn had an argument that lasted the whole summer. Puck made new friends, the jocks, and he became an even bigger bully. Finn couldn't control him anymore, no one could. He was the leader, not Finn." Brittany stops for a minute to let Kurt absorb what she has said so far. Most of it Kurt knew already, but it would help to get his mind off of what was happening now.

"I remember that summer. It seemed odd not to see them together. I remember you and Puck hanging out a lot too. Puck never got physical until high school. He would taunt me with words and call me names but he never physically hurt me. Do you know what happened between them? What the argument was?" Kurt looks at Brittany hoping she can answer with more than just her own take of that summer.

"We were at Noah's house. We were in the kitchen getting some sodas when the argument started. Finn wanted to know why Noah hadn't kissed a girl yet. Noah told him it wasn't any of his business why and to shut up. Before Puck was born, Noah was really shy around girls. They chased him and it kinda freaked him out sometimes.

So anyways, Finn kept pushing Noah. He kept asking him if he was gay or something. Noah was getting upset, he wouldn't look at Finn. Finally I grabbed Noah and kissed him. It was my first kiss too. Don't be mad Kurt. Finn thought I should kiss him too, but I didn't want to kiss Finn, so Noah told him to back off. He said I was his girlfriend and he didn't share with anyone. Not even him. That really pissed Finn off.

He said that the only reason I was Noah's girlfriend was so he could hide being gay. He kept telling Noah to just admit that he had feelings for him, the way he always followed him around, wanted to hang out with him. To just admit he loved him.

Noah told him he loved him, but like a brother. He asked Finn if he had lost his mind, where was all this shit coming from…What did he do to make Finn think this crazy shit…Noah was shouting at Finn. I could tell Noah was hurting inside.

Finn told Noah to fuck off. He knew Noah watched him undress when he spent the night. He knew Noah would watch him from across the room or the yard. He knew the truth and that was all that mattered anyway.

Noah told him to get the fuck out of the house before he did something he could never take back. Noah was shaking and I could see the tears in his eyes, but they never fell. Finn left and Puck was born.

After Finn left, Noah asked me if I kissed him because I thought he was gay too…I said no…I kissed him because I wanted to and I liked him a lot…So he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes…We spent the whole summer hanging out and I got to watch Noah change into Puck…But he was always Noah with me when we were alone…" Brittany sees the anger on Kurt's face and thinks he is mad at her. "Please don't be mad at me Kurt. It was a long time ago."

"And then Noah fell for you. Finn could see it, I could see it. Noah would look at you, not Puck, Noah. He never looked at anyone the way he looks at you Kurt. Didn't you ever notice the way Noah was always around you?

Finn noticed it. I could see the jealousy in his eyes when he would catch Noah looking at you. Finn wasn't the center of Noah's attention, you were Kurt. And then you fell for Noah. You took Noah away from him." Brittany looks at Kurt hoping to see understanding in his eyes but she only see anger.

"Brittany I'm not mad at you. I am totally pissed off at Finn. He wanted to be the center of Noah's attention…He wanted Noah to have a crush on him so that he could control him…Then I really did have a crush on the asshole and he freaked out…He didn't want me, he wanted Noah…Thank you Brittany for telling me all this…I'm glad you were there for Noah and I could never be jealous of you or mad at you…" Kurt tries to smile but he cant. He is fuming about Finn. He could only hope that the law would punish Finn for his part in all of this mess. Kurt reaches over and holds Brittany's hand, trying to let her know he isn't mad at her.

Both teenagers are brought out of their thoughts by Kurt's phone ringing with his father's ring tone.

"Dad says we have to go back down. There is a Detective Donovan waiting to talk to us. He sounds tired and upset. We better go and I need to check on Noah. Thanks Britt for getting me away for awhile. You were right, I needed to have some time." Kurt pulls Brittany up from where they were sitting on a concrete curb.

They both head back to the elevator and to meet with the detective. They arrive as he is finishing with everyone else's statements. Brittany, Kurt and Noah are the last three statements to be given to the detective. There isn't a lot Brittany can tell him except what she saw that morning and what Finn said to Kurt. She asks where Artie is and they tell her he is sitting with Puck.

Kurt gives his statement and hands over his phone, showing the detective how to access the video of Noah. He doesn't play it. He cant stand to hear Noah's screams again. The detective tells him that they have made several arrests. The names are not a surprise to Kurt or anyone else.

Kurt over hears his father talking with the detective about Noah. His father is telling Detective Donovan to come back tomorrow for Noah's statement. He doesn't want to disturb Noah who is finally resting.

The detective understands and tells Burt he will be back in the morning along with a FBI agent. The feds are coming in to make sure no mistakes are being made. They want this case airtight and the tape makes it that way as long as procedures are done properly. He tells Burt that they really got lucky with the tape.

Kurt asks about the tape and his father says that he will explain it all later. Kurt nods at his father and says that he is going back to Noah's room to check on him. Burt hugs his son before he walks away, telling him he loves him.

_**Artie in Noah's room….**_

Artie is sitting next to Noah's bedside. The teen is humming a melody to the sleeping jock. He looks at the once great Noah Puckerman…His friend….

His skin so pale...Bandages that cover his hands and the one on his head…Dark sunken circles around his eyes…Bruises that cover his face…Hand print bruises on his arms….Dark red streaks left by the rope….

Artie remembers the blood…The way he was hanging there…He keeps humming trying to block that picture out of his mind…He knows if he doesn't he will end up falling apart…He knows it could have been him instead of Noah…

A few tears fall before he stops them. He remembers Noah being there for him and he will be there for his friend. No matter how much it breaks his heart to see him hurt like this.

He sees the twitches of Noah's body, the slight flinches… The shake of his head…The way his legs move in small jerky spasms…The way he groans and mumbles…he cant escape, not even in his sleep…

He watches as Noah's bandaged shaking hand reaches out, searching for something or someone to hold on…Artie doesn't hesitate, he slips his own small hand into Noah's, letting the jock hold on… It seems to quiet him….

_How could those animals do this to him? How could they do this to anyone? _

_Puck was one of them…He was their teammate….Their friend….We all knew each other before high school, we all grew up together…Played at the same parks…Had parties together…How did we go from that to this? When did they turn into animals? _

"Hey…Artie…" Noah croaks out, making Artie jump in his wheelchair.

"Hey yourself…Do you need anything? The nurse?" Artie looks at the droopy hazel eyes staring at him.

"No more nurses….K? Keep knocking me out…Just…Thanks…" Noah's eyes are almost closed when he asks Artie, "keep hum…ming….nice…"

Artie feels Noah try to squeeze his hand before his eyes close all the way. So he starts humming again, a soft melody of peace.

Kurt watched from the doorway. He didn't feel jealousy at the scene, only love. Noah had more real friends than he thought. He starts softly singing the melody that Artie is humming as he walks up behind Artie. He sits in the chair next to Artie and shakes his head no when he sees Artie start to slip his hand from Noah's. He grabs Artie's other hand and holds on to it. Both boys quietly comfort their friend/boyfriend with their voices.

When your down and troubled  
And you need a helping hand  
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.  
Close your eyes and think of me  
And soon I will be there  
To brighten up even your darkest nights.  
You just call out my name,  
And you know whereever I am  
I'll come running, oh yeah baby  
To see you again.  
Winter, spring , summer, or fall,  
All you have to do is call  
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
You've got a freind.  
If the sky above you  
Should turn dark and full of clouds  
And that old north wind should begin to blow  
Keep your head together and call my name out loud  
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.  
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am  
I'll come running to see you again.  
Winter, Spring, summer or fall  
All you got to do is call  
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?  
People can be so cold.  
They'll hurt you and desert you.  
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.  
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.  
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am  
I'll come running to see you again.  
Oh babe, don't you know that,  
Winter Spring summer or fall,  
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.  
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.  
You've got a friend.  
You've got a friend.  
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.  
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.  
You've got a friend

More lyrics: .com/j/james+taylor/#share

A/N the song is You've got a friend…by James Taylor


	18. Papa Bear, His Cubs and the Wicked Witch

_Thanks to everyone that is on this journey with me….This chapter focuses on several different aspects…The need for parents to be aware of what goes on at school….What Santana is up to….My take on Santana is she shows no remorse for her actions….She lashes out…She wants the person to hurt as much as she is…Until it is too late…Just like a normal teenager…What Burt thinks of his new found family….I gave him a nickname because he is fierce and protective…To me it fits….The moment between Rachel and Noah…They are friends and she has always been honest with him….Noah is getting stronger…Kurt is finally letting go of his emotions…_

**Chapter 18**

**Papa Bear, His Cubs and the Wicked Witch**

The television is on in the waiting room. Burt and the kids are watching their first look at the media coverage concerning Noah and the Hate Crime that was committed against him.

**The Eye Witness News Desk, Melinda Moore reporting…**

_Our top story today is one that will rock the small town of Lima, Ohio for years to come. The images you are about to see will be quite disturbing as our own News Reporter Shelia Corbin had a difficult time covering this story_.

**The image on the tv screen changes to the football field at WMHS. The area around the goal post has been marked off with yellow police tape. The reporter, Shelia Corbin, looks to be in her late twenties and totally shaken to her core. She is trembling and tears escape her eyes at times. But she continues in her job.**

_This is Shelia Corbin reporting for Eye Witness News. I am standing here where earlier this morning a student was found hanging from the goal post behind me. He had been literally crucified, hanging from a cross made out of two by fours. . _

_You can still see part of the rope that was used to hang the student from the goal post. You can see the blood on the grass from the student. And most of all you can see one of the slurs spray painted on the grass. Arrest warrants are being issued as we speak. _**Jesus Killer in black is shown as the camera pans the scene. The bloody grass stains and the piece of rope that is left.**

_While school officials have declined to make comments, I spoke with several students and they are all reeling from the shock, the horror that they witnessed first hand. Many were reduced to tears. Many were afraid of being the next victim._

_So many of the kids that I spoke with have said that the school officials know that bullying happens everyday at this school. It is reported and yet nothing is done about it. Some of the kids even claim that the teachers witness it and still nothing is done. I am asking that the parents of any child at McKinley High, talk with your child or children tonight about the bullying problem that exist at this school. _

_This could be the start of something more terrifying than what they have endured so far, please talk to your children and get them to open up to you. Parents it will take all of us to stop these crimes. _

_We have to make sure the children are safe, where ever they are, we have to make sure they are safe and that this never happens again. _

_This is Shelia Corbin reporting for Eye Witness News, Lima, Ohio….._

**The news room is aghast at the images, some of which were acquired from the students are not shown on the air, and news anchor Melinda Moore is in tears and full of anger. She endured being bullied for years in school. She takes a deep breath before commenting on the story**.

_What Shelia just said is true…It is up to each and everyone of us to stop this insanity, the violence, the hate…I am imploring the parents as well…Please talk with your children….Find out what is happening at this school…The station will not be releasing any personal information regarding the victim…They believe that the young man is in enough pain without adding to it…We will keep you posted on the events of this story …_

Melinda Moore overcome with emotion is last seen with tears streaming down her face with what looks like a sob erupting from her lips. The station cuts to a commercial as they were not prepared for this to happen at the news desk.

**Back at the hospital…..**

Burt and the kids stare at the tv. He wishes all the media felt that way. But he knows they don't, it is the story of the year for some of the rags. The media will sensationalize the whole thing, make everyone, including the assailants, the victims.

_At least the school was called out in the press_, Burt thinks to himself. They were suppose to keep the kids safe and free from bullying, so now that it is out in the open, how it has gone on for so long, maybe it will change for the group sitting with him in the waiting room.

Rachel is the one to turn the tv off. She claims that even though that particular channel is not going to hype this story it doesn't mean that others wont. They must all be vigilant with Noah and Kurt. They must be kept safe no matter what she tells the rest of the group.

The kids talk quietly between themselves. They don't think that anything will change, if anything the teachers and Figgins will resent them even more now. Their dirty little secret was out. It couldn't be swept under the floor any longer. And if the speech from Sue was any indication of how she felt, the kids knew they had at least one ally.

Burt goes to check on the boys. From the way this group stuck together he knew he wasn't just getting one new person, but nine more. The house isn't going to be big enough for everyone when they have sleepovers. The food cost was going to be astronomical. But he would never turn any one of them away. Not after the way they all stuck together and tried to protect each other from the world outside.

He stops short of going into Noah's room. Artie is singing softly as Kurt sleeps in the chair next to him. Noah is resting quietly under the covers. Burt knows he isn't needed in the room, so he goes for a cup of coffee instead. He tells Brittany that the boys are alright and he is going out for a little while. She lets him know that she will keep an eye on them. She then hugs the gruff man and kisses his cheek, and tell him, _bye Papa Bear_. He just smiles at her as he walks away. _Papa Bear…._

He had learned so much about each one in the last few hours.

Rachel was definitely the leader when they let her. Which to Burt's amazement was often. They all disagreed with her but they did it with a way that kept her from becoming a tyrant over them or becoming angry with the group. She would actually listen to what they had to say.

Quinn was the reasoning when she was not upset. Sam was there to steady her when she became too overwrought. A rock that she could hold on to keep the rest of the world away. Together they made good pair, balancing each other out.

Mike was quiet until he was pushed, like this morning. He kept his cool even under the stress of the atrocity they witnessed that morning. Yeah, he lost it, but not until he knew everyone was safe. Burt was proud of that boy. He really was….

Mercedes was the one that offered thoughts of God and what everyone else was thinking. She was the absolute goodness of the bunch. Yet she was the first to tell Rachel or anyone else to shut up or to sit down. She was the equalizer of the bunch. He could see why Kurt loved the girl so much, she was the most grounded out of all of them. The most outspoken in what she thought was right.

Tina was the quiet one until you pissed her off. Then she became this force that would not stop until she was heard by everyone. And then Burt watched as Mike comforted her after her melt down. They made another good couple.

Brittany was the strangest by far. She would surprise him with small comments that seemed so out of her own reality, they actually made sense. Yet other times she would space out. Artie, the grandpa in a wheel chair, seemed to be the only one that understood that girl. . _What did she call him when she hugged him? Papa Bear? Do I really look like a bear? No I didn't take in one kid, I took in nine more._ Burt thinks as he walks to the elevators….

xxx

Later that night…the Gleeks have all settled in for the night in the waiting room…Take out boxes are picked up and thrown away…Beds are made on the floor and chairs…Kids snuggle into each to each other…Words of comfort are said as each one tries to sleep…..

Burt convinces Kurt to sleep in the waiting room for a while…He promises to keep an eye on Noah and to wake up Kurt if Noah becomes restless….Burt stays with Noah until the nurses shoo him out so they can change his bed and his bandages….Burt decides to take a long walk and to get some fresh air….

xxx

Santana Lopez needed to see Puck, to try to explain what happened and why she did what she did…She grabs her father's hospital ID and knows that she can find a set of scrubs at the hospital…She fixes her hair in a loose messy bun, washes the make-up off her face and heads to the hospital…She keeps thinking it cant be that bad….They just beat him up…Puck would milk a hang nail for sympathy…

She makes it to the hospital and changes her clothes….She takes the employee elevator to the fourth floor. It bypasses the waiting room and she grabs a chart from off the nurses desk to fit in better…She makes it to Puck's room unnoticed by the other personnel…

She looks at the sleeping form laying in the bed…No one else is in the room….

"Puck?"

"Puck are you awake?"

She shakes the pale teen, "Puck come on wake up….Puck you gotta wake up"…She shakes him hard…he groans from the pain she is causing his body…."PUCK! WAKE UP!" Her voice is loud enough to wake him…

He looks around the room in a panic. "What's going on? Kurt?"

"No it aint gay boy…It's Santana….You gotta do something Puck…You got to tell the cops you're not pressing charges…"

"Santana what are you talking about?" He looks around the room again making sure no one else is in the room…He is also looking for Kurt…

"The cops have an arrest warrant with my name on it…they said this was my fault…that I had you beat up…You know me Puck…I would never do anything like that…You're my man, baby…"

Noah is starting to remember some things the more she talks….

"Come on Puckerman…it's not that bad…So you got beat up…Not like that's a first….Suck up your hurt male pride and get over your gay moment…We can rule the school again, just you and me….I can make you forget all about Kurt….Puck are you listening to me?" Santana sees the look in his eyes, confusion and slowly anger.

"You were there….You saw me… there…." Noah's voice is rising. "**Why didn't you help me San**? **Why did you leave me there**?"

"You did this to yourself Puckerman. You went all queer on me. I didn't have a choice. I saw the pictures of you and that fag Hummel. What the hell is wrong with you Puck, getting your freak on with that…thing?" She cant believe he saw her. She thought he was out cold. She cant believe he is angry with her. She was the one angry with him, not the other way around. "You needed to be reminded that you're not gay. The beat down wasn't that bad, I've seen you go through worse at your Fight Club."

"You've seen me go through worse? How the hell could you know what happened to me? **YOU WERE THERE**?" Noah cant believe what he is hearing from her. He cant believe that he ever cared for someone so cold, so full of hate. His anger is starting to well up inside of him.

"Finn told me to stay in the car, that he was handling it. He said you were getting what you deserved, a beat down. We agreed you deserved it for going queer on us Puck." Santana's eyes are cold when she calmly explains it to Noah.

"You think I deserved this.." He holds up his wrapped hands. "Do you know what it felt like? Did you get off when I was screaming for them to stop?" Noah pushes the covers down and pulls up his gown. He feels nothing but pure rage for the girl standing in front of him.

"See you're not that bad….You wanting some of this Puck? Is that what you are up too?" Santana looks at him pulling up his gown with desire in her eyes, she knew he would still want her. That he would understand why she did it. She runs her hand down his chest.

"I don't want to fuck you Santana. I want you to see what you think I deserved…" Noah pulls the bandage away from his abdomen. He grabs her wrist yanking her closer to him. "Look at what _**I deserved **_you bitch. Look at what you caused to happen to me….Like it? …Does it make you want to **fuck me**?" Noah's voice is becoming louder and louder. The anger dripping off each word.

He doesn't feel the pain in his hands, he doesn't pay attention to the blood that is seeping through the bandages. "I felt every cut you bitch…**EVERY FUCKING CUT!**"

Santana tries to pull away from Noah's grip but he holds her fast. She looks at the angry red bloody lines of what was carved into his skin. The word. The symbol. She feels like she is going to be sick, they weren't suppose to cut him. "I didn't know…I didn't know…That wasn't part of the plan…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Puck…" She starts crying, the reality of what she caused settling in her mind.

Burt hears the yelling and sees the nurses run towards Noah's room. He glances at the waiting room to see the kids starting to come out, Kurt is leading the pack. Burt makes it to the room first, followed by the kids. They find Noah screaming at the nurses while Santana is trying to run out of the room.

"**Get that fucking bitch out of here! I hate you Santana…God help me but I FUCKING HATE YOU!" **Noah screams at Santana and the nurses. The pain is starting to burn through his hands causing him to let her go.

Kurt and Rachel elbow their way to Noah's bedsides, flanking each side of the bed. Both teens stop and gasp at the sight of Noah's abdomen. Rachel can feel her take out start to make its way back up her throat. Kurt reaches his hand out almost touching Noah's skin.

"**No! Kurt! Don't touch me! Please! Just leave PLEASE!" **Noah doesn't mean to hurt Kurt's feelings, but he didn't want Kurt to touch him. He doesn't want to see the shame, the disgust in Kurt's eyes. Most of all, he doesn't want to see the pity in those blue eyes. He watches Kurt run from the room with tears in his eyes.

Rachel tries to calm Noah, stroking his Mohawk and whispering quiet words to him. She hears that security is being called to pick up the Latina.

Burt, along with a nurse, grabs Santana. They pull her out of the room into the hallway. The nurse tells Burt to go to Kurt that she has the girl under control.

The Gleeks help to make sure Santana doesn't leave before the security guard gets there. She begs them to understand, but they all tell her she is going to get what **she** deserves now. Brittany tells her former best friend that she is a cruel and heartless bitch. Security arrives and escorts a hysterical Santana downstairs to wait for the police who are on their way.

Kurt is refusing to be comforted by Mercedes. His arms are crossed over his chest, hugging himself tightly. He couldn't believe Noah yelled at him. Burt walks over to him and pulls him against him into a bear hug.

"Kurt he doesn't want you to see what they did to him. Son, he isn't mad at you, he just doesn't want you to see them. It hurts him for you to see them. Understand?" Burt talks quietly to his son as he grips him against his chest.

"Dad I love him. Why didn't you tell me what they did to him? It's like they branded him. It doesn't change how I feel about him. I just want to hold him, to make it all go away. When is this nightmare going to be over?" Kurt cries into his father's shoulder, finally wrapping his arms around father. That was the first time Kurt had seen his boyfriend's scarred abdomen. The first time he breaks down in his father's arms.

"I don't know son. I really don't know. But what I do know…Noah is more concerned about you right now than himself. You are the first thing he asks about if you're not in there. Just give him time Kurt." Burt kisses the top of Kurt's head, holding on to his son.

The nurses return to Noah's room to re-bandage his wounds. When they ask Rachel to leave Noah tells them **NO** in a firm voice, that she stays with him. They simply tell Rachel to try and stay out of the way.

"Rachel did I deserve this to happen to me? Is this my fault?" Noah looks into Rachel's eyes, looking for the truth. He groans at the pain in his hands as the nurses unwrap them.

"No, you did not deserve this. This isn't your fault Noah and it isn't Kurt's fault either. You didn't do anything wrong. Loving someone is not wrong." Rachel knows that Noah is struggling to understand what happened to him. She looks at the battered face of the guy who could scare freshmen into a panic and sees a frightened young man. "Noah could you have done this to someone? Could you have hurt someone like this?"

"Oh God no! Rachel I may have been an asshole, but I would never had done this to anyone." Noah's tears begin as he thinks of what he has done over the years to Kurt and the other geeks. In all of his bullying he never tried to hurt someone this bad. "How can Kurt love me? He told me that we had to work out our pasts, that I was worth him forgiving me. How can he say that after everything I have done to him and to all of you?"

"Because you are worth it. I wont lie to you Noah. You were a grade A asshole/bully. But you have changed over the last couple of years. You stopped bullying us and you have stood up for all of us at some point in time. You were always there for us.

I am ashamed to say it, but we were the ones that were never there for you. We never stopped to ask if you were okay. To ask if you needed us. We just always assumed that Puck was tough enough to withstand anything. But we were wrong. We failed you Noah, not the other way around. We all see that now." Rachel feels her own tears slipping past her dark lashes. She knows what she said was true, they did fail him.

"It is my job to protect you guys. You are my team mates….My friends…." Noah's voice becomes strained as he feels the nurses clean the holes in his hands. He looks down at them seeing for the first time what they look like, he hears Rachel's breath hitch and looks up at her. He knew they were bad, but he didn't want to see the holes going all the way through his hands.

Rachel is looking at his hands. The jagged edges on the back of his hands match the ones in his palms. She looks back at his face trying comfort him, she knew he was in pain. "Noah it is our turn to protect you." She softly begins to sing to him trying to keep his attention off of what the nurses are doing. She strokes his face, keeping his eyes on her.

The nurses finish with his hands and move to replace the bandage on his abdomen. Rachel cant look at it. She knows what she saw earlier and she just cant look at it. She understands why Noah doesn't want Kurt to see them. Both things are symbols of hate. Symbols of prejudice against the fact that he is gay and a Jew. The animals that did this knew exactly how to hurt Noah in the worst way. The scars would be with him the rest of his life to remind him of what they did to him. She wipes the tears away from his cheeks and continues to softly sing to the hurting boy.

When the nurses are finished, Noah once again feels the slight sting in his arm. The nurses quietly leave the room.

"Rachel I need to see Kurt...Please….Before I pass out again…" Noah is fighting the mild sedative. He is so tired of being knocked out. He wants to talk to Kurt, he needs to talk to Kurt. He watches Rachel nod her head and she walks out to the hallway.

Rachel gently taps Kurt's shoulder telling him that Noah wants to see him. She smiles encouragingly at the tired teen. He thanks her and walks back into Noah's room. He stays at the foot of the bed, not going any closer.

Noah opens his eyes to see Kurt standing there looking scared and angry at the same time. Noah knows he has to do this, "Kurt we need to talk.."


	19. Forgiveness and Understanding

_Hello my friends…..I have literally written this chapter over six times…One thing I have been sick for the last few days…Fevers and writing doesn't mix too well….Anywho…Thanks to everyone that reviewed…I am going to dedicate one page, it will take it, to everyone that has reviewed or alerted this story…It makes me feel like I have done my job when you review with the emotions that come from reading this story….So please continue this journey…The assailants will be in the next chapter…So will Finn and Santana…This chapter is for Kurt and Noah…With a little someone else thrown in…Peace everyone….Hemmy_

Chapter 19

Forgiveness and Understanding

"About what? Are you trying to break up with me? That's what those words mean isn't it? _We need to talk _translates to I'm sorry but I don't want to be with you anymore." Kurt is trying hard not to cry or to scream at the boy who holds his heart.

_When I was younger_  
_I saw my daddy cry_  
_And curse at the wind_  
_He broke his own heart_  
_And I watched_  
_As he tried to reassemble it_

"I'm sorry Kurt, but you need someone better than me. You need someone that hasn't hurt you, that wont keep hurting you. You need to let me go, to walk away from me like everyone else. I'm no good for you Kurt." Noah tries to keep his voice calm. It is tearing him up inside to tell Kurt to leave him. He realizes how much he loves Kurt. How much he needs him. It hurts so much to push him away. He fights to keep the tears back.

_And my momma swore that_  
_She would never let herself forget_  
_And that was the day that I promised_  
_I'd never sing of love_  
_If it does not exist_

"What I need is you, Noah. I don't want or need anyone but you. You need someone that isn't going to walk away from you. You need someone that loves Noah the real you, not the mask Puck." Kurt knows the tears are falling down his pale cheeks, but he doesn't attempt to wipe them away. He stands with his hand on his hip and his chin firmly in place. He isn't backing down from Noah.

_You, are, the only exception_  
_But, you, are, the only exception_  
_But, you, are, the only exception_  
_You, are, the only exception_

"How can you love me? Kurt, I am just like the ones that did this to me. I have hurt you so much in the past. They are going to keep hurting you because of me. " Noah knows that Kurt loves him, he has since the day he asked him what they were at the creek. But he remembers what Karofsky told him and it scares the life out of him. He has to do this to keep Kurt safe.

_Maybe I know, somewhere_  
_Deep in my soul_  
_That love never lasts_  
_And we've got to find other ways_  
_To make it alone_  
_Or keep a straight face_

"I have hurt you too Noah. The day at the creek, I was mean to you and I walked away from you. I should have stayed and talked to you but I was too afraid. The day you hurt your fist, I walked away from you. I watched you pull away from everything you love and almost disappear, I didn't do anything to stop it. I stayed away from you. I should have been there for you." Kurt regrets what he didn't do for the confused teen. He should have been there for Noah, he should have helped him, not walk away.

_And I've always lived like this_  
_Keeping a comfortable, distance_  
_And up until now_  
_I'd sworn to myself that I'm content_  
_With loneliness_

"You didn't do anything that everyone else hasn't done to me. You were smart then Kurt, don't be stupid now. You deserve someone better than me. Walk away from me for good before I hurt you again. Please…You need to…" Noah's plea is cut off by a totally pissed off Kurt Hummel. He looks at Kurt and sees the anger written all over his face.

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk, but_

"**JUST STOP IT NOAH! JUST STOP! I AM NOT WALKING AWAY FROM YOU! NOT EVER AGAIN! I LOVE YOU NOAH ELIJAH PUCKERMAN! YOU CANT STOP ME FROM LOVING YOU! AND YOU ARE NOT PUSHING ME AWAY!" **Kurt hisses the words at the boy in the bed. He calmly walks to stand beside Noah. If the injured jock didn't already have stitches Kurt just might hit him upside the head to knock some sense into that hard head. "The day at the creek you asked me not to walk away from you again. Earlier here in the hospital you asked me again to never leave you. I promised you both times that I would never leave you and **I don't break my promises**."

__

I've got a tight grip on reality  
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here  
I know your leaving in the morning, when you wake up  
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

"You have to this time. I don't want you to go through what they did to me. If you stay away from me then you will be safe, he will leave you alone." Noah remembers in vivid detail what Karofsky did to him and what he said he would do to Kurt. Noah knows that Kurt would not survive it.

"I am not staying away from you Noah. I am not breaking my promises to you. You need me Noah. You need someone that isn't going to take Puck's shit, someone that will let you be Noah. That's who you really are, Noah. And you are not breaking the promise you made to me either. You promised me that you weren't going anywhere without me…..Baby….I love you."

Kurt gently lowers his head resting his forehead against Noah's. He strokes the stubble beside his boyfriends Mohawk leaning in for a soft kiss on Noah's cheek. He can feel Noah's bandaged hands trying to slip around him. He smiles against the bruised skin. He his lips linger a bit longer.

Noah loves the feel of Kurt touching him. He loves Kurt, he knows that now. He nuzzles in to the soft lips on his aching skin, the gentle hand in his hair. He doesn't want to let Kurt go.

"You're not going to let me do this are you Kurt? You're not going to walk away from me, from this…" He knew Kurt would fight him but he never thought he would let Kurt win this one. The fear of what could happen to Kurt grows in his heart. The pain and fear welling up inside of him.

_And I'm on my way to believing._  
_Oh, and I'm on my way to believing_

"No I am not. I love you Noah and we will work through everything together. What they did to you isn't going to change the way I feel." Kurt cups Noah's face in his hands, kissing his forehead. He pulls back when he feels the change in his boyfriend's expression.

"I just want to keep you safe. Kurt you don't know everything that happened to me. You don't know what Karofsky tried to do to me. What he said to me about you. What he was going to do to you because of me." Noah's eyes look haunted, full of tears and despair.

"Then tell me Noah…Tell me what happened…Tell me what they did to you….We will get through it, I promise…" Kurt urges Noah to be honest with him. The only way he can really help is if he knows what happened to the older teen. He thinks he knows some of it but he wants to know the facts.

"I don't know if I can Kurt….I feel so ashamed…Dirty…I couldn't stop him…I couldn't stop what was happening to me…" Noah can feel the heat flush of shame spread across his cheeks. He can feel his tears escape his dark lashes and the soft pads of Kurt's fingers wiping them away.

"Just try Noah…If you cant I will still be here for you….I will always be here for you baby…." Kurt knows reliving the nightmare is going to be hard for Noah. And it would be hard for him to hear it. But he had to do it for the boy he was in love with. He had to know what Karofsky did to him.

"I was at the creek…Listening to the play list you made for me….I never heard him…I never saw him…My head exploded….It hurt so much…the blood….He was grabbing me…Touching me….He grabbed my….He squeezed so hard…I begged him to stop…Not to do it…I tried to get away…He just slapped me…Kept calling me a bitch, a fag…That I wanted it…He ripped my shirt….I kept trying to fight him, Kurt… but I couldn't….He hit me again…Trying to get my pants…I was so scared….I kept screaming, begging for him to stop…He said I deserved it….He said that I took you away from him…And that you would never want to touch me again when he was done with me…." Noah can still feel Karofsky's hands on him. He can still hear the words spewing out of his mouth. Noah can still feel the fear wash over him, the helplessness. His body tries to curl into a ball to protect itself.

"You said he tried….Noah did he rape you?" Kurt can hear the terror in Noah's voice. The way his voice hitches, skipping words he doesn't want to say out loud.

"No! Finn and the rest of the jocks showed up before he could finish. He said he would get me later, and then he would get you….Show what a real man was like….I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Kurt…" Noah is looking at Kurt's eyes, trying to find forgiveness, understanding in them. His body shakes with quiet sobs.

"Noah he cant hurt us anymore. Karofsky and the rest of those animals were arrested hours ago. They cant hurt you anymore and they cant hurt me. They are locked up, the judge is holding them in Juvenile Detention until the arraignment." Kurt tries to reassure him. He can feel Noah fight against him. Literally pushing him away.

"Kurt I couldn't protect myself…I cant protect you…" Noah is trying to bury his face in his hands, to hide away. The shame of being weak, not being able to protect the person he loves is too much for him. He doesn't want to see the disgust in Kurt's eyes.

Both boys are shocked by the voice they hear, "Your family will protect you both".

Mercedes walks the rest of the way into the room. She didn't mean to eavesdrop on the two boys, she was only checking to make sure they were okay. She couldn't move when she heard Noah talk about what had happened to him, her heart broke for the older jock. Tears fell down her dark cheeks as listened to him. He had to know he wasn't alone.

"You have all of us behind you. You are a part of our family Pu-Noah. And you are a part of the Hummel family now too. Burt isn't going to let anything happen to you." She walks to the other side of the bed. "You have been there for us and now it's our turn to be here for you."

She cautiously places her hand on Noah's shoulder, gently squeezing it. She doesn't want to frighten him anymore than he already is, she just wants to comfort him. The trembling body under hand, the muffled sobs she could hear.

Mercedes looks at Noah, seeing the hurt and the fear in his dark hazel eyes. She never thought she would see Puck/Noah trembling in fear. When he stopped bullying them he became the one who stood up for them. "I promise you we will be there for you Noah. You are one of us and we care about you too."

Noah can feel her hand stroking his stripe of dark hair. It helps to calm him. He wants to believe her. He wants to believe that he has a family. He wants to believe that they will be safe, that Kurt will be safe.

Noah looks at Kurt he stops fighting and relaxes into the boy's hands on his arms. "I love you baby blue…wont break my promise either…" He looks at Mercedes "….Thanks Mercedes…Like you too" His hazel eyes begin to droop farther down. He is losing the battle with the sedative in his system.

Mercedes looks at Kurt in surprise. She never expected Noah to say that to her. It was going to take some time to get used to calling him Noah. She can see the love, real love, the two boys have for each other. She may have had doubts about Noah, but not now.

Kurt simply smiles back at her. He knows part of what Noah said is from the drugs but another part is from Noah's heart. Kurt looks from his boyfriend to his best friend, his two favorite people.

They stand like guards over Noah. Each one comforting the boy, making him feel safe for a while. They both touch him; rubbing his back, stroking his stripe of hair, letting him know they are there for him. They move to the chairs in the room once he is asleep. Kurt keeping his hand on Noah's forearm.

"Kurt I am so sorry for not understanding why you blew up in Glee that day. I had no idea until today that you are in love with Noah. And I can tell the white boy loves you too. When did it start?" Mercedes talks quietly to Kurt.

"You didn't know. No one knew. We didn't tell anyone because he wasn't ready and I didn't want _this_ to happen to him. I knew if they found out it would be bad for him, we thought we kept it a secret." Kurt smiles sadly at his best friend. He looks at Noah resting somewhat peacefully, a silent tear slips down his cheek.

"I know that Brittany and Artie knew Boo. They admitted that in the waiting room. I will bitch you out later for being able to tell the airhead and not me. But for right now I just want a few details of this secret romance. Sam said he saw Noah put a note in your locker, is that how it started?" Mercedes playfully pushes him.

"No. The first time we were together, we got in this huge argument. He admitted during our argument that he couldn't stop thinking about me. I don't know why but I kissed him. He was my first kiss Mercedes." He looks at her with a sheepish expression. He knows she is going to want more details later.

"_You_ kissed Puck?" Kurt nods his head yes at Mercedes. She just stares at him.

"He was so scared of what he was feeling. And I couldn't help him deal with it. I couldn't deal with it. We ignored each other for the next couple of weeks. Until he stuck the note in my locker. I knew I had feelings for him. So I took a chance. And I am glad I did." Kurt stops when he hears Noah start to groan in his sleep. He softly strokes Noah's cheek until the teen quiets.

Kurt thinks about what Noah told him.

Karofsky couldn't face him like a man. He looks at the bandage on Noah's head, knowing that it took almost killing him to render him totally helpless. It makes him so angry knowing that…that animal touched Noah…That he tried to…It makes Kurt sick at his stomach thinking about Noah being terrified at what was happening to him and that he couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop the torture of his body by any of them that night.

He remembers how innocent and scared Noah was about touching him. He wonders if they will lose that innocence. Being each other's first in so many different ways. Kurt didn't want to lose their innocence, the innocence of first love.

"I'm glad he has you Boo. It is going to be hard to work through what Karofsky tried to do to him. I could hear how scared Noah was and he still is. He's going to need you Kurt, really need you." Mercedes thinks about how this could change things between Kurt and Noah. She hopes it doesn't.

Both friends remain silent, each lost in their own thoughts. They fall asleep in the chairs for awhile.


	20. Nightmare: Revisiting the Hate

_I want to start off this chapter by saying that I have researched this topic, hate crimes….I was extremely shocked at how many supremacist groups flashed up before I actually found the information that I was looking for…So many different groups out there that say we don't need these laws to protect people that are different….Some groups blatantly offer that it is our own fault for shoving it down their throats…That if we hide what we are then we wont have to worry about being attacked…I don't want to hide and most of my friends don't want to hide either…love is love to me…It knows no gender….Be careful my friends…I knew the world was full of hate but I don't think I realized exactly how easy this hate was to access on the web under the disguise of something else….Peace my friends….I have spent the last few weeks researching the charges…They are all real…I am including the explanation of kidnapping because you don't have to ask for a ransom…Peace Hemmy_

**Chapter 20**

**Nightmare: Revisiting the Hate**

**Finn Hudson**-

Assault/First Degree

Aiding and Abetting Battery/First Degree

Criminal Intent

Conspiracy to Commit a Felony

Aiding and Abetting of Ethnic Intimidation

Aiding and Abetting a Kidnapping

**Santana Lopez**-

Aiding and Abetting Assault/First Degree

Aiding and Abetting Battery/First Degree

Criminal Intent

Conspiracy to Commit a Felony

Aiding and Abetting of Ethnic Intimidation

Aiding and Abetting a Kidnapping

**Dave Karofsky-**

Aggravated Assault/First Degree

Aggravated Battery/First Degree

Attempted Rape

Ethnic Intimidation of someone's religious beliefs

Kidnapping-

(kidnapping occurs when any person is unlawfully and non-consensually asported and held for certain purposes. These purposes include gaining a ransom or reward; facilitating the commission of a felony or a flight after the commission of a felony; terrorizing or inflicting bodily injury on the victim or a third person; and interfering with a governmental or political function (Model Penal Code § 212.1).)

**Azimio Adams, Jerry Henderson, Thomas Ward, Marcus Langenthol**-

Aggravated Assault/First Degree

Aggravated Battery/First Degree

Attempted Rape

Ethnic Intimidation of someone's religious beliefs

Kidnapping-

(kidnapping occurs when any person is unlawfully and non-consensually asported and held for certain purposes. These purposes include gaining a ransom or reward; facilitating the commission of a felony or a flight after the commission of a felony; terrorizing or inflicting bodily injury on the victim or a third person; and interfering with a governmental or political function (Model Penal Code § 212.1).)

Xxxx

The day before…The charges were filed, the warrants served, and the arrests were made of Dave Karofsky, Azimio Adams, Jerry Henderson, Thomas Ward, Santana Lopez, Marcus Langenthol, and Jacob Ben Israel. All suspects were now being held in the Lima County Juvenile Center under heavy security.

Detective Donovan had personally made all of the arrests. In three of the boys homes he found disturbing evidence of a Neo Nazi White Supremacist Organization lurking in Lima, Ohio. He found pamphlets spouting hate against Jews, Gays, Blacks, anyone that wasn't white and pure.

The parents of Dave Karofsky, Marcus Langenthol, and Jerry Henderson could not believe that their son's were being arrested for carrying out what they thought God wanted them to do. The parents spoke out in anger and ignorance…_The little queer fucker got what he had coming, too bad the ovens were broke that night, how the only good Jew was a dead Jew, America had gone to hell the day a Kike fag was better than their sons._ It chilled Donovan to hear adults spewing that type of hatred against a kid.

Threats were made against the kid's family. Against Burt Hummel and his family. How they were going to suffer just like Noah. In the end the fathers of the three were also arrested along with their sons.

xxxx

Detective Donovan and FBI Special Agent Connor meet with Burt the next morning. They all go to a private alcove on the fourth floor away from everyone. Donovan tells Burt that they now have all the suspect in custody and that the Federal Prosecutor is working with the State District Attorney's Office to try the case.

It has been decided by the State DA and the Federal DA's offices that the teenagers will be tried under the state guidelines of juvenile waiver. Once their juvenile sentence is completed they will be transferred to a medium or maximum security facility for the remainder of their sentence. It is a law that is used only in the most severe cases of felonies.

Special Agent Connor explains to Burt that all the charges being brought will carry terms of five to ten years or more total for each of suspects that were actually caught on tape taking part in the assault. The others; Jacob Israel and Santana Lopez, are looking at three to five years.

The charges range from Criminal Assault in the first degree, Criminal Battery in the first degree, Conspiracy to commit a felony, Aiding and Abetting, with the addendum that all was transpired due to a hate crime being committed by each of the defendants.

FBI SA Connor tells Burt that US Assistant Attorney William Fann is working with Judge Don Harrison to work out an acceptable plea agreements between the prosecution and the defense attorneys. The tape being the key factor in the case. Along with testimony from Jacob Israel and Noah, they have the evidence to send all of the defendants away; but a deal would make sure they go to jail and stay there.

"We need to get Noah's statement this morning Mr. Hummel. The fresher the events are the less likely he will forget something or get something confused. I know that this is difficult for everyone involved Mr. Hummel, but we need to make sure everything is done according to procedure. We don't want to give the defense any chance of an appeal." FBI SA Connor broaches the touchy subject of Noah's statement. He knows in cases like these the parents want to protect their child from reliving the nightmare, but it is something that has to be done.

"I understand Agent Connor. But I really don't see how he could get the events mixed up. It would be kinda hard to mix up the facts of what they did to him. Hell his body shows what they did to him." Burt hates the thought of Noah having to actually tell what happened to him, to think about what they did to him.

"I know Mr. Hummel. He could block it out of his mind consciously or unconsciously. We need to get those facts the sooner the better. The quicker we get this part over with the quicker Noah can begin to heal." FBI SA Connor hears the hesitancy in Burt's voice. "I know you care about him Mr. Hummel. If you didn't you would have agreed to become his guardian. Please let us do our jobs and put these sick animals behind bars where they belong."

"I don't want Kurt in there while you are questioning Noah. He has been through enough right now. I don't want him watching the guy he loves describe what they did to him. That's something they need to do alone, not with the cops listening and asking questions." Burt's voice is firm. He knows that Kurt is just as fragile as Noah. "I'll stay in the room with Noah while you are questioning him. If he wants to stop at any time, you stop. Got it?"

"Yes sir." Detective Donovan answers for both of them. He has kids of his own and he understands where Burt is coming from. He wouldn't want his kid to pushed into a breakdown. He looks at Connor to make sure he understands too.

"Let me get the kids to take Kurt out for breakfast or something. I know he cant go to school today. Give me just a minute." Burt stands to leave the small room.

"Mr. Hummel, there is no school today or for the rest of the week. The county school board is having a special meeting tomorrow night to address the allegations the kids made to their parents and to the media. It seems a lot of parents are upset over what happened to Noah and what could be happening in the school." Detective Donovan tells Burt. "It seems a lot of students came forward to their parents yesterday and the parents want answers. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to open people's minds."

"I know what has been happening at that school. The kids in the waiting room know what has been happening at that school. It shouldn't take something like this to open people's minds." Burt says as he walks out the door.

Burt walked by Noah's room. He looks in to see Brittany and Artie keeping Noah company. He listens for a moment hearing the blonde tell Noah to call him Papa Bear. The way he has been protecting all of them. Especially him and Kurt. It's like he is a real bear. Burt shakes his head as he heads towards the waiting room. He sees Kurt walking towards him.

"Hey Dad, the doctor said he wanted to talk to you in a few minutes. Something about going over Noah's detox regime. What's he talking about Dad? Detox? Isn't that something alcoholics go through? I know Noah has been drinking but he isn't an alcoholic. He told me he stopped drinking." Kurt rambles to his Dad. The lack of proper sleep and stress showing on his son's face.

"Kurt I will explain it later okay? Right now I need you and the rest of kids to go get something to eat. I want you to take your time. Detective Donovan and FBI SA Connor need to get Noah's statement. I DON'T WANT YOU IN THERE. Don't argue with me about it. Just listen to me and go with your friends. I will explain everything when you get back." Burt hates the look of hurt and confusion on Kurt's face but he is not going to back down from his decision.

"Dad you can't keep shutting me out of the bad stuff with Noah. He has been telling me what they did to him and yes it hurts like hell, but we are dealing with it. He needs me to be in there with him." Kurt is stronger than everyone thinks.

"Kurt I made my decision. You need a break, go have breakfast with your friends so I can deal with all this other stuff. And let them know that school has been canceled until Monday." Burt gives him that look of don't argue with me or else.

"Fine. I expect you to tell me exactly what is going on with Noah when this meeting is over." Kurt more or less stomps his foot for emphasis. He watches his father walk away and turns to go into the waiting room.

Burt walks over to the nurse's station telling them that he would wait for the doctor in Noah's room. He walks to the room asking the kids to leave so he can talk to Noah. Brittany and Artie tell Noah that they will be back soon and Brittany hugs Burt on the way out. Burt shakes his head at the gesture.

"Hey Mr. H. the doctor said he wanted to talk to you. Um, about the detoxing thing." Noah looks at his covers not wanting to look at the disappointment in Burt's face.

Burt walks over to Noah's bedside sitting in the chair Brittany had occupied just a moment before. "Noah look at me. I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't bother me that you were using drugs, but I think it is something we can work through."

Noah looks up at Burt in surprise. He was expecting him to start telling how disappointed he was in him, how he was just like his father. He doesn't understand the man sitting next to him. How he could care about someone like _him_?

"We are going to have some long talks about how to deal with problems, but not right now. Detective Donovan and FBI SA Connor need to get your statement this morning. I am going to be here with you. I told them that if you wanted to stop, then the interview was over. They think you will forget or get the events confused in your mind. I told them basically that there was no way you were going to able to forget what happened to you. But they don't want any thing to go wrong in this case, so that the animals that did this will go to prison." Burt watches Noah's face. So many emotions are flashing across his bruised face.

"If I tell them what happened will Karofsky, Finn and the others go to jail? I mean stay in jail." Noah's voice is a whisper. He is thinking about the possibility of the jocks going free.

Burt nods his head yes as the doctor walks in to the room.

"Hello. Mr. Hummel. Noah. I am truly sorry but I have a patient that is being prepped for surgery. I don't have a lot of time so I am going to make this short. Noah it seems you picked a dangerous drug to take…We are going to have to keep you on it, slowly reduce the dosage over the next few weeks until you are completely off of it…If we were to take you off of it cold turkey you would run the risks of seizures and possibly death. .

Your are going to experience extreme highs and extreme lows while you are coming off this medication…That is normal…I will have the nurse to explain it in more detail later…But as long as we wean you off the medication these symptoms should not be that great…And there are going to be several things that you are no longer able to ingest….Caffeine…Alcohol…Anything that could cause your body to experience a fake high…We will provide Mr. Hummel with a complete list of what you cant have…_His beeper goes off_…Again I am truly sorry that I don't have enough time right now to explain it further…Mr. Hummel Noah will receive his first dosage in a few minutes…And it is okay for him to have stronger pain medication if he needs it…But I have to go…I will try and stop by after I am done in surgery…." The doctor leaves in a flurry as Burt simply thanks him.

Before Burt and Noah can talk about what the doctor has told them, Detective Donovan and FBI SA Connor walk in to the room. Connor is carrying a portable video player. Burt knows this isn't going to go well.

"Noah, I'm Detective Greg Donovan and this is FBI Special Daniel Connor. We are hear to talk to you about what happened and to see if you are ready to give your statement."

Noah looks at both men with distrust in his eyes. He has never had any good dealings with the Lima Police Department. He was always being accused of something. He looks at Burt for some type of sign or signal that it is okay to trust these guys. Burt nods his head for Noah to talk to the men.

"Yeah I guess I can talk about it. What do you want to know?" Noah closes his eyes and tries to block out the world. He doesn't want to remember, he doesn't want to think about it.

"We would like to show you a video that Jacob Israel took the night of the attack. We really just need for you to identify your attackers and that the tape is accurate of what happened to you. Is that alright?" SA Connor's words hit Noah like a brick.

"A video of what happened to me? What the hell? Israel was filming what happened to me? What the hell Mr. H?" The panic is starting to rise in Noah. He doesn't want to see what they did to him, he didn't have to see it on a screen. He was there to feel it all.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the tape but I really didn't think they would bring it here today." Burt's voice is full of contempt for the officers. His eyes blaze with fury and disdain.

"Noah it seems that the Israel kid was being bribed/coerced into helping Ms. Lopez. It would seem that she wanted him to follow you to find out who you were dating/seeing instead of her. He followed you out to the creek on several occasions and took pictures of you and Kurt Hummel together. He was there when the attack occurred and he is turning evidence against Ms. Lopez and testifying to what he saw that night." Detective Donovan can tell this interview is not going the way they need it to by the way Noah is reacting to the news. Or the death glare Burt Hummel is giving both of them.

"Noah do you want to stop? We can stop this right now if you want. They can come back later or tomorrow. It's up to you son." Burt offers Noah a way out, to end the interview. He reaches out to Noah with his hand, offering it to the panicked teen. He watches as Noah's shaking fingers curl around his hand.

"Is it really going to make a difference what I say? They are teenagers like me wont they just go to juvenile hall and in a couple of months they're back at school? You have it on tape so why do I have to say anything?" Noah looks at the officers with fearful eyes. He knows how the system works. He has been in the system for years.

"Noah, if this was just a simple assault then yes, they would be out in a couple of months. But son what they did to you was Felonious Assault in the first degree committed during a hate crime which makes this case different and touchy. You have the federal government behind you in prosecuting this case. The charges against the ones that were actually involved in the physical assault are all felonies of the first degree being commited under the pretext of a hate crime. The main ones, Karofsky, Langenthol, Adams, Hudson, Ward and Henderson, are looking at ten years in prison.

Ohio has this little thing called juvenile waiver. Once they are of adult age they will be transferred to medium or maximum security facility to finish out their sentences. This will not end for them for a long time." FBI SA Connor hopes this information will help Noah to decide to do the right thing or at least try to do the right thing. "We need you to officially identify your assailants. We need to make sure that we follow the letter of the law with this case. If we make any mistakes they could have grounds to appeal the case. Can you do this for us? For yourself?"

"I know who did it. I was there. I go to school with them, play football with them, hell I was best friends with Finn Hudson for years. But if it will get you guys out of here and off my back then play the fucking thing!" Puck is starting to show instead of Noah, almost like a defense mechanism.

Burt watches the transformation happen. The once fearful eyes turn dark, the lines on Noah's face become harder. The grip on his hand becomes tighter. He is seeing Puck come out.

Agent Connor places the video player on Noah's table and pushes play.

Noah cringes at the small screen. He sees himself sitting there. Then he sees Karofsky hit him. He grips Burt's hand, his breath becoming labored as the video continues to play. He identifies Karofsky.

The tape continues to play for the next hour. Identifications are made of the other jocks. Shouting can be heard from the room. Expletives are being hurled out at the world. Some are from Burt aimed at the officers. A crash can be heard from the room. Burt's voice booms out.

"GET OUT NOW!"

The Gleeks were returning from taking Kurt to breakfast in the cafeteria when they heard Burt yelling at the officers. They watch as what looks to like a portable video player is being thrown from the room. What is left of it crashes against the wall.

Burt is fuming at the officers, the tape, and the jocks that could do that to one of their own. He has never been this angry in his life except when his wife died. He hated the world then. He hated himself. He even hated his late wife for leaving him. That was the last time he had felt a rage this strong. He walks out of the room behind the officers telling that if they have any more questions to contact his lawyer. He turns and walks back into Noah's room closing the door.

Kurt and the rest of the group stared open mouthed at what they had just witnessed in the hallway. They watched as the officers tried to clean up the shattered player before heading to the elevators. Kurt started to walk towards the closed door when Mike and Tina stopped him, each one placing a hand on his shoulders.

"Kurt your Dad closed the door after throwing those guys out. Give him some time alone with Noah. He closed it for a reason." Tina tries to reason with Kurt.

"Kurt you're going to have to trust your Dad when it comes to Noah. Something happened in there. Something that he feels he has to deal with right now. He will be out soon and tell you what is going on. Just try to be patient." Mercedes has never seen Burt Hummel that angry before. The way his face was completely red, the look in his eyes at the officers. The look that crossed his face when he was closing the door. Noah was in some kind of trouble with Burt. _God help that white boy_….

As they walk back to the waiting room, they can all hear the shouting resume in Noah's room.

Back in Noah's room…

Puck is in total control, not Noah. He is shouting the questions at Burt not giving the man a chance to speak. His face is contorted into a snarl, banging his head back against the pillow on his bed.

_**What gives them the right to ask me fucking questions like that?**_

_**How the fuck can they ask me if I wanted that son of a bitch to do that to me?**_

_**Did I enjoy what Karofsky was fucking doing to me?**_

_**Was I having an affair with Karofsky?**_

"Noah…Noah…You have to calm down. They are just doing their jobs." Burt is close to losing his cool with the irate teen. Even though he knows Noah has the right to be upset, it isn't doing anyone any good to throw a tantrum. Burt remembers what the doctor told them before he left. Noah was going to experience extreme highs and extreme lows. _I've got to get that list from the nurse. I got a feeling that agitation is on it as an extreme. _

_**Had I slept with any of the bastards involved? Was I in love with Finn? **_

_**My record is going to be held against me? **_

_**Being the town whore is going to be held against me?**_

_**How can they ask me if this was a **__**goddamn**__** joke being played on Kurt?**_

_**Why are they making me out to be the damn criminal in this?**_

_**I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME! **_

_**I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS SHIT TO HAPPEN!**_

"**NOAH PUCKERMAN! SHUT UP! NOW!**" Burt finally has had enough. "I am not going to tolerate this behavior. I wouldn't tolerate it from Kurt, **I AM NOT GOING TO TOLERATE IT FROM YOU!"**

Noah is staring open mouthed at Burt. He was used to his Ma screaming at him in a drunken rage, not to say Burt wasn't totally pissed at him right now. It was just different. It's a calm pissed…

"**You are going to calm down, stop cussing, be quiet and listen to me. Understand?**" Burt is pointing his finger at Noah, not threatening just with enough emphasis.

"Yes sir." The hard mask of Puck is dissolving away.

"Good. Son, they were doing their job, even though we both think they are assholes. They should never have brought the video with them. I wish to God I hadn't seen it. There is no doubt what those animals did to you, but their lawyers are going to ask those types of questions to try and get a not guilty verdict. If you blow up in the court room like this you could cause the animals to go free. You can't throw things in the court room. Hell neither can I." Burt chuckles softly at how good it felt to throw that damn machine against the wall. He looks at Noah and sees him try to hide his smile.

"Just because I agree with how you feel doesn't make it right for you to throw a tantrum like a two year old. You heard what the doctor said earlier, you are going to have extreme highs and extreme lows coming off the drug you took. Noah you are going to have to try to keep your emotions under control, to deal with what is happening to you. Son, this isn't going to get any easier for you or for me."

Noah cant believe that Mr. H keeps calling him son. One of his mother's loser boyfriend's had tried to call him son once, he broke the guy's nose. He took a hell of a beating, but the guy never called him that again. But he liked Mr. H saying it. It made him feel good, like he really meant it.

"Mr. H I'm sorry for cussing and yelling at you. I just couldn't take the questions anymore. I didn't ask for this…I didn't want this to happen to me. Watching what they did to me…It hurt…I don't mean like when it happened, but it hurt me in here.." Noah places a hand over his heart. "All I kept thinking was how they enjoyed hurting me so much. They were laughing at what they did to me. Their faces…It just hurt, you know?"

"I'm not going to lie and say that I know how you feel Noah, because I don't. When Kurt called me, I heard the terror in my son's voice. I knew something bad happened, but when I saw you hanging there with Kurt clinging to the only person that has ever made him happy except his mother…" Burt's eyes mist at thoughts of his late wife and how much Kurt loved her.

"I knew about you before this, I saw the two of you at the old mill…I never said anything to Kurt I figured he would tell me when he was ready…. I thought you were dead Noah...All I can say is that I haven't felt that kind of rage since I lost my wife, Kurt's mother. " Burt pats Noah's shoulder more to comfort himself than the teen laying in the bed.

Nurse Richards walks in to give Noah his medication and to check his bandages. Burt tells Noah to do what she says and to let her change _all _of his bandages, _without fighting her_. Burt tells them he is going to talk to Kurt and let him know what was going on. Nurse Richards looks at Burt and smiles, "I will take care of Noah."


	21. Heart of Dust

_Hey everyone! Got to thank Yuki Chan for all her input and the title…The only way I can describe this chapter….Words hurt, sometimes more than a physical hurt….Simple words can cause love to be thrown into the wind, never knowing if it will come back again….I will post more and the next chapter is going to be from Kurt….I have already started writing it….Peace everyone and please continue to follow the journey….Hemmy _

Chapter 21

Heart of Dust

Noah cooperates with the Nurse Richards, he knows what Burt told him is the truth. It is up to him to keep his emotions in control. He takes the medications that she offers to him, he wishes he had never taken the damn drug but he cant change it. He fights her only for a moment when she starts to pull up his gown but stops when he remembers Burt telling to him to let her do her job. Once she is finished she steps out of the room.

Burt pulls Kurt out of the waiting room to talk to him about Noah.

"Son there is something Noah has been doing that you don't know about, he has been using drugs. He told me and Nurse Richards yesterday before her shift ended. Don't be angry with him son, he was scared and he didn't have anyone to help him get through it." Burt sees shock flash over Kurt's face and then anger. He knows this wasn't the best way to tell Kurt, but there is so much going on right now. He watches as Kurt opens his mouth to say something, Burt holds his hand up stopping him so he could continue.

"He has been taking Xanax and drinking to help him cope with what was going on. He became addicted due to the high dosage he was taking and the alcohol only helped to increase the addiction. Kurt, he doesn't blame you. He blames himself, he wasn't strong enough to handle what was happening to him."

"I knew about the vodka but I didn't know about the drugs. I was too scared to help him Dad. I was too worried about myself to go to him." Kurt mumbles. Thoughts are starting to form in his mind, he pushes them away. "I knew something else was going on with him. I watched him pull further inside of himself, like he was trying to disappear. It was like he gave up, like he didn't want to try anymore. Why couldn't I help him Dad?"

"Kurt you are just a kid, you had no idea how to help Noah or yourself. When you guys are born you don't come with an instruction manual. You don't magically get a manual for being a teenager either. I wish we parents got one but we don't and we make the best decisions possible, just like you. Don't blame yourself for Noah making a bad choice, he has you and me now to help him make the right ones."

"I don't think you need a manual Dad. You have been like a rock in this whole thing. Brittany gave you a nickname, Papa Bear, and we are your cubs." Kurt looks at his father with a genuine smile. "You are fierce, loyal, and protective of all of us. Now do you want to tell me what the temper tantrum was about? We all saw the player shatter against the wall and heard all the shouting."

"They were only doing their job Kurt and Noah lost his temper. When he became upset so did I. And well it just escalated from there. In all honesty Noah knocked the player across the room first. I just kinda helped finish destroying it. They were showing Noah _the tape_." Burt flushes at the lame attempt to shift the blame to Noah's tantrum instead of his own. He doesn't want to talk about the tape, he doesn't want Kurt to see the boy he is in love with tortured that way.

"Tell me the whole story Dad. What tape and why did it upset Noah so much? And you for that matter?" Kurt stares at his father waiting for an answer. He watches his father shuffle his feet around for a minute. "Dad please, I saw what they did to his body and he has been telling me things that happened to him. Tell me."

"Some kid from your school, Israel I think is his name, taped what happened to Noah. He was too scared of what they would do to him if he called for help, but he came forward with the tape to Coach Sylvester at school. She turned it over to the authorities. Noah had to identify the jocks on the tape. And then they asked him a lot of questions that the defense would ask him. They were just doing their job, but we both lost our cool." Burt looks at Kurt's expression, it is totally dark.

"Jacob Israel taped the…he didn't call the police? That little bastard. That fucking little piece of shit. They could have killed Noah…" Kurt stops his rant with one look from his father.

"I already told Noah I wasn't going to tolerate this behavior from either one of you. Stop with the language. The Israel kid is going to prison just like the rest of them son. He has already confessed to his part in the crime." The look Burt gives his son is the one that says I mean business.

Burt see Nurse Richardson leave Noah's room and asks her to step into the waiting room if she had time. He wants her to explain the detox process to all the kids. He knows that _his cubs _are all going to be around Noah and it will help if they know what to look for if he starts having withdrawal symptoms and how to help him.

Everyone is gathered in the waiting room sitting around a table. She tells the kids and Burt if they have any questions to just simply ask them as she is going over the symptoms. Nurse Richards begins by explaining the drug Xanax and how it effects the brain's process of dealing with stress the GABA that is produced by the brain and by the Xanax itself.

"Now that we are slowly reducing the amount of Xanax that Noah is taking daily, some of the symptoms should not be as strong, but they will be noticeable. With everything that has happened to him, some of the symptoms will be more intense than others.

He is going to have nightmares due to what happened to him but taking him off the drug will/could heighten them. The severity of them, the realness of them, in other words when he is having a nightmare the most you are going to be able to do for him is reassure him that he is okay and that everything is going to be okay.

When you approach him let him know that you are behind him or that you are near him, he is going to be easily startled and the attack only compounds this symptom. Watch your body language make sure that it is not threatening, keep your hands at your sides.

Noah is going to be paranoid as well. Panic attacks will happen. He may think they are still after him or that they are going to get him or Kurt or any of you. All you can do again is reassure him, talk to him.

His emotions are going to be heightened at times. He will feel things stronger, more powerful. His moods can also shift without warning. He will go from extremely happy to extremely angry or overtly sad. Ordinary anger can turn to rage. Be careful around him during the mood swings, he could harm you or himself without meaning to do it.

He is going to suffer from the shakes, body tremors. Simple things like getting dressed, writing his name, eating can be complicated for him. He will have muscle spasms also. Most are experienced in the lower region of his body, but he can experience them anywhere in his body.

His vision may become blurred at times, just get him to relax and keep his eyes closed for a little while. Cold compresses can help.

He may have problems speaking, formulating his words or sentences. Don't correct him, let him work it out.

He may have trouble having an appetite or wanting to binge. Don't force him to eat a lot, just make sure he does eat something even if it is small.

There is a small possibility that he could have something similar to a Grand Mal siezure. Watch for these indicators of a seizure:

**Blackouts** **or periods of confused memory Episodes of staring or unexplained periods of unresponsiveness. Involuntary movement of arms and legs. Fainting spells, with incontinence or followed by excessive fatigue. Odd sounds, distorted perceptions, or episodic feelings of fear that cannot be explained.**

If you see him having what looks anything like a seizure **get him to a hospital**. He could die from it.

The more attention you bring to Noah's symptoms the more you will cause him to have anxiety and that will work against him.

In Noah's case there is something you all need to be prepared for, he is going to have flashbacks to what happened to him and the detox is only going to make them harsher, more real to him.

When he talks to you about the attack listen to him, listen to the words that seem to cause him more stress, more anxiety. They are the keys to what is going to trigger the flashbacks.

The short amount of time that Noah was taking the drug, some of these symptoms may not occur, but there is still the chance that they will. All that any of you, including you Burt, is be there for him. Talk to him. Don't patronize him. Be realistic with him. Don't coddle him either, he has to deal with this and accept what he is going through.

All of you have to be strong for Noah, to be able to be there when he breaks down, when he loses it. If any of you cant, then you don't need to be in his life right now. He needs strength from all of you and guidance from you Burt. Now any questions?"

Nurse Richards knows that she has just turned their worlds upside down but they needed to know what to expect. They need to know that this was not going to be easy. She stares at the kids watching their faces as they mull over the information that she just gave them. She wonders of any of them will walk away from Noah. She looks at Burt and sees his expression change from shock to determination.

"Um, how long is Noah going to have the symptoms?" Kurt is scared after hearing all the things that Noah may experience. _He could die… _(Kurt is beginning to freak out in his mind about Noah.)

"In Noah's case it will be hard to tell if the symptoms are from the actual detoxing of his body or if they are going to be related to the attack he suffered, but in most cases six months. He will have to be monitored by a doctor and Burt I am recommending that he get counseling too. He going to need professional help in dealing with the brutality he was made to suffer." Nurse Richards looks at the small, pale boy with sympathetic eyes. She has no doubt the young teen loves Noah.

"Cant they put Noah on some medication to help alleviate the symptoms? Like an antidepressant?" Rachel looks at the nurse with hopeful eyes. She knows there must be something, another drug that they could give him.

"Giving Noah another drug to help would only cause problems. We would basically be exactly where we are right now with Noah. He would have to get off the antidepressant at some point in time and go through this anyway. Most doctors do not like giving teenagers antidepressants, it is a part of your maturity to learn how to cope with life." She smiles a little at the dark haired girl. Everyone is quiet for a few minutes so nurse Richards turns to leave the waiting room. "Burt the doctor said that Noah could be released in a couple of days. I thought you might want to get your home ready for him. I have a list of the things that he cant have at the desk, mainly it is caffeine and any other type of stimulants. And absolutely no alcohol. Just stop by and pick it up."

"Thank you Nurse Richards. You have been a big help with Noah." Burt stands to open the door for her. He watches her leave the room. Burt turns to look at the kids.

"I agree with what Nurse Richards said. If you cant handle this, then you need to get out now. No one is going to hold it against you if you leave. I have a gut feeling that this detox thing is going to be rough as hell on Noah and on all of us. So if you need to leave now would be a good time to do it." Burt looks at each and every one of the kids. He is silently hoping that all of them will be there for Noah. Burt watches as Rachel stands.

"Mr. Hummel, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that none of us are going anywhere. We failed Noah once, we cant do it again. Right guys?" Rachel looks at her friends. They all shake their heads in agreement with her, even though a couple roll their eyes while they are doing it.

"Thanks kids. I know that Noah appreciates it too. I think I am going to go check on the garage and then go home to shower, change. I probably smell." Burt laughs a little. "Why don't you guys go home and get some rest. Clean up and then if your folks let you, you can come back." Burt thinks, _like the parents are going to stop these kids. _

"Why don't you go with your Dad? Me and Brittany will stay here with Puck. You need to get away for a little while Kurt. You need sometime with your Dad." Artie tell Kurt gently. He knows that Kurt trusts him and hopefully will listen to him.

"Kurt your Dad is going to need you when he goes home. Carole moved out remember, he is going to need someone with him when he walks into an empty house." Rachel places her hand on his shoulder.

"They are right Kurt. It would be easier if you were there." Burt looks pleadingly at his son. He really hadn't thought about what happened with Carole. But he really didn't want to walk into their home knowing his new wife wouldn't be there.

Kurt finally agrees to home with his Dad but only after Artie promised on the threat of dismemberment to call if something happened or changed with Noah. Kurt walks out of the waiting room and heads to let Noah he would be back soon.

"Hey." Kurt greets Noah walking into the drab hospital room. He stops at the foot of the bed. The thoughts are now pushing themselves to the front of his mind.

"I am going to go home for a little while. I need to clean up and so does Dad. Everyone is headed home except Artie and Brittany. They are going to stay with you."

Noah notices the way Kurt is just standing away from him, not getting any closer to him. He wonders what is going on, what he did wrong to upset Kurt.

"Sure, Artie and Britt are cool. Uh, Kurt what's wrong?" Noah holds his hand out for Kurt to take, but Kurt doesn't make a move any closer to him. Noah drops his hand back to the covers on the bed.

"I just need to…have some alone time. I need to think Noah. I just don't know how to take what my Dad told me." Tears form in the blue eyes, Kurt wraps his arms around himself. "A part of me just wants to scream at you, to punch you. Instead I am only going to ask you one question; did you want to be with me before or after taking the damn drugs?"

_Are you afraid? _

_The wind is calling for the departed to rise from the grave_

_They're searching for clues_

_there's nothing to find_

_when your chalk outline is all that remains_

Noah's eyes widen in shock. He knew that Kurt would find out about the Xanaxes but he didn't expect him to react like this, like he was going to walk away from him.

_I am not a fugitive_

_I just wanted to be free_

_from the secrets and the ghosts_

_that have been chasing after me_

_and if you find my cold remains_

_will you bury them with youin a field far away_

_from the damage that they do_

"Kurt I've wanted you since that day you crashed into me during practice. I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle all the feelings. I started taking the Xanaxes after the first time at the creek. I thought what we did was wrong, what I was feeling for you was wrong. But I couldn't stop thinking about you or wanting to be with you. The day I wrote the note I knew I couldn't stay away from you. I wanted you no matter how wrong it felt. I love you Kurt, no drug is ever going to change how I feel about you." Noah is scared of losing Kurt. He sees the distrust on Kurt's face and it tears his heart apart.

_The date on your tombstone, _

_the reaping that you've sown_

_it could have been different _

_but people don't change_

_life after death so let's both go there together_

"Wanting me felt wrong? Loving me feels wrong? Loving me…it made you want to take **DRUGS**? I...I need time to think on things Noah. Maybe you should too. I don't know if I can love someone who thinks what they are feeling is wrong or wait for them to take drugs again to deal with their feelings." Kurt knows that he is hurting Noah, but hearing Noah say what he was feeling was wrong, he cant help but feel the knife in his soul.

_Are you afraid? _

_the pressure's building_

_the ground is the future, _

_the past is the ledge_

_crossing the desert, _

_a desperate measure_

_but life will be better, isn't that what you said?_

"Next time could kill you and I don't want to watch you waste away along with my heart. What I feel for you I know is right, that it is natural. You think it is wrong, I don't know if we can be together. I got to go." Kurt turns to leave, each step pushing the knife deeper into his heart and soul. All the happiness, the joy was now slowly turning to dust in his heart.

_He's haunting him still, _

_he just wanted glory_

_but not every story is told on a page_

_I know what you did_

_You can't say 'nevermind' forever_

Burt hears his son's name being screamed by Noah along with the words _please don't go_. He starts walking towards Noah's door when Kurt tells him he is ready to go. The look on his son's face leaves no doubt that something bad happened in the room. He tells Artie and Brittany to go to Noah as he starts walking to the elevators where Kurt stood waiting for him.

Artie tells Brittany to go as he wheels himself behind her. He watches as she disappears into Noah's room. He can hear the hoarse screams become muffled, he knows Brittany has him now. Artie wheels himself into the room.

It takes them at least a half an hour to calm Noah down enough to find out what happened, what caused Kurt to take off. Both of Noah's friends tell him that he was lucky Kurt really didn't punch him. That he basically told Kurt that he couldn't accept having feelings for the younger teen.

_I am not a fugitive_

_I just wanted to be free_

_from the secrets and the ghosts_

_that have been chasing after me_

_and if you find my cold remains_

_will you bury them with you_

_in a field far away from the damage that they do_

_A/N the song is from Mark...Fugitive_


	22. No Turning Back

Hey everyone….This chapter was hard…first off…I have been extremely ill for the last couple of weeks….Seems I was on the verge of pnemonia…and then I had a reaction to the antibiotics…Make sure they check what you are allergic to before they issue you drugs…But I am getting better finally…This chapter opens up Kurt more and Noah too….The next chapter is being written now…I hope you stay with me on this journey…Peace my friends…Hemmy Special thanks to YukiChan for the title…and thanks to all of you who review and for the alerts…You guys are truly amazing….

Chapter 22

No Turning Back

Burt and Kurt ride the elevator in silence. Neither one speaking to the other. The media is like a circus outside of the hospital. So many camera crews, microphones being shoved in their faces. Burt manages to push him and Kurt past the media to his tow truck. Burt bypasses the garage wanting nothing more than to get home and find out what is going on with the boys.

The drive home is disgustingly slow. Kurt keeps his eyes looking out the side window, willing the tears to stay in his eyes. The words death and wrong keep playing in his mind like a mantra. Noah could die from the drugs that didn't make it wrong to love him. Kurt wants to scream so that the words will stop in his mind.

Kurt feels more than sees his dad turn into their driveway. He notices that the house looks okay, no slurs or damage. No media lurking in the street. When the truck comes to a stop he gets out and walks with his father to the front door.

Both Hummels take a deep breath before opening the door. Nothing is amiss in the house, it hasn't been ransacked or tossed about, it just feels empty to both of them. Burt notices pictures are missing, knic-knacs are missing around the living room, the touches of his new wife completely eradicated from his home. It is the same throughout the house. All traces of her or Finn are gone.

The Hummel men meet up in the kitchen. Burt goes to the refrig and grabs a beer and a bottle of water for Kurt.

"Here you and I need to talk. I want you to sit down and tell me what the hell happened in Noah's room. You are not allowed to leave anything out either Kurt." Burt sits down at the kitchen table and motions for Kurt to sit down across from him.

Kurt opens the bottle. He knows talking to his Dad is going to be difficult. He really doesn't want to have this conversation, but the tone of Burt's voice left no room for argument.

"He was doing drugs to be okay with loving me. That what he was feeling for me was _wrong_, that what we did was _wrong_. And no before you have a heart attack, I am still a virgin. He couldn't stop the feelings even though he _knew_ it was _wrong_. It translated to being _gay _with me was _wrong_, but he couldn't help himself. I don't know if I can keep being with him if he feels something that is so natural is wrong." Kurt stops for a breath, his face is flushed pink. He cant help the way his hands are trembling.

Burt raises his eyebrows at his son's rant, he can tell that is just a cover up of what is really wrong. It is part of the problem but not the biggest part. He waits for his son to sit back down again.

"Kurt you are rambling. Now like I said I want the truth. What happened in Noah's room?" Burt takes a drink of his beer and crosses his arms over his chest. Both Hummel's have the same mannerisms at times.

"Just what I said Dad. Loving me is wrong. He thinks its wrong. He could die thinking it is wrong. It's not wrong. I don't want him to die thinking it is wrong. I cant love someone that could die. I cant be with someone that…..is going to leave me…Like Mom…" The tears burst from the blue eyes. Kurt buries his face in his hands, the sobs erupting from his small frame.

Burt gently strokes his son's back. He knows that Kurt is afraid of losing Noah. Hell he couldn't lie, when Nurse Richards talked about the seizures and that he could die from them, it scared the life out him. But she said it was a slight chance and they had to hold on to that hope.

"Kurt look at me son." Burt gently lifts Kurt's chin up and around to look at him. "Noah is strong, he is going to make it. The nurse said it was a slight chance, not a good chance. We know what to look out for if he does have a seizure, we aren't going into this blind."

"Now as far as Noah thinking that being in love with you is wrong…I don't believe that, not after watching the two of you together the last twenty four hours. He loves you…A blind man could see that no problem…And I know that you love him…Kurt you have to remember that he didn't grow up with a family that would accept him for who he is, they wanted him to be what they needed or wanted him to be…" Burt stops Kurt from speaking by shaking his head at the teen.

"Listen to what I am telling you Kurt. I have read the books and watched some of the videos on the net…Very few kids have a father or mother that will accept them being gay…Society doesn't really accept homosexuals, voters prove that as well as our elected officials….

Noah grew up thinking and being taught that being gay was wrong…That he was suppose to love a girl/woman….Not another guy….I have heard the stories about him…The cougars, Quinn and the baby, all the girls at school…Being a bully…He was trying to be what everyone wanted him to be, not who he really is inside…The drugs made living bearable for him…It didn't change or influence how he feels about you…"

"Dad I don't know…It pissed me off and it hurt me…You know I thought I finally found someone that I could be happy with, that would love me…That I could have a relationship with…and now…He could die…I don't think I could survive losing someone again…I almost didn't survive losing Mom…It still hurts and I miss her so much…I don't want to feel this pain again…" Kurt's anguish is showing in his eyes and his soft pale face.

"Your mother and I were young when we first met. We were like you and Noah, in high school. I was older than her; a jock, a party animal. Your mom was this sweet, kind, graceful creature. She was the most beautiful girl in the whole school. It took me two months before she would agree to go out with me. Once I went out with her I started to change. I didn't want to do the same things anymore. I wanted to be with her instead of partying all the time or hanging out with the guys. I caught I lot of grief from "my friends" over being whipped by your mother. She taught me how to love, how to be a better person. She also taught me how to fight for what I wanted, not to give up. You could teach Noah, take a chance on him like she did on me." Burt watches his son's face trying to gauge a real reaction. He sees the stubborn set of his jaw and a façade settling in his features. He hates to do this but….

"Son…I tried nice now I am going to be straight up with you….You are going to get mad at me but that's what teenagers do with their parents…You told me that you walked away from Noah each time he needed you…That you were more worried about _yourself_ and how it was effecting _you_…And now you are doing it again…You want to make excuses to be mad at him, to be able to walk away from him again…You promised that boy that you wouldn't walk away from him….I stood in the doorway and listened to the two of you promise each other to be there, not to walk away….And now because he could die, you want to walk away from him so you don't get hurt…**Well guess what you walk away now and it will hurt you the rest of your life…It will eat away at you that you weren't there for him…Kurt don't shut Noah out…Don't make him go through this alone…You are going to hurt him so deeply that he wont recover from it….Remember it's not all about YOU Kurt…This is about Noah too…" **Burt sees the anger flash across Kurt's face. He hit a nerve.

"I know this is about Noah! You make it sound like I am only thinking of myself! That I am being a selfish brat!" Kurt's face is in fused with anger and disbelief at what his father just said to him.

"Kurt you _**are **_only thinking about yourself. You are so scared of being hurt, of Noah dying that you are willing to hurt him instead of yourself. To me that is pretty selfish." Burt rubs his hand over his face. "Kurt we all are going to die sometime. Including me. We don't have any control over when it happens. Your mother was taken away from you when you were too young to handle it. Too young to understand that these things happen. I know what it did to both of us to lose her. I almost let it destroy me and you. But I would never want to go back in time to change being with her, loving her. I have the memories of your mother, the good times and yes the ones that aren't good. But I don't regret being with her. You will regret not being with Noah." Burt stands placing his hand on Kurt's shoulder. 'I am going to take a shower and rest for a little while. You need to think about what you really want and what is really best for you son. I love you."

Kurt nods at his father unable to speak. He watches him head towards the hallway bath and step inside. Kurt takes his water and heads to his room downstairs. He knows what his father said is true. But it doesn't make it any less painful.

He walks over to his laptop opening a file that was password protected against prying eyes. Pictures of Noah at the creek fill the screen. Noah sitting beside the creek smiling. A picture of their hands intertwined. A picture of them sitting together. There are many more pictures. The one thing they have in common…Kurt can see the love in Noah's eyes for him…The façade cracks and the sobs begin to slip past his lips. He reaches for his IPOD, playing Bette Midler, the song fills the room and his heart.

_Some say love, it is a river_  
_That drowns the tender reed_  
_Some say love, it is a razer_  
_That leaves your soul to bleed_

_Some say love, it is a hunger_  
_An endless, aching need_  
_I say love, it is a flower_  
_And you, it's only seed_

__

It's the heart, afraid of breaking  
That never learns to dance  
It's the dream, afraid of waking  
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken  
Who cannot seem to give  
And the soul afraid of dyin'  
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely  
And the road has been too long  
And you think that love is only  
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember, in the winter  
Far beneath the bitter snows  
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love  
In the spring, becomes the rose

Burt walks down the stairs and watches Kurt stare at pictures flashing across the screen. He reaches down and pulls Kurt up from the chair into a hard hug.

"You know that was one of your mother's favorite songs. We used to dance to it in the living room. She said it held a lot of truth about love and what it can do to people." Burt's voice fades as his own tears slip down his cheeks. He cries for Kurt's mother and he cries for Carole. Father and son simply stand there until their tears finally stop.

"Thanks Dad. I'm gonna go shower." Kurt slips from his father's grip and turns towards the bathroom. He stops just before he reaches for the doorknob. "I love you Dad." The words are soft, but in the quiet room they sound like thunder to Burt's ears.

Burt watches him close the door and wipes the tears away from his own face.

They spend a few hours at the house, eating, sleeping, and thinking.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mercedes is the first to return, her mother dropping her off at the employees entrance around back. Her mother offered no argument against going back to the hospital. Mrs. Jones knew that it would be impossible to argue with her daughter.

Mercedes was greeted by Artie in the hallway. He tells her what happened with Noah and Kurt, the words, the screams, the fact that it took them thirty minutes to calm Noah down enough to talk.

Mercedes tells Artie she will be fine with the white boy, that she can handle him until Kurt comes back. Artie says if he comes back with a shake of his head. They watch Brittany walk out of the room, she looks upset.

"What's the matter Britt?" Mercedes is looking concerned by the expression on her face. The blonde looks like she is going to cry and Mercedes thinks that is a bad thing. The girl never cries.

"Noah is just laying there. He wont talk. He wont look at me. He just keeps looking out the window. And he is crying without making any noise, not even wiping away the tears. He's scaring me Mercedes. He's shutting down again." Brittany reaches out for Artie's hand needing something to hold on to.

"You two go home and get some rest. I will stay with him and try to get him to talk to me." Mercedes does something she never thought she would, she hugs Brittany close and promises to take care of Noah. She tells them both bye as she walks into Noah's room.

"Hey Noah. I'm going to stay with you until everyone gets back. Do you need anything?" Mercedes watches the quiet figure laying in bed. The only response is his chest rising and falling with his breath. She walks around to the head of the bed, looking down she sees the tears slip from his cheeks onto his pillow. Shaking her head she turns and walks to the small bathroom in the corner of the room wetting a soft wash cloth. The wash cloth is cool in her hand as she steps back to the head of his bed.

"Noah I don't know what is going on…If you want to talk to me you can…I wont tell Kurt what you say to me…" She takes the cool cloth and begins to tenderly wipe the tears away and press it against his forehead. "I know that I am the biggest gossip in the club, but you need to talk to someone…"

Noah doesn't want to talk, he just wants to disappear again. To stop hurting, to stop wanting someone that keeps walking away from him. He keeps looking out the window, but all he sees are the times they spent at the creek. He feels a soft hand stroking his stripe of dark hair. He doesn't realize when his words are spoken out loud.

"He's just like everyone else. He walked away. He wouldn't let me explain. He wouldn't let me finish. The drugs weren't about him Mercy, they were about me. I kept hearing Finn accuse me of being gay when we were in middle school. I kept hearing my Dad's voice talk about gay people. He hated them, thought that God should "take care of them". Noah speaks in monotones, he continues to look out the window.

"I have been with so many girls, cougars none of them ever came close to what I feel for Kurt. If you want to know the truth, I felt sick after fucking Quinn. She wasn't who I wanted to sleep with, it was Kurt. I've liked Kurt since last year, he was the real reason I joined Glee. I just used baby gate with Quinn as a cover. And when Finn threw him into me that day, I knew he felt the way my body reacted to him. He never said anything to me about it. I wanted to touch him again but in my mind the only way I could touch him was to bully him again. I know that's sick and twisted but it's the truth." Noah turns to look into her dark eyes needing to see understanding there.

"I know. You were always there, around Kurt. But I never thought you liked _liked_ him. I just…I don't know what I thought…Maybe we, the group, were just used to you being there." Mercedes continues to stroke his hair, she knows it helps to calm him. "I'm sorry that I didn't see what was going on Noah. And I'm sorry that Kurt is acting this way. I know the boy loves you as much as you love him."

"I know what I feel for him is real and I know that it's okay to love him. He doesn't know it, but he's the reason I knew it was okay. I cant keep hurting Mercy. I cant. Every time he walks away from me hurts more than the last time. I just cant take it anymore." Noah looks back out the window.

"Noah you've been through so much the last few weeks. _You and Kurt_….The assault…. The drugs….The nurse told us that your emotions were going to go crazy, that you would have mood swings….You cant let this break the two of you up…It wouldn't be fair to either one of you…Just give it time to work out…" Mercedes wipes his cheeks again. He doesn't answer her. She watches the emptiness return to his eyes as they close. _Brittany was right, he is shutting down._

Mercedes stays with Noah until Sam and Quinn arrive. She pulls them out into the hallway letting them know that Kurt and Noah had a disagreement. She tells them that she thinks Noah is asleep now but she isn't sure, he hasn't spoken in over an hour.

The others begin to wander back in to the waiting room. Tina and Mike have brought a deck of cards with them. Rachel brought Scrabble, just in case they got bored sitting around. Artie and Brittany bring snacks and bottled water for everyone.

Each one takes a turn walking in Noah's room to see if Mercedes wants a break or if Noah is awake yet. She tells them all that she is okay and that she will let them know if he wakes up.

Burt shows up with Kurt a while later. Neither one looks any better for the wear. Kurt heads for Noah's room while Burt goes to the rest room.

Kurt is met at the door by a very unhappy Mercedes. She tells Kurt to leave Noah alone, to let him rest. She looks over at Burt who is walking out of the restroom and motions for him to come in the room. When he walks into Noah's room Mercedes grabs Kurt's arm and pulls him into the waiting room. He squawks at being denied access to Noah's room and tries to pull away from the iron clad grip on his arm.

The group of friends in the waiting room see the grimace on Mercedes face and ask if she would like them to leave, to which she replies _hell no_. She wants everyone to hear what she says so that there is no misunderstandings.

"Mercedes I don't know what going on, but I need to see Noah. I need…" He is rudely interrupted by a long fingernail pointing at him and Mercedes voice.

"No what you need to do is listen Boo. I don't know what the hell is going on in that pretty head of yours but what you are doing to Noah is making him shut down. You keep walking away from him. That is hurting him more than you can understand. You didn't even give him a chance to explain, you just took off." Mercedes looks at him with fierce eyes daring him to say something.

"He talked to me about what happened between you two. You know he loves you. I'm not going to tell you what he said to me, I told him I wouldn't, but you are breaking that boy.

He hasn't said anything in over two hours. He either keeps his eyes closed or he stares out the window. He doesn't say anything. He is shutting himself down. He doesn't want to feel anymore, the pain is too much for him Kurt.

So whatever is going on in your head you need to straighten it out fast before you lose him totally."

"Kurt did you break up with Noah? You finally find someone that makes you happy and you want to throw it away?" Rachel stares at Kurt in disbelief, hand on her hips. She begins on a rant. "You need to be there for him Kurt, not hurting him. He needs you Kurt just as much as you need him. I am in total agreement with Mercedes. Straighten you head out and go back in there and apologize."

"Kurt I thought you were happy with Noah. That you found someone to love you. I know how much I love Mike and there is no way I would throw it away. I would fight for it. Why aren't you fighting for what you want?" There are tears in Tina's eyes as she thinks of how much it would hurt to lose him.

Mike wraps his arms around Tina kissing her on top of the head. "Dude, when Puck's Dad left him it almost killed him. You keep calling him Noah, I haven't seen Noah since his Dad left. If being with you brought Noah back then why do you want to destroy him? You love him and he loves you isn't that enough?"

"Would everyone please back the hell off! I have already had my ass handed to me by my Dad. I know what I did was wrong! I am going to try and fix this. I just don't know what I am going to do or say to fix it. But it is my problem not yours. Now if you will excuse me…." Kurt stomps out of the waiting room heading to Noah's room.

Burt watches Kurt walk into the room. Noah has ignored him since he walked into the room. He didn't push Noah to talk to him, he just sat there quietly talking to him. He stops when Kurt quietly asks him to leave the room.

Kurt tries for fifteen minutes to talk to Noah. He apologizes for not listening to him, for walking out, for hurting him. Noah doesn't answer him, he keeps looking out the window at the storm brewing outside.

US Assistant Attorney William Fann and Detective Donovan appear at the doorway of Noah's room along with Burt. "Kurt would please excuse us, these gentlemen need to speak with Noah in private."

Kurt isn't happy about having to leave the room, but he does what his father asks of him and leaves the room.

"Noah I would like to apologize for Detective Donovan's behavior earlier. He and FBI SA Connor have been reprimanded for stepping outside the box so to speak. They should never have questioned you in that manner, nor should they have used the tape in identifying the assailants." Mr. Fann stops for a moment to allow Noah to either comment.

"As long as the bastards go to jail I don't care." Noah's voice is flat, he barely looks at the attorney.

"That is another reason we are here today Noah. Finn Hudson was attacked earlier and he has been admitted to this hospital. He was severely beaten in the shower room of the juvenile facility." Mr. Fann sees the terror flash across Noah's face. "He is under twenty four hour guard and we are going to place a guard on your door as well. We want to make sure that you are protected and that he survives for trial….And that brings up something else I need to speak to you about."

"Wait a minute. Finn was attacked? How bad is it?" Burt asks the attorney, his voice full of worry. He still loves Carole and knows this must be killing her.

"He has three broken ribs, a broken nose, and internal bruising. He will live to face the consequences of his actions Mr. Hummel. He shouldn't be in the hospital but a couple of days." He looks at Noah trying to gauge why the boy isn't freaking out about the close proximity.

"I want to see Finn." The words are spoken loud and clear from Noah.

"Son, I don't think that is a good idea. I don't think you really want to do that." Burt looks at Noah like he has lost his mind.

"Noah, it isn't a good idea for you to talk with the person that set you up to be assaulted." Mr. Fann hopes that they can change his mind. "It is highly irregular for the victim to talk to.." Mr. Fann is cut off my Noah.

"I don't care what is acceptable or what is a good idea. I want to talk to Finn. It's not like I can hit him or anything." Noah holds up his bandaged hands. "I just need to do this Mr. H. Please?"

"Noah I don't understand why you feel like you need to do this. Can you explain it to me?" Burt needs to hear a valid reason for letting this fragile teenager talk to the person responsible for him being in the hospital.

"Because I have to know why. I have to know why he did this to me. Why he hates me so much…I just got to know why Mr. H…" Noah looks at Burt hoping that even though he cant put it into words that maybe the older father figure will understand.

"I think I understand part of your reasoning, but listen to what Mr. Fann has to say about it first. If it doesn't hurt the case, then I will personally take you down there myself. Okay?" Burt waits for Noah to agree.

"Thanks Mr. H."

"Noah this isn't a good idea. What he tells you we cant use against him in court. That was why I stopped by to talk to you today. We are working on making deals with Finn Hudson, Santana Lopez, and we have already made a deal with Jacob Israel." Mr. Fann sees the expressions change on Burt and Noah's faces. "Mr. Israel has agreed to testify against the rest in exchange for one year to be served at an undisclosed juvenile detention center and two years of supervised probation that includes extensive psychological therapy. Ms. Lopez is looking at three years, two to be served at a juvenile detention center and one year at a medium security prison. We are offering the same deal to Mr. Hudson. But they have to agree to testify against the other five assailants."

"Why are you offering them deals? You have the tape. Noah can testify. The Israel kid is testifying. So why offer them a deal?" Burt is getting close to losing it with Mr. Fann, Federal Attorney or not, it was like he didn't want to try the cases.

"Mr. Hummel the problem with trying hate crimes is the jury. They can have their own ideas of what justifies hate. They might not like Noah because of his past, the fact that he is Jewish or the fact that he is gay. There are too many variables in this case to really risk it. If we can make deals with actual time being served then we/you are winning." Mr. Fann hopes that he is getting through to both of them. He looks at Detective Donovan for help.

"Noah I looked up your file at the station. All I can say is that you have been busy. You were constantly in trouble. You didn't have a father figure in your life. The fact that you gave up your child. The sex with cougars, your pool business. They will dredge up every detail of your life, all the hidden things you want to keep secret. The defense will use it against you. I'm not judging you Noah just telling you the truth. If we can get them to go for a deal then we avoid all the nasty stuff in your past." Detective Donovan waits for either Noah or Burt to start yelling again. He is surprised that an eerie quiet fills the room.

"Yeah I know I have fucked up most of my life. Didn't have a father around to teach me shit. You know I think he knew I was gay. He said I was the reason he was leaving…That I wasn't ever going to be a man or man enough for him." Noah fights back the anger that is creeping into his voice.

"After he left, my Ma found her soul mate in the bottom of a bottle. The more she drank, I became less and less to her. She blamed me for the asshole leaving us. You know they say that words hurt more than fists….They are right….You have the one person that is suppose to love you no matter what, tell you that you are a mistake…That you are an abomination to God…See how your life turns out.." The bitterness drips from Noah's voice. At that moment he hates his mother, his father. He looks at Burt and sees the kind of father that he could have had and he hates them even more.

No one noticed Kurt standing in the doorway until his loud voice fills the room.

"You are not a mistake Noah and you sure as hell aren't an abomination to God either! You are the man I love! The man that I want to be in my life!"

"They why do you keep walking away from me Kurt? Why do you keep doing what everyone else has done to me? You say you love me, then it gets…I don't know because you wont tell me…I don't know what I keep doing wrong…**I don't know what I keep doing wrong that makes everyone leave me or hate me!**" Noah is yelling at Kurt. All the hurt, the anger spilling out with the words.

Burt and the other two men just stare at the boys. No one says a word. It seems as if they all understand this needs to happen and not to try and stop it.

"**THE NURSE SAID YOU COULD DIE! I CANT LOSE YOU LIKE THAT! I CANT LOSE ANOTHER PERSON I LOVE THAT WAY!**" Kurt yells at Noah. His voice equally filled with anger and hurt.

"**What are you talking about Kurt? What do you mean I could die?**" Noah is shocked at what Kurt is saying to him. No one has said anything to him about dying.

"**You can have seizures that can kill you! **The drug you took one of the withdrawals is having seizures. The chance is small, but it is still there Noah. I cant lose you like I did my mother. I don't think I would survive it. I don't want to lose you to anything. I don't want to picture my life without you in it." Kurt's voice trails off to barely a whisper.

Noah reaches for Kurt, both hands extended out for Kurt to take. Kurt hesitates for a moment looking at his father. Burt gives a look that says it all, _get your ass over there_. Kurt goes to Noah, the thought of running away chased away by the warmth of Noah's arms that wrap around his cold, trembling body. No words are spoken by the boys, just being held by each other is enough for them.

Burt walks the attorney and the detective out of the room to give the boys some privacy. "I know you don't approve but I am going to take Noah to see Finn. I think listening to Noah just now you understand too."

Mr. Fann shakes his head in agreement, "yeah I do. That boy needs answers for his own peace of mind. And I will let the officers know to expect you." Both men shake hands as the officials turn to walk towards the elevator.

Burt walks back into the room. He clears his throat so the boys know he is in there.

"Noah whenever you are ready I will take you down to see Finn." Burt watches the confusion on his son's face. "Kurt, Finn was attacked earlier at the juvenile center. The beat him up pretty bad, they are keeping here at the hospital for a couple of days. They have guards on his door and Noah is getting one stationed just outside of this door."

"Why do you want to see Finn? Hasn't he hurt you enough?" Kurt cant believe that Noah wants to see Finn, not after everything he put Noah through.

"I need to see him Kurt. I need to find out some things from him. I know you don't understand, but I have to do this for me." Noah's voice is strong.

"I will wait for you here. I don't want to see the person that caused us both so much pain, that caused you to be here in the hospital." Kurt cant be in the same room with Finn, he thinks Finn got exactly what he deserved with the beating. And maybe it wasn't enough either.

"Noah, I will go and get the nurse." Burt leaves the room.

"Noah I'm…" Kurt is cut off my Noah.

"Kurt, I know you're sorry. But I want you to know something, if you walk away from me again…That's it…I cant keep hurting like this…Not knowing what I did wrong….It hurts too much….I love you Kurt…Nothing is going to change that, except you…" Noah looks at the blue eyes hoping Kurt never walks away from him again. But he knows he cant keep feeling like this either.

"Noah, I want this to work…" Kurt leans forward and gently presses his lips against Noah's for the first time since the attack. He feels Noah flinch, but he also feels Noah returning the kiss.

They break away when Burt clears his throat. They look up and see Burt and Nurse Richards with a wheel chair in front of them.

"Are you ready Noah?" Nurse Richards asks in quiet way. Burt told her what was happening and she did understand what Noah needed to do. He needed to face a demon, to stare it down.


	23. I AM NOT A COWARD

_Hey Everyone! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! The alerts! It makes my day as an author to read them! Now on to this chapter…Some of you asked me how could Noah have any questions for Finn…The victim always wants to know why it happened to them…So this chapter is mixture of drama, angst, and I did manage to find a way to put a little bit of comedy in it…I hope you all enjoy it…Peace and I hope you continue on the journey with me….Hemmy _

Chapter 23

I AM NOT A COWARD

Nurse Richards, Burt and Noah head out of the room. He is bundled in a blanket to keep him warm and covered, his IV disconnected for the trip to the other floor. Sitting up hurts but he just grits his teeth against the pain. There are too many questions that he needs answered to just give in to the pain.

Brittany is the first one out the waiting room door running to Noah, "look he's got a chair like you Artie", she squeals out. The rest of the group follow her out the door. She almost knocks Burt out of the way running to Noah.

Noah feels overwhelmed as his friends run up to him, greeting him with hellos and how great it was to see him out of the bed. Each of the girls tenderly hug him and kiss on the cheek. He blushes at the attention from them. The guys stand off from him and that scares him. _Are they afraid of me? Afraid to touch me?_

Sam is the first to walk up to him, "uh is it okay if we guys hug you too, as long as we don't hurt you?" Sam saw the fear in Noah's eyes when he looked at the guys. He remembers being attacked at his other school, it made him skittish for weeks and it was nowhere as violent as it was for Noah.

"I..I guess…" Noah is rocked by the emotion in Sam's eyes, the openness, the honesty. He feels Sam's arms grip him in a bro hug. He cant help but lean it to a little bit. Mike follows and he does the same with him. Thanking Mike in a small quiet voice for being there for him. Artie holds his hand out for his friend to take the best way he can, smiling softly as the former badass grips it between bandaged hands. _My real friends_.

"Um guys, I have to go somewhere…I will be back in a little while….Keep Kurt busy for me?" Noah looks at Mercedes in particular hoping that she understands the look he is giving her.

"Sure thing white boy. You go do whatever it is you need to do, we will keep Kurt busy. Rachel brought Scrabble. He thinks he smarter than the rest of us, so he can prove it while your gone." She laughs at her own joke as the rest of the kids nod their heads in agreement. She nods at Noah letting him know she understands.

Sam picks up on the silent communication between Mercedes and Noah. He waits until everyone is heading to Noah's room to get Kurt to follow behind Noah's chair for a little ways. When Burt spots him he walks up to Noah.

"Do you want me to go with you to see Finn?"

Noah looks at him dumbfounded, he doesn't know how Sam could possibly know where he is going. Kurt didn't have enough time to tell him.

"It was on the news. They didn't release his name but I figured it out by the way you were looking at Mercedes, that something was up. So I put it together. So do you want me to go with you?" Sam isn't as dumb as everyone would like to believe or as naive. He smiles at Noah.

"Sam this is something that I have to do on my own. I don't know if you can understand that, no one else can except maybe Burt." Noah shakes his head at his friend.

"I understand better than you think Noah. But I still want to go with you. I wont say a word, I will just wait for you by the door. Burt needs to talk with Carole and I'm sure Nurse Richards could probably use a coffee break." He smiles at Burt and winks at the nurse. Burt growls, but nods. Nurse Richards blushes and looks away.

"You're not going to let me do this alone are you Sam?" Noah looks at Sam shake his head no at him. "Okay you can go, but you stay out of it. No matter what you hear you keep those fish lips closed got it?"

"Now that is the Puckerman I know. I wont say a word while you are in there or when we get back. This is your business, I'm just here in case you need me. That's all." Sam looks at Burt who mouths a silent thank you to the blonde.

The elevator ride is quiet as well as the walk down the hallway to Finn's room. The group is greeted by the deputies on guard outside of the room. They have to radio in and ask about Sam entering the room, but they are given the okay after Burt vouches for the boy. Nurse Richards gives Noah's shoulder a gentle squeeze as she steps away from the wheel chair and Sam steps in behind it.

Burt sees Carole at the nurses station. He bends down to Noah's ear whispering, "I'll be right here son if you need me, just send Sam after me." He presses his forehead against Noah's head before walking towards Carole.

Both boys take deep breaths before Sam wheels him into Finn's room. Finn is handcuffed to the bed, his face battered and black. His lip is split and a splint lines up his nose. His blacked eyes are closed as Sam walks back to the doorway to stand.

Noah is at the foot of the bed just looking at his former best friend, his former brother. Noah hears the thunder rumble outside of the window, the storm is getting closer. He watches Finn's eyes flicker open and the recognition that he sees him in the room.

"What the hell are you doing here? Where's my mom?" There is terror in Finn's voice.

"She's with Burt. Don't looked scared Finn, its not like I can hurt you." Noah holds up his bandaged hands, the words drip with sarcasm. "I just wanted to ask you some questions. And then I will be gone, from your life, forever."

"What the fuck could you ask me Puck?" Finn pulls against the handcuffs. He sees the feral look in Puck's eyes, the animalistic predatory look in the sharp hazel eyes.

"Do you remember when we were eight and we built that fort in your backyard? We used all the scraps of wood and cardboard we could find, we robbed the neighborhood. Do you remember that?" Noah looks at Finn waiting for him to lie about the memory.

"Yeah I remember so…" Finn frowns at the memory, the fun they had building that stupid fort.

"Do you remember the first time we tried out for football? The coach just wanted me, but I wouldn't be on the team unless you were? Do you remember that Finn?" The anger is building more in Noah's voice, the slight quaver in his words.

"Yeah I remember! I fucking remember our childhood Puck! All the times we hung out together! All the times…." Finn cant say the rest of that sentence, his stomach clenched in knots. "You fucking ruined it all Puck! **You turned into a QUEER! FOR KURT! YOU FUCKING FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM!**"

"**FUCK YOU FINN! I DIDN'T RUIN IT FOR US! YOU DID! I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU! EVERY FUCKING TIME SOMETHING WENT WRONG, I WAS THERE FOR YOU!**" Noah is yelling the words at Finn. He slams his fist against his chest.

"**THE ONE FUCKING TIME I NEEDED YOU THERE FOR ME, YOU LEFT ME THERE WITH THOSE BASTARDS! YOU LEFT ME THERE FINN! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO YOU? WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE YOU HATE ME SO FUCKING MUCH THAT YOU SET ME UP?**" Noah is shaking with rage, tears falling down his flushed cheeks.

"**YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH KURT! I COULD FORGIVE WHAT YOU DID WITH QUINN! BUT NOT KURT! YOU DIDN'T LOVE QUINN!**" Finn shouts the words at his former best friend.

"That summer before we started high school do you remember that Finn? The day you accused me of being gay? **DO YOU FUCKING REMEMBER THAT DAY?**" Noah is beginning to understand something he doesn't want to about Finn.

"**Yeah! I guess Brittany was your beard back then!**" Finn shuts his eyes against the memories that are flooding his mind.

"**Because of you! **I didn't know what I wanted back then. Except that I wanted you as my best friend Finn! I didn't have any other feelings for you except as my brother! **You kept telling me I was gay that day! **How much **YOU KNEW I WANTED YOU!** **But I didn't love you that way!**" Noah feels his heart breaking all over again. The hurt and anger from that day still fresh as when it happened so long ago.

"**You created Puck that day Finn!** Did you know that? Did you know that you created the person you hate so much? The monster… the bully… you created it… that took everything from you! **I became what you wanted to be!**

I was the top of the food chain at school. The guy who got pussy just from smiling at a girl. You may have been the QB but I was the leader of the team. I had the precious popularity you craved and you know what _**I really didn't want it**_. **I just wanted to be me!**" Noah lets go of all the pent up anger, the things he has wanted to say for so long. "**All I wanted was a chance with Kurt. A chance to fall in love with him**. **What the fuck was so wrong with that?**"

"**You were suppose to fall for me, to depend on me. To let me be the leader**…" Finn looks at Noah with tear filled eyes. "**I knew you were gay before you did! **You never talked about girls…You were scared of girls…You were too busy reading, too busy painting or drawing…playing your guitar…I saw the way you looked at the life guard at the pool that summer…You looked at **him** like I look at a girls! **You wanted him not me!**" Finn cant believe he just said those things to Puck.

"**WHAT THE HELL HUDSON? YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH ME?**" Noah cant believe what he is hearing.

"**Wha…NO! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU! I'M NOT A FUCKING QUEER! BUT YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MINE, SINCE WE WERE EIGHT! YOU DID EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING I WANTED! YOU FOUGHT FOR ME! LIED FOR ME! YOU FOLLOWED ME! I WASN'T LOSING MY WELL TRAINED, LOYAL JEW BITCH!" **Finn is bellowing the words at Puck, hoping his words hurt since he cant use his fists.

"**ALL I WAS TO YOU…WAS A FUCKING TRAINED DOG? SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR DIRTY WORK? SOME…THING….THAT WHEN YOU YELLED I CAME RUNNING? FUCK YOU HUDSON! FUCK! YOU! I AM DONE WITH YOU!" **Noah didn't think Finn could say anything that would hurt him anymore, but to learn that their friendship had been one sided ripped his heart apart.

"**FUCK YOU PUCK! YOU WERE NOTHING WITHOUT ME! JUST A FUCKING FAG! YOU DADDY COULDN'T STAND TO BE AROUND YOU AND YOUR MOTHER HATES YOU FOR HIM LEAVING HER BECAUSE OF YOU! NOBODY LOVES YOU PUCK! KURT COULDN'T LOVE THE GUY WHO BULLIED HIM FOR YEARS! HE'S JUST USING YOU TOO! THAT'S ALL YOUR GOOD FOR!" **Finn knows the words to use to hurt Puck, he always knew his weak spots. He watches the chinks in the armor take hit after hit with his words. His lips snarl up in a victorious smirk.

Sam has heard enough and steps from the doorway. He stands behind Noah's chair, he gently rests a hand on Noah's shoulder giving him support without saying a word.

Finn recoils when he sees Sam step from the shadows. He had no idea anyone else was there, he thought they were alone.

Finn's words slam into Noah, into his very soul. The tears burn Noah's face, he feels sick to his stomach. He starts gagging. Until something snaps inside of him and then he feels Sam's strong hand on his shoulder giving him strength. He takes a deep breath..

"**THAT'S WHERE YOU ARE WRONG FINN! I'M GOOD FOR PUTTING YOUR ASS AWAY FOR A LONG TIME! YOU SET ME UP! DID YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO TO ME?" **Noah holds up his hands, pulling the gauze away from one of his palms. He struggles out of the wheel chair to stand up on shaking legs. Sam helps him with the blanket, making sure Noah doesn't fall.

Noah holds his hand up for Finn to see the jagged hole that goes all the way through his palm. "**Is that what you ordered done to me? Or maybe this was what you told them to do to me!" **Noah pulls his gown back and pulls the bandage away revealing the angry cuts in his tanned skin. **"IS IT FINN? DID YOU TELL THEM TO BRAND ME? SO NO ONE ELSE WOULD WANT ME? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED FINN?"**

Finn stares at the ugly red lines that form a word and a symbol on the smooth skin. He didn't know they were going to do that to him. Finn can only stare at what he caused to happen to Puck. The smirk disappears from his face replaced by a look of shame and being sick.

Sam can tell Noah cant take too much more of this, he gently takes the bandage from Noah's hand and begins to put it back in place. The cuts make him want to be sick, but he holds it in, to be strong for his friend. He can feel Noah flinch from his touch, but he continues anyway. He pulls Noah's gown back down from his still bandaged hand and gently wraps him in the blanket before helping him sit in the wheel chair.

Noah looks at Finn, **"I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ME IN COURT, THEY CAN DRAG UP EVERY DAMN THING FROM MY PAST! I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME! **

**IT TOOK FIVE GUYS TO TAKE ME DOWN, TO FUCK ME UP! YOU WERE TOO FUCKING SCARED OF ME TO FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN! YOU ARE A COWARD FINN HUDSON! YOU CAN CALL ME A FAG….A QUEER….BUT I AM STILL A BETTER MAN THAN YOU! **_**I AM NOT A COWARD! **_

_**AND I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU SPEND THE NEXT SEVERAL YEARS IN JAIL!"**_

Noah starts shaking, his throat raw from the abuse of yelling at Finn. He drops his head down to his chest and asks Sam to get him out of there, _please_. Noah never looks back to see Finn break down in tears.

Sam starts wheeling Noah out of Finn's room, he thanks the guards for not disturbing them. Sam nods at the guards as they start to head for the nurse's station.

Nurse Richards walks from behind the desk and tells the boys she will walk them back up to Noah's room. She looks over at the waiting room where Burt and Carole are still talking to each other. Sam follows her eyes and understands, he starts pushing Noah towards the elevators.

Xxxxxxxx

Burt walks up to the nurse's station where Carole is talking to one of the nurses.

"Um Carole, can we talk without arguing?" Burt hopes her answer is yes, they have so much to talk through about the boys and the trial.

"I don't know if that is a good idea Burt, both of my attorneys' said not to talk to you or Noah." Carole's eyes are red from crying and not sleeping. Burt notices that she looks tired and scared.

"Carole, I still love you. What's happening isn't going to change that. We need to talk, please?" Burt starts walking towards the waiting room. Carole nods and follows him.

"How's Finn doing?" Burt asks her as they sit down at a table in the waiting room.

"Do you really care how is doing?" Carole asks defensively.

"Yeah I do. What he did, what he caused to happen was wrong. He's still my step son Carole." Burt hopes she believes him, he is telling the truth.

"They are keeping him here for a couple of days. To make sure the internal bruising isn't that bad. His nose is broke and those bastard really beat the shit out of him. You probably think he got what he deserved, some other people do." Carole's voice trembles with the last words.

"No I don't think either boy deserved what happened to them. I really don't. I'm glad Finn wasn't seriously injured, the violence needs to stop in this mess. So how are you doing? Do you need anything?" Burt reaches for her hand across the table and is happy she doesn't pull away from him.

"I'm doing what I can for Finn. I hired an attorney for him. They wont let any of the kids have bail. They said it was for their own safety. Well this proved that to be a load of shit didn't it?" Carole looks at Burt wanting nothing more than to let him wrap his arms around her and let him comfort her.

"How's Puck doing? I'm sorry for the way I acted in his room. I didn't believe Finn was capable of….that…until I saw the tape." Tears begin to fall down her cheeks as she remembers the way Noah screamed for help, the way her own son walked away from him.

"He's getting better, slowly. He still has a long way to go Carole. They fucked up his mind along with his body. He doesn't know who to trust or who is really being there for him. I think its going to take a long time for him to be okay/good." Burt grips her hand tighter, he is afraid to pull her into his arms.

"Well he has you to teach him what a real father is like. I know you will be there for him. He needs that right now. I just wish Finn has been with you longer, maybe this wouldn't have happened to Puck. Maybe Finn would be different…." A sob escapes Carole's lips as she finally breaks down. Burt wraps his arms around his wife and lets her cry until her tears are gone. She pulls back and looks at him, gently kissing his lips.

"Thank you for that. But I need to get back to Finn. I don't know where we stand Burt, I don't know where I stand in all of this. No matter what he has done he is still my son, my baby. I hope you can understand that Burt and I hope Puck can understand it too." Carole feels like she is saying good bye to Burt for the last time. She stands up to leave the room.

"Carole I don't know what to say. I know you cant walk away from Finn and I cant walk away from my boys. Noah is a part of my family now and I have to protect him just like I would Kurt. So, I don't know where we stand in all of this. Maybe we should wait until after the trial before we make any decisions, see how we feel then." Burt hates the look of defeat in her eyes.

"I just needed you to know that I still love you, that's all." Burt walks out of the room towards the elevators. He doesn't look back either.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nurse Richards stops by the nurse's station to get the trays to change Noah's bandages and his pain meds as Sam wheels Noah back into his room. She could see the tears slipping down his cheeks during the ride in the elevator.

Sam stops Noah's wheel chair beside the freshly made bed. He pulls the covers back for Noah and offers his help to Noah getting back into the bed.

"What I really want to do is use the….uh…." Noah looks at the bathroom door embarrassment clouding his features.

"Oh shit dude! Um do you need me to….uh…help you?" Sam sees what Noah is looking at and it hits him like a frying pan.

"Just get me in the door Sam. I'm tired of using that jug and bedpan. I can make it if you just get the chair in front of the toilet. Okay?" Noah hates asking for help, but he really is tired of being treated like a baby, like he is going to break or something.

"Okay. Just yell if you need me to uh….help." Sam pushes the chair into the small room, in front of the toilet and locks the brakes. He steps outside of the door and waits for Noah to tell him he's done. Sam hears Noah call out for him. He walks back into the bathroom and finds him still sitting on the toilet seat.

"Um let me go get the nurse. I don't know if I can uh…wi…." Sam, wide eyed, is turning red as Noah cuts him off. He likes Noah and all but he doesn't think he could do that, not even for Quinn.

"I don't need you to wipe my ass Sam. I just need you to help me get back in the chair." Noah is actually laughing at Sam's expression. "Dude your face was priceless when you walked back in here."

"Haha! Puckerman. So how do you want to do this?" Sam smirks at Noah. After what he just went through with Finn, it was nice to see him laugh a little bit.

"I don't know, move the chair back and just help me stand up, turn around so I can sit in the chair." It made perfect sense to Noah as he explained it. He watches as Sam moves the chair back so he can get in the small room.

"God this is so fucking awkward Sam." Noah says more to himself than to Sam.

"Come on Noah." Sam tells Noah as he puts his arms under Noah's arms pulling him from the seat. "Uh, you are done right?"

"Shut up Sam. Yes I'm done. I wouldn't want to get back in the chair if I wasn't. Shit this hurts." Noah groans as he is pulled up on shaking legs. "Okay now just help me turn around and…wait my foot is caught in the blanket….No…Sam don't turn me loose…Sam…Sam…Dammit Sam!"

"What Puckerman? It's working isn't it." Sam grins at Noah who is now holding bridal style. He starts walking towards the wheel chair when he realizes he cant put Noah down in the chair as it is half way in and half way out of the doorway. "Shit!"

"Now what brainpan!" Noah glares at Sam. The sound of a voice makes both boys jump.

"How about I move the chair out of the way boys?" Nurse Richards is smiling at both of them, trying desperately not to laugh out loud at them. She turns around to move the chair out of the way and sees their friends and Burt piling into the room. She places her finger over her lips signaling them to be quiet.

"Thanks Ma'am. He is getting a little bit cranky and heavy." Sam winks at a red faced Noah as he talks to the nurse. He can tell Noah is plotting his revenge.

Sam walks out of the bathroom carrying a totally disgruntled Noah in his arms. As they step into the room, Noah shrieks and Sam yelps in surprise. Burt and their friends are all in the room waiting on them.

Burt cannot contain his surprise or his laughter at the sight in front of him. The kids all make different cat calls and whistles at the boys before dissolving into giggle fits. Everyone, except for Kurt and Quinn, they are both staring at them slack jawed in disbelief.

Noah lays his head on Sam's neck whispering, "I will get you for this Sam, I promise."

Sam can only smirks as he says, "well I guess the honeymoon is over."


	24. Will You Be There

_Let me just say that laptops and sweet tea don't mix….But anyways….Sorry it took so long…I lost what I had finished and then I had to start all over again on this chapter…But I am happier with it than I was the other one….I just want to say that I hate what they are doing to Quinn on the show and it is showing in my writing…..Thanks again for following this journey…for all the reviews and alerts! Peace everyone….Hemmy_

Will You Be There

Chapter 24

The kids wait outside as Nurse Richards changes Noah' bandages. Noah watches the storm outside. He is replaying what happened in Finn's room over and over in his mind. The words Finn used to hurt him, he knew what to say to destroy Noah.

Noah knows what he has to do for himself. He asks the nurse to send Sam in when she leaves.

Sam enters the room and watches Noah reach for a business card that is on the bedside table. He turns and closes the door.

"Fuck!" Noah watches the card that was laying on the bed fall to the floor, as he struggles with the phone.

Sam quietly walks up beside the bed and picks up the card from the floor. He sees the name on the card and takes out his own cell phone for Noah to use. He knows that Noah needs to do something after all the nasty things Finn said to him.

"Puck, you do what you have to do or what you _think_ you have to do…The same goes for this as it did with Finn's room…I wont say a word…." Sam tells Noah in a quiet voice as he dials the number on the card and asks for Mr. Fann.

Sam lets Mr. Fann know that Noah is wanting to talk to him and holds the phone for Noah. The conversation is short and bitter sweet. Noah wants to talk to Mr. Fann about the deals being made with the jocks tomorrow, Mr. Fann agrees to meet with Noah in the morning.

"Thanks man, I don't know who else to trust right now." Noah's eyes speak louder than his words. The hazel eyes have a look of apprehension in them. "Everyone wants me to be okay with the deals, but I cant, not after Finn…I just cant…"

"It's cool Puck…I will do whatever I can to help you…But you know you can trust all of us…Especially Kurt…He loves you…" Sam grabs Noah shoulder and gently squeezes it.

"I love him Sam, I really do…But he has walked away when I needed him…This is all so new to me…I want to trust everyone out there, but its just hard now…" Noah looks out the window and cringes as the lightening crackles across the sky.

"Everyone waiting to see you, is a friend, someone that you can trust….Maybe the _only ones _that you can trust right now, except for Mr. Hummel…._Papa Bear is protective of you_…_We will protect you_ at school and anywhere else…You just have to believe that…" Sam smiles at Noah, a lopsided smile that is comforting.

"I want to Sam….And I am trying too…Just give me a little time…You better let them in here before Kurt goes ballistic or Mercedes threatens to cut you for hogging all her boys' time." Noah laughs a little bit at the thought of both divas out there throwing fits.

Sam goes to tell everyone to come in the room.

Kurt has been outside listening to Quinn talk about how if she didn't know any better that they both had lost their boyfriends. The way Sam was holding Noah was almost intimate. But they all _knew_ Sam was with her and they all knew Sam was _straight_. Kurt didn't see the look in her eyes as she talked to him, he was too busy looking at the closed door to Noah's room.

Kurt hears Sam tell everyone that Noah wants to see them. His feelings are hurt a little bit. He wanted some alone time with Noah. He knows he is being silly, that he has nothing to jealous of, but Quinn's words have planted the seeds of doubt in his mind and heart about Sam.

Everyone visits with Noah for a while. They talk about the media and all the questions everyone is asking them. They tell Noah that they haven't said anything to anyone about him or Kurt. Their parents are also being supportive and not talking to the media. Rachel brings up Mr. Shue and the fact that he hasn't visited Noah yet.

"Finn was Mr. Shue's favorite, I was just a body to sway in the background. You know they had that father/son thing when Quinn was pregnant." Noah tries pushing the memory of that time away.

It still hurt the way everyone had rallied around Finn even after they found out it was Quinn's idea to keep the true parentage a secret. He looks at Quinn and sees her staring out the window. The distrust he feels for her is something he has felt since the day she said Finn was the father of Beth. A scowl creeps across his face as he watches her.

"My mom told me that the teachers weren't allowed to talk to the students until after the meeting they are having tomorrow night. We are all suppose to be there, it seems that we are the main topic of the meeting." Brittany looks at Noah seeing the dark emotions flicker over his eyes, she decides to change the subject a little bit. "So that could be the reason he hasn't stopped by yet."

Her mother had explained to her that the school board meeting was about the bullying at school and the fact that the teachers had done nothing to stop it. Many students had told their parents that the teachers witnessed the slushies, the locker checks and the dumpster tossings. Yet none of them did anything to stop what they witnessed at school.

The teens talk about how even Mr. Shue had witnessed some of the bullying, but he didn't acknowledge it for a long time. He was too caught up in his own little world to see anything but his marriage falling apart and having the hots for Ms. P.

"Mr. Shue didn't want to see what was happening to us. He wanted a perfect world, where we all got along and there wasn't a hierarchy at the school. It was his choice to look the other way." Kurt is having a hard time holding back the animosity in his voice. He looks at the others nodding at him in agreement. "He was living his high school years through Finn, except his version was without bullying."

"I agree with Kurt and Finn was who Mr. Shue was wanted to be in high school. The jock with the popularity, the cheerleader girlfriend, the top of the food chain." Mercedes was the first to agree with Kurt's assessment of the Spanish teacher. "The only time he really saw us was when we went against him or Glee."

The discussion of Mr. Shue is stopped when the doctor walks in with Burt. Everyone starts to walk out of the room, but Burt stops them.

"All of you can stay, Noah is about to get good news." Burt says with a smile.

"Noah I am going to release you Friday. Mr. Hummel and I have talked about it and we both think you would heal faster if you were at home and away from the stress of the hospital."

A cheer erupted from the group of teenagers. Brittany and Rachel hug Papa Bear and kiss him on the cheek. The doctor continued on, looking at the kids with a knowing smile.

"I will write out your schedule for your pain meds and your Xanax. You will have to follow the schedule for the Xanax's to the letter. No skipping them or abusing them. Tomorrow Nurse Richards will show you and Mr. Hummel how to clean your wounds and change your bandages. How does that sound Noah?"

"Can I leave tomorrow? There is somewhere I would like to go. Somewhere I need to be." Noah looks at his friends. He wants to be at the meeting, to tell the school board what he thinks of the teachers.

"Noah where are you wanting to go?" Burt raises his eyebrow not understanding where the injured boy could possibly need to be except either on the couch or in the bed.

"I want to go to the school board meeting. It's about me….It's about all of us…I was a bully…I was the leader for a long time….I want to know why they let it go on….Why they didn't stop it a long time ago…I need to go to this meeting….Please…" Noah looks at Burt and the doctor hoping they will give the okay.

"Noah you don't need the stress of a crowded gymnasium full of angry people. They are going to blame you for all this happening, for all of it being brought out by the media." Kurt looks at his boyfriend knowing he is setting himself up for all the homophobes that are going to be at this meeting.

"Kurt I need to do this…I am not ashamed of loving you…I am not going to hide and pretend that all this isn't happening because of me….because of what happened to me…I have to stop it before it happens again…." Noah looks pleadingly at Kurt, he wants the boy he is in love with to stand beside him.

"It's up to Mr. Hummel, Noah. If he says it okay, then I will set you up to be discharged tomorrow afternoon…Late though so the nurse can check you over before you go to the meeting." The doctor looks at Burt waiting for an answer.

"Alright Noah, but the first sign of trouble or you having a panic attack and _we_ leave…No questions, no arguments…._We_ leave…I am going to go too….I have a lot of things to say about that school and its teachers too…" Burt gives Noah his best father glare of _I mean business _at Noah.

"Dad how can you support Noah throwing himself to the lion's den? They are going to attack him as soon as he walks in the building…Hell before he makes to the door…" Kurt is becoming exasperated with both of the men in his life. He makes a huffing sound as he wraps his arms around his own chest.

"Kurt we are all going to be there…None of us are going to let anything happen to Noah…Or you…" Tina understands that Noah blames himself for what is happening and she knows he needs all the support he can get from his friends.

"Tina is right. We can protect him." Mercedes smiles a confident smile at Kurt hoping it will ease some of the tension filling his body. "We are a force to be reckoned with, all of us are ready to work together to help one of our own."

"Thanks everyone, but I need to talk to Kurt alone. We need to talk about some things." Noah asks everyone but keeping his eyes on Kurt. He can tell Kurt is about to blow up and have a bitch fit out of this world.

The kids all tell Noah good night and that they will see him tomorrow. Burt and the doctor walk out with the kids. Noah and Kurt are left alone together.

"Noah I cant believe you want to do this…" Kurt is cut off by Noah.

"Kurt no matter how much you bitch at me it isn't going to change my mind. I am going to the meeting tomorrow night. People are going to blame me no matter if I go or not. I need to do this for me Kurt. I was the leader before I became their victim." Noah reaches out for Kurt pulling him down beside him to sit on the bed.

"I want you to stand beside me tomorrow night, to be there for me, with me. I need you Kurt. I need your strength. I need your love behind me, beside me. And I want you here with me tonight."

_**I'm lying beside you just thinking about us**_

_**Too tired to go to sleep and too much in love**_

_**I know I'm crazy but I can't close my eyes**_

_**I'm scared you won't be there in the morning when I rise**_

_**Will you be there?**_

"What do you mean Noah, you want me here tonight?" Kurt looks at Noah shocked and unsure if he understands what Noah means by those words.

_**Who do you dream about **_

_**are you alone in your sleep?**_

_**To who will you reach out?**_

_**Oh, let it be me**_

"It means that I want you to stay with me tonight. I want to fall asleep in your arms, for you to hold me tonight." Noah looks at Kurt's face and sees the doubt in his eyes. He is scared that Kurt doesn't want to be close to him, that he is too damaged from the attack. "You don't want to?" Noah's voice breaks just a bit.

_**Well, you're so close to me but I feel so alone**_

_**The more I touch you the more I want**_

_**Don't know what to do about me loving you **_

_**but I pray to God that you feel it too**_

_**You're my obsession, my addiction, my drug, so let the candle grow into a great fire of love**_

"There is no other place I would rather be Noah. I just don't want to hurt you. I don't want to cause your body any more pain." Kurt reaches out and strokes Noah's cheek feeling the soft stubble of his beard against his palm. He watches Noah nuzzle into the palm of his hand closing his umber eyes at the touch.

_**Will you be there in the morning, **_

_**will you be there when I want you?**_

_**Will you be there when I wake up?**_

_**I need you to be there in the morning!**_

"You wont Kurt…I need this….I need you, to feel you against me…To wake up with you beside me…Kiss me Kurt…" Noah reaches out and traces Kurt's full lips with his finger tips. He watches Kurt lean towards him.

_**I wanna love you forever,**_

_**Don't want a love that's now or never**_

_**Can't you see you got me down on the floor.**_

_**I want more MORE!**_

Their lips meet. It is slow and gentle. Soft vanilla meeting crisp mint, mingling, lips moving in harmony. Tongues slipping out long enough to slide across the other's full bottom lip. Dark fingers sliding through soft chocolate tresses, while porcelain hands stroke the base of a dark Mohawk. The contrast of skin is startling, yet the touches are loving and comforting.

_**Will you be there in the morning, **_

_**will you be there when I want you?**_

_**Will you be there when I wake up?**_

_**Will you be there in the morning?**_

_**Will you be there**_

Kurt is the first to break the moment. He pulls back to look into dark hazel eyes that are full of love. He reaches back down and gently kisses Noah's lips, his words ghost across full dusky cinnamon colored lips. "I love you babe."

Noah feels the words as much as he hears them whispered across his lips. A single tear falls from his dark hazel eyes. He feels the pads of Kurt's soft finger tips wipe it away. "I love you Kurt…Stay with me…"

Noah watches as Kurt toes off his shoes and gently lays behind him, pulling him back into soft but strong pale arms. He lays his hands on the top of Kurt's. Noah rests his head against the crook of Kurt's neck, inhaling the scent of the person that makes feel loved like no other. His body relaxes against Kurt's.

Both boys fall asleep holding onto each other, holding onto the love that binds them.

Outside of Noah's room the kids and Burt are having a discussion about getting the house ready for Noah. The kids all offer their help and any furniture Noah may need for his area of the basement.

Rachel offers an extra bed that is in storage and linens for it. She also lets the group know that she will ask her Dads to call their lawyer and have him be there at the school board meeting tomorrow night.

Mike offers clothes since no one has heard from Noah's mother.

Mercedes knows that her mother has extra bedroom furniture in storage. She could probably find him a bedside table and a lamp for it.

Artie isn't sure what his dad has that they can use, but whatever they need he can help get it. He then gets an idea and whispers it to Brittany. They will make a photo collage of Noah and his friends. He motions for Rachel to join them. He asks her for a picture of Beth so that Noah can have it.

Rachel agrees, telling Artie that she will call Shelby when she gets home and ask her for some recent pictures of Beth. Rachel also has an idea….But she is keeping that one to herself until she knows she can make it happen.

Sam offers some games that he knows Noah loves to play. And some clothes too.

Tina offers some books. She caught him reading one day at the bleachers.

Quinn is the only one that stays quiet. She offers nothing, no one but Rachel seems to notice this. It makes her more determined to accomplish her goal for Noah.

Burt is thankful for the kids offers and they set up a meeting in the morning to start getting the house ready for Noah. He steps back into Noah's room, Seeing the boys asleep, Noah looking more at peace than he has since this nightmare began. Burt smiles and switches off the light and heads out of the room. He knows they are safe as he heads to the elevator to go home.

Burt arrives home to find Carole waiting for him in the driveway. He steps out of the truck, not knowing what is going to happen between them. He slowly walks to her car and opens the driver's side door for her.

"Carole are you okay? Did something happen with Finn?" Burt offers his hand to her as she gets out of the car. He is taken aback by the look in her eyes, eyes red rimmed from crying for a long time. "Carole talk to me…."

"Can we go inside, I don't want anyone hearing what I have to say." Carole looks at Burt with a scared expression. Her face traced with deep worry lines.

"Sure. Maybe have some coffee or hell a shot of bourbon. I think we both deserve something a little stronger than usual." He grabs her hand in his and walks to the front door. They go to the kitchen and Burt grabs the liquor from the cabinet and two glasses sitting down at the table with Carole.

"Here I think you need this." Burt hands her one of the glasses after pouring her a shot. He pours himself one and quickly draining the glass.

"I know Puck went to see Finn today. Before you say anything Burt, I am not here to yell at you about that. I know…I heard Finn ranting about what Puck did to him…**What Puck did to him!** **He isn't taking responsibility for what he has done to Puck!" **Carole takes a sip of the bourbon. The burn helping her aching throat. "**He kept saying how it was Puck's fault that he was going to jail! How it was because Puck was gay! Because Puck made him lose Quinn!**"

Burt listens to Carole finally realize her son isn't innocent. He can see the pain and anguish on her face…He reaches across the table and holds her hand while she continues…

"As soon as I walked into the room he started to change his story around. How sorry he was for what happened to Puck, when not ten seconds earlier it was all Puck's fault and he hated him. He looked at me with that sad stupid look on his face and I just snapped in that moment. I walked to the side of his bed and I slapped my son across the face for the first time in his life and I called him a liar." Carole downs the rest of the bourbon.

"The change in his eyes was so fast and it scared me. He started accusing me of being one of the cougars Puck slept with! Screaming at me that I always loved Puck more than him! That Puck always got what was suppose to be his. He started yelling how much he hated Puck. I left. I didn't want to be in the same room as my own son."

"Carole, Finn needs help. Professional help. This isn't your fault." Burt tries to reason with Carole.

"**Burt I am his mother! So it is all my fault! I failed him some how, somewhere in his life. I failed him!**" Carole drops her head to the table the sobs shaking her body. Her voice muffled as she speaks to Burt. "He played me. He played you. He played everyone. Puck. Kurt. Rachel. He isn't the boy, the person that we all love. But I cant walk away from my son. I just cant."

"Carole no one expects you to walk away from Finn. He is your son. I wouldn't be able to walk away from Kurt if the roles were reversed. We love our children, for good or bad. They are a part of us." Burt's hand is slowly rubbing circles over her shoulders.

"Thanks Burt, for everything, for listening. I really just came by to tell you that I will accept whatever deal the DA offers as long as it includes therapy for Finn. I know that you and Noah have to agree with it so I am asking you to help me with this. Help me help Finn please…" Carole looks at Burt with a mother's pleading eyes. She is pleading for her son's life and his mental health.

"I will talk with Noah in the morning and see what he wants to do…The special US prosecutor talked with us today and thinks they will offer five years to Finn and the girl, Santana. I can ask if that can include professional help. I cant make any promises, all I can do is try Carole. It's really up to Noah." Burt watches as Carole grabs her purse and keys.

"I better go. I need to go and get some rest, maybe cleanup a little bit." Carole looks down at her wrinkled clothes, trying to smooth them with a shaking hand. "Please let me know what Noah decides. And tell him that I am sorry for not believing him." She turns and walks toward the front door.

"I will call you tomorrow Carole. And this door is always open to you, you are always welcomed in this house." Burt leans to kiss her on the cheek as she walks out into the night to her car.

AN: the song is will you be there….by Heart…


	25. Faces in the Crowd

_Hello everyone! I know that this chapter is long….But I worked several versions of this and finally combined them to create this one…Nothing in life easy so don't think that what the school board decides will solve everything….The next chapters will show that…Please continue to follow this journey…A shout out to everyone that has reviewed or alerted this story….And to Yuki! Without you sometimes I would not get the push I need…Peace my friends…Hemmy_

Bubbeleh-term of endearment

Bubbeh-grandmother

Gevalt-exclamation of terror/surprise/outrage

Ich hob deer leib-I love you

Zol got mir helfen-May God help me

Mensch-decent man

Shnur-daughter in law

Meshuggeneh-crazy woman

Lokh-hole

Shiker-drunk

Mume-Aunt

Mamen-mother

Khavyrim-boyfriend

Oysnam-cheat

Be-koyekh-strong, powerful

Chapter 25

Faces in the Crowd

The next morning Kurt talks with his father a few minutes on the phone about setting up part of Kurt's room for Noah. Kurt tells his father that he will head home so that he can help in arranging the room for both of them. He softly kisses Noah on the cheek whispering that he will be back soon and that he loves him before heading home.

Sam waits for Kurt to leave before heading into Noah's room. He told Noah that he would be there for the meeting with Mr. Fann, just to give moral support that's all. He walks into the room to find Noah sleeping somewhat peacefully.

"Kurt?" A sleepy voice from the bed breaks the silence of the room. Eyes the color of umber seeking out the teenager.

"Sorry Puck, its just me. Kurt left a few minutes ago. Burt needed him to go home and help get his room ready for you tonight." Sam sees the disappointment and understanding in the hazel eyes. But more disappointment than understanding stays in the eyes squinting in the sunlight.

"Hey Sam, its cool. He didn't need to be here anyway when Mr. Fann shows up." The soft voice betrays the emotions Noah is trying to hide.

"So you ready for breakfast?" Sam deposit's a bag from Al's Diner on the side of the bed. The aroma of banana nut muffins fills the air.

"Smells good. Let me have one before the nurse comes in and tells me I cant have it." Noah watches Sam pull out the muffin and breaks it into smaller chunks for him to handle with his hands.

Both boys enjoy their breakfast before Mr. Fann arrives. They talk about the move into Kurt's house and the fact that Mr. H is handling all of it rather well. Noah is scared that he will screw up and Burt wont let him stay. Sam tells him that everyone knows it wont be easy but Mr. H will be there for him if Noah lets him.

The meeting with Mr. Fann was tense to say the least. Noah does a lot of shouting and cursing at the bureaucrat. Noah wants the defendants to serve at least ten years or longer, but Mr. Fann tells him that five years is a safe bet. More shouting and cursing leads to Mr. Fann agreeing to seven years for the bullies. Once the agreement is reached Mr. Fann tells Noah that he will let him know if they accept the plea offer. As he is leaving out the door an elderly woman walks in with a middle aged man.

"Bubbeh?" Noah's eyes are wide in surprise. In the doorway stands his grandmother and Rabbi Simmons.

"Gevalt, Bubbeleh! Zol got mir helfon!" The elderly Jewish woman exclaims as she looks at her grandson's injuries that are showing with the same hazel eyes that are her grandson's. The large bandage on his head, the large bruise that covers almost half of his face and the white bandages on his hands. She begins to sob as she slowly makes her way to the bed.

"What did those goys do to you?" Nana Puckerman's face is full of concern. She reaches her small hands out for her grandson.

"Bubbeh, I'm okay." Noah's voice is muffled by the small body that is engulfing him, pulling him close to her. He breathes in her familiar scent. Her perfume, the smell of her cooking…The smell of unconditional love to him.

"Excuse me young man, but perhaps we could give them some time alone? I think Noah needs some time with his grandmother." Rabbi Simmons motions at Sam towards the door.

"Yeah, I think he is in good hands. I need to get back to Mr. H's house and help with moving Noah's in anyways." Sam walks out the door with the Rabbi. He knows that the small woman inside would fight the devil himself for Noah, it was written all over her small worn face.

"I am Rabbi Simmons from Noah's synagogue. I am guessing that you are Noah's _friend_?" There is no malice in the question just curiosity.

"I am his friend Sam Evans, not his boyfriend. That would be Kurt Hummel. He left earlier." Sam holds his hand out to the Rabbi.

The Rabbi shakes Sam's hand and they talk for a few minutes about what all Noah has gone through, what the jocks did to him. Sam had never heard a religious leader cuss until Rabbi Simmons let out a string of expletives in both Hebrew and English when he told him about the word and symbol cut into Noah's skin.

Sam gives the Rabbi Noah's new address and Kurt's phone number so that he can get in touch with Noah and so his Nana would have it too. Sam leaves the Rabbi standing outside of Noah's room.

"Bubbeh how is Sarah? Mom hasn't been to see me. I really didn't expect…She told the doctors that she didn't want me anymore…Mr. Hummel is letting me stay with them…That's Kurt's Dad…My um…khavyrim…." Noah can feel the blush in his cheeks at the word meaning boyfriend. He waits to hear his Bubbeh's reaction.

"Bebbeleh, does this Kurt make you happy? Does he love you?" Nana Puckerman asks her grandson in a quiet voice. "Do you love him?"

"Yes. For the first time in a long time I can be me…The way he smiles at me…The way I feel when I am around him…I am not proud of all the things I have done in the past, but I am proud that he is my boyfriend."

"Then that is all that matters…All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy…And Bubbeleh I have known since you were little that you like boys…" The elderly woman smiles at the teenager's shocked face. "You were never happy with a girl, except for that one, you brought over a few times. But I could tell it was friendship. Nothing else…No matter how hard you tried to convince me and everyone else otherwise…"

"You don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you Bubbeleh…All I have ever done is love you…Is that why didn't you call me?" The woman's voice has a slight sharp edge to it. "You thought I would hate you for liking boys?"

"Yes, Bubbeh…Mom hates me because of Dad, so I thought you would too…." Noah's voice has a sadness in it when he mentions his mother.

"Don't you worry about that worthless meshuggeneh shnur of mine. She is off somewhere in a lokh, shiker. Sarah is staying with your mume Ester…Naomi, your mamen, left when the news people showed up…When she left I told her to never come back!" The frail old woman still has fire in her eyes talking about her worthless daughter in law. She hates what her son's wife has done to her grand children.

Noah cant help but smile at his Nana, she always stood up for him and Sarah. They would have lived with her if she were in better health. That was the only reason their mother had never dumped them on her.

"Is this Mr. Hummel a mensch? Will he take good care of you?" Nana Puckerman's voice is full of concern.

"Yeah, he is a mensch…You will like him…I want you to meet him….He offered me a place to stay even knowing all the crap I did in the past…He wont let me get away with anything, but he will take care of me…Maybe teach me how to be a better person…" The fondness for Mr. H is evident in Noah's voice and his face. He smiles a little bit with the last sentence.

"If you want me to meet him then I will…He needs to understand our customs and how to feed you…Maybe I can get the other women to make a Kosher cookbook…Simple dishes that can be made for you….I know you oysnam on food…But maybe you can try a little harder…Eh?" Nana looks at Noah with raised eyebrows. She knows that most kids cheat with fast food.

"I will try harder Bubbeh…And I might even go to temple more…" Noah knows that he needs to try harder at being a good Jewish person. He would do anything for his Nana.

"Well I better go, I know the good Rabbi has other things to do." Nana Puckerman doesn't want to leave her grandson. But she has to. "Noah you are a be-koyekh man. Ich hob deer leib. I will see you soon…" Nana places a kiss on his cheek.

"Ich hob deer leib Bubbeleh." Noah can feel the tears pricking his eyes knowing that she is leaving him. He didn't tell her about the word or the symbol. He just didn't have the heart to tell his Nana that the filthy things were on his body. He watches her walk out of the room, turning to wave at him before stepping out of the door.

Rabbi Simmons pokes his head in for just a minute. "If you need _anything _you call me Noah. Don't hesitate or be afraid. I am here for you son. And I am going to give your Bubbeh your new phone number and address. I will make sure she comes to visit you. And next time we will bring Sarah."

"Thank you Rabbi. This meant a lot to me."

The Rabbi nods his head at Noah and takes Nana Puckerman to the elevators. After the Rabbi leaves Noah doesn't know if the tears are from seeing his favorite lady in the world, if they are from knowing that Sarah is alright or if they are because Kurt left before he woke up. He cries quietly until the nurse brings him his medications.

Back at the Hummel house…

Shouts of be careful and don't drop that, ring through the air with each piece of furniture that is moved around the room. The furniture is placed to give each teen space and privacy. The wall above Noah's bed is now littered with pictures of funny moments from New Directions and beside his bed is a multi picture frame containing the latest pictures of Beth. Rachel notices that Quinn wont look at the pictures of Beth, she completely ignores them.

It seems that Shelby thought Quinn was passing the pictures along to Noah as she sent them. Rachel kept that bit of information to herself. Along with the surprise she has in store for Noah over the weekend.

The girls make lunch for the guys once the room is completed and everyone talks about how good it will be to have Noah out of the hospital. Burt has enjoyed having the kids help him and the company too. Even if he is still startled by the fondness that some of them show "Papa Bear". He takes it all in stride and with a smile.

"Kids, I need to get to the hospital and check in on Noah. They are suppose to have a lot of paperwork that I need to go over with the nurse and they are suppose to show me how to take care of his bandages. Are you guys going to come up there soon?" Burt knows the answer to this but he asks it anyways.

The kids tell Burt that they are going to hospital after checking in with their parents. Kurt goes down stairs and grabs Noah some clean clothes that he thinks will be comfortable for the injured jock. A pair of extra large sweat pants, boxers, socks, and one of Burt's old concert t shirts.

They head out in an awkward silence, father and son lost in their own thoughts. They stop long enough for Kurt to buy Noah a pair of tennis shoes to wear to the meeting.

Burt and Kurt arrive at the hospital to find a sleeping Noah. The nurse informs Burt that a Mrs. Puckerman came to visit Noah with a Rabbi Simmons. Burt asks the nurse if it was his mother and the nurse thinks it was his grandmother, _the little old lady looked to be in her eighties_. Burt thanks the nurse and heads to Noah's room.

Noah and Kurt are talking quietly about the meeting and the clothes he brought for him. Burt asks about the visitor he had earlier and Kurt looks at Noah in disbelief, he never said anything to Kurt about a visitor. Kurt finds out it was Noah's Grandmother and his Rabbi.

Noah lets them know about the visit and that he found out his sister Sarah is safe with his Aunt. Burt sees the smile on Noah's face as he talks about his family. Noah lets them know that his Bubbeh, Grandmother, will be visiting them; she wants to meet Burt. It makes Burt feel better to see Noah smile.

Nurse Richards comes in to show Burt and Noah how to take care of his injuries. The proper way to clean them and how to redress them. Kurt is asked to leave by Noah when the nurse starts to explain about the cuts on his abdomen. Even though Kurt saw them it still makes Noah extremely uncomfortable for Kurt to see them.

When she finishes, Nurse Richards removes Noah's IV and helps Burt get Noah dressed. She informs the them of Noah's Xanax schedule and that it cant be missed no matter what, how often he can take his pain meds and the appointment time to have the stitches removed from his head injury. The doctor that has been treating Noah in the hospital would like to continue being his primary doctor and Noah agrees.

The paper work that Burt has to read is about three inches thick and explains all the things Noah must avoid food or drink, what to look out for in the symptoms of withdrawal, and the psychological effects of drugs plus the attack. Burt takes the papers with a sigh, he isn't a big reader but he knows he will have to read this for his new ward.

The kids arrive at the waiting room where Kurt is unhappy at being asked to leave Noah's room. He tries to hide it from them, he doesn't want any drama to come out of his being upset. No one seems to notice but Quinn who is telling him about Sam saying something about picking breakfast up for Noah this morning. Kurt asks Quinn why would Sam be visiting Noah alone and Quinn only shrugs her shoulders. _Ask Sam or Noah if you want to know, he didn't tell me._ The answer is a whisper from Quinn. She walks away with her perfect pony tail swaying with her walk.

Kurt doesn't get the chance as Mr. Abrams arrives to help transport Noah to the gymnasium. Burt has asked Artie if his father would mind taking Noah in the van and his father had agreed with Burt's plan. Everyone starts filing out to the parking lot.

Noah was loaded up in Mr. Abrams van. It would provide Noah with security and allow him to be taken to the gymnasium where the handicap ramp was located at back of the building since he was using a wheel chair tonight, doctor's orders. The media ignored the van and its occupants. The front door was a different story for Burt and the rest of the kids.

Cameras, video cameras, tape recorders were thrust in their faces as they tried to make it to the doors. "Where is the Jew boy? Will he be here tonight? Do you have any comment since you are the only openly gay student? What is it like be the center of controversy in this small town? Are you sure you kids aren't making this up just to get attention?" The last comment sends Burt into a rage at one reporter.

"You think these kids make up the bruises? You think these kids like spending all their allowances on new clothes because theirs were stained up by bullies? You think these kids like walking down the hallways of school being terrified of what is around the next corner?" A police officer pulls a shaking Burt away from the reporter, whispering to him that Detective Donovan said to keep them safe. Burt allows the officer to escort him and the kids to the doors.

The kids are tormented by words as they walk towards the doors. "Fag lover…Kike lover…Homos….Dykes….Queers…Freaks…Abominations…." The words sting each member and the words, "You all should die" makes them shudder in fear. The words are being spoken by adults as well as other kids.

Noah, Artie and Brittany make it in the back entrance without any media or anyone else seeing them, except for Coach Sylvester who helps them out of the van. She gently hugs Noah and congratulates him on being there. _That is the Puckerman I respect._ She leads them to her office where Coach Beiste is waiting.

Coach Beiste starts crying as soon as she sees Noah. She engulfs him out of the wheelchair to her body thanking God that he is okay. Noah lets himself feel the comfort of her strong arms, a few tears falling from his dark eyes. Both coaches tell him that they would have gone to the hospital but they were not allowed any contact with the students before the meeting tonight. Sue exclaims "the hell with the rules now, you are here and we are going to stand beside you during the meeting Puckerman! Figgins can go to hell for all we care!" Beiste nods her head in agreement.

The meeting is being called to order and the group files out of Sue's office and they head towards the gym doors. Artie and Brittany go through the doors first, their eyes wide at the scene in front of them. Signs that say God hates Queers… Lima hates Fags… Jews go home…No Freaks at WMHS…Brittany cant help the tears that form in her eyes. Artie squeezes her hand and they continue to look for their friends.

Noah is being escorted by both coaches as they wheel him into the gym. He sees the same signs that his friends did, the words sparking fear in his chest. He takes a deep breath to steady his heart and his nerves. He feels a hand on each of his shoulders and feels the strength of both forces of nature at his sides.

The gymnasium grows eerily quiet as those in attendance see the young man being wheeled in by both coaches. Burt goes to the trio and leads them to where they are sitting on the front row. Burt whispers in Noah's ear, "remember, first sign of problems and we leave." Noah nods at Burt hoping that Burt cant see the fear in his eyes. Principal Figgins is introduced to speak to the assembly.

"I am here to speak with you about all the phone calls and the complaints about the alleged bullying happening here at William McKinley High School. I am here to reassure the parents that bullying has never been tolerated at this school and it never will be. I have never witnessed any of the complaints and none of the teachers here have ever reported any instances involving the alleged bullying." Figgins pauses to take a breath and evaluate how much of his cover up the audience is actually buying and it doesn't look good. He opens his mouth but is interrupted by Coach Sylvester.

"I disagree with Principal Figgins. I witness bullying here at school everyday. I am one of the bullies that has never been reported to anyone. I have never physically harmed a student but I use psychology against them. I call them names. I taunt them, ridicule them. I tell them they are worthless, meaningless pieces of scum. And I am telling you all that it is accepted by the teachers here and it is accepted by Figgins. No one has ever tried to stop me except for William Shuester, the Spanish teacher. But even he makes it personal instead of reporting me to the board. So parents let your kids be heard tonight, let them speak about what _**they know **_is happening to them. Let them be heard by the board and by their peers. " Sue steps away from the microphone and back to Noah. The applause is almost deafening, drowning out the boos and hisses from the crowd.

Noah motions towards the microphone speaking to Burt. Burt nods his head and asks Coach Beiste to take Noah to the microphone, he wants the other parents to see the support system they have in place for Noah. Both coaches and the Glee kids walk beside Noah until he reaches the make shift podium. Rachel takes the microphone off the stand and hands it to Noah once Beiste turns him so he can look at the crowd. His "system" stands behind him.

"My name is Noah Puckerman….Some of you know me as Puck…I am on the football team, the basketball team and I'm in Glee…Some of you cheer for me and some of you cower in fear of me in the halls of school…I know it doesn't look like it but I used to be the leader of the bullies here at McKinley….I was the one who decided who was tossed in a dumpster, who was slushied, or who was tormented any other way I could think of…." Noah stops when the chairman interrupts him. Noah listens as the crowd is a mixture of cheers and lewd comments. He looks at the teachers who are sitting grouped together by the school board.

"Mr. Puckerman are we to understand that you were a bully before this happened to you?" The chairman has been listening to what Noah has been saying and he knows there is truth behind his words, in the kids eyes.

"Yes I was THE BULLY here at McKinley for a while…I was the resident badass of this school…I didn't care who I hurt…I loved the feeling I got when I saw the look of fear in their eyes…The way everyone got out of my way….All these teachers sitting here know it…Principal Figgins knows it too…" Noah turns his full attention to the teachers sitting beside the board members.

"How many times did you or you or you watch me throw a kid in the dumpster? Throw a slushy on someone? Shove some nerd in the lockers? Hear me call them nasty names?" Noah points at several teachers that he knew saw what he did to his victims. He sees them shift uncomfortably in their seats.

"How many times did you close the door to your classroom when something happened in the hallway? How many times did you walk in the opposite direction of us because you knew that something was going to happen? How many times did you just ignore the dumpsters by your cars and keep walking?

How many times did you notice your students suddenly limping? Notice fresh bruises on their faces? Their clothing torn or ruined? How many times did you notice they needed help?" Noah can feel the tears slipping down his cheeks as the shame of being one of the bullies grips his chest.

"How many times did you turn these kids away? Tell them that you didn't see anything…That there was nothing you could do for them to help them? Did you lose count of the times you turned students away? Did you ever feel any remorse? Did it ever make you sick to your stomach knowing that you were helping people like me? That _**you**_ made it okay for it to continue?" Noah stops for a moment taking a deep breath before going on.

"All of you are a _**joke**_ to the bullies here at school. We all knew that you would never report us. That you would never turn us in to Figgins. You are as scared of the bullies as the students are….You are the ones that enabled us/the bullies to be able to terrorize this school….All of you except for the two coaches standing behind me…I have no respect for any of the rest of you…" The chairman of the school board interrupts Noah.

"How do we know that you are not lying Mr. Puckerman? How do we know that you are making all this up for some inane reason? To maybe get your fifteen minutes of fame with the networks…Tell me how do we know?"

"I don't want fifteen minutes of fame…I wish it had never happened to me, but it did…Do you know what it is like to be scared that you are going to die? That no one can hear you scream and beg for your life? That no one cares enough about you to help you?

I do…I learned first hand what my own victims felt…To be trapped….To be totally alone…To be afraid…Do any of you know what it feels like for the biggest nails you have ever seen in your life be hammered into your hands? Do any of you know what it feels like for someone to cut you while you beg for them to let you go? They kept telling me the exact same thing I used to tell the kids I bullied…You know what that is? You deserve this….You asked for it….

The jocks that attacked me said…Because a FAG couldn't be allowed on the football team…A FAG didn't belong in Lima…A Jesus Killer needed to feel what Jesus felt…They kept telling me that I deserved what they were doing to me…Do you think I deserved it for being in love with a boy? For being Jewish?" Noah looks at the chairman, the board, the teachers and the rest of the assembly. He doesn't bother to wipe away the tears that are falling freely from his dark umber eyes.

Kurt steps forward and takes the microphone from Noah, kissing his wet cheek.

"My name is Kurt Hummel and I have been bullied since I was in Middle School. And I was bullied by the boy I am in love with, Noah Puckerman. I know first hand what he is talking about…The fear…feeling totally helpless…that no one cares enough to help you…

I have gone to teachers, to Figgins…They all said that unless they had reliable witnesses they couldn't do a damn thing to help me…My locker has been spray painted with homophobic slurs…I have gone home with bruises, scrapes, my clothing ruined, my personal items destroyed, all done by the jocks/the bullies because I am GAY…Many of the teachers sitting over there have witnessed what happened in the hallways, the lunch room, even the class rooms….None of them ever came forward to help us, to help me…I have been threatened, my father receives phone calls at work threatening his family…No one has ever tried to help us…" Kurt hands the microphone to Artie.

"My name is Artie…My wheelchair has been stolen so many times and recovered on the roof after I take a fall down the stairs…I have been slushied….Locked in a porta-potty…_Accidentally_ hit in the head by book bags…My lunch tipped in my lap or face…Some of you saw what happened to me, but you looked away when I needed someone to help me…I don't understand that…I don't understand how we are suppose to feel safe in school when no one will stand up for us…" Artie looks at his father who is crying. He never told his father about the bullying, he never wanted to break his heart this way. Artie hands the microphone to Rachel.

"I am Rachel Berry…I have been bullied since Middle School as well…I am Jewish and I have two GAY fathers…I dress differently from everyone else…I love to sing and to dance…I have been slushied eight times in one day….I have been locked in dark closets…I have been threatened by some of the bullies with physical harm….I have had notes stuck in my locker saying they hope my fathers die from AIDS…I have been shoved into lockers and gone home with bruises that I learned to cover up with concealor….I have heard some of the teachers say that if I just learned to fit in then it would not happen to me….

Why do I have to fit in? Why do I have to change who I am or who my family is? Why cant I be accepted for just being me?" Rachel looks at her fathers as they walk up to her. She gives each one a hug and they all walk back to stand beside Noah. She hands the microphone to Tina.

"I am Tina Chang-Cohen…I am half Asian and half Jewish…I am known as Asian One and my boyfriend Mike Chang is known as The Other Asian…I have been slushied…Shoved into lockers….Been called so many nasty names that I don't want to remember them…I have been threatened by the jock/bullies of this school with bodily harm on several occasions…I could point out every teacher that has seen this happened to me, but you all know who you are…

I like to dress like a Gothic…I like to wear dark Victorian vintage style clothing…I was told by Principal Figgins that I could not dress the way I like too, because he is afraid of vampires! The person in charge of our school is afraid of vampires! He is more worried about something that isn't real than of the things that actually happen here at school….But I am suppose to fit in…To dress like everyone else…That was his way to make the bullying go away…I am proud to be different…Not to be like everyone else…" Tina watches as her parents walk up the aisle towards her, their arms outstretched. After being hugged by both of her parents she hands the microphone to Mercedes.

"My name is Mercedes Jones…I am an African American…And I am damn proud of it! I am loud! I am different! I'm not gonna tell you all about what I have been through, cause all of you teachers know it already! You see it everyday at this school! What I am gonna say is….I know so many faces here tonight that have suffered like we all have! We are not the only ones to suffer from the bullying! We are not the only ones who live in fear everyday at this school that something is going to happen, something bad….Well it did happen! Look at my friend Noah! He almost died because the bullies thought he needed to learn a lesson! Because he was different from them! Different from you! But we ARE ALL DIFFERENT!

Tommy Kilner, weren't you thrown in the dumpsters before this happened on a daily basis? Brad Compton, weren't you shoved into the lockers all last week? Mary Ann Raines, didn't they lock you in the AV closet? George Mackin, didn't they threaten to push you off the roof if you didn't give them your homework?

All of you should be up here letting these jerks know what is going on at this school! This is never going to stop if you don't say something! We all have suffered at the hands of the jocks/bullies and the teachers! Their part in this, they let it continue! Please, I'm begging you! Come up here and tell your stories, make them listen to us!" Mercedes is crying as she begs the students sitting out there with there parents to be vocal about the abuse. Her mother emerges from the assembly and goes to her daughter telling her how much she loves her and is very proud of her….The microphone is taken by Burt…

"I am the parent of a GAY son…I'm not gonna lie and say it is easy, cause its not…But I accepted what my son is a long time ago…He is MY SON! I didn't stop loving him because he is different….He is the most courageous person I know…He walks with pride because he is different…He could of hid who he really is like so many kids do…He could have been like everyone else….Conform to the norm…But he didn't and he has suffered so much at the hands of the bullies of this school…He never told me how bad it really was until Noah was almost killed…He never told me the things these animals did to him or the other kids…He didn't want me going postal on the school, he thought it would make it worse…He was wrong…And all of you sitting out there tonight not saying anything or telling your kids to keep their mouths shut are wrong…

Our children are suppose to be safe at school…We pay the salaries of the teachers, the principal and this board…We pay these people to make sure our kids are safe here…That they are learning more than how to cover up a bruise…To keep an extra change of clothing in their locker in case they are hit with a slushie….To keep their own first aid kits in their lockers…

These kids should be worrying about school dances…Who they are going to ask out…Who is single…Who broke up with who…Not whether or not they are the next victims…All of you out there please come forward tonight…Parents if you even think your child is a victim of the bullies, please let your concerns be known tonight…

To all of you holding the signs….These are kids standing up here…Not adults…They are just young kids…Your signs are about hatred…You hate these kids from your own ignorance….You hate them because they have the guts to be who they are, not what you want them to be…Some of your signs say that God hates these kids…I am not a religious man, but the last time I read the Bible, God doesn't hate anyone! As a matter of fact he has always protected the children! Think about what you are saying to these kids…To your kids…They learn everything from you…" Burt watches in stunned disbelief as Carole walks up to him from the assembly and speaks in a loud voice…

"You teach your children hatred and jealousy…You also teach their friends the same lessons….I know this first hand because my son was the reason Noah was attacked by the bullies…He was jealous of Noah…He was so jealous that it turned to hate and that hatred is eating him alive…He acted as if nothing was wrong…He acted as a friend to Noah, a teammate…While deep inside he hated him…So now he is sitting in a jail cell and he will be sitting in one for the next seven years…

I never taught my son to hate…I taught him love, respect, and understanding…The hatred he learned from his friends and from all of you holding up the signs…He learned it was okay to hate someone because they are different…He learned from all of you that it is okay to attack what you don't understand…What you don't want to understand…All of you need to realize like Burt said…These are kids, just like your own kids…You are persecuting children for no other reason than ignorance…" Carole turns to Noah and bends down to face him.

"Noah…I am so sorry for doubting you….I know that I said some really nasty things to you and I am truly sorry for doing that…I accepted the plea agreement offered by Mr. Fann…I know that it was Finn's fault for what happened to you and I can never make it up to you…But I do hope that someday you can forgive me…" Carole stands back up and walks to stand beside Burt.

Just as the chairman thought the room was going to settle down, he watched as many more students walked to stand beside or behind Noah Puckerman. Each one telling a similar experience of bullying at the school. He watched as the signs began to waver, some of them even being sat on the floor. After an hour and a half of listening to parents and the students, the chairman issued a ruling of sorts.

"I have listened to more truths here tonight than have probably ever been said at this school…WMHS will remained closed for the next week…A no tolerance policy will be in effect when the school reopens…Cameras will be installed…Security will be in place…My colleagues and I will make sure that the bullying will stop! The teachers will report back Monday morning to begin a week long workshop about bullying and how to stop it. You will also have new guidelines for the principal to follow. Each and every one of you, the students, that were bullied have our most sincere apologies. This meeting is adjourned.


	26. How Much Is A Picture Worth?

_I know that some of you will hate the way I have written Quinn, but I never saw her as a victim in the baby gate drama…This chapter contains more language than anything…Don't mean to offend anyone…Just letting you know ahead of time…I hope this part explains some things about Noah too…As always my friends…I hope that you continue to follow the journey…And remember…No matter how dark the moment there is always love and hope…Peace my friends…Hemmy_

Chapter 26

How Much Is A Picture Worth

The media frenzy was calmer at the end, it seemed that they too were lost in their own thoughts. The stories that they heard from the students, from the parents. Broken bones, bruises, death threats, coerced sexual acts. The kids knew what the adults heard was hard to grasp, hard to believe. But they lived it. The startling information is being processed by news people. Very few questions were asked as everyone left the gymnasium. Many signs were left for the janitor to throw away.

After the assembly Papa Bear and his cubs head home. Each one lost in thought about what they had heard from the other students and the school board. Every one in the two vehicles said silent prayers The hopes of a brighter and more secure school was the one thing they all wanted.

Burt knew when he pulled into the driveway and heard the discussion of what to eat and which movie they were going to watch meant a sleep over. _God, I need a bigger house! And a bigger bank account! _He listens as the kids talk about Noah and his new room. How having a home would make him feel better. Burt smiled at the conversations and at the amount of love these kids possess.

The kids clamor out of the van and the truck. All talking to Noah at once about how much he will love his part of the room. Each one telling what part they played in decorating except for Rachel. She told him hers was a surprise and he would see it when he got there.

Noah feeling overwhelmed by all the attention and the fact everyone seems to be on a roll talking, he leans on Kurt as they walk into the house. The trip to the basement room is slow, Kurt making sure Noah takes his time. When they reach the bottom of the staircase Noah gasps at the sight in front of him.

Partitions are being moved by Sam and Burt to reveal his own space. A bed smaller than Kurt's but larger than a twin is situated in the middle of the wall. A soft down comforter is covering it with big soft pillows. In the middle of the pillows is a white unicorn with a rainbow shooting out of its ass. He knows that came from Brittany. It was her favorite stuffed animal. Noah walks to the bed touching the soft fabric. He blinks back the tears in his shining hazel eyes.

When he looks up at the wall he sees pictures of Glee rehearsals. Everyone in funny poses, funny expressions on their faces. He smiles at the memories. There is a music poster on the wall too, with the words, _music heals all wounds_. There is a chair on one side of the bed. It looks comfortable and soft.

The other side of the bed holds a night stand, lamp and more pictures. He walks over and sits down. He can only stare at the large collage. With shaking hands he reaches out and tries to pick it up, but it is too heavy. Rachel moves beside him and sets the large frame on his legs. "Surprise Noah." The words are softly spoken by Rachel.

Noah traces the outline of Beth's face in the picture frame…He looks at each picture, trying to memorize her face, her hair, her eyes…He cant believe that she has grown so much…She is sitting in a small red rocking chair smiling with a few small white teeth peeking out at the camera…She looks so happy…In another picture she is sitting beside a stack of Dr. Seuss books, her tiny hands holding Green Eggs and Ham. ….Another picture shows Beth in a Hanukah setting lighting a candle with Shelby, that one picture causes a sob to erupt from his lips, tears falling on the glass…Rachel sits beside him gently rubbing soothing circles over his slumped shoulders…She tells him that Shelby sends her warmest thoughts and hopes that he can recover soon…

Kurt stands to the side watching his boyfriend be comforted by Beth's sister. He knows this is a moment for them. He doesn't feel jealousy towards Rachel, just an empty sadness. He wants to share this with Noah but he really doesn't know how…When the true parentage of Beth came out, he like everyone else, treated Noah badly…They blamed him for keeping Quinn's secret, not Quinn for asking him to keep the secret…

There was so much wrong with what happened during baby gate…Too many secrets…Too many people blaming Noah and not blaming Quinn…Noah was basically ostracized by everyone including the Glee Club…Including Kurt himself…

He remembers the concern that Noah had shown Quinn every time the boy was around her…The looks he would cast her way…The fact that he wanted to be a father to Beth…Paying the medial bills…Giving her a place to live when the truth did come out that he was the father…Noah tried, really tried to be there for Quinn, but she always found a reason or a way to hurt him…

Kurt notices the way she looks away from the scene playing out in front of her. He remembers when Rachel passed the collage around for everyone to see earlier, Quinn walked away. She would not even look at her daughter. Now she is standing by the stairs with her arms crossed over her chest looking like she would rather be anywhere but here. Sam tries to coax her over to the pictures and she quietly tells him that is not her daughter. Kurt feels like he can read her mind, _it isn't Noah's daughter either. _

Rachel stands up from the bed and motions for Kurt to join Noah. She asks everyone to meet her upstairs that she need to talk to them about something important. No one protests, they all have an idea of what Rachel is up to of sorts.

Kurt watches as all their friends ascend the stairs leading to the kitchen. He turns to Noah who is still staring at the pictures of his daughter. He slips an arm around Noah's waist.

"She looks just like you Noah… The dark hair…The hazel eyes…Her smile is just like yours…It was a wonderful thing Rachel did for you, it was all her idea too…" Kurt wipes the tears away from the dark cheeks.

"She is so big Kurt…I wonder if she is walking yet? Has she taken her first steps? Is she babbling Shelby's ears off yet? Can she say momma? Can she say…..dada?" The emotions are too much for Noah as he breaks down in Kurt's arms, the sobs muffled in Kurt's shoulder. Kurt places the collage back on the bedside table.

Kurt can make out a few words through the sobs..._I didn't want to…could of…a good father…keep her_…Kurt simply holds him tighter, trying to be careful of his injuries but at the same time he knows Noah needs to feel secure, to feel someone hold him.

"Noah I know you wanted to keep her…To be a good father to her….Maybe Shelby will let you be a part of her life…She sent the pictures and a message to you…Maybe there is hope…" Kurt doesn't know what else to say to Noah. He understands that Noah needs hope, something to hang on to while he is going through the aftermath. Noah calms at the words spoken by Kurt.

They both hear the yelling going on upstairs and Kurt helps Noah to climb the stairs to see what is going on. Quinn's voice is becoming louder and clearer as they get closer to the kitchen doorway.

Rachel has everyone's attention upstairs in the kitchen. She asks Burt to join them to unveil her surprise for Noah.

"I asked you all up here to see who wanted to be involved in what I have planned this weekend…I have a surprise planned for Noah…Shelby will bring Beth to visit Noah… She knows what is going on with Noah, the attack and his injuries…I thought it would do him some good to spend time with her…To get to know his daughter….And Shelby wants him to be a part of Beth's life…" Rachel is interrupted by a pissed off Quinn.

"BETH IS NOT HIS DAUGHTER! HE GAVE HER UP, JUST LIKE I DID! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS RACHEL? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO PUCK? GIVING HER UP WAS THE BEST THING FOR ME! FOR HIM! EVERYTHING IS BACK TO THE WAY IT SHOULD BE!" Quinn is shaking her finger in Rachel's face, her face bright red in anger.

"BETH WILL ALWAYS BE NOAH'S DAUGHTER QUINN! HE NEVER WANTED TO GIVE HER UP! THAT WAS ALL YOU! HE WANTED TO BE A FATHER TO HER AND HE WOULD HAVE MADE A GREAT ONE! YOU ARE THE ONE THAT DIDN'T WANT HER! SHE SERVED YOUR PURPOSE AND THEN YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO GIVE HER AWAY!

I TALKED WITH SHELBY LAST NIGHT FOR _A LONG TIME_! SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAS BEEN SENDING YOU PICTURES AND UPDATES OF BETH SINCE THE ADOPTION WITH THE UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU WERE PASSING COPIES TO NOAH! YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN NOAH ANY OF THEM!" Rachel stops her rant when she sees Noah and Kurt standing in the doorway.

"**WHAT THE HELL QUINN? YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING PICTURES…LETTERS ABOUT BETH AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME**?" Noah is screaming at Quinn. He heard what Rachel had said to the Cheerio and he loses it. He walks into the room with Kurt walking beside him.

"**SHE IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER ANYMORE! SHE NEVER WAS! **_**SHE WAS A MISTAKE**_!"

"**DON'T YOU EVER SAY MY FUCKING CHILD WAS A MISTAKE QUINN! SHE IS A PART OF ME! A PART THAT I COULD NEVER FORGET! WHY QUINN?**" As Noah walks towards Quinn everyone else steps away from her, even Sam. "**HOW CAN YOU BE SO DAMN CRUEL TO ME? HOW COULD YOU KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME?**"

"EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL! I AM HEAD CHEERIO AND YOU'RE BACK ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM! YOU HAD SANTANA, NOW KURT AND I HAVE SAM! I HAVE MY WHOLE LIFE BACK! SO DO YOU! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! YOU DON'T HAVE A BABY HOLDING YOU BACK PUCK!" Quinn yells at Noah.

"**I GUESS YOU MISSED THE GODDAMN PART WHERE I DIDN'T WANT TO FUCKING LIVE ANYMORE! THE PART WHERE I WASN'T EVEN THERE IN MY OWN HEAD ANYMORE! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST QUINN! DID YOU KNOW I CRIED FOR…I DON'T REMEMBER HOW LONG…DAYS…MONTHS…I STILL BREAKDOWN THINKING ABOUT HER! I SPENT SO MANY DAMN LONG NIGHTS LAYING IN BED WONDERING WHAT SHE LOOKED LIKE! WHAT SHE HAD LEARNED TO DO! AND THIS WHOLE TIME YOU KNEW! YOU FUCKING HAD PICTURES OF HER GROWING UP!**" Noah is screaming at her. He is hurting so much. His heart, his head…It hurts to breathe….He remembers her calling him a Lima Loser…That she wanted Finn to be the father…He remembers how Beth was conceived…He has lived with a lie long enough…

"**YOU GODDAMN FRIGID FUCKING BITCH! YOU SIT ON YOUR FUCKING ICE THRONE! HEAD CHEERIO! HAVE TO BE THE FUCKING PROM QUEEN! NOTHING WAS GOING TO STAND IN YOUR WAY OF BEING NUMBER ONE!**

**DO YOU REMEMBER THE NIGHT WE MADE BETH? THE NIGHT I SUPPOSEDLY **_**GOT YOU DRUNK OFF TWO WINE COOLERS**_**? WHY DON'T YOU TELL EVERYONE HERE THE TRUTH? WHY DON'T YOU TELL EVERYONE WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THAT NIGHT?**" He watches Quinn start to shake in anger and fear.

"**NO…THEN I WILL…I HAVE KEPT YOUR FUCKING SECRETS FOR SO LONG…I REMEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY! THE TEXT MESSAGES…THE PHONE CALLS…YOU WERE MAD AT FINN…HE COULDN'T STOP THE EARLY DELIVERIES…HE COULDN'T TAKE YOUR CHERRY…QUEEN OF THE CHASITY COURT WANTED TO FUCK AND HER BOYFRIEND COULDN'T DO IT! SO YOU CALLED ME! **

**YOU **_**JUST WANTED **_**TO GET DRUNK THAT NIGHT! YOU **_**JUST WANTED **_**TO FORGET THAT FINN COULDN'T FUCK YOU! THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME! YOU ASKED ME TO BRING SOME LIQUIOR AND **_**TO JUST HANG OUT WITH YOU**_**! REMEMBER QUINN? **_**YOU JUST WANTED TO HANG OUT**_**! BULLSHIT**! _**YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED FROM ME!**_

**YOU KEPT TELLING ME HOW I HAD BEEN WITH MOST OF THE CHEERIOS, THE COUGARS…THAT I SHOULD KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING…THAT YOU WANTED ME TO BE YOUR FIRST…THAT YOU WANTED TO BE WITH ME…GOD I WAS SUCH A FOOL…AS SOON AS WE WERE FINISHED YOU THREW ME OUT! YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED FROM ME AND THEN YOU THREW ME OUT! **

**YOU STARTING SAYING HOW I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU BEING DRUNK! HOW IT WAS MY FAULT THAT YOU WERE PREGNANT! YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU ALMOST DESTROYED ME! THEN YOU TOOK THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME! YOU GAVE AWAY MY DAUGHTER! AND THE REALLY SAD PART IS…**_**I LET YOU**_**!**" Noah is so emotionally spent that he collapses against Kurt and Burt has to help catch him. Noah clings to Burt, burying his face in the warm flannel of Burt's shirt. Papa Bear's arms holding him tight against his chest, telling him that he is okay…That everything is going to be okay…

"**YOU ARE GOING TO BELIEVE HIM? YOU BELIEVE PUCK OVER ME?**" Quinn looks at the faces of the other Glee members. She can see the anger in their eyes, the hard expressions on their faces. Kurt steps towards her.

"Yes Quinn we are…Noah was right…**You are a fucking bitch! **You kept his daughter away from him…You lied to all of us about what happened…I know that Finn had a problem…He talked to me about it…He asked me for help once, if I knew what to do about it….I didn't know how to help him….

Noah kept your secrets…_**every single one of them**_…He took the blame for the pregnancy…He let you destroy him…He never fought back when Finn tried beat the hell out of him in the Choir Room the day he found out that Noah was the father…Noah didn't even try to protect himself…

**What did he get for it? He was shut out by all of us, treated like shit because of you! **He never said a word to anyone…You treated him worse than we did…You shut him out of the pregnancy…Noah wanted to everyone to know that he was the father, not Finn…YOU wouldn't let him…Did you ever let him feel her move while she was inside of you? Did you every get him a copy of the sonogram? Did you let him hold her when she was born?

**You make me sick Quinn**…You are far worse a bully than Noah ever thought about being…You used his own child against him…You used a child to ensure that you garnered all the attention, all the sympathy…**All you ever thought about was yourself!**" Kurt would love to slap the cold bitch's face, but he was taught to never hit a girl. Even though he was sure by the way his father was looking at the Cheerio he would not say a word to him if Kurt did hit her.

Burt surprises everyone when he speaks to Quinn.

"I think you need to leave my home. I believe this boy is a lot of things but to take advantage of a girl isn't one of them. And let me tell you something honey, **two wine coolers aint shit! **They have less alcohol than the beer I drink. **SO YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW!**" Burt tries to gather Noah in his arms but the boy fights him, trying to keep his feet on the floor.

Sam watches as Noah struggles against Papa Bear, he calmly walks over to where Burt and Noah are standing. He whispers something in Noah's ear and gently wraps his arms around him like he did in the bathroom at the hospital. He starts towards the basement door, carrying an exhausted Noah when Quinn's shrill voice can be heard.

"SEE KURT! YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE NOAH TO SAM! THEY HAVE BEEN SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND YOUR BACK…" Quinn is cut off by an enraged Sam.

"**SHUT THE FUCK UP! KURT IS NOT GOING TO LOSE NOAH TO ME! I AM NOAH'S FRIEND! THAT'S ALL! JESUS QUINN! STOP TRYING TO INSTIGATE A FIGHT BETWEEN ME AND KURT!**" Sam turns to Kurt who is shooting daggers at him. "If you want to know what is going on you will have to ask Noah…I promised him I wouldn't say anything to anyone and I am not going to break my promise to him…But we are not doing anything wrong! He loves you Kurt…**Don't let that bitch make you doubt that!**" Sam takes Noah downstairs with Burt following him.

"**GET HER THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!**" Kurt looks at Mercedes before he starts down the stairs.

"**GET OUT QUINN! IF YOU STAY HERE I THINK I JUST MIGHT BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU! AND AS MAD AS I AM…BITCH I CAN DO IT!**" Mercedes points a manicured finger at Quinn.

"**AND IF SHE CANT…I CAN!**" Every one turns to see a tear stained Tina approaching Quinn like she is prey and Tina is the predator. No one has ever seen the quiet Goth so upset. Her eyes are full of anger and her fists are curling up at her sides as she begins to encroach Quinn's personal space.

Rachel opens the front door of the Hummel home and watches as Quinn backs her way to the exit she is offering.

"**JUST WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START BACK! I WILL MAKE ALL YOUR LIVES MISERABLE! I WILL MAKE SURE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU SUFFER!**" Quinn screams as she steps out of the house.

"**GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT QUINN!**" Rachel and Brittany tell her as Rachel slams the door. Mercedes high fives them with a wide smile. "Way to go Rachel and Brittany!"

"Doesn't she realize that what she is planning will be considered bullying?" Brittany is asking Artie with a knowing smile. "The new No Tolerance rule, wont that get her in trouble?"

"Let it be babe…Quinn has to answer for all the bullshit she has caused in her life…I cant believe she would treat Puck that way…To keep knowledge of his daughter from him…She will get what she has coming to her..." Artie pulls Brittany down on his lap, kissing her cheek softly.

"You were awesome! Puck and Kurt will be proud of you! Asian kiss for my fire breathing dragon?" Mike looks at Tina who still surprises him everyday. The way she stalked Quinn was a definitely a turn on, but he wasn't going to tell her that until they were alone. Tina nods at him and wraps her arms around Mike letting all the tension slip from her body as their lips softly meet.

Rachel and Mercedes orders food for everyone. They talk about what is happening downstairs. Everyone converges in the living room to wait for Sam and Burt to come back upstairs.

Kurt goes to turn Noah's bed down when he hears the Mohawked boy tell Sam to put him on the couch. Burt is arguing with Noah about going to bed and Noah quietly argues back that he has been in bed for the last few days and he would just like to spend time with Kurt and the rest of his friends. Maybe watch a movie or just hang out. Burt gives in finally after getting Noah to agree to take his pain medication. Burt knows it will make him sleepy and the boy needs to rest.

Sam is whispering quietly to Noah. He knows that Kurt needs some explanations about the last couple of days. He lets Noah know that he will take Burt upstairs with him so Noah and Kurt can talk in private. Noah thanks Sam and tells Burt that he will take the medicine in a little while. Sam and Burt head upstairs to find out what everyone else is doing.

"Am I allowed to ask what Sam was whispering to you just now or is that a secret too?" Kurt is agitated with the entire night. Each time he stands up for Noah Sam is there to take care of Noah. Or Rachel. Or his Dad. Everyone but him. He knows that he is being ridiculous and he should not listen to the doubts planted by Quinn. But he feels the pangs of jealousy growing in his heart. He stands beside the couch, just out of Noah's reach.

"Kurt listen to me….You have nothing to be jealous of…Sam is my friend, THAT'S ALL…

Sam helped me out a couple of times…He went with me to Finn's room…He wouldn't let me go alone…And then he helped me contact Mr. Fann to set up a meeting for this morning…I wanted Finn, all of them, to spend more time in prison…He was there this morning at the meeting…I thought YOU would be there when I woke up…I was going to tell you before he got there this morning but _you were gone…_

Did you know that Sam stood up for you? He told me that I could trust you, because you love me. He doesn't want to come between us Kurt. He just wants to be my friend. And yours too.

Don't let that fucking bitch get to you…She is only trying to cause trouble between us…It's like a game to her…And we are the pieces she moves around on her twisted board…She wants you to be jealous of Sam…To cause friction between us…I thought she had changed a little bit…But after tonight I know she is still the same conniving, manipulative, ice bitch from hell…

Everything that happened tonight with Quinn makes it even harder for me to trust now…She kept things about Beth from me…She had _all_ the information, pictures and I had _nothing_…I would never have known if it wasn't for Rachel talking to Shelby…" Noah reaches out to Kurt and watches as Kurt sits down at the other end of the couch. He knows Kurt is upset with him.

"So you felt like you could trust Sam more than ME? That you could turn to him for help instead of ME? Noah I would have been there for you…I would have done all the things that Sam did for you if you had let me…I want to be the one that you trust completely…I don't want to sit on the sidelines and watch as Rachel, Sam or my father comfort you, help you…That is suppose to be me…I am the one you love…" Kurt is feeling insecure and has been since he saw Sam carrying Noah out of the bathroom. In all honesty, he had been feeling like this since his Dad handed him his ass over the way he kept walking away from Noah.

"Kurt I love you and I have no doubt that you love me…But trust has always been hard for me…Even before all this happened, I never really trusted anyone…I trusted my Dad and he left…I started trusting Finn and he betrayed me…And I don't know if I ever will be able to trust someone completely…But I am trying…It's just…." Noah watches as Kurt slowly moves to sit beside him. He feels Kurt's hand gently brush his chest, he reaches for the hand. Kurt doesn't hesitate wrapping his fingers around Noah's.

"It just hurts Noah…I know…Watching everyone else comfort you…Be there for you…Sometimes I feel left out…And this morning…I didn't want to disturb you sleeping so I told the nurse to tell you that my Dad needed me here and that I would be back soon…I'm so sorry Noah…" Kurt lays his forehead against the side of Noah's head, needing the touch, the comfort for himself.

"It's okay…I know that you wouldn't hurt me…It's just that, Kurt I know that part of what I am feeling is from the stupid drugs I took….And part of it is real…I am honestly scared of all the feelings that go through my mind all the time….But I know what is real when it comes to you…I love you…I loved you before the drugs…Deep down inside I know I can trust you…Just help me remember that….

I want you to be there for me….I really do…But you have to let other people be there for me too…Like Sam…Rachel…Brittany…Artie…Mike…Tina…and lord help us Mercedes…And your Dad too…Sometimes its easier talking to them…Just remember its **me** not you that is screwed up right now…" Noah turns his head towards Kurt's and seeks out his soft vanilla lips. After several soft chaste kisses they hear voices at the top of the stairs, one in particular. Papa Bear…

"Your clothes had better be on when we all get down there or I am going to drop Artie and start tanning some boys hides!" Burt smiles at Artie who had jumped at the sound of Burt's booming voice and the threat of being dropped. Artie smiles weakly back at Burt. Artie was being carried by Burt so that wouldn't have to deal with his chair and the steps.

Sam laughs at the squeaks he hears from Kurt and from the sound of a thump, the soft expletives; Kurt fell off the couch in surprise. Sam's arms full of pizza boxes with Chinese food boxes sitting on top of them as he makes his way down the stairs.

"I would listen to Papa Bear, he's been growling at us upstairs." Mercedes joins in, she really didn't want to see the boys naked, not yet anyway. Her arms are full of Chinese food boxes following Sam down the stairs.

"I thought that was his stomach that was growling Mercy? That's what Rachel said anyways." Brittany looks back at Rachel with quizzical eyes. She is carrying several pizza boxes.

Rachel just shakes her head at Brittany. She is carrying the paper plates, napkins, and silverware. She loves the ditzy blonde, more than she ever realized until tonight. She has a new respect for Brittany.

Mike and Tina are bringing up the rear with an ice chest full of soda, beer-for Burt only, and bottled water. Mike is laughing at Kurt too. "I thought I heard something hit the floor down there…" Tina gives a death glare that turns into a big smile. She heard the noise too.

"You all suck! Dad we aren't naked! We were just talking…" Kurt's face is a flaming red.

"And making out a little bit Mr. H…OW! Kurt that hurt!" Noah is rubbing his arm from where Kurt pinched him. He sticks his tongue out at Kurt.

"At least one of you will tell me the truth…Maybe I should move Kurt upstairs…" Burt laughs at the indignant huff from his son. He places Artie in the chair beside Noah's bed, he knows Brittany will sit in Artie's lap. She always does. "Give me a hand Sam." Burt and Sam move the chair closer to the couch and the tv.

The girls start getting the food boxes open, Rachel handing out the plates and silverware. Everyone eventually finds a place to sit comfortably and the movie discussion starts with "hell no" to musicals from the most of the guys.

Burt suggests the latest Too Fast Too Furious. He loves cars and he knows the girls like Vin Diesel. After a brief discussion of who was hotter between the two main stars of the movie, Kurt pushes play. Burt hands Noah his pain meds and _tells _him to take them. Noah doesn't argue this time.

Before the movie is over, Noah is sleeping with his head on Kurt's shoulder and his legs across Burt. Both have an arm either around or across the sleeping jock.

When the movie is over, Rachel and Brittany turn down Noah's bed. Sam is surprised by a request from Kurt….

"Sam would you please help me…I don't think I can carry him to bed by myself…" Kurt's eyes are full of an unspoken apology and a plea for help with his boyfriend.

"Sure Kurt…" Sam gets up off the floor and once again scoops Noah into his arms. He watches as Kurt walks to the bed and follows him, gently laying Noah down. He moves one of the privacy partitions to give them a little privacy. Kurt reemerges from behind it a moment later.

Brittany slips out of Artie's lap and picks up the unicorn from Kurt's bed and places the soft stuffed animal under the covers next to Noah. "Sparky will keep the bad dreams away", she quietly tells Kurt as she sits down in Artie's lap again. Everyone including Burt hopes that she is right.

Burt helps the kids clean up the take out containers while Kurt grabs pillows and blankets for everyone. Artie and Brittany take the couch. Tina and Mike take a place next to it on the floor. While Rachel and Mercedes inform Kurt that they are sharing his bed. Sam opts for the big soft chair.

Burt makes sure that his cubs are all safe before he heads upstairs. He takes a long moment by Noah's bed. He watches the jock sleep for a minute noticing the deep lines around the young man's eyes. Burt thinks Noah is too young for crows feet, but with everything he has been through he has earned every single one of them. He reaches out and gently rubs the stripe of hair before heading upstairs to his own bed.


	27. My Reflection, A Red Fire Extinguisher a

_In writing this chapter I called upon a Dragon, one that helped me in understanding what type of pain someone can go through the first time that they actually look at themselves in the mirror after an attack…So my deepest thanks to the Dragon! Noah knows what they did to him, he was there…But it is different to actually see it, all of it for the first time….This chapter is unusually long due to trying to capture the day and the events…Plus when I started writing it, it just wouldn't stop until it wanted to…So please continue with me on this journey…And Beth will be making her first appearance in the next chapter…She is going to play an important part in his healing and recapturing what he has lost…Peace my friends! Hemmy _

Chapter 27

My Reflection, A Red Fire Extinguisher and A Ford

Noah was the first to wake up the next morning. Something soft and furry was against his face, a slender arm was wrapped around his waist. He intertwined his fingers with the hand without looking at who the arm belonged to, he thinks Kurt. He looks to see who is in Kurt's bed and finds Mercedes, Rachel snuggled up to his boyfriend. _What/who the hell_? He then looks at the hand closely and sees the painted finger nails, slightly turning his head to find Brittany looking back at him with soft blue eyes.

"Um, good morning Brittany. Why are you in my bed and not snuggled up to Artie on the couch?" Noah looks nervously at the rest of the sleeping teenagers, hoping that no one sees her in his bed.

"You were having a nightmare earlier. I heard you whimpering and mumbling words in your sleep. I thought I would help Sparky chase them off. Everyone else was asleep and I am not scared to hold you Noah." Brittany looks at Noah with a knowing look and a soft smile. "You got quiet when I laid down with you. I am sorry that he tried to, you know, rape you."

"Britt, I don't know what I said.." Noah turns his head away trying to hide the look of shame, he knows his eyes will betray him. Brittany knew him better than anyone and in a way he was glad.

"You kept telling him to stop and you were fighting, you kept putting your hands over your _self_." She takes her hand and strokes his stripe of dark hair, she feels him relax a little bit in her arms. "You know I wont say anything to any of the others when you are ready to talk about it, not even Kurt. But I think you should talk to him about it and not keep it bottled up inside of you."

"He knows what that prick tried to do to me Britt, I just…I am not ready to talk about a lot of things yet. I keep seeing and feeling everything that happened to me and I don't want anyone's pity. I just want to be normal again, you know?" Noah rolls carefully onto his back looking at the blonde girl who means more to him than he would ever admit.

"I know you do Noah and I want the real you back. I don't want Puck back, he was an asshole to everyone, except me. Even when you changed you were always good to me. Why?" Brittany has always wondered why he never treated her any differently, he stayed her friend even when he was being a douche. She remembers the little surprises he left in her locker, the candies and the small trinkets.

"I was never angry at you. I was angry at everyone else. You never walked away from me Britt. You were always there. That summer when everything changed, you were the one person that never doubted me. You accepted me. Thank you for that Britt." He smiles at her laying his hand on top of hers. His mind goes back to that summer and he remembers the long summer nights that they spent together. If he could ever love a girl it would be her. But the love he feels in his heart for her is different than the love he feels for Kurt. Brittany was the best friend he should have had instead of Finn.

"I told Kurt about that summer, I hope that you are not mad but he wanted to know why Puck was created. He wasn't upset or at least he didn't act like he was, he wanted to kill Finn and Karofsky for what they did to you. But he said that he was okay with what happened between us."

Noah thinks about what Britt just said to him. She was his first and he was her first. She was also Kurt's experiment when he thought being John Melloncamp was what Burt wanted from him. _Oh my God!_

"Well let's hope Jerry Springer or Muray never get us on their shows. Or Oprah for that matter. That would be an embarrassing story." Noah laughs softly and kisses Brittany's cheek. She smiles at Noah and kisses his cheek in return. "Do you know what I would like to do Britt?"

"Don't you want to do that with Kurt?" Brittany raises her eyebrows at him in confusion.

"Not that and yes someday I do want to do that with Kurt." He waggles his eyebrows at her with a smile. "I would love to take a shower and actually get cleaned up before the others wake up. Would you help me with my bandages?"

"Sure, but you don't want Kurt to help you?"

"I'm not ready for him to see me…um…naked yet. It's not him its me. I'm just not ready for that yet, okay?" Noah can still feel Karofsky's hands on him and he can feel the razor cutting him every time his abdomen throbs in pain. He knows that Kurt will want to touch him, to touch the cuts. He doesn't want to see the pity in Kurt's eyes or the repulsion either. "Do you know what Burt did with the supplies the hospital sent?"

"I think they are upstairs on the kitchen table. I will go look if you want me to?" Brittany raises up on her elbow and puts her feet on the soft carpet.

"Could you help me first with my hands? Just help me unwrap them and I can do the rest." Noah starts to sit up hoping that no one else wakes up before he is through with his shower. Brittany nods at Noah walking towards Kurt's bathroom. He walks to the dresser Kurt said was his and found another pair of sweat pants, boxers, and a tee shirt. He walks slow, his body still aching and stiff.

It doesn't take long for Brittany to unwrap Noah's hands. She gasps at the sight in front of her, she reaches out to gently hold one of his hands. Noah flinches at the sound she makes but he lets her touch him. He watches her, feels her turn his hand over looking at the jagged holes that are healing. He looks into her blue eyes and sees only love there.

"I will be back in a minute. Don't lock the door please, that way I can set the stuff you need in here. Okay?" Brittany understands Noah's need for privacy but they still need to be able to help him if he needs it. But she doesn't say that to him. She watches him nod at her and she turns to leave.

Noah looks at his face in the mirror for the first time since the attack. His face is littered with bruises some darker than the others. He tilts his head to the side, looking at the white bandage that is covering the stitches in his scalp. He slowly removes it, his fingertips gliding across the erratic line of red and black. He closes his eyes at the memory flash and the pain. His knees falter for a moment, almost buckling until he opens his eyes, _I'm here not the creek._

Noah takes a deep breath before clumsily pulling the too large tee shirt over his head, his hands ache from the fumbling movements, his upper body trembling from the pain he feels with each movement. He steps back from his own reflection, horrified at the fact that he knows who gave him each bruise. The fist imprint by his ribs was from Azimio, the partial sneaker print was from Karofsky, and darkest bruise with a horse shoe shape came from Finn. There are many more but Noah shakes his head trying to clear it. _It's over. I'm not there. I am here in Kurt's house. _

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me_

_With these broken wings_

_I'm fallin'And all I see is you_

Noah's hands move to the top of the white bandage showing from under the waist band of his sweats and boxers. His hands freeze, fingertips slightly under the elastic. He doesn't want to see the cuts, he doesn't have to see the cuts. He closes his eyes, his breaths coming in gasps. He is back there being held down, the sound of their voices roaring in his ears. He doesn't realize when it happens or how long he has been on the floor. He just starts fighting when he feels the touch of someone's hands on his arms.

_These city walls ain't got no love for me_

_I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story_

_And all I scream for you_

_Come please I'm callin_

_'And all I need from you_

_Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

Burt had been upstairs making coffee and getting ready to head into work for the first time in almost a week when he heard one of the cubs emerge from the basement. He looked up to find the blonde, Brittany, walking into the kitchen.

"Good morning Papa Bear.' Brittany smiles at Burt watching him shake his head at the nickname. She knows he secretly loves the name and the attention he gets from the Gleeks.

"Morning Brittany. Is anyone else awake downstairs? I made coffee if anyone wants any." Burt refills his mug. After the movie he had read the paperwork the doctor sent home about Noah until finally passing out in his own bed.

"Just me and Noah. He had a nightmare. But Sparky helped me chase the bad things away last night. He is taking a shower and asked me to get the stuff the hospital sent home." Brittany walks over to the table and picks up the plastic bag with Lima General on it. She goes back downstairs waving at Papa Bear.

When Brittany tells him about the nightmare, Burt remembers the medications that Noah has to take and the schedule he is suppose to be on with them. He looks at the clock and it is a little after seven. The kids are going to go back to school in a week so now would be a good time to start his routine. He takes the pill bottles down from the cabinet by the sink reading the dosage takes the appropriate amount and a glass of water following Brittany down to the basement.

Burt hears Brittany squeak and the sounds of a struggle in Kurt's bathroom. He sets the pills and glass of water down on Kurt's vanity and walks through the opened door. He sees Brittany trying to defend herself against Noah's flailing arms and can hear her soft voice trying to calm him down.

_Prison gates won't open up for me_

_On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'_

_Oh, I reach for you_

_Well I'm terrified of these four walls_

_These iron bars can't hold my soul in_

_All I need is you_

Burt gently moves her back away from Noah telling her to close the door and lock it so the others cant come barging in and make this worse. He yells out for the others to stay away from the door no matter what before she closes the door.

Sitting on the floor, he then wraps his arms around the struggling teen from behind, pulling him against his chest. Burt tells Noah to let it out, to scream if he wants to, to cry, to fight, to just let it all out.

_Come please I'm callin__'_

_And oh I scream for you_

_Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

Noah tries to fight against Burt, his eyes closed tightly shut. He swings his arms, kicking his legs. He cant really feel the pain that is wracking his body. He screams out in anger, frustration, and in fear. All the emotions that are bottled up inside of him fighting for release. He hears another voice joining his, shouting obscenities at his attackers. Burt is yelling with him and then Brittany joins them shouting at the air telling them to leave him alone. The three of them shout and scream for several minutes.

_Show me what it's like_

_To be the last one standin__g_

_And teach me wrong from right_

_And I'll show you what I can be_

Noah finally slumps against Burt, becoming aware of the pain that is coursing through his body. He can feel Brittany wrapping her arms around both him and Burt. They both tell him that he is safe and that they will always be there for him to chase away the ghosts. The tears that fall are for many reasons, from each one of them. Each of Noah's hands are being carefully held by the two people that rode the storm of his emotions out with him.

_And say it for me, say it to me_

_And I'll leave this life behind me_

_Say it if it's worth saving me_

Burt is the one to finally break the silence that they fell into, just holding on to the fractured young man.

"How about that shower Noah?" Burt keeps his tone light as he and Brittany help Noah to stand up. He notices the small nod that Noah gives him. Burt asks Brittany to grab Noah's meds off Kurt's vanity along with the glass of water.

Brittany appears in the doorway with her hands extended towards Noah. Noah swallows the pills, holding onto the glass with both shaking hands. She had motioned for everyone to stay back away from the bathroom. "I'm going to stay out here and let everybody know that you are okay Noah. You're in good hands with Papa. If you need me just let me know, okay?" Brittany smiles at both of them before closing the door behind her.

Burt watches as Noah keeps his head down not looking in the mirror. He thinks he knows what caused the meltdown. Noah had not seen the damage they did to his body, feeling it was different than seeing all the bruises, the stitches. "Noah do you trust me? I mean really trust me?" Burt watches Noah's eyes for the truth.

"Yes, just please don't hurt me or walk away from me Mr. H" the pleading in Noah's eyes and voice tell Burt that Noah wants to trust him.

"I want you to look at me in the mirror", he watches Noah shake his head no. Burt takes Noah's chin in his hand and lifts it up. He can feel Noah start to tremble, "its okay I'm standing right here Noah." He watches as Noah finally brings his eyes to the mirror, Burt waves at Noah. _Yeah its kinda childish but comforting at the same time._ "Okay that was the easy part, now comes the hard part. You have one bandage left to take off Noah, one injury left to look at." Burt watches as Noah shakes his head no, his dark umber eyes sparkling with fresh tears.

"Son you have to face this part, you have to face what they did to you. If you don't do this then they will have destroyed a part of you, a part that you will never get back. You are strong! You survived everything they did to you! You faced Finn, the cops, the people at school, that prosecutor guy! I know you are scared son, but I am right here. I am not going anywhere without you and Kurt with me."

Noah looks at the man in the mirror, the eyes showing nothing but support and love. He slowly slips the tips of his fingers under both waistbands pulling them down to the bottom of the bandage. His hands are shaking so bad that he grips the vanity edge for just a moment trying to calm his nerves. Taking a deep breath he reaches and pulls the bandage away in one motion.

He stares at his reflection willing his eyes to look down to see what he knows is there. Two inch tall, jagged red lines form the word FAGGOT and the swastika symbol. They lay just below his belly button, where the waist band of his low rider jeans rest.

His eyes take in his whole reflection, all the damage done to him physically is on display in the mirror. The finger/hand bruises on his arms, the rope burns on his wrists, bruises on his neck, everything is staring back at him in the mirror. A strangled cry leaves his lips as his eyes finally see what his mind has blocked out.

After a few moments, Noah looks at Burt watching his face for any sign of disgust or pity, finding none. He takes a deep breath, willing the tears back, "I survived" the words are barely spoken out loud but Burt knows it is a start. Burt simply hugs Noah nodding his head.

He watches Noah turn and start the water in shower. Burt offers Noah his privacy knowing that he needs to talk with the kids. Like Brittany he asks that Noah doesn't lock the door as he steps out of the bathroom.

Brittany has filled everyone in on what was happening with Noah. The nightmare, the flashback, the screaming and the fighting. She watches the expressions go from concerned to horrified at the picture she painted for them. Kurt is crying in Mercedes shoulder that he should have been in there with Noah, to help him, to take care of him. Burt hears his son's mutterings as he walks out of the bathroom door.

"Kurt he is doing better now and taking a shower. Let him have his privacy, I mean it Kurt." Burt looks at the red, puffy face of his son. He watches Kurt stand and motions for him to sit back down. He hates what he is about to tell him, but he knows it is time to set down some rules. He looks at the other kids that share either tear stained faces or shocked scared expressions.

"Kids we need to have a meeting about Noah. I read some of the information the doctor sent home last night. It isn't going to be easy, but I need for each of you to listen to the things I am about to say to you. And the rules are going to apply to everyone." Burt looks directly at Kurt when he says the word everyone.

"Noah is very fragile right now. All of you have to be strong, to be ready for him to fall apart and help pick up the pieces. You cant show that you are upset or hurting because of what he is going through. The old adage of misery loves company cannot apply to this situation with Noah. In other words the longer he is strangled by fear and self doubt the longer it will take him to get back to who he once was and even then Noah Puckerman is never going to be the same young man.

So here are the new rules in regards to Noah and being around him. No crying is allowed in front of him. None. If you feel like you have to cry go outside, go into the next room, take a walk. **DO NOT CRY IN FRONT OF HIM!**

Do not baby him at all. If he needs something let him get it. If he needs help doing something then help him **DO NOT DO IT FOR HIM. **

If Noah wants to talk about what happened to him let him, don't make comments to him about what he is saying to you. **JUST LET HIM TALK ABOUT IT**. You weren't there, _you cannot sympathize with him_. Don't make judgments about what happened, just listen to him, be there for him.

If he starts to have a panic attack you must stay calm, If you cannot stay calm come and get me or someone else. If you are at school then go and get the nurse or a teacher but make sure that one of you is with him so that he is not alone. If you start panicking then it will cause him to panic more. **KEEP YOUR HEAD AND STAY CALM.**

I am going to make copies of the symptoms for seizures. I want each of you to learn them. If you notice any of them happening with Noah call an ambulance immediately. I don't care where you are school, here, the mall, wherever **CALL FOR HELP IMMEDIATELY! **

Now for the hard part of this conversation. Kurt this includes you too. If I see or hear any of you breaking the rules that I just set down for Noah then you will not be allowed back in this house until I know you can follow the rules. Kurt if you break the rules I am sure Mercedes will let you stay with her or Tina." Burt watches his son's face twitch with fury, his fists clenching and unclenching.

"I am doing this for Noah. I am not doing this to be mean or to keep any of you away from him. But Noah needs strength and the right kind of support from each one of you. If any of you have any problems or questions with these rules please say something now." Burt knows Kurt is going to have a complete bitch fit but he is going to stand by his rules and his decisions.

"You are going to make me leave my own home? He is my boyfriend Dad! He needs me to be there for him. I need to be there for him. How is it going to help him if you make me leave this house?" Kurt is on the verge of tears as he speaks, they are sparkling on his long lashes. His voice is cracking with emotions.

"Kurt you are crying now. You are angry and upset at what I just said. What Brittany and I witnessed in that bathroom you could not have handled it. You would have broke down, freaked out at what was happening to him. He doesn't need that. He needs for you to be strong for him, to make him want to recover.

Kurt you love Noah too much not to hurt with him and he cant handle that right now. He isn't strong enough to watch you suffer because of him. You cant carry your pain and his. You cant do that with Noah, you have to let him heal, to become strong again." Burt watches as Kurt begins to think about what he just told him. He looks at the other kids and Rachel has her hand up. He nods at her.

"Papa Burt my mother/Shelby is bringing Beth by tomorrow. Do I need to call and cancel their visit? I'm sure she will understand." Rachel really listened to what Burt said and she has been checking it out on the web. She knows that he is doing what is best for Noah.

"No don't cancel it. But I just want you and Noah here for the visit. He needs that alone time with his kid. Plus I would like to talk with Shelby let her know what is going on with Noah." Burt looks around and sees the sad faces of the kids. "Noah needs to connect with his daughter. Too many distractions and she could get cranky causing Noah to think it is his fault that she is upset. So the rest of you can go to the mall or go grab lunch. Now I am going to go check on Noah and I don't want you to talk about this conversation around him. He doesn't need to feel like it is his fault that I am laying down rules. I will talk to him about it myself." Burt stands and walks back to the bathroom hearing Noah call out for him.

"Kurt your Dad is right about Noah. I have doing some research on the net about the drugs and I talked with my therapist about what Noah has been through and what he still has to go through. It's scary Kurt but you need to read it and YOU need to talk to a therapist too. You need to understand what he is going through and how it is going to effect your relationship." Rachel takes Kurt hand and gently squeezes it hoping that he understands.

"Thank you Doctor Berry. But I don't need someone telling me how to take care of my boyfriend. I am perfectly capable to do that myself." Kurt snatches his hand away from Rachel. He doesn't need anyone telling him how to take care of the person he loves. He doesn't need a shrink to tell him what to feel either.

"Boo you know I love you. But Rachel is right. You and Noah need a therapist. And you need to look at the information your Dad got from the doctor. We all know you love Noah, but you are ruled by your emotions. You haven't talked about what happened to him, you haven't told anyone how YOU are feeling in all of this mess.

The nurse told us all that day what to look for when he has a panic attack, a seizure and she also told us that we need to be strong for him. You freaked out because she said there was a small possibility that he could die. You wanted to break up with him so YOU wouldn't have to face losing him." Mercedes stops to take a breath and Brittany joins the discussion.

"Noah is confused Kurt. He is hurting over what happened to him. He is so scared of what is going on in his mind. When we were in the bathroom with him, he was back there being tortured again. He was having a flashback and it was REAL to him. He didn't see us or hear us. Your Dad told him to fight back, to scream at them, to just let it out. That helped him, not crying, not telling him that everything was going to be okay.

My Mom talked to me about Noah, she said that we have to let him heal. We have to be there for him but not to smother him. He needs to get back what they took from him and the only way to do that is to let him face what happened to him. We cant let him hide from it.

And I agree with Rachel too. You both need help from a therapist. They aren't bad people, they wont judge either one of you. They are an outlet, a place where you can say what you are feeling without fearing how the other will react to it." Brittany looks at the other kids who all nod their heads in agreement. She hugs Artie who is whispering he loves her and is so proud of her.

Kurt is fuming now. He knows that they are just trying to help him but he still resents what they are saying to him. He doesn't need anyone but Noah. And he suddenly remembers what Noah said to him in the hospital. _**I need your strength**_. His expression softens remembering the entire conversation and how stubborn Noah was about speaking at the meeting. _**It was something that he had to do**_. _**Something he had to face**_. Kurt realizes that Noah wants to face what is trying to destroy him and he has to let him do that without being emotional baggage for the fractured jock.

"I am going upstairs and start some breakfast for everyone. I think we all need some food and I know that I need some coffee." Kurt sees the surprised expressions on their faces. "Who would like to help me? Cause I think I am going to look over the papers from the doctor too." He smiles at Rachel who launches herself at him embracing him in a tight hug. "Thanks everyone. You all really made me think just now. It seems I need my ass handed to me by you guys too. ." Kurt says with a small chuckle.

"You have always been honest with us Kurt. You have handed us our collective asses before too. Maybe that is why we are a family? Because we are brave enough to say something?" Tina's words are soft but powerful to Gleeks. She looks at Kurt and sees the understanding there and offers, "I can make pancakes or waffles if you have an iron."

"Do you have any of that turkey bacon or sausage? We cant eat pork remember." Rachel knows that Noah always wanted to be a good Jew as he would say.

"Oh I can make some killer scrambled eggs with cheese and vegetables for the vegans here. It's my mom's favorite thing on Saturday mornings." Mercedes looks at Rachel and smiles.

"Oh and don't forget the toast. Toast with some jam or jelly." Artie looks deadly serious. "Something sweet to go along with the meat." Mike high fives Artie snickering at the comment.

"Mike and I can set the table for everyone. Uh do you think we will have enough chairs?" Brittany is counting how many people are there. Mike looks at Brittany for a minute, sometimes the girl is just too much. "Come on everyone, let go make the first ever Hummel and Cubs feast!" Mike starts pulling Tina up the stairs.

"Sam would you mind staying down here…Just in case my Dad needs help with Noah…He's comfortable around you and …I'm okay with that." Kurt blushes as he starts to climb the stairs to the kitchen.

"Sure thing Kurt. But is it okay if I take Artie upstairs first?" Kurt looks at Artie with a shame filled face and nods at Sam.

Artie is looking at everyone on the stairs like, _thanks for leaving me behind_. Sam goes to Artie and hoists him up in his arms. He winks at Artie and makes a kissy face at him. Artie cringes holding up his hand to block said kissy face and then says, "I know you think I'm all hot and sexy but I am soooo not going to be the reason the honeymoon is over." The smile and laughter from Sam is contagious and Artie finally starts laughing. The kids on the steps are smiling and laughing as they head upstairs. Kurt shakes his head remember what Sam said in Noah's hospital room.

Burt opened the bathroom door to find a partially dressed Noah trying to put the antibiotic crème the hospital sent on his abdomen. He watches as Noah's fingers get close but then they begin to shake and tremble.

"It's okay Noah, you can do it. Just be careful."

At the sound of Burt's voice, Noah lift his eyes up. Burt nods at Noah, opening the square bandage foil so that it will be ready to use. Out of the corner of Burt's eye he sees Noah's fingers finally touch the jagged cuts. He can hear Noah hiss at the pain. When Noah is finished applying the crème, Burt hands him the foil package letting the dark teen take the gauze out and lay it against his abdomen. The tape is next, but Burt hands him a towel to wipe the excess crème off of his fingers. Once the bandage is secured Noah speaks to Burt.

"I don't know if I have said thank you sir. But I know if you weren't here for me…just.. thank you…" Noah's eyes meet Burt's with flickers of hope flashing in the umber orbs. Noah changes the subject. "Do you think it would be okay if I left the bandage off my head? It is starting to itch."

"Yeah just remember not to touch it or get it wet. Are you ready to do your hands yet?" Burt is trying to figure out how to talk to Noah when Sam knocks on the bathroom door. "Yeah what is it?"

"Everyone is cooking upstairs. The first ever Hummel and Cubs Feast! I just thought I would let you know and see if you needed anything sir." Sam's voice flows through the door.

"Everyone is cooking? Do we have enough food for everyone to be cooking?" Burt calls back through the door. He watches Noah pull up his sweatpants and goes to open the door.

"Uh I'm not sure about how much food, but yeah everyone except me, Brittany, Artie and Mike are cooking. Kurt asked me to stay down here and see if you needed any help." Sam is grinning when the door opens, but he stops when he sees Noah's body.

Burt notices the change in Sam, but he doesn't say anything. The young man is not crying or freaking out, yet. Burt looks at Noah making sure the teen is alright. He can see the small smile that is playing on Noah's face.

"Mr. H would it be alright if Kurt took care of my hands? I mean I haven't seen him since last night and I kinda would like to say good morning in private." Noah looks at Burt with eyes that say _I'm okay_.

"Yeah. We will send him downstairs. I need to check on the food situation and Sam can take over whatever Kurt is cooking or he can help the girls." Burt hopes that Kurt is over his bitch fit, he would really hate to send his son to another house. "Come on Sam lets see how much damage has been done to my kitchen." Burt motions for Sam to follow him.

Once they reach the top of the stairs Sam whispers that Kurt is doing better. Burt steps into the kitchen and sees the papers from the doctor scattered over the kitchen table with Kurt reading them out loud to the other Gleeks. The card for the therapist is sitting in Burt's plate.

"Hey Kurt, Noah would like for you to help him wrap his hands okay?" Burt interrupts the reading session. He watches Kurt stand up and walk towards him.

"I left something on your plate Dad. I know its pretty full right now, but I think it would help me and Noah to talk with the therapist." Kurt says in a low voice. Just before he reaches the basement doorway he turns to his father, "I'm sorry Dad for the way I acted earlier. I read some of the paperwork and I understand now. And please make the appointment as soon as possible." Kurt follows the steps down to where his boyfriend is waiting for him.

Kurt cant wait to at least get a hug from Noah as he walks from the staircase to his bathroom door. He stops when he sees Noah standing there trying to pull his tee shirt over his bruised body. He keeps his face neutral and doesn't make a sound. He remembers the things he just read and what his father had said to him and the rest of the group. He takes a couple of steps quietly back and starts calling Noah's name letting him know that he is in the bedroom. He hears the muffled words, _just a second babe_, from his boyfriend's lips. So he waits for Noah to come out of the bathroom.

Noah is still not ready for Kurt to see his body, he saw the look on Sam's face and even though it was shock and not repulsion, he is still uncomfortable being "naked" around Kurt. He doesn't know if he will ever feel "normal" around Kurt again. He finally gets the shirt over his head and pulls it down covering the bruises before he walks out to where Kurt is waiting for him.

"Hey babe. What's for breakfast?" Noah says with a smile and reaches out to Kurt and pulls the pale teen against his body.

"A little bit of everything. Waffles, toast, vegan eggs, turkey sausage, and whatever else they can concoct upstairs. The girls are having way too much fun and Dad looks like he is scared to walk around his own kitchen." Kurt loves the way Noah feels against him, in his arms. The scent of the hospital having been washed away by Noah's shower, Kurt can only smell Noah now. "Are you ready to eat?"

"In a few, right now I just want to feel you hold me. I miss this Kurt, I miss the quiet we had by the creek when it was just you and me. I love our friends, I really do but it seems I never get to be around just _you_." Noah burrows his head into Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt gently pulls back letting his lips graze Noah's waiting to see if Noah will return the kiss. He hears the soft moan and feels Noah's lips fit perfectly against his own. The kiss is slow, there is not battle of dominance with their tongues, just lips moving gently against each other. Noah's hands are fisted in the back of his shirt, holding on to the smaller pale boy. Kurt feels Noah sigh against his lips resting his forehead against Noah's.

Kurt's hands gently grip the darker teen's shoulders, letting his hands slip up to the base of his Mohawk. His blunt nails gently scrub the short hairs. The simple gesture is something that Kurt has learned soothes his boyfriend. He can feel Noah's head lean into the touch and it makes Kurt smile. _Maybe we haven't lost everything because of what happened to him._

They are interrupted by the sound of the smoke detector going off in the kitchen. Both boys jump at the sound. Kurt pulls away from Noah with a "for the love of Tyra what have they done now." Squeals can be heard from the girls and Burt's loud voice booming for everyone _**to stand back**_. The sounds of a fire extinguisher can be heard now as well as Mike asking where is the water hose. Kurt takes off in a mad dash up the stairs screaming "**MY KITCHEN!**"

Noah follows at a slower pace and finds salt, foam, flour and water all over the counter, the floor. It also appears to be all over the girls and Burt, who is still aiming the fire extinguisher at the waffle iron.

Mercedes looks like she took a direct hit from a flour bomb. Rachel looks like she got in the way of Burt and the extinguisher, plus it looks like she was standing behind Mercedes as her dress is cover in flour splotches. Tina is covered in waffle batter, water, and her hair is full of the foam. Brittany is soaking wet from Mike and the water hose, but she looks happy about it.

Mike is standing at the back door with the water hose, while Artie is in the hall way laughing at Kurt who is screeching at the top of his lungs about his favorite waffle iron and the huge mess that is now being called breakfast. _"I thought girls could cook!" _The words being screeched by Kurt who is standing with his hands on his hips.

Sam appears in the doorway with a bucket of water, slipping on the wet linoleum and drenches Kurt from behind. The young soprano begins screeching his fury at Sam as water drips from his hair down his soaking wet back. Sam tries to apologize but Kurt is still ranting at everyone.

Burt looks at Noah who is standing in the basement doorway. Everyone but Kurt turns to look at Noah too. There are tears running down his face and he is holding on to his sides. Burt almost drops the object that has done as much damage as the actual fire until he hears the unmistakable deep rumble of laughter that is escaping Noah's lips.

Burt suddenly erupts into a giggle fit. He takes in everyone around him. The amused faces, the muck that is covering the counter and the kids. He looks at Kurt and shoots the extinguisher off one more time covering the wet tee shirt his son is wearing with foam. The look on Kurt's face is priceless, Burt isn't sure if he is going to explode or get even. In a split second it is the latter as flour is flying through the air aimed at Burt's face.

Everyone breaks down then, the laughter filling the house. The girls try to wipe themselves with towels. Kurt is laughing just as hard as everyone else when he sees his boyfriend's face, the love there is unmistakable and so is the joy. He mouths the words I love you to Noah before handing out cleaning tasks to everyone but Noah and Artie. He shoos both of them to the living room. The girls blame each other for not checking the waffle iron and Burt just shakes his head as he heads for the telephone to let the shop know he is going to be late, really late coming in today. Artie helps Noah wrap his hands after Sam goes and retrieves the supplies.

The next hour is spent cleaning up the mess and throwing away the waffle iron, the burnt eggs, toast, and sausage patties. The girls offer to buy everyone breakfast at the little diner by Burt's shop and it is decided after everyone does a quick clean up of themselves and change clothes. The girls descend on Kurt's bathroom while Sam, Artie and Burt take the upstairs bathroom. Another hour later everyone is either in Burt's truck or Kurt's Navigator.

The owner of Max's Diner is a friend of Burt's and welcomes the group to his place. He shakes Noah's hand letting him know that he is welcome there. Max is Jewish and he speaks to Noah in Hebrew letting him know that he is there if the young man needs him. Burt looks at Max wondering what he said but doesn't ask considering the smile Noah offers Max. Two tables are pushed together for the group and breakfast orders are being called out to the waitress.

Everyone is sitting around talking and laughing when they are interrupted by a loud voice. "You're that boy in the news aren't you, the one that got almost beat to death aren't you?" Burt is ready to explode at the sudden intrusion. Max comes out of the kitchen with rolling pin in his hand, ready to hurt someone just like Burt.

Burt turns around and sees a guy that looks to be someone Grandfather, Burt just shakes his head at the man. The thought of beating up someone's grandfather is just wrong. Max looks at the old man and starts to ask him to leave when the old man surprises everyone.

"Son no one deserves what happened to you. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't let them get you down, don't let them beat you. I'm seventy nine years old. I was married to the same woman for over fifty years, she was the love of my life and she taught me something. It doesn't matter who you love but how you love. You got to love hard and fight hard for that special person. It don't make a rat's ass if you love a girl or a boy. Just live and love." The old man offers his hand to Noah who has been staring open mouthed at what the man was saying to him.

Noah stands and hugs the old man, thanking him for the words, the advice. Max tells the old man that his breakfast was on the house. Burt shakes the man's hand and tells him to bring his car in for a free oil change when it needs it. The Gleeks envelope the old man into a group hug and tell him that he is _the dope_, they all wave at him as he leaves the Diner.

Kurt looks at the old man thinking and hoping that maybe there is a chance for them, for the town to finally be at peace. He knows that one man versus the thousands isn't something to consider a win, but it is a start. He holds Noah's hand knowing that the larger teen is still thinking about what the old man told him. The rest of their time at the Diner is filled with talk about the old man and what they were going to do today. The girls keep their word and pay for everyone's breakfast and leave the waitress a sizeable tip after Max cuts them a deal on the tab.

The kids follow Burt to the shop and see the camera crews and reporters waiting there. They are staying away from the actual shop and parked across the road in an empty parking lot. Burt tells the kids to just ignore them and to take care of Noah. He watches the kids through the garage bays making sure they aren't hounded by the media.

He walks into the shop and talks with his head mechanic and assistant manager Pete. It seems that the shop is doing better than Burt thought it would since the assault on Noah. The parts shipment arrived and Pete wrote a check, the nightly deposits were made and all the customers said they would come back. Burt is surprised to hear that but he is glad that at least some of the people in Lima would still do business with him.

When Burt walks out of the office, he looks for the kids. Pete tells him that they are looking at the old cars in the back. "_you know, the really old ones_", the kid with big lips said. Burt walks to the back entrance of the shop and sees the kids gathered around the old cars and Noah is walking around an old 1962 Ford Step Side pick up truck. The old truck is in pretty good shape, needs some minor repairs, tires and a good paint job.

Burt watches the young jock's eyes. as a look of wonderment and excitement flickers behind the dark hazel. He smiles as he remembers seeing the same look in someone else's eyes . He turns to walk back to his office when Pete steps up with a jug of gasoline and a set of keys for Burt. The older mechanic has a big grin on his face and tells Burt to go crank his baby. Burt grins back and nods his head at Pete.

Burt walks over to the truck and raises the hood. "Hey Noah, come here I want to ask you something." Noah shuffles to the front of the truck, "What is it Mr. H?"

Burt is taking the air breather off of the carburetor. "Do you know anything about engines Noah? I mean how to work on the old ones, like this beauty?" Noah looks at the engine and begins to point at different parts and explain what they are as Burt hides the smile that is growing on his face. "Where did you learn about engines?" Noah scuffs his shoes in the gravel and looks at Burt with unsure eyes, "one of my Ma's better boyfriend's. He said I needed to be able to work on my stuff so I wouldn't have to pay a mechanic." Burt is a little surprised but glad at the same time, at least someone tried to teach the kid basic stuff.

Noah watches Burt reach into his work pants and pull out a set of keys. "Here, give her a try and we'll see if she will crank without any help." Burt hands the keys to Noah, the boy shouldn't have too much trouble turning the key over. "She is already in neutral so just try turning her over." Noah unlocks the driver's side door with shaking hands and sits down behind the wheel. He notices the interior is still pretty decent and the floorboards aren't rusted out. He places the key in the ignition and turns the key, hearing the V-8 351 motor turn over made him grin.

Burt was watching Noah's face from around the hood. He waved at Noah to stop and to come back to the front of the truck. He knew the teen was getting tired but he also knew he was having fun. "Now sometimes you have to prime the carburetor with a little gas, that's why I took the breather off." Burt pours a small amount of gas into the top of the carburetor.

Kurt watches his father with Noah. He smiles remembering this lesson his father taught him a few years ago. He walks over to the pair and motions for the rest of the group to follow him to the truck. Kurt grins at his father after the other kids have gathered around the front of the truck, Mike and Sam truly interested in what Burt was telling Noah, "may I turn her over Dad?"

Burt grins back at his son and nods his head. He watches Kurt get in behind the steering wheel and gives the signal to try it. The motor tries to stay going this time, but it stops. There is a loud suck of air into the engine and a loud cough with a ball of fire being belched back out of the carburetor. Burt can't help but laugh as the kids screech in surprise and jump back from the motor. Everyone but Noah who is smiling at Burt, "nice try Pop."

Rachel is admonishing Papa Burt for scaring the daylights out of her. Brittany wanted to know if Papa Bear was going to pull out that fire extinguisher and if he was, could he spray her this time. Mercedes and Tina were holding on to each other laughing at Sam and Mike who were holding on to each other. Artie was taking pictures with his camera phone and smirking at Noah.

Kurt comes around the truck hoping that Artie took some good pictures of what just happened, he could hear the shrieks and the laughter from inside of the truck. He high fives his father as he slips his arm around Noah's waist. He listens as his father tells Noah to go try it again and watches as his friends take a few steps back from the engine. He walks with Noah to the driver's door, stealing a quick kiss before Noah sits in the seat.

The truck starts and cheers can be heard from the back of the garage. Burt's mechanics had come out to watch the spectacle. All the men were laughing and cheering along with the kids. Noah revved the engine a few times on Burt's command and then turned the engine off taking the keys back to Pop.

Burt looks at the young man standing in front of him, the shining eyes, the smile that is plastered across his face and he can feel the love Noah has for Kurt. The decision is simple. "Noah here, she's yours. You need her like I did back in the day. When you work on her you will find peace of mind, a quiet time for yourself. Until you scrape a knuckle and then you will find a loud time too. But what I am trying to say, she will give you comfort and in return you will have something that _you_ restored, something that belongs to _you_." He hands the keys to Noah hugging the shocked boy to his chest. A muffled "thanks Pop" can be heard from the front of Burt's shirt. _That's the second time he's heard Noah call him Pop.._

Kurt smiles at his two favorite men in the world holding on to each other, he can see the bond that is growing stronger between them. He watches Artie take a picture and mouths the words _I want one _to Wheels. Artie gives a thumbs up to Kurt as he smiles back at the Pop and Cub moment.

Noah pulls out of the hug thanking Burt more and asking how much does he owes him for the truck. He watches Burt who looks like he is counting up a figure in his mind. "Here's the deal kid. When your hands are healed and the doctor says it's alright, you work a few hours here after class and on Saturdays until you graduate. Me or Pete can show you the things you don't know about engines and I will supply the parts your gonna need to fix her up. And you have to keep your grades up so that you can go to college and get out of this town. How does that sound?" Burt knows that Noah doesn't want charity and this way he will have a job to keep him busy too. Noah nods his head in agreement offering a bandaged hand to seal the deal and Burt carefully shakes it. Noah pulls Kurt into his arms as the rest of the kids congratulate him.

Burt walks back to garage telling the guys to get back to work. Pete looks at him and grins from ear to ear, "you know that kid is just like you, except he likes guys." Burt just grunts at Pete's comment and then turns to look at the kids gathered around Noah, the girls talking about taking the truck on picnics and the guys wondering how fast she will go. "Yep and Kurt is just like his mother. And that scares the hell out of me." Burt walks back inside the garage and to his office.

Kurt pops his head into Burt's office and tells him that they are going grocery shopping and back home. Burt pulls out his wallet and hands Kurt one of his credit cards telling him not to go crazy but to make sure there was enough food to feed the small army. Kurt smiled at his Dad telling him that he will be frugal with the card. Just as Kurt is about to leave the office his Dad says, "go by Adrian's Cell Service and pick up Noah a cell phone and replace yours since the police kept it for evidence. Tell Adrian to put them on my account and to activate Noah's on the account too. And make sure Noah sends me a text or calls my cell so I will have his number." Kurt tells his father that they will do that first so Burt won't worry so much and asks if he could use the truck. It has more room than his Navigator and Artie's wheel chair could be handled easier. Burt tosses him the keys and holds his hand out for Kurt's keys, in case he needs to go somewhere.

Once the cell phones were picked out and Noah's new number sent to Burt, the kids sending texts so Noah would have their numbers, the small army of Cubs headed for the grocery store.

Noah and Artie stayed in the truck, Noah was tired and needed to charge his phone. The grocery store was a totally new experience for everyone, including the check out girl and the young man bagging their groceries. After spending at least two hours at the grocery store, one hour arguing prices with the cashier and complaining about the bagging of his items, the kids push three completely full grocery carts to the truck and begin loading them in the bed. A few camera crews film the teenagers, but they don't harass them. Once the carts are returned inside the kids head back to the Hummel house.

A/N: The song is Savin Me by Nickelback and I chose it for the lyrics…Thanks for reading and Please review if you want..Hemmy


	28. Take This Love

_I just read the verdicts in the case of Phoebe Prince. I am sitting here in tears. A beautiful young girl was driven to commit suicide at the age of 15 by six bullies. _

_She was seduced and shunned by the bullies. _

_Comments were made to her, about her. Words are more powerful than fists sometimes. Well most of the time! Words cannot heal. Words cannot disappear like bruises. They live inside of your soul, to come creeping back to surface when you least expect it. Phoebe doesn't have to live with that tho, cause I don't think God or what/who ever you believe in allows that in the here after. _

_Phoebe begged for help and there wasn't any for her. No one stood up for that child. Not the school, not the other kids. Only her mother. _

_Her mother is left to pick up the pieces of her life without her child. A woman that does not understand how our justice system could allow the people, her daughter's tormentors, be punished so lightly. _

_The bullies received nothing more than a slap on the wrist, probation and community service for causing the death of a human being. How can we as humans justify this sentence for such a heinous crime? How can those in charge of our world think that this is acceptable?_

_My friends, you have to help stop this inhumane treat of each other. You have to help stop the violence, the hate. We are the only ones that can stop it. Report it! Talk to someone that will/can help you. And remember most of all that you are not alone! Please remember that above anything else, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!_

_I listened to Mark Salling's Fugitive while I wrote this forward. The lyrics fit. _

_I am not a fugitive.  
I just wanted to be free.  
From the secrets and the ghosts,  
That have been chasing after me.  
And if you find my cold remains,  
Well, you'll bury them with you.  
In a field far away from the damage that they do.  
Damage that they do._

_Peace my Friends! Hemmy_

Chapter 28

Take This Love

The night goes by without any more issues from the outside world, for the most part. Kurt teaches the girls how to make some basic dishes. After dinner Kurt and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table with the other girls as Rachel begins the long process of telling Kurt what Noah is allowed to eat and how it should be prepared writing most if it down for Kurt.

Noah is sitting on the back deck with the guys talking about school. Everyone misses being in Glee, the singing and the dancing. Artie suggests a night of singing and busting loose with some dance moves. They all agree to talk with Kurt about setting up the basement for an evening of fun.

Burt walks out to the back deck; he looks at the boys that are sitting there and smiles to himself. He thinks of his late wife Elizabeth, she would have loved the house full of kids. The endless chatter that is coming from the kitchen, the quiet conversations on the back deck. He looks at Noah and wonders how she would have felt about him dating Kurt. A quiet wind blows around Burt, a soft hint of perfume catches his nose.

_You know how I would have felt dear. He is just like you. He is brave, strong, and protective of our son. But he is also terrified of loving Kurt, afraid of losing someone that is his world. Be there for him Burt and be there for our son. Help them figure out that it is okay to love like we did_….Burt feels a soft wispy touch his cheek and the wind is gone. He knows that his Elizabeth spoke to him for the first time in many years. He blinks back the tears and smiles at the night sky.

Noah notices that Burt is quietly looking at the night sky with a look in his eyes that speaks volumes to the young man. He motions for the guys to go back inside, to check on the girls. As they walk back inside, Noah pushes a chair at Burt with his foot. The older man looks at Noah with a smirk and sits in the chair across from Noah.

"Are you okay Pop? You look like you're lost in a memory or something." Noah smiles at Burt. The older man has become an intricate part of his life rather quickly and Noah isn't afraid to admit he likes the gruff older man. _Okay he kinda loves him. But he isn't ready to say that yet._

"Yeah, I was thinking about Kurt's mother. She and Kurt are just alike, both kind and caring souls. I see his mother every time I look at him. Both of them love with all of their hearts. You and me are just alike too Noah. I was the jock, the ladies' man, until I met Kurt's mother. I was the tough guy that never backed down from a fight. I was the guy that parents warned their daughters about, just like you. But the love of one person changed that for me and it has changed you. I know that you love Kurt and you would never do anything to hurt him on purpose. I just wanted you to know that I am here for both of you. If you ever need any advice about Kurt just ask me. Except sex, please don't ask me about sex. I am so not ready for that yet. I might have to bring out either the blow torch or the shotgun if you ask me about sleeping with my son." Burt's smile is comfortable and a little bit mischievous that he sends to Noah and the dark teen simply smiles and nods back at Burt.

"Do you think Kurt's Mom would have liked me? I mean liked me going out with Kurt?" Noah stares at the stars in the night sky.

"Yeah kid, I know she would have." Burt pats Noah's knee. "Uh we need to talk about some things, Noah. Can you handle it?"

"Sure."

"I talked to a psychiatrist today, the one that your new doctor recommended while you were in the hospital. I made you an appointment for Tuesday of next week." Burt watches Noah's face for any sign of a reaction before he continues. "Son, you need help in dealing with everything that has happened to you. And I made an appointment for Kurt too. You both need someone to talk to without worrying about hurting each other with what you say."

"Is he going to judge me? Tell me how I am supposed to feel? Will he really listen to me and not repeat what I say? Even to you?" Noah is not reacting the way Burt thought he would, Noah is strangely calm.

"For starters he is a she, Dr. Lisa Kincaid. She deals mainly with troubled teens. As far as repeating what you tell her, unless you plan on doing bodily harm to yourself then no, she won't tell me what you say to her. Just take it one visit at a time with her Noah." Burt looks up at the sky silently asking Elizabeth for help with the next thing he needs to talk about.

"I know I need help, Pop. Sometimes I can't stop all the things that are going through my mind. I'm scared. I'm terrified. I'm angry, mad as hell and I don't know why. I know why but not _why_ you know? I see the way everyone looks at me and I know they are just waiting for me crack, to breakdown. I just want to scream that I AM OKAY! But I know that I'm not, not really." Noah looks at Burt with haunted eyes; more amber is showing than hazel. The jock looks to be at least ten years older than he really is at that moment.

"I know that you're not okay. Hell, none of us are okay and it's going to be a long time before we are….There is something else I need to talk to you about…Rachel has set up a surprise for you tomorrow. Promise you are not going to freak out on me Noah." Burt waits for Noah to at least nod his head.

"She's not going to sing some shit from a musical is she? I think I could handle anything but listening to Rent or Wicked at the top of her lungs. She can make you want to set yourself on fire." Noah has a pleading look on his face. He has thought on more than one occasion about setting himself on fire when she started babbling about some stupid musical.

Burt can't help the laugh that escapes his lips. He believes Noah; the girl just has that thing about her. She likes hearing her own voice too much. "No, at least I hope not. And no setting yourself on fire. We already had to clean up one mess today." More giggles come from Burt as he remembers the morning's events.

"The words, STAND BACK, will go down in history after today! And Kurt's face was priceless when you sprayed him!" Noah's voice mimics Burt. He can't help but laugh hard at the memory of Burt's voice booming through the house and the indignant look on his Babe's face when the foam shot out of the extinguisher. Burt joins him in a hard belly laugh. After a moment Burt continues…

"And now for the big one, Rachel talked to Shelby the other day. You are going to meet your daughter tomorrow. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I think you need time to take it all in." That was all Burt got out before Noah started panicking.

Noah's POV

Beth is coming to see me tomorrow! My daughter…wait is she my daughter? Am I going to be just a special uncle? Friend? Will she be afraid of me? The way I look? The bandages, the bruises? Will she want to be around me? Will she come to me? She doesn't know me!

_Every muscle in Noah's body is jumping, his breathing becoming rapid, the excitement turning into anxiety. His face becoming flushed, small beads of perspiration forming on his brow._

Is Shelby really going to let me be a part of her life? Will Shelby let me hold her? Can I even hold her? My hands. I can barely hold a fork, how can I hold a baby? I want to hold her! I want..

_Noah can't focus his mind. The world is becoming a blur. He can't see Burt anymore. His breathing is becoming erratic, his pulse pounding in his ears. The voice inside of his mind is screaming at him._

**I WANT MY DAUGHTER! I WANT HER TO KNOW I LOVE HER AND THAT I WANTED HER! I WANTED TO KEEP HER! IT WASN'T MY FAULT!**

_Noah has no idea that he is actually yelling the words or that Burt has been trying to calm him down for the last few minutes. All he can see are the pictures of Beth that sit beside his bed, the roaring in his ears block out all sound. He has no idea that he is gasping for air or that tears are falling like rain from his dark eyes._

Artie is wheeling himself to the back porch to see if Noah needs anything when he hears Burt trying to calm the distraught teen down. He recognizes the signs and yells for Brittany to open the door him and to grab a paper bag if she can find one. When she comes around the corner with one of the take bags from last night, he smiles at her. "Take care of Noah babe, he needs you too." That is all the blonde cheerio says as she holds the door open for him after handing him the bag. He truly loves his girlfriend. She is definitely one of a kind.

Wheeling himself in front of Puck, Artie gently nudges Burt out of the way. He looks at Noah and knows that he is having a panic attack from personal experience. Artie gently pulls Noah closer to him with Burt's help. Noah's wheezing is getting worse and Artie knows if they don't get Noah calm soon they will have to take him to the hospital.

"Puck, I need you to breathe for me. Just breathe in and out slow okay?" Artie watches Noah's face to see any recognition in his eyes. There is none in the blown hazel eyes. "PUCK! LOOK AT ME MAN! PUCK!" The harsh tone in Artie's voice seems to break through the chaos in Noah's mind. "Breathe for me Puck!" Artie places the paper bag up to Noah's face after bunching it up into a make shift balloon of sorts.

Burt watches what Artie is doing, the fact that he is eye level with Noah seems to help. Noah begins to breathe in to the brown bag; trembling hands gingerly wrap themselves around Artie's hand. His breathing begins to return somewhat to normal after a few minutes. He slumps over in the lawn chair, the tension from his body finally easing. Burt and Artie can hear Noah mumbling about Beth.

"I don't want to see her. I don't want her to see me. Not like this. I'm going to scare her. The bandages, the way my face looks. She is going to be afraid of me." Noah's eyes are frantic again, looking at his hands and then at Artie and Burt.

"Don't start panicking again, just hear me out. Puck she would be afraid of you even if you weren't injured, she doesn't know you. She doesn't know that you are her father. She may feel a connection to you of some sort, but she isn't going to recognize you. So it doesn't matter what you look like okay? Shelby is giving you an opportunity to be around Beth, so stop worrying and STOP FREAKING OUT!" Artie knows his friend is scared, but he also knows that he is hurting deep in his heart. _What part will Shelby let Noah play in Beth's life? _Artie keeps that question to himself.

Burt excuses himself, going to get Noah's last dose of meds for the night. He knows they will help to calm Noah and they will also make him sleepy.

"Artie what if she hates me? What if she screams when she sees me? What if Shelby never lets her come back?" Noah has so many thoughts and none of them good.

"Dude! Stop! You have no control over this Puck. You just have to have faith that everything is going to be okay. And I don't think a little girl barely over a year old can hate anything or anyone. You just have to have faith my friend. Besides, since when was the great Puckerone afraid of a pretty girl?" Artie playfully shoves Noah's shoulder with a smirk.

"Since this is my daughter. She isn't some cheerio or cougar, but someone that I want to love me. I want her to be proud of me, of her old man. I know I sound like a girl right now." Noah blushes at the words he said to Artie. He just wants Beth to be proud _to say he is her father_.

"Everything will go like it should tomorrow Puck. You just have to remember not to freak out or get upset. You need to stay calm. Don't let Shelby see you have an attack. Okay?" Artie knows that would really freak out the former show choir coach.

"I agree with Grandpa Wheels Noah." Burt loves the way Artie glares at him. If they can nick name him, he should be able to reciprocate the favor. "Here take these." Burt hands the pills and a bottle of water to Noah. "I plan on talking with Ms. Cochran tomorrow to explain what is going on with you. I am going to be completely honest with her Noah. The attack, the drugs, the seizures. She needs to know about it all."

"She will hate me Pop."

"No, I don't think so. I think she will understand why you did those things and like the rest of us she will have a hard time accepting what happened to you, but I don't think she will hate you or keep Beth away from you." Burt sees the worry in Noah's eyes. He pats him on the shoulder trying to reassure the frightened teen.

"Rachel, she will be here to help you with Beth and yes I agree with you about setting yourself on fire with that one. I thought Kurt was going to throttle her a minute ago, she would not shut up.

I asked everyone else to go to the mall tomorrow and hang out for awhile. You need to be alone with your daughter for the first time. You need that private time and I will speak to motor mouth about staying quiet when Beth is here."

"Motor mouth! I love it!" Artie busts out laughing at the nick name for Rachel. Noah looks at Artie and joins in his laughter and his comment surprises Burt. "Good luck getting _motor mouth _to be quiet." Both boys fist bump laughing.

Kurt takes that moment to walk out to the back porch. His expression is one of murderous intent.

"Would someone please put a sock in Rachel I'm Never Wrong Berry's mouth? I just want to.." Kurt's rant is interrupted by Burt.

"Set yourself on fire?" The guffaws seem to make Kurt madder.

"Noah stop teaching my Dad bad habits! And no. I was thinking more along the lines of setting her on fire! She keeps going on and on about how important it is to be kosher. To be a good Jew. **She thinks I am stupid!**" Kurt looks at the trio trying to keep straight faces. His temper finally explodes. "**What the hell is soooooo funny? You sit there like I have for the last one hour and a half listening to her drone on and on! As a matter of fact Noah why don't you go and let her explain it all to you and see if you don't want to kill her!"**

The only reaction Kurt receives is an outright bust a gut of full blown laughter. He fumes watching his father slap his knees trying to catch his breath only to hear Noah say motor mouth and Burt loses it again, tears rolling down the older man's face. Artie is wiping away his own tears and snorting his laughter. Kurt thinks they are calling him motor mouth. He gives a loud indignant huff and storms back into the house.

Noah tries to get his laughter under control as he stands to go after his boyfriend and make sure he understands that Berry is the motor mouth. Burt calms down and goes to talk to Rachel about tomorrow, while Artie waits for Brittany to come out and join him. He asked Noah to tell Brittany to come out.

After several minutes of "I am so sorry and I promise you are not a motor mouth", Noah is allowed to kiss Kurt. They sneak off to sit in the swing on the front porch that Burt and Elizabeth used to sit in years ago. They hold hands as best they can, talking about Noah's visit with Beth tomorrow. The terror Noah felt earlier is beginning to ebb away talking with Kurt. Noah has learned that Kurt is his grounding force, the one thing that can make his whole world a better place.

Kurt reminds Noah that he is only a phone call away if he needs him, but he agrees with his Dad, this is something Noah should do on his own.

They sit out there until Noah's yawns and droopy eyes tell Kurt that the jock needs to be in bed. The other kids are doing various things in the house. Rachel is being lectured by Burt about Beth's visit. Artie and Brittany are making out on the back porch. Tina, Mercedes, Mike and Sam are watching a movie downstairs.

When Kurt starts to tell everyone to go upstairs to finish watching the movie, Noah stops him. He likes the noise and to be honest he needs the knowledge that they are there in the same room. It makes him feel safer. Kurt simply nods in understanding. Sam moves the room divider so that Noah will be able to watch the movie until he falls asleep.

After Noah changes in the bathroom and settles in his bed, Kurt joins him sitting at the head of the bed. Noah looks at the photos of Beth smiling softly at them and lays his head in Kurt's lap relaxing as the small hands stroke his stripe of hair and the stubble that surrounds it. It isn't long before Noah is breathing deeply, sleeping soundly. Kurt gently kisses Noah's cheek as he places his head on the soft pillows.

Once the movie is over and Rachel is given a reprieve from Burt to go to bed with the understanding that she remembers everything that he has said, all the Gleeks drift to their sleeping spots thinking of Noah and Beth.

The kids are up early the next morning, ten people and two bathrooms are difficult time and hot water management. Noah goes last with having to handle his bandages and the extra time it takes him to get undressed and dressed. Bowls of cereal are eaten sporadically by the group and two full pots of coffee are drank before the group heads out for the mall, leaving Rachel, Noah, and Burt at the house alone.

Rachel helps Noah with his bandages; she talks quietly to him about Beth and what Burt said to her last night. She even smiles at the nickname motor mouth. She watches Noah's face light up when she says it. Rachel playfully smacks him on the arm and he fakes it hurting more than it does. The easy banter helps to keep him calm and Burt made sure he took his medicine at the appropriate time.

After his shower he asks Rachel to help pick out his clothes, he wants to wear jeans instead of sweat pants and a nice shirt. She tries to find the biggest pair of jeans and goes up to Burt's closet. She finds a pair of old faded Levi's that are still in good shape and a button up shirt that isn't flannel.

Once Noah is out of the shower and partially dressed in a pair of boxers, Rachel helps him with the jeans. She helps him to gently pull up the rough but soft material over the bandage. Noah winces at the contact but once he buttons and zips the pants, they are not too uncomfortable. He looks at the shirt it is a soft blue and thinks that Burt must have this for business meetings or maybe church. Rachel helps him button it up after he makes several attempts, his fingers just don't want to put the small buttons into the holes. She rolls the sleeves up to his elbows, finishing his casual look.

They head upstairs to wait for his daughter and Rachel's mother to arrive.

Noah is standing in the living room, looking out the window. He is remembering the last time he saw his daughter. Her tiny pink fingers. The way she scrunched up her face when she cried, the soft look of her face when she was asleep. He remembers the way he felt when he watched her being brought in to this world. He could honestly say he had never felt such joy and at the same time such unabashed pain in his heart.

Noah takes several deep breaths to will the emotions swirling around his head away. His heart skips a beat as he sees a black town car pull into the drive way. He watches Shelby Cochran get out of the driver's side and walk around to the back passenger side door. Noah can't help but bounce on his feet, his daughter is here.

Rachel and Burt walk into the living room as soon as they hear the car door close. Both watch Noah and neither one can help but smile, he is so excited and it is written across his face.

Noah watches as his little girl walks up the side walk like a big girl with her mother. She is wearing yellow dress with embroidered daisies, ruffles flaring out from under the hem of her dress, little white tights with ruffles across her butt, black shiny dress shoes and her hair is hanging in two ringlet pigtails. He starts to walk to the front door but Burt stops him.

"Son, you need to breath for a minute before your head explodes. Take a couple of deep breaths while I answer the door." He looks at Rachel, "remember what I said motor mouth and help Noah breathe." Burt walks to the front door and waits for Shelby to ring the doorbell. As soon as the bell is rung, Burt opens the front door ushering Shelby and Beth inside.

Noah stands there as Rachel makes introductions, his eyes never leaving Beth. He looks at her eyes, her nose, and her pigtails swaying back and forth, her dark skin. For the first time since her birth he is looking at his daughter, the little person he helped to create. _She looks like me! _He feels a nudge in his side from Rachel, she looks up at him mouthing the word breathe.

Beth peeks from around her mother's knees at the trio standing in front of her. She feels safer behind her mother. She remembers Rachel but not the other two. One of them is playing peek a boo with her. He makes her smile when he sticks his tongue out at her. Then her mommy is saying something to her.

Burt is talking with Shelby, thanking her for allowing Noah to visit with Beth. He asks if she would like any coffee and with a smile she accepts. She first would like to talk to Noah alone or with Burt, which ever Noah is more comfortable with. Noah nods and they all walk towards the kitchen. Shelby tells Beth to stay with Rachel. The little girl pouts at her mother, just like Noah.

Burt is pulling coffee mugs down from the cabinet as Shelby pulls Noah into a ferocious hug. He watches as Noah leans into the smaller woman, letting his head fall to her shoulder. Shelby is talking quietly to Noah, the simple movement of her hands rubbing his back soothing him. Noah is nodding his head at whatever Shelby is saying and his arms tighten around her small frame.

"I know you never wanted to give her up Noah. I knew that from the beginning. You named her. I saw the love in your eyes for Beth, the pain when you walked away. I don't know how we are going to make this work but we are. I am sorry that I trusted Quinn to give you the information and pictures for the past year, but I brought you copies of everything that I sent her so you would have them too.

I want us to take this slow, for both you and Beth. I have never told her about you except that her father loved her very much. I owed you that much. I told her that we were going to see someone that loves her very much today. I'm not ready for her to call you 'Dada' yet, maybe in time. For right now how about just Noah until we know where this is going. Is that okay with you?' Shelby gently places her hands on Noah's shoulders and pushes him back to look in his eyes. She sees the tears sparkling on his dark lashes.

"I never thought I would see her again. I will take whatever time you let me have with her. I will do what you ask of me Shelby, just let me be in her life a little bit. To see her, to watch her grow up. I will do anything that you ask." Noah's voice is shaky as he agrees with Shelby. He watches her look at his hands, the bandages and tries to pull his hands away. She doesn't let him; she simply smiles softly at him. Her gaze goes to the stitches and the gash on his head. She lets go of one of his hands to lightly trace the red line. She pulls him against her for another hug, telling him to go see his little girl. Noah goes back to the living room leaving Burt and Shelby to talk over their coffee.

Noah walks in finding Rachel and Beth playing with a couple of toys Shelby brought with her. An alphabet set of blocks and a stuffed bear. He joins them sitting on the floor. Beth looks up and watches Noah build something with the blocks.

"A boo boo." Beth takes her father's hand, touching the bandage, dark hazel eyes staring into the exact same eyes as her own. She leans forward and kisses the back of his hand. The smile on her face is genuine. Beth stands and walks to Noah her eyes looking the scared jock over.

"Beth be careful honey, Noah has a lot of boo boo's." Rachel watches the emotions that are showing in the twin sets of umber eyes. A small squeak escapes her lips as Beth reaches out for Noah's face. She watches tiny gentle fingers touch the bruises on Noah's face, her dark eyes studying each one.

"It's okay Rachel she can touch me." He doesn't want it to stop, the feel of his daughter being so gentle with him. Noah places his hands on either side of her tiny waist to hold her steady. "What is it baby girl?'

"Hurt. Bad. Sorry." The words from her small lips almost undo the older teen as she continues to inspect each one. Noah gently kisses her fingers pulling her into a hug. "You make it all better Beth."

"No-No" Beth points at her father smiling like only a daughter could.

"No-ah" Noah smiles as he tries to get her to say his name.

"No-No" A giggle is heard from Rachel. Noah looks at her with a stern expression.

"No-ah"

"No-No! No-No!" She was laughing at the _game_ they were playing.

"Okay baby girl, I give up. No-No." He started to tickle her making her giggle and laugh even harder. Noah loved to hear her laughter and see her toothy smile.

Beth looked at him with a serious expression, "juice?" She pulls on his hand wanting him to follow her. He slowly gets up and lets her lead him into the kitchen where Shelby is talking with Burt.

"Um, she would like some…"

"Juice!" Beth squeals in delight at her mother. She is still holding on to Noah's fingers, not letting go. "No-No juice!"

Shelby smiles at the pair in front of her. There is no way someone would be able to say he isn't her father. It was like looking at the toddler version of Noah. "Here is her Sippy cup Noah. What kind of juice do you have?"

"We have apple, orange, mango, pineapple…" Burt is up looking through the refrigerator.

"Apples! Juice!" Beth is squealing jumping up and down in front of Noah. He ruffles her hair as Burt sets the carton on the counter.

"Hold on baby girl I have to have both of my hands." Noah walks over to the counter and after several frustrating attempts gets the carton open. His frustration grows as he is unsuccessful at opening the Sippy cup. He looks at Burt with pleading eyes, but before Burt can respond Shelby is standing beside him opening the cup for him. She sets it back on the counter and goes back to the kitchen table.

"Thanks" Noah mumbles to her. He appreciates her help but it unnerves him that he can't open the damn cup by himself. Somehow he manages to get the juice from the container to the cup without spilling it and the top back on the cup. He feels like doing a victory dance as he hands the Winnie the Pooh cup back to Beth.

"Up! Plwease!" Beth is holding both of her arms up looking at Noah. He smiles at her squatting down he talks to her.

"Baby girl, I don't know if I can pick you up." Noah thinks about it for a few seconds. "Let's try this." He puts her cup on the counter and tells her to hold on to his shirt sleeves, he then slips his arms under hers and lifts her up sliding his arms around her holding her against him. Beth squirms until she is sitting on his hip and reaches for her cup. "Look Momma, No-No!" She squeals happy to be in Noah's arms.

Burt and Shelby had rushed to stand on either side of Noah when he was picking up Beth up. Each one making an excuse as to why they had jumped up, getting more coffee, looking for the sugar. Noah just looks at them with thankful eyes. He wasn't sure if he could do it either.

Shelby and Burt watch as the two go back into the living room, each one breathing a sigh of relief.

"He is really good with her. I thought she would be scared of him." Shelby says to Burt who is refilling his coffee cup. "I wasn't sure this was going to be a good idea, letting him spend time with her, not after what Rachel told me on the phone. But seeing Beth with her real father, it is astounding that she took so easily to him." Shelby and Burt had talked about everything that was happening with Noah and thanks to motor mouth Shelby knew about it all before hand.

"Maybe she knows that Noah is her father. Artie said something to Noah last night about feeling a connection that Beth may not recognize him but she could feel something between them." Burt is glad this visit is going as well as it is, Noah needed this, something that belonged to just him. And Beth was his daughter; there was no denying that on anyone's part. "So I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you are going to let Noah see her more?"

"Yes. Yes I am. But I expect to be kept up to date on his progress with the drugs and the therapist. I don't want any surprises in this Burt. Trust is going to an issue here in this situation, but we are off to a good start in building it." Shelby smiles at Burt hoping that is the answer he is looking for. "I also want to spend time with Noah myself. He needs guidance in school and I think he needs it from a woman's point of view as well. You and Rachel said that his own mother walked away from him, he needs someone to...I don't want to say be his mother, but someone that he can talk to that isn't in this fish bowl. Someone that doesn't see him as a broken soul. Someone besides a therapist. Someone that will make him fight for what he wants, to give him the drive it takes to make it. And it will give us, the three of us, a chance to get to know each other too."

Burt is dumbfounded at her words. He never expected her to want to be in Noah's life. Not like this anyway. And was she insulting him? Or was she just being truthful about needing someone that will make him fight for his life, for what he wants and what he needs. He looks at the dark haired beauty sitting across from him, her dark eyes watching him for a response. Burt hears the easy deep rumble of Noah's laughter mixing with Beth's squeals of laughter.

"You know earning trust is going to have to happen both ways. I would like to trust you but Noah has watched everyone walk out on him until now and I don't want to add another person to that list. So I will say this to you Shelby. If you hurt him, cause him any type of heart break, I will make you pay for it. I don't know how but I will make you pay for it. He has suffered enough and he deserves for his life to be easier now." Burt means the open threat he just made at the woman. She holds the key that would finally break the young man playing with Beth.

Shelby understands Burt and his love for the jock. In the short while she has been in the house her mother instincts have kicked in where Noah is concerned, "all any of us can do is try Burt and I promise that I will not intentionally hurt him." They are both startled at the cry from the living room.

"Burt!" Rachel yells at the top of her lungs. It sends the older man into a running panic with Shelby following close behind him.

"What is wrong motor mouth? Noah?" Burt is yelling as he runs into the room. He sees Rachel pointing at Noah. Beth is _talking_ to her No-No.

"I'm bleeding Pop, just a little bit." Noah points at the jeans he is wearing, a small spot of blood appearing on the waist band. He is glaring at Rachel for saying anything. "I'm okay. I swear it's nothing." He doesn't want Beth to leave yet.

"You need to go and take care of that Noah. We aren't going anywhere." Shelby smiles at Noah, she knows what he was thinking. "It will give me a chance to change Beth and get her lunch out of the car." Shelby gently pats him on the shoulder, nudging him to go.

Burt watches the exchange and thinks maybe having Shelby around Noah isn't a bad idea after all. He watches Noah stand, a little wobbly, and start to go down stairs. "Hey motor mouth go with him and make sure it isn't too bad."

"You nicked named Rachel motor mouth?" Shelby can't hide the smile or the giggle that escapes her lips.

"Yep. She never shuts up! I thought Kurt was going to kill her last night." Burt smiles at Shelby. "She does talk a lot doesn't she?" Shelby looks at Beth who is trying to find Noah. Shelby watches Burt reach down and pick up the little bundle of energy. "Would you mind watching her while I go to the car?"

"Yes and no. It's nice to have a little one running around the house again." He smiles fondly at Beth.

Noah and Rachel argue down stairs over whether or not his bleeding is that bad. Noah doesn't want her to look at wound, but once she threatens to call Papa Bear down stairs Noah relents and let her examine it. One of the letters has split open allowing it to bleed freely.

"You need to let Papa look at this. It has opened up and it might need a couple of stitches." Rachel presses a cold wet wash cloth against it trying to stop the bleeding.

"It's fine Rachel. Just make it stop bleeding so I can go back upstairs. Please. I don't want Beth to leave yet." Noah's pleading voice almost sways Rachel.

"Noah, I am going to get _Burt_ down here. The bleeding won't stop and you need a doctor to look at it." Rachel informs him as she heads upstairs.

Noah almost shouts for her to stop but he knows it won't do any good. He looks at the word, the angry cut lines and silently screams. He hears footsteps coming down the stairs and watches as Shelby, Burt, Rachel and Beth appear at the bottom of the stairs. Burt is still holding Beth as Shelby starts to walk towards him. Noah takes a step back, "please get Beth out of here, I don't want her to see me like this."

Burt hands Beth to Rachel and tells her to take the little girl upstairs.

Shelby walks over to Noah and moves the wash cloth out of the way. She inspects the cuts, "Burt we need to take him to the ER or at least to his regular doctor. He needs stitches." She can feel Noah stiffen at her words, "I said _we_ would take you Noah; that includes me too. Rachel can stay here with Beth or they can come with us. But this has to be seen about," she points to his abdomen. Burt agrees with Shelby and helps Noah adjust his clothing so that they can leave for the ER. It is decided that Rachel and Beth would go with them since Beth could get scared being away from her mother for a long period of time.

Shelby calls ahead to make sure they can be seen immediately. Burt enjoys the way Shelby takes charge, barking orders as soon as they arrive at the hospital. In less than four minutes Noah, Burt and Shelby are in a cubicle with a doctor examining the open wound. The young doctor declares that stitches are needed to close the slit and has the nurse to prepare a surgical tray for him.

The group is in and out of the ER in less than forty five minutes thanks to Shelby Cochran. Burt admires the way she handles herself without using her temper or foul language. She just seems to take control of the situation effortlessly. He opts to buy them all lunch from Max's Diner and has Rachel to call in the order for pick up.

Noah handles the whole thing better than anyone expected from the Jewish teen. He let the doctor examine him without argument but that could be accredited to Shelby's glare at him. Noah also took the stern lecture from the doctor about taking it easy once the doctor read the thick file on him.

The number they used on his abdomen interacted with the pain meds he was on and hilarity ensues once they leave the hospital. Noah sings every silly song his diluted mind can think of including The Itsy Bitsy Spider which makes Rachel shiver. She hates spiders and Noah takes it upon himself to make her think one is crawling on her sending Rachel in a panic. Burt and Shelby can only laugh with Beth at _the two kids_ in the back seat.

Once they arrive back at the Hummel house and Noah has eaten lunch, his high seems to dissipate and he becomes sleepy. Shelby talks with Noah before he drifts off to the land of nod.

"Noah we are going to head home now. I know you don't want us to leave but it's a long drive back to Columbus and I would like to get home before Beth's bedtime. I gave Burt my home number and my cell number for you. I want you to call me if you need to talk about anything and I mean anything.

I didn't think I would like you on the drive here but I do. I will help you in any way that I can and I want you to come to Columbus to see us. Maybe stay for the weekend so we can get to know each other and you can spend more time with Beth. You deserve a chance at happiness Noah." She gently hugs the upset teen knowing he is hurting over Beth leaving but it is a long drive. She feels his arms wrap around her hears the muffled thanks against her shoulder. Shelby watches him wipe his dark eyes as he turns to say good bye to Beth.

"Hey baby girl it's time for you to go home. I am so glad that I got to see you. Beth you are more beautiful than I imagined. Maybe I will get to see you real soon and we can go to the park or maybe the mall. All girls like going to the mall right? I just want you to know that your da…that I love you with all my heart and I always will." Noah can't seem to get anymore words to come out, the lump in his throat is too big to swallow down. He doesn't want to cry in front of her. He wraps his arms around his daughter holding close before walking her to the front door.

When Beth waves bye to him and says, "Love you No-No" he loses it once the door is closed behind them. Every emotion inside of him comes out with his tears. Burt and Rachel simply hold on to him..

_I took my love, I took it down  
Climbed a mountain and I turned around  
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills  
Till the landslide brought me down_

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?  
Can the child within my heart rise above?  
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?  
Can I handle the seasons of my life?  
Mmm, mmm, mmm

Well, I've been afraid of changing  
'Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Even children get older and I'm getting older too

Well, I've been afraid of changing  
'Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Even children get older and I'm getting older too  
Oh, I'm getting older too

Awh, take my love, take it down  
Awh, climb a mountain and turn around  
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills  
Well, the landslide bring it down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills  
Well, the landslide bring it down  
Oh, the landslide bring it down

A/N I chose this song to end this chapter because to me it fits Noah and Beth. I love the lyrics and I know the show used it for Brittanna but I am using it here. Please let me know what you think…As always Peace My Friends! Hemmy


	29. Say You Will Say You Wont

I had a lot of trouble with this chapter writing it and loading it! So without further ado here is the revised chapter and it will not disappoint I hope…Yes Bubbles and thank you again! So please everyone please read and give me your thoughts…I have started the next chapter already and it is totally angst filled with a goodness mixed in…Peace everyone Hemmy

Chapter 29

Say You Will Say You Won't

Noah was asleep downstairs when everyone arrived back from the mall. Rachel had left to work on another surprise for Noah; Burt asked Rachel to make sure that it didn't involve a musical. Noah had talked with Burt after breaking down leaving the older man surprised. He had enjoyed the visit and the overwhelming emotions were of joy and sorrow but not regret. Noah smiled talking about Beth and Shelby he was shocked at how Beth's mother treated him. Most women/girls never treated him with gentle kindness; his own mother had treated him like he didn't matter. Burt smiled at the young man knowing that Noah was figuring out he had people that loved him.

Burt heard the front door open and knew the kids were home he greeted them in the living room letting them know that Noah was a sleep and to keep the noise level down. He explained to the group he had to take Noah to the hospital for stitches and the uproar began with Kurt.

"Why didn't you call me? What happened?" Kurt exclaimed looking at his father. His hands resting on his slim hips.

"The doctor said that he overexerted himself with the baby and he pulled one of the slits open. They gave him a couple of stitches and sent us all home. It was one of the fastest trips in and out of the ER I have had, Shelby handled it like a pro." Burt said with a smile; thinking about the take charge woman.

"Shelby was there? But you couldn't call me?" Kurt is literally fuming now. "You couldn't take a couple of minutes to call me?"

"Well yeah it happened when they were here and Noah didn't want Beth to leave; I wouldn't have known he was bleeding if it hadn't been for Rachel. She was the one that saw the blood on his jeans." Burt knows this is not going the way he wanted it and Kurt was due a major tantrum any minute now.

"I can't believe this! You should have called me! I would have come home and gone to the emergency room with him! But no you and _Shelby_ took him instead! Oh and let's not forget _Rachel and Beth_! I guess you all were busy playing _family_ to remember his boyfriend!" Kurt throws the words around along with his hands. A green eyed monster is rearing its ugly head in Kurt's words. _I can't let them hurt Noah!_

The Gleeks watch as Burt Papa Bear Hummel stands up completely straight pushing his ever present ball cap back on his head before he launches into battle. The kids take a step back from the two Hummel men.

"Kurt Hummel! You have no right to say those things! You can't always be there for Noah! I thought we already had this conversation! He made it just fine and now he is asleep! You need to stop yelling at me!" The authority in Burt's voice left no room for argument from Kurt.

"Fine, I will stop yelling and go see my boyfriend." Kurt knows that tone of voice from his father; he would send him to Mercedes house as punishment. He turns to go down the stairs to his room when his father tells him to let Noah sleep. "I won't wake him Dad; I just want to check on him."

Kurt quietly goes down the stairs to find Noah curled up in bed softly snoring. He gently puts an afghan over the slumbering teen watching him sleep for a minute. Noah still jerks and twitches in his sleep and Kurt wonders if he will always be fighting in his dreams. He walks quietly back up the stairs to start either dinner or another argument with his father. _I have to protect him!_

Noah sleeps for a few hours, the emotional drain on his body plus the meds that he took allowed him to sleep without interruption. The only thoughts he has are of Beth playing with her and just being with her.

Burt is being given a fashion show while Kurt cooks dinner with the guys help. He has no idea what some of the stuff is the girls are showing him so he does what most guys do; he smiles and nods a lot at them.

Burt pulls Tina aside after she shows off the new shirts she picked out for Mike asking the Goth if she would mind going shopping with Noah. He feels bad that the kid doesn't have anything of his own.

"Elvira would you mind taking Noah shopping, he needs some clothes and stuff. I will give you my credit card and you can take him to the mall." Burt smiles at the Asian Goth.

"Elvira? Where did _that name_ come from Papa Burt?" Tina looks at him with a smirk. She knew from what Artie told at the mall that Burt was nicknaming all of them.

"There was this woman who used to host a horror movie show. She always wore black and had this big long black hair do. She was like a vampire. The movies were always bad or stupid but we all watched because of her.." Burt stop short of saying he always thought Elvira was hot he didn't want the girl to get the wrong idea. Elvira was popular back in his day.

"Oh I remember my Dad talking about her. He said she was funny on her show making fun of the movies." Tina looks amused at Burt. She doesn't understand why he wants her to take Noah shopping. "Why do you want me to take Noah? Why not Kurt?"

"I like the clothes you picked out for your boyfriend Legs. I know Noah has his own what do you call it style? And I just want him to pick out what he wants and not try and make Kurt happy by wearing something he hates just because Kurt picked it out. Make sense?" Burt hopes Elvira doesn't take offense for Kurt, but Noah is not the corset wearing type after all.

"Yeah it does Papa Bear. Noah would do anything that Kurt asks of him and that includes wearing something that he hates. Just let me know when you want him to go and I will get Mike, Legs, to go with us. Okay?" Tina understands what Papa is really trying to say, Kurt is feminine and Noah is not. She walks back over to Mike and tells him about the trip to the mall and his new nickname.

Everyone except Noah and Rachel are seated at the table enjoying a fresh grilled chicken salad and tater tots. Mercedes threatened Kurt for her favorite food and Burt happily agreed with the Diva. He was allowed to have a total of eight which he made a big deal of savoring the fat infested food. Kurt simply rolled his eyes and told his father that would be his fat limit for the entire week, he watched his father fake having an attack at the table.

After dinner Rachel reappears with a box for Noah; she won't tell anyone what is in it since it is a surprise. She takes it downstairs and leaves it beside his bed. When everyone asks her what it is she simply tells them they will have to wait and see, that she wanted Noah to see and know what it is first.

Burt knows what it is or at least he thinks he does. He remembers her taking pictures of Noah and Beth together; she even took one of him holding Beth. Burt looks around the room and smiles at the kids playing Monopoly. He laughs out loud when he hears that the Ditz is winning. I may have to think of a new name for her, he muses to himself. Burt walks back into the kitchen when everyone gets quiet; kids being quiet are never a good thing.

Noah is standing in the doorway of the basement with the box Rachel had left beside the bed. He was smiling, "thanks Rachel." Noah sits down beside Kurt and asks who would like to see pictures of his daughter? His beaming smile is contagious to everyone but Kurt. There is a chorus of "I do's" around the table. Mercedes tells him, "we will look at the pictures after you eat something" as she puts a bowl of salad and a small plate of tater tots down in front of him; she grabs a tot before sitting back down.

Sam declares Britt the winner and begins to put the game away. The others help in putting the game back in the box, no one notices the subtle changes in Kurt his body language telling a different story than his facial expressions. The way his body is stiff and slightly turned away from Noah, the small peck on the cheek and the way he just really doesn't touch Noah intimately.

Kurt smiles a less than true smile at Noah and encourages him to eat since he cooked dinner for everyone. Kurt knows that the feelings inside of him are dangerous to his relationship with Noah but he can't seem to squash the feelings of jealousy when it comes to others spending time with his boyfriend. He knows he should be happy that Noah and Beth spent time together but it was time taken away from him. Kurt keeps the small somewhat fake smile on his face.

Noah finishes his salad and tots starts talking about his visit with Beth and Shelby. The older teen never stops smiling as he flips through the picture album. Each of the pictures taken by were absolutely beautiful, even though Noah's handsome face was marred by the multi colored bruises. There was one picture that Rachel had blown up and put in a frame for Noah, Beth had her tiny hands on her father's face the look of pure love between father and daughter was evident for anyone to see. On both their faces were soft smiles and their matching dark hazel eyes of brown and green speaking volumes in the picture.

He tells everyone about how Shelby is going allow him to be a part of Beth's life and how she took care of him when they had to go to the ER. "The lady is a total badass! She had everyone doing what she wanted without being nasty or rude about it." Noah smiled at the memory of Shelby taking charge and the way Pop just stepped back and let her.

Noah watches Kurt look at the photos and not really say anything. No comments about the dress Beth is wearing or the cute way her hair is up in pigtails. He notices the same small smile stays plastered on Kurt's lips never changing or getting moving.

After everyone has oohed and ahhhed for several minutes over the pictures; Noah asks Kurt to go outside with him and sit out on the deck. He knows something is wrong with his boyfriend. When Kurt agrees; they both head out the back door leaving the others to wonder what is going on between them.

"What's wrong babe? You haven't really said anything to me since I came upstairs." Noah asks the younger teen as he sits down in one of the lawn chairs.

"Why would anything be wrong?" Kurt looks at his manicured nails picking at the well maintained cuticles. He knows that he is being bitchy but he just can't help himself. "You went to ER and didn't even bother to call me so what could be wrong?"

"You're mad because I had to go the ER? Everything is fine I just needed a couple of stitches. I picked Beth up she wanted me to carry her and I couldn't say no to her. The doctor told me to wait a few more days before I tried to pick her up again." Noah hopes that Kurt is really listening to him.

"Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you let me know that you were in the ER? I would have driven to the ER to be with you." Kurt looks at Noah his face stern and void of emotion.

"I honestly didn't think about it. I was worried about Shelby taking Beth back home. I wasn't ready for them to leave when Rachel saw the blood on my pants. Shelby is the one that said I needed to go to the ER that I needed some stitches. I kept telling them I was fine but Shelby insisted I go and that she and Pop would go with me. Everything else happened kind of fast. I just didn't want my daughter to leave yet. I wanted to spend more time with her." Noah's eyes are pleading with Kurt for understanding.

"You could have hurt yourself worse Noah! I think you need to wait a while before you see her again. You can't risk your health for a child that you don't even know! She will still be there when you have completely healed Noah!" Kurt lashes out at Noah instead of telling him what is really bothering him.

"I can't believe that you of all people would say that to me! I walked away from Beth once and I am not going to do it again Kurt! You have no idea how good it felt to hold Beth to be around my little girl to hear her laugh and to call me No-No! Shelby was nice to me too and wants to get to know me. She has even offered to let me spend weekends with them!

I am not giving her up again! I'm sorry if you don't or can't understand that!" Noah yells at Kurt. He can't believe that Kurt wants him to walk away from his daughter to stop seeing her until he is well. Noah runs a sore hand through his stripe of dark hair letting out a frustrated growl.

Kurt watches the anger flash across Noah's face but instead of backing down it seems to ignite Kurt's own anger more. "I am not going to stand by while you hurt yourself more Noah. I will talk to Shelby myself and explain to her that you need more time to heal. I'm sure she will understand that _we_ need more time to adjust and for the cuts to heal." _ I have to stop him!_

"I don't need you to speak for me! I'm not an invalid! I know better than anyone else that I am broken! But you don't have the right to tell me to stay away from my daughter or to tell her mother to keep her away from me! I need her Kurt!" Noah is trying not to lose his temper but it is getting harder to control.

"So you are choosing to inflict more hurt and pain on yourself? You're choosing Beth over what I want? What I need from you?" Kurt's fists are clenched at his sides, the blunt nails digging into his palms. _Please you have to do this for me!_

"I am not choosing anyone over anyone! I need both of you in my life! I love you both!" Noah sees the answer is not what Kurt wants to hear from him. "You want me to choose don't you? You want me to tell you that I will always choose you over everyone else! I can't do that Kurt! SHE. IS . MY. DAUGHTER!" Noah can't believe the realization that just him.

"Well I guess I just got my answer!" Kurt huffs at Noah his face a hard mask.

"No Kurt you didn't get the answer you wanted and I can't give you the one that you want. I love you Kurt and I know that you love me, but we have no idea if we are going to still be together a year or five years from now." Noah holds his hand up stopping Kurt from interrupting him.

"I know that Beth is going to be a part of the rest of my life. I wanted to share my happiness with you; showing you the pictures and telling you about the time I spent with her. You chose to get mad at me for not calling you because I had to get a couple of stitches and you got mad because someone else was there for me. Shelby wants to be a part of my life she wants Beth to be a part of my life and I can't let that chance slip away from me.

I don't want to lose you Kurt and I am not going to be the one that says this relationship is over. I love you and I need you, but I need these other people in my life too. Since my Dad left I have never felt like I belonged anywhere or with anyone, then you came along and made me realize that someone did want me in their life. I made friends in New Directions, Pop calls me son, and now my daughter and her mother want me in their lives; I feel like I have a real family now. Don't ask me to give everything up because you're jealous or being insecure." Noah looks at Kurt with determination in his dark hazel eyes. He reaches his large hand out to Kurt hoping the soprano will take it.

Kurt felt every word hit him like a punch. He knew what Noah said was true, he was being a selfish brat but he didn't want to lose Noah to anyone. _I have to think, I have to make this work!_ Kurt steps back away from Noah before he speaks.

"I am going to stay at Mercedes tonight. We need time apart so that we can decide what is really important to us. I need time to figure out what I want. I will call you tomorrow." With those words spoken Kurt turns and walks back into the house.

Kurt looks at everyone sitting around the table, "I guess you all heard the discussion we just had so all of you know that I am going to Mercedes house tonight please do not try and stop me." He heads for the basement door when his father stops him.

"I am going to stop you Kurt! You are not going anywhere!" The ball cap comes completely off of Burt's head to rest in his hands. It is being twisted unmercifully in the mechanics hands. "You are going to sit in this chair until I get back from checking on Noah. I can't believe what I just heard come out of your mouth at that young man outside. Once I get back inside you and I are going downstairs to have a talk and for you to be punished, do you understand?" Burt slides an empty chair at Kurt, the words spoken by Burt hold more steel than a high rise building.

Kurt opens his mouth to speak but one glare from his father shuts his mouth and any smart comment is trapped inside. He sits in the chair his father slid in front of him and glares at the backdoor when Burt walks out to check on Noah. The other kids look everywhere but at him. He wonders why everyone is upset with him and not Noah.

Burt finds Noah standing out on the deck his hands resting on the railing. He can tell the dark teen is upset by the set of his shoulders.

"Noah I.." Burt is cut off my Noah.

"It's alright Pop; I can go stay with Rabbi Simmons. I.." Noah is cut off by Burt holding his hand up quieting the jock.

"Son you are not going anywhere and neither is Kurt. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what he said to you. He had no right to say those things to you. And I also wanted to say how proud I am of you." Burt gently puts a hand on Noah's shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Why are you proud of me Pop?"

"Because you stood up to Kurt and you didn't let him control you. A man should never have to chose someone over their own child it just isn't right." Burt looks at Noah for minute letting it sink in to Noah that he did the right thing.

"Now I am going to take Kurt downstairs and punish him for being such a selfish brat. He is losing his cell phone, the Navigator, and the use of my credit cards. He needs to grow up some especially if this relationship between the two of you is going to work out. I need for you to respect how I punish him. Can you do that Noah?" Burt looks at Noah straight in the eye waiting for an answer.

"Yes sir I can do that. What he said to me hurt Pop; I shouldn't have to choose just one person. I want both of them in my life but if I have to choose, I will always choose my daughter over anyone else." Noah looks at Burt for understanding.

"Noah, you would lose the respect that you have earned from me if you didn't choose your own child. A true father puts his children above everything and everyone else." Burt pulls Noah into a hug. "You are getting stronger everyday Noah and you are becoming the person you need to be. I am extremely proud of you son."

"Thanks Pop!" Noah returns the hug with as much love as he is being shown.

"I'm going back in now to handle Kurt if there is anything left of him. Mercedes was threatening to stomp a mud hole into his ass and Tina was threatening something about balls and earrings or ear muffs. I am taking Kurt downstairs to talk/punish him so give me a few minutes before you come down." Burt squeezes his shoulder before walking towards the door.

"I think I am going to stay out here for a while. I'll be in later. And thanks Pop." Noah starts to step off the deck as Burt opens the backdoor. He walks around the backyard lost in thought and doesn't know that he is being followed by Mike until the dancer speaks to him.

"Need some company or do you want to be alone?" Mike asks falling into step with Noah.

"You're fine man. I'm just thinking about some stuff." Noah offers his friend a small smile. Their friendship had always taken a backseat to his friendship with Finn. He couldn't really remember the last time the two of them just hung out together. _Am I really that messed up that I let my friends walk away?_

"Do you remember when we were in the sixth grade and you put that garden snake in Britt's lunch box? And she surprised everyone by playing with it until the teacher saw it." Mike looks at Noah hoping to see a real smile on his lips.

"Yeah; Ms. Jernigan went screaming down the halls about the giant snake attacking Brittany. And Brittany was running behind her with the snake trying to show her it was just a baby! That was epic even if I did get one of the worst whippings in my life. She could really swing that paddle!" Noah is truly laughing at the memory. He looks at Mike. "Thanks man, I needed that."

Mike nods at him and puts his arm around Noah's shoulders as they continue to walk. The silence is comfortable and soothing to both boys. They venture down the driveway to the street eventually walking around the entire block laughing and talking about the things they used to do together. Mike tells him of their shopping trip to the mall with Tina and how it was Burt's idea. Noah smiles thinking about how nice it would be to have clothes that didn't come second hand to him.

Burt walked back inside the kitchen to find Mercedes talking lowly to Kurt with Rachel and Brittany standing on each side of her. Sam and Artie against the kitchen counter both young men shaking their heads at Kurt who was ignoring everyone.

Burt walks over to the basement door, "Ladies excuse me but it is time for Kurt to be punished by me. Kurt let's go." He waits for Kurt to stand and stalk over to the door leading down stairs. He gestures for Kurt to go first and he follows him down.

The kids head outside to the backyard.

Burt looks Kurt over when they reach the bottom of the stairs and sees the set look on his face. The mask in place of _'I don't care what you have to say, I'm right and that is all that matters'_. Burt just wants to scream at Kurt how wrong he is but instead he opts for more drastic measures.

"What you said to Noah outside…I only have one thing to say to you before I hand out your punishments. I never gave you away and I never let anyone put me in a position to try and force me to chose them over you. The way you tried to manipulate Noah is unacceptable and your punishment…" Burt squares his shoulders looking his son directly in the eyes.

"Number one, where is your wallet?"

Kurt points over to the vanity.

"You have lost the use of my credit cards until further notice. Hand them here, all of them." Burt holds his hand out waiting for Kurt to hand them to him. Once the cards are in his hand he continues.

"Number two. Where are your keys?"

"What? You're taking away my baby?" Kurt all but screams at his father as he walks back to his vanity and grabs his keys. _No! no! _

"Yes. At least until school starts back and then you only are allowed to drive to school and back home. You will not be allowed to drive it anywhere else." Burt takes the keys from Kurt's hand.

"This is totally not fair!" Kurt's eyes begin the waterworks; but Burt isn't budging in his decisions. _This can't be happening!_

"Number three. Hand your cell phone over. You can have it back when school starts next week, maybe. I know you need it in case something goes wrong but right now I am taking it." Burt watches as his son's face turns completely dark red with fury.

Kurt hands his cell phone over. _Not my cellphone! _ Kurt watches in horror as his phone begins to vibrate in his father's hand and the older Hummel answers it.

"Hello?"

_So did you tell the other cocksucker to stay away from the baby? Did you tell him if he doesn't then something bad could happen to her, even in Columbus?_

"Who the hell is this?" Burt is shaken up by the threat against Beth. How the hell did they even know about Beth?

_What's it like having like a fag for a son? How does it feel knowing your son likes it up the ass? He and the Kike should be dead! _

"No it's people like you, you son of a bitch, that needs to be dead! You terrorize young boys and you threaten a baby! What kind of man does that make you?" Burt is yelling into the phone.

_Better watch it old man or we will be after YOU! Keep the dirty Jew fag away from the little girl! Or someone is going to get hurt!_

The call ends and Burt is staring at both the phone in his hand and his young son standing in front of him. The rage he feels inside of him burning like a fire through his veins. "You need to tell me exactly what the hell is going on Kurt!" Burt asks his son.

"It started this morning Dad! I wasn't going to tell you because of your heart! I thought I could handle it on my own! If I could just get Noah to stay away from Beth for a little while maybe all this would go away! I'm sorry I said all those things to Noah! I didn't want to but they threatened to kill Noah and Beth! I can't lose Noah Dad!" Kurt breaks down in sobs as his father wraps his arms him.

"Kurt, don't ever keep something like this from me! You are too young to handle this by yourself! I am going to call the cops and let them handle it." Burt keeps one arm around Kurt dials the police department.

"Yes, this is Burt Hummel I need to speak with Detective Donovan it's an emergency!" Burt waits as they transfer his call. After several minutes talking with the detective Burt ends the call. He turns to ask his son to do something that is going to break his heart.

"Kurt, the detective wants us to act like nothing has changed since we got that last phone call. So I need you to act like you are really mad at Noah that you meant all the things you said to him. Donovan wants you to make whoever this is to believe that you are trying to keep Noah away from Beth. He thinks they will show themselves is they think they are winning, become over confident and brag to the wrong person. Can you do that?"

Kurt hates what his father is asking of him but he will do it if it means the bastards are caught. He nods his head and then buries it back in Burt's chest.

"I know this is going to be hard but maybe it will be over soon. Just act like I chewed your ass, grounding you, taking your baby and phone away. Okay?" Burt feels Kurt nod against his chest. "I am going back upstairs and wait for Donovan. He is going to bring your other phone the one they took into evidence and swap it for this one. They need the times and the memory thing to try and trace the calls. I will bring the other one down to you after he leaves. I love you Kurt." Burt hugs his son tighter and then walks back upstairs.

Kurt hears his bedroom door open and watches as Mercedes and Tina descent the stairs, both girls have murderous looks on their faces.

"**GO AWAY! I AM SO NOT IN THE MOOD TO LISTEN TO ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME!"** Kurt yells at the girls. _He knows he has to play the part!_

"I don't care what kind of mood you're in Kurt! I really don't! You are going to listen to what we have to say!" Mercedes snaps back at him in full Diva mode. "Sit up Kurt and look at us!"

Kurt sits up on the bed and then decides to stand up. He wraps his arms around his chest and places his '_bitch please_' mask in place.

"What the hell is wrong with you Kurt? You tried to manipulate Noah! Have you lost your mind?" Tina all but screams at him her small delicate hands gesturing in the air.

"I did not try to manipulate Noah! I only want what is best for him! He's still too weak! Too fragile!" Kurt juts his chin out. "He needs more time to get over what happened to him!"

"No white boy! What he needs; he got today! BETH! He missed a whole year of her life thanks to Quinn!" Mercedes shouts at Kurt. "AND YOU JUST TRIED TO MAKE HIM WALK AWAY FROM HER AGAIN!"

"It's for his own good! He had to get stitches because he picked her up!" Kurt is exasperated that no one understands that it is for Noah's own good.

"Stitches aren't shit compared to what will happen to Noah if you make him choose. It would destroy him to give Beth up. He has a chance to be a father to her. He has a chance to get his life together and you pull this insane SHIT!" Tina is shaking with rage; she heard what Kurt said to Noah on the porch. "How can you jealous of a baby?"

"I'm not jealous of Beth! That's ridiculous!" Kurt exclaims.

"YES YOU ARE KURT!" Mercedes steps closer to Kurt her fists balled up at her sides. "YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE NOAH IF YOU MAKE HIM CHOOSE! AND YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS GOING TO BE YOUR OWN FAULT!"

"HE'S MY BOYFIREND!" Kurt screams at the girls. "HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN THAT? I NEED HIM TOO! I FINALLY HAVE SOMEONE TO CALL MY _OWN_!"

"NO! NO ONE HAS FORGOTTEN THAT KURT! BUT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT HE NEEDS ALL OF US! NOT JUST YOU!" Tina takes a deep breath because she knows what she is about to say is only going to make things worse. "HE NEEDS BETH MORE THAN HE NEEDS ANYONE! SHE IS HIS DAUGHTER! AND _YOU WANT_ HIM TO GIVE HER UP TO CHOSE YOU! YOU ARE A SELFISH ASS KURT!"

"YOUR DAD NEVER CHOSE ANYONE OVER YOUR KURT! HE MADE SURE IT WAS OKAY WITH YOU IF HE MARRIED CAROL! SO WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHY NOAH WILL ALWAYS CHOSE BETH OVER ANYONE INCLUDING YOU? WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT YOU SAID TO NOAH WAS WRONG?" Mercedes wants to punch her best friend to knock some sense into his addled mind.

"MY FATHER IS THE STRONGEST MAN I KNOW! HE DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT WE ARE! HE ISN'T GAY! HE WASN'T BEATEN ALMOST TO DEATH!" Kurt is to the point of tears. His anger is building up inside. "I ALWAYS CAME FIRST! NO MATTER WHAT; _I CAME FIRST_!"

"Did you hear what you just said Kurt?" Tina looks at Kurt she still cannot feel any sympathy for Kurt. "You just said YOU CAME FIRST TO YOUR FATHER! So why is it any different with Noah and Beth?"

"He doesn't know her and she doesn't know him!"

"Yes she does Kurt! Even your Dad said that she _knew_ Noah!" Tina walks away.

"Kurt I saw the pictures just like you did! The love is there between them. Just like you and Papa Burt! She loves her No-No and I have never seen Noah smile like he did tonight talking about his daughter! He wanted you to share in that with him but you had to be the Diva tonight! Oh trust me Kurt I could call you much worse right now! But I know you love him but you got to let go and let that boy be a man! You really need to think about what all this Kurt! I mean really think about it!" Mercedes starts to walk towards the stairs going back upstairs. Tina follows her up the steps; neither girl looking back at Kurt. They leave Kurt fuming in his room.

Kurt has a mini melt down as he kicks the bed and throws punches into his pillows. He wants to scream that he has always come first with his father and now he is putting Noah first in his life. He finally goes to take a shower and curls up under the covers of his bed; the music from his IPOD ear buds is his escape from the nightmare he created tonight. He feigns sleep when Noah comes down later. When he hears Noah's steps going back upstairs he opens his eyes again.

The rest of the night is spent with the Noah and the rest of the Gleeks upstairs with Burt watching old horror movies. Everyone makes fun of the old scary movies as not being that scary. Even the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is laughed at by everyone except Brittany who knows Leatherface is going to try and steal her pretty skin. Close to midnight everyone heads to bed.


	30. Chapter 30

To my fellow writers and readers:

I have recently read the memo FF issued in regards to the content of our stories and I am displeased with the verdict. I do understand the ratings system and I think that the slash, hetero, and any other type of pairing (barring animals of course, just EWWWWWWWW) that contains sexual content should be allowed on this site. They could issue a more literate warning about the mature explicit content and make it a members' only type access. But with any system they were to incorporate, you would still have people that will cause a problem no matter what. I call them trolls.

The anonymous reviewer; the person that doesn't write but can offer so many trivial or incorrect corrections to your story, some of these people are extremely cruel in their 'opinions' to the point of bullying the author. Yet they are allowed comment without prejudice.

The bored school kid that has nothing better to do; the kid that knows he/she is not over eighteen years old and on mom and dad's computer that has no restrictions. They think it's cool to read something that is _dirty, smutty_. They break the rules but we have to pay the price for it.

Some of the writers on this site write from personal experiences, you can tell by the descriptions, the attention to the details. They are drawing from a place in their own lives and for some it is a form of therapy, a form of healing for them. Whether rape, first time being intimate with someone, being abused sexually or physically, they are sharing something important with the rest of us. They should be allowed to do so without fear of revocation.

Some of us write truly dirty stuff. I know that I do and the stories that I prefer to read are like the ones that I write. I have never had a problem with my sexuality or other people's sexuality. We are all human underneath everything. We just have different views on what is acceptable as far as sex is concerned.

I checked my stories today to see if any were missing and I felt lucky that a few of them have not been pulled from the site. I sincerely hope that they don't and that they will leave everyone else alone as well.

If they do choose to begin removing our stories then I propose that we find another site that will treat us with the respect that we deserve as writers and publish what _we choose_ to write. We live in the land of the free and free speech is supposed to be protected under the constitution.

So my friends please keep the faith that we will be allowed to continue and if not there are other options. And to my readers I am currently working on all of my stories and will be updating a true chapter soon for a few of them.

As always my friends….

Peace

Hemmy the whacked out southern Squirrel


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